Progress thread for ne

[Stevo]

Sorry to hear about what happened to Ed too Ne,I hope everything turns out okay.

[kronkcarr]

I'm so sorry for the both of you. I can't imagine the shock of jail. Maybe your state is similar to ours--or what I think happens here. First a good attorney often gets people off. If not, I believe that first time offenders get a fine and community service. I think the biggest issue is the increase in car insurance.

I like that you looked for my race. The Racing the Planet had theirs last week which was good for me because I could read their blogs. I'm going with GlobalLimits. You can find it here:

THE WILD ELEPHANT TRAIL - GLobalLimits

Hopefully all of you will hold me in good thoughts. dun, it's 210 or 220 km.

I didn't drink about my identity theft. I got 3 more cards at my address from 6 years ago. I had a stress meltdown and then called and reported them. I felt much less stressed when I got up today.

I hope it's a good night and day for all of us.

[YouKayBee]

Hi Ne

Sorry about Ed' experience - Send him my best from over the pond....

As you well know, I have been there and done it where drink driving is concerned - My guilt is one of the main reasons I chose to abstain (totally) from AL

The guilt and associated conditions that arise from being caught will pass - No one was hurt (maybe Ed' pride) but everyone lives to fight another day - Although in my instance this was not the case, it is rather like the breavement of a sibling - I have had both - It is something you learn to live with, adapt to, handle or becomes part of your journey - Whatever way you chose to allow it to happen

Yes loss of license is a pain in the arse but like the experience, you (as a couple) will adapt - It may look shitty initially but it will become part of your routine as time passes - I dont know what the US opinion on "failing to supply" is but it is probably worse than "a little over the limit"
How far does he work from home? - Can he not ride a bike (pushbike) into work? - I know people who ride 15 odd miles in and the same home to work - ok he might be a little "pungent" but its an option - There are other options Ne, loads of them - You have to adapt and if there is anyone out there who can adapt, its you

Ok - Jail? - Not sure what the rules in the US are but certainly here you are not even considered for Jail unless you are driving while already disqulified and even then you will need to have run over a bus queue or the like - It may be different but Jail is a little excessive for a stand alone DUI - A quick google shows a 1 year license withdrawal for the first DUI

I have no idea what a "blow tube" is - You know my sence of humour..................

Yes - One foot infront of the other - adapt, it wont be easy at first but it will improve

Sorry I got rudely interupted just now so I have lost my thread somewhat - If I think of anything else I will let you know

Regards


Bacman

I'm the same, except I said I would never drink drive, I only did it once and caused a serious accident. Here in the UK anything over the limit is an instant ban, refusing the breathlyser is a longer instant ban. I received 16 months, shortened to 12 months, I also know that being tired is also just as dangerous..............the time will pass, and he will get his licence back. I remember feeling so ashamed, it was terrible. I now drive very carefully, not had a speeding point or any other motoring convictions ever (and most UK people will get caught on a speed camera at some time). The course I went on was very useful, I now know all the stuff which would have been useful at the time!

I still have to declare the drink driving as an offence when undergoing enhanced police checks for some of the jobs I do, it is now 9 years on, I am able to explain that it was a consequence of my drinking and that I am totally drug and alcohol free now. It's not easy having to go into that, I was even looking at a PT job locally, and because they have children in the facility a full check is needed, so I have to explain my history.

Sorry that's about me. I think what I'm trying to say is that what's done is done, and it is all very scary.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thank you all.

I'm fine, just in case it comes up. Just have too much to do and not enough time to do it. And way too little computer time! Back with you in a bit. Or at least in the next couple of days!

[StuckinLA]

It will be ok eventually, Ne. He's not going to jail. Refusing to blow adds a little complication to the whole mess, but nothing your lawyer shouldn't be able to handle - especially for a first offense. If the wine was unopened then it isn't even an open container, I don't think. Anyway, the lawyer will know better than I. And yes, it is traumatic.

Hang in there.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, Stuck.

I still can't figure out why he decided not to blow, even at the station. I mean, he weighs 200# and had 2 glasses of wine. I know he regrets it now, too. But like with all things, we can't second guess it and just have to move on.

Ed has actually had a DUI before, but it was more than 10 years ago, so isn't on his record, thank God. He blew a .26 that night. Doesn't remember any of it, was in a complete blackout. He got jail time and lost his license for I don't remember how long. Maximum sentence for everything, but this was before the thing that you attach to cars to make sure you're sober when you drive. We learned our lesson using a cheap lawyer...

We're meeting with the uber-expensive, knows everyone and everything, lawyer on Wednesday. He's third-generation lawyer in this area, and when I say he knows everyone, I mean it. Hopefully he'll have some answers and something positive to say. It's not like we have the $5000-$10000 that this might cost us laying around, either. But whatever. It is what it is. Ed is finally starting to recover from the stress and anxiety of it. I'm grateful for that.

I got nothing new on my front. The nal really upsets my stomach, so I've been trying really hard to take it with a bunch of food. Not easy since I don't eat during the day. It's actually prescribed to take a pill at night before bed. I tried that, too, and woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pain and diarrhea. Not sure what to do about it, to tell you the truth. But it's not like I'm not dismissing it. It just needs to be managed better. And the more I read about nal, the more intrigued I am about how it works.

I haven't gone up any on bac, either. Will do that this week.
Finally finished my resume and will start applying for jobs soon. That's exciting! And I should get my approval to take my national certification exam sometime in the next couple of weeks. There was a bureaucratic snafu with that. I should have received it weeks ago. It's okay, though, because it's given me time to work on the new forum without too much guilt about not studying or applying.

Next up is studying non-stop for the exam and trying to get a job. All in good time.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I've got a favor to ask of you peeps. (Another one!)

I'd like you to include your story on the new forum. There's a specific thread dedicated to people sharing their experiences. My goal is to have more than 20 people post on that thread the first week that we start. It will give newcomers and lurkers an idea of who we are and what we're about.

I am interested in getting success stories as well as those in progress. I don't want it to be baclo-centric, either. So those of you who abstain, or who are involved because of a family member, or who used something other than baclofen, please PLEASE include your story.

Thank you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Bummer news:

We're not going to open the new forum today. Some technical stuff going on that needs to be taken care of, as well as flushing out the content.

But it won't be long! Will keep you tuned.

xx

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Unfortunately, the deadline of March 1st wasn't just for the sake of the forum. There are some things I need to take care of in 3D life before I can get back to the forum.

In the meantime, Ed and I saw the lawyer yesterday. Basically, Ed did everything wrong that you can do wrong under those circumstances. (LESSON #1: DO NOT SPEAK.) But because his prior isn't on his record, it was charged as a first offense and he should be able to get away without jail time. The scarier thing, honestly, is that he could lose his license for a year. We'd actually prefer him to have to do a couple of weekends in jail, in order to be able to keep a restricted license. And of course, that thing they put on your car so you have to blow into it is a requirement for any alcohol related offense. <sigh> Wonder how much THAT is going to cost us.

Anyway. I'm freaking out a little bit about the stuff I need to take care of to get a job and pass my exam, and pissed off about the fact that we have very little money to spare and it's going to have to be spent on this shit. Very, very frustrating. All of it. And I hate being angry with him, because I know he's really angry with himself and full of shame/regret/remorse. But damn, man, if he had just kept his mouth shut. Or taken the breathalyzer. Or taken a fucking Uber home. Or any of a million things...

Ah, well. Whatever. It is what it is.

Hope you guys are doing okay. Bacatcha later, gators.

Kronk, thinking about you!!

[StuckinLA]

I think it's like $100-150/month for the interlock (the car thingy).

It *is* a really tough call on what to do under those circumstances. The law is such that refusing any part of the sobriety test or breathalyzer is really bad - in terms of losing your license for a while. But being convicted of a DUI is really bad too. And anything you do is just giving the police evidence. But yeah, don't speak. Don't say a damned word about where you were, what you had to drink, how much, over what period of time.

Don't. Speak. Period.

Actually pretty good advice for some around here, too.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

There's an irony here that I haven't admitted to, yet. Not on purpose, it just didn't occur to me. (Don't get me wrong, some people will make it shameful to admit this, but I maintain that it's important to tell the truth, regardless.)

Did you guys know that I was following him home? I'd been drinking all damn night. Hell, my first beer was around 3pm, probably. I had an empty beer bottle in my glove compartment that I drank on my way to the party. I met the people I went with around 6pm for the pre-party and we all drove to the pary (in different cars) around 7:30pm.

Around 9pm, his boss grabbed me and said we should go to her place to drink some good wine. He didn't meet us there until about 10pm. Then he had a couple of glasses of wine and we went home. When I went through the checkpoint, I couldn't find my registration, and was worried I would have to open the glove compartment where the empty beer bottle was. I handed the police officer my license and insurance and he said that was enough. He checked them. Handed them back, and told me to have a nice night.

Meanwhile, I watched Ed being pulled over. He had a closed bottle of wine in his cupholder. Didn't occur to him to put the damn bottle in the backseat. When the officer asked him if he had anything to drink, he said he'd had a glass of wine. That was enough to get him pulled over. I can't imagine, seriously can't imagine, how he failed the street-side sobriety tests.

After he got to the station, the officer was being all friendly and asked him how much he really had to drink. Ed admitted to a drink at 6:30pm and a second glass of wine. That was the second major mistake.

The third was that when the officer asked him why he didn't want to take the breathalyzer, Ed said that he'd had a bad experience before. (In other words, admitting to a prior, which wasn't actually on his record.)

It *is* a really tough call on what to do under those circumstances.
...

Don't. Speak. Period.

I can tell you straight up that I should not have been driving that night. Absolutely not.

I can't tell you whether Ed should have been driving. I would say, and he would agree, that based on the roadside sobriety tests, he shouldn't have been. Whether it was exhaustion or it was two glasses of wine or the combination, he shouldn't have been driving.

But the rest of it? For God's sake, people. If you get pulled over, DO NOT SPEAK. DO NOT DO OR ALLOW ANYTHING unless it's mandatory.

That is straight from our lawyer's mouth. Don't take a test. Don't admit to anything. Unless you absolutely must do something, DON'T DO ANYTHING. And there isn't anything you absolutely must do.

I'm not suggesting that people should get away with drinking and driving. I'm not suggesting it's okay to drink and drive. But in my humble opinion, the laws pertaining to drinking and driving are absolutely horrific and we each and all have a right to know our rights. Learn from Ed's mistake. Take a cab or Uber, even if you've only had one or two.

And don't forget the (ironically) most important lesson...

Don't speak without a lawyer. Period.

Much love.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

While we're on the subject of drunk driving...

A friend of ours killed two people in 2009 when she rammed them from behind on the highway and they ran off the road into a ravine.

Yesterday, she was back in court for having blown above the legal limit on her interlock device three times in the last year. (It's the thing that keeps you from being able to start your car if you've been drinking.) The last time she tried to start her car, the interlock device indicated that she had a BAC of .20.

I'm not suggesting that she shouldn't go to jail. But she's already spent time in jail. She killed two men, which she has to live with every single day of her life. And still she can't stop drinking.

During all of this time the only treatment she has had available to her has been AA. Which she was required to attend, and which she attended. Obviously, it doesn't work. At least not for her. Nor is it for approximately 95% of the people who are required to attend as though it's some form of treatment for a disease.

[Spiritfree]

While we're on the subject of drunk driving...
A friend of ours killed two people in 2009 when she rammed them from behind on the highway and they ran off the road into a ravine.
I'm not suggesting that she shouldn't go to jail. But she's already spent time in jail. She killed two men, which she has to live with every single day of her life. And still she can't stop drinking. During all of this time the only treatment she has had available to her has been AA. Which she was required to attend, and which she attended. Obviously, it doesn't work. At least not for her. Nor is it for approximately 95% of the people who are required to attend as though it's some form of treatment for a disease.

Quote from NE: "I can tell you straight up that I should not have been driving that night. Absolutely not." - a few nights ago.

NE, I wonder if your friend would avoided killing these people had she been on Baclofen? It is still sad for all involved no matter how you look at it -right?

AUD (ALCOHOLISM) IS A BRAIN DISORDER THAT DOES NOT ALLOW A PERSON TO KNOW THAT THEY HAVE THE DISORDER.

[Baclofenman]

Or taken a fucking Uber home

FYI- Uber Cabs are banned in many Countries and cities - Dont get me started on thoses wankers

Whilst on that subject - Spirit, can you please learn how to quote properly - You seem to be able to quote a whole post and highlight colours - If you insist on adding your own text as a quote for someone else put it in between {QUOTE} PUT IT HERE {/QUOTE} - just re-place the { and } for a [ and ] - If you want to be really clever you can use [QUOTE=Neva Eva] so her name will appear in the quote

This may improve the layout of your posts but I doubt even this will improve the content

Regards


Bacman

[lex]

Ne- that friend of yours? Oh my God.