Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Fingers are crossed and sending positive thoughts your way this week and next.

Seizures shouldn't be an issue given the meds.

I am not going to set a firm quit date, as that always freaks me out and then I end up drinking just because it's so stressful. That said, I am not "opening" the forum until I'm sober, and the forum opens on March 1st. Too many people have worked too hard, and invested too much money, for any delay just because of me. So there's that.

You take the lead, Dun, and I'll be right behind you. (It used to be that's how it worked on this forum in the meds sections...Remember? We could encourage and cajole and support one another when we were working toward sobriety! Imagine that!)

I've got virtual incense burning and am saying mantras to keep the evil spirits at bay while we work through this the best way each of us knows how.

:hug:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Speaking of money! (I have promised that I would not personally badger anyone anymore. So the public pleas begin!)

We are almost there but have hit a complete standstill on the fundraising for the new forum. Please consider donating! And soon! We're almost at the deadline, and I would dearly love to meet (or in a perfect world) EXCEED the amount we need to keep the forum open and active for a year.

Here's the link, peeps. Do your best! and HUGE HUGS and THANK YOUS in advance.

gofund.me/forumforbac

(The link doesn't seem to be working, but if you put it in your search engine, it will take you there.)

If you live outside of North America, please PM me or email me at Neriley1 at gmail and I will send you the specific Paypal link for the forum fundraising. Apparently, it's very expensive to donate via Gofundme from Europe.

[time2quit]

Just gonna stick this song here its one of my faves when in the weeds.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, Timetoquit. Love the song. Much appreciated. :hug:

[StuckinLA]

Jesus H, I had to read back like 5 pages to catch up on all the activity going on here on the thread. Sadly, much of it was not really worth reading - so thanks for that ye-who'll-not-be-named.

Anyway so what's been going on in my neck of the woods? That's a great question, thanks for asking. 1) No, no there is no way for me to see my old therapist, Ne. But that's ok. That experience was a very important part of my life, and incredibly necessary at the time, but it's in the past now. Much like all the running to doctors and urgent aids and whatever every time I had a little withdrawal or a panic attack, for some reason I don't seem to need to do that anymore. I'm happy to put it behind me. Which is not to denigrate psychological help - yours or anyone else's.

Just learned my good drinking buddy who didn't finish grad school is now taking lithium. And also his family has come to town for basically an intervention, and they are all but finalizing plans for him to move to the middle of Washington state, where his parents are living. C'est la vie, maybe it's best for him.

I'm just kind of trying to deal with work and grading papers written by functionally illiterate students and figuring out how to teach them something or at least how to make it through a class period without just staring at them while they stare at me silently for an hour and a half. Sometimes I chug a beer in the morning. Most mornings I don't. But I did today, and think I'll probably have one more in a minute - still with an eye on the clock, realizing I have to drive in about 2 ½ hours.

Lots of college friends are in town for a girls' weekend. One of our friends is running the LA marathon on Sunday, so folks made a weekend get-together out of it. My gf and the rest of them will be staying in a hotel near the beach, and I won't see any of them - save for Friday night - until all is said and done and the gf comes back on Tuesday. We'll see how this all goes. Probably too much drinking and not enough paper grading, but at least it'll be on my own terms, I suppose.

Ok, that's all from me for now. Felt good to chime in. I should be around here more often. Hugs n' sh*t.

[Spiritfree]

Have a shit life, carl.
I'm out. Won't be back.

Tim, I certainly do not appreciate this response but this is par for the course. In an effort for all to understand, who might even care to understand, let us make something very clear. I made no reference to or about you in any of your posts. However, you did solicit an answer from me regarding anonymity and I responded accordingly.

Here is your first post relative to me:

"including "outing" me (exposing my identity)
You know, I only half understand the anonymity of this, or any forum. What is there to hide? "Hi, I'm Tim, and I'm an alcoholic". So what! Who cares? There are millions like me. What is there to "out", dude? I posted my own picture and where I live. For me, there is nothing to "out". Unless, of course, Spirit Free has something to hide. Come on, man! What's the deal?"

(Please everyone keep in mind that I have never posted to or about this Tim person)

My reply to you was quite simple:
"Tim -thank you for your post. As you say, you do not really understand this 'anonymity' stuff. Tim, if someone is threatening to expose the identity of you, your family, your business, your homestead, your friends, your employers, etc., perhaps you may have a better understanding of what I am speaking about. "

"So yes Tim, I do have something to hide; my personal identity, especially for the sake of my family, my friends, my employers, and others. So Tim, man, here is the deal; expose all of your identifying information, use your second amendment rights to defend yourself, and then report back to us all how that worked out for you. Just a thought Tim...."

Now, because of my reply back to you, you are deciding not to post anymore -right?
This is same ole same ole rhetoric from most of the other ole timers. 'Attack Spiritfree, wait for a response, and then tell and show all how bad of a person that he is. Perfect way to get rid of someone who you disagree with or just do like.

I might possibly be wrong about this, but I just do not think that NE, TK, and others like them like for the spot light to be taken off of them -even just briefly Ego, need to feel wanted and accepted, and need to be right, continue to allow and require them to post harmful comments about me and they never read the information that I post. This is sad, but this is the truth.
This is the typical way of the using addict -regretfully.

[Mentium]

Jesus Christ. I actually laughed out loud at this one!

[MeJustMe]

Ne, I'm sorry you've had such a shocking drinking episode. That can spur one into action though. We've all been there - heck, for me just 2.5 weeks ago -- so we've felt your pain. Hang in there. I can't wait for the new forum, the sociopath has taken his madness to a new level of late.

[Mentium]

I should have focused on Ne rather than the troll. Apologies. I too hope you get back to where you want to be. And soon. Take care of yourself.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Just learned my good drinking buddy who didn't finish grad school is now taking lithium. And also his family has come to town for basically an intervention,

So glad to hear all of that.

I'm just kind of trying to deal with work and grading papers written by functionally illiterate students

The more people in the world that can't write, the more room there is for people who can. You can teach me! I may actually learn this time...

Sometimes I chug a beer in the morning. Most mornings I don't. But I did today, and think I'll probably have one more in a minute - still with an eye on the clock, realizing I have to drive in about 2 ½ hours.

I still can't imagine drinking "first thing in the morning", which is funny, because I can easily open my first beer at 10:30am for the first time in my life. Like so many other people, I thought it was a sign of true alky-ism to drink in the morning. As if I wasn't alky enough drinking to pass-out every night. And all the rest that goes along with being full blown addicted to alcohol. If I was a praying kind of woman, Stuck, I'd be praying that you find an end to this period of drinking very soon. But I'll worry about myself first, if you don't mind.

Hope the gf and her girlfriends have fun and that you aren't totally out of control without her around!

Ne, I'm sorry you've had such a shocking drinking episode. That can spur one into action though. We've all been there - heck, for me just 2.5 weeks ago -- so we've felt your pain. Hang in there. I can't wait for the new forum, the sociopath has taken his madness to a new level of late.

Thanks, MJM. It was shocking! Have you been sober for 2.5 weeks now? That's awesome. I am definitely hanging in there. And yes, the new forum cannot happen soon enough. In the meantime, though, Mentium is right and I should probably delete my response to him since it just fuels his fire. EDIT: I deleted it. Very proud of myself for that, too.

I should have focused on Ne rather than the troll. Apologies. I too hope you get back to where you want to be. And soon. Take care of yourself.

Thanks, Menty. I will. Not soon enough, but soon.

:hug: to all. Thanks for posting despite the evil spirit.

[Rusty]

Ne, I am working late today but I just had to come on here and offer support because I am so very fond of you. Ugghhh....going on a bender and not remembering anything and knowing the booze is oozing out of your pores. The remorse, the shame...it's overwhelming. I so get it! Let's keep in touch via email, and no, dear, I have not forgotten your new forum. I took yesterday completely off because it was my birthday and I had been putting in 12-hr days, so I just needed a break. But I'm back now and ready to listen/help. The bender you mentioned was one I used to experience about once a week or every two weeks, always on a Sunday, dreading Monday...when my drinking was at its worst (a period of about 3 years). I think the only reason my business did not collapse is that I would feel such shame at falling behind on my work that the next day, recovering from a hangover, I put my nose to the grindstone and accomplished all my tasks. I am here for you!:heartbeat::hug::hug:

[Mom21961]

Ne and Dun,

:fingers: for you both.

The mind thing was a BIG hurdle for me to get past, even when the craving was under control. When I knew that indifference was arriving (I almost said 'when I knew the end was coming' but that's not a positive way to look at it, is it???) I even escalated my drinking just thinking about giving up my crutch. As you may remember, this did not serve me well!! Ne.. could your positive progress have set you up for that crazy day/night in the same way? Your consumption was way down, then it wasn't in a big way.

M

[StuckinLA]

Would like to reiterate all the support for you, Ne. Keep on keepin' on, sister.

I did drink too much this morning, trying to deal with the hangover/withdrawal/malaise whatever. I had 3 beers. Though they were spaced out and I stopped while still watching the clock, so while I wasn't 100% I do believe I was fine (legally) to drive.

The rest of the day was pretty crap, and the drinks this evening couldn't come soon enough, after my classes and getting home. Anyway, just wanted to post a quick update. I, too, hope this episode of heavy daily drinking comes to a close sooner rather than later. But it will be nice to have a long weekend to sort it out, or at least try to sort it out.

Hugs all 'round except for that one person.

[Stevo]

Ne I have drank more than I have in years in the last week,it is spinning me out.I had a very late night where I drank nearly a carton of beer to myself a couple of nights ago.
I made a shitload of phone calls that I shouldn't have,text as well as internet messages.

I am fully with you and understand,I hope that you are feeling a bit better today.

Cheers Stevo.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

You guys don't have any idea how great it is to have your posts and your support. More from me in the morning...(It's 12:40am here and I have no business being awake.) (Reminds me about back in the good old days when I could sign on and find someone awake somewhere to keep me company when I really needed it...)

:heartbeat: