Progress thread for ne

[Budgie]

Hi Otter...you seem like you know the baclofen situation really well...

Can you or ANYONE else inform me on the baclofen access situation in South Africa.

I tried http://www.alldaychemist.com/ but they don't deliver to SA due to some recent customs issues.

Anyone know a doctor in SA who prescribes baclofen? If not - are there any trustworthy online suppliers delivering to SA...?

Any help would be much appreciated!!

[Otter]

I am afraid I don't. There have been a few people on here from SA like Tiptronic but I don't know if he is still around or what he was taking. Bleep might be worth writing to as he is in Zim.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I took this from another thread. I don't want to respond on that thread, because it would be completely inappropriate. I'll respond below.

A signing off the "Med Thread Section" of MWO:

Lost, as you know, I originally deleted my first post regarding signing off the Med Thread Section of the forum -especially "your" thread. However, after some thought, I decided that my deleting "that" post was just as wrong as what is going on in this thread -I felt even worse for not posting.

You see Lost, between the comments that I have received and the posts being made on this thread, one can only wonder what is really going on. Well, it is my opinion that what we are seeing/reading is the result of alcoholism -many times at its worst. I am not the only one who sees this reality; most others that I communicate with just don't have the time or enthusiasm to get involved.

Now, what do I mean by "seeing the results of alcoholism on this thread"? Well, first let us look at the posts. You consistently speak of your desire to achieve the all "allusive" switch and then you will be fine. Meanwhile, you keep drinking -and feeling anxious, depressed, etc. You speak of taking more or less baclofen in order to achieve your perceived results. Ne is all too glad to step in offer further advice and counseling regarding dosage. In the mean time, you keep vomiting, losing teeth and hiding your alcohol problem -all in hopes of finding a magic "switch" so that you won't experience your current results. The sadness herein is that none of your "friends" are willing to step up (openly) and tell you the truth. Their lack of forthrightness is not helping you to achieve your freedom from alcohol. Lost, you mean well and want to help others -perfect. But first, you have to help yourself. Somehow, you have to realize and accept that alcohol is killing you. When you do finally get to drive, you have to blow into a machine first. Your teeth are rotting out as a result of alcohol. You have to give yourself a real chance to survive and writing words on MWO is not going to cut it.

Next, let us look at another fellow member who is in deep alcohol trouble -Stuck. In no way do I think that a sober Stuck would publically post some of the things that he does. Furthermore, I do not think that a sober following member of Stuck would allow or support his viscous and cruel posts. Do you? Do you ask your husband to read some of Stuck's comments? Ne, if you had kids, would you want them to read some of the things that a non sober Stuck posts? Heck Ne/Kronk/Lost/BKY, do all of you find his comments ok -as long as they are attacks on me? Or anyone that you don't like or agree with? Ok, lets just review a few of his recent comments to me:

From Stuck to Me:
"I'm having another drink right now, actually, and enjoying it. In about 20 minutes or a half hour or so my girlfriend will get home from work, and then I will have sex with her. Depending on how I'm feeling, it will most likely be kinky sex. Then I will go to the bar and hang out and then I'll come back home when I've gotten my fill of socializing. I'll slip into bed, and probably finger my girl to orgasm while she sleeps. I don't know, that's just how I roll.

And all this time? You, sir, will still be an ignorant asshole."

And then, we have a follow-up post by Stuck:

"GO FUCK OFF AND DIE HORRIBLE DEATHS AND POST ELSEWHERE. I fucking hate you, Spirit, because you are trying to poison a space that has been helpful for Lis, and for BK, and now for Kronk and Dun. So go fuck off and die, dude. You are not welcome here and you are toxic because you are actively trying to harm people."

Well, does this in any way allow you to feel ok -about yourself, about the forum? And look, to add insult to injury, we have bkyogurl thanking and liking Stuck's post about me going off and dying and then we have TERRY K thanking Stuck for his post about what he is going to do to his (Stuck's) girlfriend. Fellow members, what is going on here? Fellow female members, what would you think if you were Stuck's girlfriend/wife and read what he had posted?

TERRY K –you are perceived to be a very intelligent, forthright, and upstanding member. As such, why do participate in silly name calling and patronizing? Perhaps you are four years “indifferent” but you are not sober –or at least your words do not reflect sobriety.

NE – Presumably, you are a professional nurse –on the way to being a doctor. Are you responding in a way that you would want to be responded to? Perhaps your need to feel liked and have virtual friends impairs your higher and best judgment? I don’t know NE. I am just sad to see you stand by and accept what is going on. You remain a perceived leader and yet you sit still.

What I believe that we have here -especially on this thread, is true disconnect. We have highly intellectual and good people falling victim to a deadly disease –alcoholism. Pats on the back and attaboys are destroying the lives of a few. This does not have to continue, but each of you have to take a step back and consider the consequences. If nothing changes, then, well, nothing changes.

Until next time, I truly do wish peace for each of you.

SW333

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Spirit.
I'm not a nurse. I am not studying to be a doctor. Any perception that you have of me as a leader is one that you have created. I don't see myself that way, nor do I strive to make that happen.

It's unfortunate that I don't meet your standards. I simply share my experiences and help those with whom I have something in common.

You've made it very clear, repeatedly, that you don't approve. You insinuate that there are a whole cadre of people who disapprove. Yet I don't see anyone else here participating or trying to help others. Based on the messages I get and the posts on this forum, I've helped a lot of people over the last three years. Including you.

It's counter-productive to insist that people get well on my terms (or yours). I cannot make someone get help. I cannot make them stop drinking. Passing judgment or insisting that they change doesn't work. Did it ever work for you? The best I can do is to offer what I know and try to live a contentedly sober life. I share my life for that reason. Far from being perfect, or a designated leader of some sort, I am flawed and life isn't perfect. I think that's important to share, too.

We've been going around in circles with this for a year or so. Enough, already.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks for the info, Tk.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I made an assumption about why someone got banned, and I was wrong. Turns out it wasn't the person I assumed was responsible. Oops. I only found it out after blasting that person in an email for doing something I perceived as mean-spirited.

Sorry, Spirit.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

A little bit of an update from me!

I mentioned a couple of things on another thread that bear repeating here. One is that I was having chest pain. It wasn't anything new, but I was still freaked out about it. I went to the local urgent care on two separate occasions and had EKGs both times. My heart, blood pressure, and everything else they could test, are better than normal. No surprise, right? The doc suggested that it might be heart burn and/or anxiety. (I know! What a shock, right?)

So I took Prilosec for a couple of days, but it didn't seem to do anything. Then I started taking the SNRI he prescribed. Guess what? It worked. No more chest pain. And here's the clincher: I started taking it a couple of weeks before the end of the semester. The end of the semester (for you guys who don't remember) is extremely stressful. I stare at the computer or my notes for endless hours, smoking like it's my job. Two packs, at least, a day. I'm completely sedentary and my posture when I'm studying tends to make me ache in various places. Still, I felt (and feel) better. It's too soon to tell if this is going to be a long term solution, but I'm hopeful!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

On a completely different and unrelated topic:

Ed and I have started to think about what the future might bring. We've got at least another couple of years here in southeastern Virginia, but after that...Who knows? And I'd like to get out of the south. I really, really, really want to get out of the south. So I've been daydreaming about places to go.

I've got a Facebook friend who posts about Utah a lot. The particular area, though, is very, very, very expensive. Like, the cost of living is 73% higher than in the rest of the country.

But here's the real question: Why are all of the best-ranked places to live cold? What is it about endless winters and low temps that make people happy and productive? Not just in this country but around the world! Top places to live? Norway, Canada, Iceland, Netherlands, Sweden... In the US? Almost exclusively in the north. What is up with that?

Pete the puppy would like that very much, though. I don't know what I was thinking getting a husky when we like to keep the house at a solid 72 degrees in the winter, and warmer in the summer. She has taken to sleeping by the french doors because they leak like a sieve and it's cooler there. When we have a fire, she hides in the back of the house. We've turned the heat down! I have to wear a sweater now!! oh, the imposition...

Here's a recent pic:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Come to think of it, there is actually a point about that ^^^ little digression.

The world is wide open, now. I'm totally clear that the future is in our hands and we can make decisions based on what we want to do and why, and how. These decisions are rational!

When I was drinking alcoholically, I was incredibly desperate to stop. But not because my life was terrible. (Though, now that I know the difference, my life WAS actually pretty terrible. I just didn't know it. Anyway...) I knew that I was never going to be able to have any control over my future, I wasn't going to be able to do what I wanted to do, or be who I wanted to be, if I couldn't stop drinking against my will. So even though I had a job, and a husband, and enough money (sorta!) I was still hopeless about my life and the future because I was hopelessly alcoholic.

Now? Not so much. I'm not always comfortable. God knows! But I am sober and relatively contented and doing what needs to be done in order to keep making rational decisions so I can live the future that I (and we) want.

It's pretty cool.

[bleep]

I know you received the unedited version of this post Ne, so I'll leave that with you.

Great that things are going well, have a good Xmas!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

It's been a loooong time since I used that email to look up a post, bleep. So glad it worked.

I'm gonna guess that you already know what I was going to suggest, because you already wrote it. Addiction is not a moral failing or a personality flaw. It's all brain chemistry, brother. The only other alternative is absolute abstinence at any cost. That never worked for me because the cost was too high. Maybe now? But I don't know and I'm not willing to tip the apple cart by going down and finding out.

I don't know, bleep. It's something we have to figure out. Too bad we can't talk about it openly here.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Happy xmas to you and yours, too. Glad things are going well. :hug:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

And, yes! I love my avatar. I can't remember the artist's name, but I should credit him because his stuff is brilliant. It's got a fishing hook, with a bobber and everything, in the bottom of the bottle. Brilliant. I'll look it up. Eventually. Or probably not. ha.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Pawel Kuczynski

Images of his work:

https://www.google.com/search?q=Pawel+Kuczynski&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS604US604&espv=2&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=smCZVOyvJMzxoATkjIDIDw&ved=0CDUQsAQ&biw=1017&bih=683

His home page:

http://www.pawelkuczynski.com/Prace/Cartoons/index.php

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I should note that Australia is on the list of top places to live. It's warm there. It's also running rampant with ginormous spiders, and things that live under toilet seats, and crocodiles that eat sharks. So you're warm, but risking life and limb on the daily.

Actually, Australia's just too damn far away from our friends and family to be realistic. I don't believe everything I read on Reddit.