Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Spiritfree has started deleting comments. I wanted to make sure that this one was here for posterity. The best line? This one:

I was not aware that an opinion had to be based on fact or reality. I thought that was why we called an opinion and opinion and not a fact?

Can you imagine what a conversation in the Spiritwolf/Spiritfree household must be like?

Spirit: Look, dear wife, the sky is green today!

Wife: Honey, I see a blue sky.

Spirit: Wife, it is my opinion that the sky is green today, and since opinions don't have to be based on facts, but are just figments of my imagination, the sky is definitely green.

Wife: <heavy sigh> Whatever you say, honey. But, honey, please don't walk around sharing the opinions that aren't based on fact with other people, because they might call you on your bull shit. If you go really off the deep end, you might end up making EVERYBODY very annoyed with you. Of course, it will be all their fault, because your opinions, based on your own imagination, should be True, even when they're not.

Wife: (Aside) I want a divorce.

NE -I was not aware that an opinion had to be based on fact or reality. I thought that was why we called an opinion and opinion and not a fact?
Just sayin?

NE -if you did not know me, all of this would be a totally different situation -but the fact is you do know me. We have spoke by phone and eMail on several occasions. You know that I am not a horrific person out trying to cause problems for others. You know that I have tried to say and send positive thoughts to you when you were were down and out. NE, why are we not trying to work together to try and help others while trying to help ourselves? Hopefully, we will never agree on a lot of things -that would be boring -but we could at least agree to be civil with each other and learn from each -while helping others along the way? Right?

The fact is, I do know you a little bit. The fact is, you have been reading my posts since the very day you got here, and I have not changed. So what the hell happened to you?

We can be civil when you stop feeling like it's necessary to post your erroneous opinions on every single thread in the meds section. In the meantime, please be clear, I see you as a horrific person out trying to cause problems for others.

Also in the meantime, I am in the process of creating a place where people can post specifically because so many of us are tired of your input. Every argument you have, in your head and that you've written on here, is based on falsehoods. The ONLY reason I am creating a forum, regardless of whether or not it takes off, is because you are a troll and there is no moderation on this site. NOT BECAUSE I BELIEVE PEOPLE SHOULD KEEP DRINKING.

God, I shouldn't even have to say that. Why am I responding to you? There is no hope. Just leave me the fuck alone. Seriously.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Dun, I am SO thrilled that you are having success with the two of them. It makes sense, right? Since one is used for neuropathy as well as GABA. My pdoc started to explain the difference between Gabapentin and Baclofen to me the other day. It has to do with a protein, among other things. We decided to put a quash on the discussion, since we can both get carried away talking about that stuff, and frankly, I need us to be talking about Me. Still, it's fucking fascinating.

Kronk, he has been contradicting himself since about day 1, so that post is no surprise. I should quote the post in which he tries to shame me for being depressed and drinking, before he deletes that one too. But thanks for pointing it out, and making me feel better. Not that the shaming worked. That's just funny. Lots of things he could have said that would hurt my feelings, but not about being sick and trying to get better. That just infuriates me and lights a fire in my soul.

Stuck, how do you not have AC? Sorry for that. And the LA commute. I hear that's a drag. But super congrats on the AF time.

Lis, thanks for the birthday wishes. Had an amazing weekend, and the actual birthday was ok, too. The going AF thing is fucking hard. Unfortunately, I can't talk about anything of consequence here, so I can't tell you about my experiences. I would put Spirit on ignore, but that doesn't really help me. I know he's spouting bull shit and I can't stand that other people read it on my thread and think it's a reflection of reality. Especially my reality. No. Can. Do.

I have received a bunch of emails I haven't responded to, but I will tomorrow. Rest assured I appreciate it, and will get back to you. It's been a busy week, believe it or not.

Peace out, peeps.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hola. For lack of anything better to do, and because I miss you guys, I am still here. In fact, I'm feeling rather loquacious these days so it is a royal pain in the foot that I don't feel like I can post here.

That said, Dun, it is well past time (in my not-so-humble-opinion) that you let that shit on the other thread go. Clearly gua** and Lex do not read these threads. If they did they would see enormous progress. They would see the same struggles here as they do on the threads in the General Discussion forum. If anything, we are brutally honest with one another. Which is something I REALLY value. And you know what I value more than anything? That this could be and should be a place where we can post honestly about drinking (or not) and not have people who don't participate here regularly tell us their opinions about it all. Or, as we all know, the guy who has beat the dead mother-effin' horse to a bloody pulp and then kept beating it.

More than anything, it is clear, since we've been trying to communicate with him for years, that he is unable to comprehend what we actually communicate when we respond. So for the love of all good things, let's put him on ignore, truly ignore him, and move on.

I am working on the forum, and will continue to work on it until it is ready. I can't say when that will be since I have no idea what I'm doing and relying on other people who are much more knowledgable and very helpful, too.

In the meantime, I will share with you that I have a 15 month old husky puppy who is driving me B-A-N-A-N-A-S. It's raining here, and will continue to rain, then it will storm and maybe even hurricane, for the next 5 days. FIVE DAYS PEOPLE. I have three choices. I can walk her for a couple of miles in the rain. She doesn't care. I do. I can take her to doggy day care because I am lazy, but we are really tight on money and that is really irresponsible. OR I can let her drive me crazy and gods only knows what thing of mine she will find to chew up. <sigh> It's a tough life.

On other news, I think I am going to have a drink or 18 today. I woke up with that *thing* going on. You know the one. The one that is like, "TODAY IS THE DAY and nothing else matters. Must. Have. Drink." I haven't decided yet. I could take an antabuse. But wouldn't that just make matters worse? (I am not asking the abstainers, the judgmenters or the dementors or the people who don't take meds/participate here. Definitely not asking Spirit. I am asking my friends and those with whom I want to be friends. Just sayin' dammit. Sorry Reggie. )

I don't know about you all, but I am fucking sick of being ruled by this disease. I cannot wait until I am free again. In the meantime, it's 9:30 in the morning and I have a growing heat in my belly. Maybe I'll start the day with some ice cream?

Lots of love y'all.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

By the way, I am going to start limiting my posts to 1500 words or less.

Also, not that it matters, because we don't make a big deal of these things, but my feelings could be kind of hurt that Lis is the only one that wished me a happy birthday. So feel free...And thank you in advance even though you made me beg.

I have to go beat a puppy now.

[Samstone]

By the way, I am going to start limiting my posts to 1500 words or less.

Also, not that it matters, because we don't make a big deal of these things, but my feelings could be kind of hurt that Lis is the only one that wished me a happy birthday. So feel free...And thank you in advance even though you made me beg.

I have to go beat a puppy now.

well!!!
HAPPY BIRFFDAY!!!!!!!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, Sam.

Well, that urgent need has died down and I don't feel like drinking anymore. Huh. The brain is a weird thing. Especially mine. I woke up wanting a drink, and now that it's officially after-noon, I don't want one. But I'll take it and run with it.

Ciao.

[treetops]

Happy Birthday Ne - to a fellow Virgo-oan.

Great to see you posting.
I know I come from another part of the Boards but I want you to know that many of us value and support you Guys here.

[Spiritfree]

Ne/Eva- happy birthday.

Why in the world do you continue to refer to me and belittle me in your posts if you do not want me to be involved in your posts? I just do not understand.

I am glad to have read that you were able to overcome your craving to drink this morning.
Hang in there Ne, it will get better and easier.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, Treetops. I'm actually a Libra. The scales of justice. Which I can relate to. But it's also supposed to stand for balance in all things. And gods know I don't have a lot of that in my life! So much for astrology.

Appreciate the sentiment. I have been on my computer all damn day and it's nice to stop by here and see a comment. Especially a happy one.

[dundrinkn]

Happy birthday Ne!! The trip sounded like a nice time and a great gift.

Yes, I will stop poking the snake. I can ignore bullshit when I'm drinking. When I'm not, seems that I get provoked quite easily. My road rage has also been off the charts!

And... not drinking hasn't helped my weight issue either. Empty calories must weigh less than ice cream calories. For flips sake, I am now 16 pounds where I was in the spring. Dang it! Today I am going to walk the dogs. Or rather, let the dogs walk me. (I am not waddling yet. though I am also 5 '7 isn and have topped 165. Yikes.)

So, I am going to try and stop using so much profanity in my posts. Along with my day job, raising two teens and stopping drinking while upping the bac/gaba, I have taken on another job of ghost writing a biography. I got notes back on the first three chapters and was told that I used the F word too much. I said that in my defense in describing a conversation he said he used lots of strong profanity. I felt like I had restrained my creative license by not using C@$k S!*ker. Luckily he has a sense of humor and found that amusing. So at least for today I am refraining from using the F word. It's just noon here so we'll see how things progress.

Have a a great day and try not to beat the dog.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thank you!

Yep, it's hard to ignore, but not so hard if you don't actually read them and I am actually not going to read them. It's very freeing until I/we get our own space.

So we're the same-ish and I feel your pain. I have a closet full of cute clothes I can't wear, which pains me more than the weight. I couldn't give a hoot about the scale. It's the fact that I can't wear the skinny jeans that I wear with my fabulous green suede over-the-knee boots that is somewhat motivating to lose some gut. I can't even get those jeans over my hips. And I wore them last winter! <aaaaaargh> But whatever. I am going to buy another pair of jeans this week, and ordered a bunch of leggings because they are stretchy and comfortable and I can wear them with baggy sweaters. So there. ha.

I'm sorry someone is curtailing your use of the best words there are in the English language. I find not using the word fuck is very limiting. Every now and then I go through a phase, but then I remember how much I love the word and say fuck it.

I have not yet beaten the dog. But the day is not over and she is VERY bored. I am done with computer work, though, so may play with her for a while and try to wear her out a little bit. Cursing myself for not getting a greyhound. Laziest lumps of pup on the planet...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

It may amuse you to know that I am on a mission to be able to rap all of the words to the eminem song No Love. There are two funny-ish things about that. The first is that the way I think it is "KNOW love" as in "You can KNOW love." So the song is a happy one instead of a Fuck You one. The second is that if you google the words you will see that it is profoundly raunchy. Too raunchy for me to admit to anyone except the WWW and my husband that I love the song.

[dundrinkn]

I will have to check out the lyrics/rap song. I drove my kids crazy when I saw this video and then had to learn all the lyrics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8_H6P8kZ3Y

[dundrinkn]

Oh, and I'm making lasagna for dinner. That's another pound... easy. Ha!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I'm totally adding that song to my ipod. How do I not remember that one?

Oh, and listen, I just went to a foodie mecca. I was feeling all skinny-fied the day after we got back and got on the scale. HOLY MOTHER it was worse than expected. All that lobster soaked in butter and cheese, and the first night, we literally had 6 courses at the most incredible meal I've had in memory. Fore Street Restaurant is reason enough to go to Portland. Seriously.

Whatever, dude. I've got bigger fish to fry, (or steam, as the case may be) because unlike you, I'm struggling big time and it's making me mad. (That's good. Tends to motivate me.)