Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

5.5 Years post Baclofen treatment for alcoholism?

--sf--

Don't take my experience and my life out of context. I was contentedly sober for almost 4 years when I stopped taking enough baclofen and relapsed. You can be such an asshole. Please stop.

NE, I wonder if your friend would avoided killing these people had she been on Baclofen? It is still sad for all involved no matter how you look at it -right?

Maybe, Spirit, she would have been indifferent. Maybe if she had access to medications now she wouldn't still be drinking. If anyone has EVERY REASON in the world to not drink and drive, it's her. She killed two men. She lives with and cares for her elderly, ill parents. She has a daughter that she finally got custody of and they are able to be together. She has a good job she really loves and a significant other.

She is about to lose all of it because she can't stop drinking. And no one is there to help her.

Ne- that friend of yours? Oh my God.

Lex, I know that many of us have horror stories about people we know who are affected by this disease, but Ed and I know more than our fair share. Her story is just one. Many suicides. A murder. Other car accidents that harmed people. A friend with wet brain at the age of 40. The list goes on.

I have an altar of sorts in a cabinet in my study with pictures or something that reminds me of the person we've lost...It is full.

I don't want to, and couldn't if I tried, forget the toll this disease takes on people. Not just the person addicted, either. But them most of all, since it is often the person who can't stop drinking (or using) who has absolutely no support, no empathy, no self-respect or dignity.

We found out about her most recent probation violation in The Washington Post. They published a picture of her, bleary-eyed and tearful. Can you imagine the horror of that? I don't know how she gets out of bed in the morning. I am so, so sad for her and for her family.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Breaking news:

I just heard my first Justin Bieber song.

Hope you guys are having a nice weekend.

[nicnak68]

Breaking news:

I just heard my first Justin Bieber song.

Hope you guys are having a nice weekend.

I just love his latest song..... Love yourself ��

[YouKayBee]

Having been there myself any taxi is always cheaper than a DUI, and less risk of causing harm to others.

Totally gutting to have the wrong one pulled over, I'm also surprised the officer didn't smell you, but wierder things have happened and not everyone 'smells' of booze when consuming large or constant amounts.

Yeah all the stuff you learn after the DUI, annoying but cannot be changed. Maybe they'd have followed up on you if he'd not refused?

Once you have the sentence you'll know what you need to deal with.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I just love his latest song..... Love yourself ��

That was the one! It was catchy.

Having been there myself any taxi is always cheaper than a DUI, and less risk of causing harm to others.

Clearly. Though to be honest, I don't think either of us thought there was any reason not to drive. Especially him. I mean, I drank a lot, but didn't feel drunk. I was with his boss after all! But still, it's totally clear (now, of course) that neither of us should have been driving.

Totally gutting to have the wrong one pulled over, I'm also surprised the officer didn't smell you, but wierder things have happened and not everyone 'smells' of booze when consuming large or constant amounts.

I smoke, so I'm sure that the car and I smell like that. Plus, I gotta be honest, there must be something about the way that I look that keeps me from getting in trouble. A middle-aged, suburban white woman in a Honda just doesn't fit in the stereotypes.

I was pulled over once, going 15 miles over the speed limit. I had just dumped my purse on the passenger seat trying to find something in it...There was a week's worth (A LOT!) of baclofen packages (from overseas) as well as a couple of pill bottles and other random stuff that could have been very troublesome. I didn't even think about it. The officer clearly made note of it, asked me what the medications were for and why I had both an E-cigarette and several packs of cigarettes. I told him I was trying to quit and that the meds were for that. I also told him I was on my way to spend a week with my family and sometimes a girl just needed a cigarette so she didn't kill anyone. He laughed. Gave me a warning. Sent me on my way. If that had been Ed, I guarantee you he would've gotten in big trouble.

Maybe it's because I lie well? But I don't really. I don't know.

It just fucking sucks. But better him than me. I hope that doesn't sound horrible. I am not going to jail. Now or ever. He and I agree, I'm not cut out for that. (I also don't hesitate, usually, to take an uber home. He hates spending the money. Needless to say, this puts THAT bull shit into perspective.)

The sentence will be what it is. I'm just praying to whatever that he doesn't lose his license for a year. That's all I'm asking.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

So I've been spending a lot of time on my own not really working on the forum or communicating with friends online.

Part of it is that I really do have to focus on passing this exam and getting a job and March 1st was my deadline for that. I haven't made much progress, but I have some.

Part of it is the drinking, or the not drinking, or rather both. The naltrexone makes me really, really nauseous. So there have been several days that I just can't really focus on anything. On those days I don't drink. And on some other days, I haven't had anything, or very little, to drink, just because I don't feel like it. Which is heartening.

But then there are the days when I'll down 15 beers and a glass or two of wine. It's inexplicable. I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of talking to my shrink about it, because I just can't nail down what it is that continues this cycle of drinking.

On that note, though, I made a very important discovery. According to some info I found in the book A Prescription for Alcoholics venlafaxine (Effexor), an SNRI, "enhanced the alcohol deprivation effect and led to an increase in drinking lasting at least 5 weeks in research animals."

Guess what I'm taking? Pristiq is actually the newer version of venlafaxine. I've started weaning off of it, but it's at least a 3 week process because, as my pDoc said, I don't want to "destabilize".

It could very well explain why I went so far above my switch dose on baclofen and didn't have any real cessation in drinking. And certainly could explain why my drinking is so up and down now.

Keep crossing your fingers for me, folks. I'll get there soon.

[terryk]

:hug:

I sent you some emails. Hope you feel better soon. Please be careful discontinuing the desvenlafaxine, it has a very short half-life for an AD, and some people find that it takes a long-ish time to taper off.

-tk

[Ne/Neva Eva]

:hug:

I sent you some emails. Hope you feel better soon. Please be careful discontinuing the desvenlafaxine, it has a very short half-life for an AD, and some people find that it takes a long-ish time to taper off.

-tk

Thanks, Tk. I got your email.

I know you mentioned it to me before, but when I saw venlafaxine in black and white in the book, I realized I needed to get off of it.

It's extended release so we decided that I would take it every other day for three weeks and see how I feel at that point. I think she said she thought it lasted for ~36 hours, so no dreadful crashes, hopefully. (IF I can remember to keep taking it regularly. Talk about a pain in the foot. It's easier to remember my bac doses than to try to remember what I took yesterday, for goodness sakes. Anyway.) Maybe then I'll go to every three days or just stop and increase the bupropion or take something else. Or maybe nothing, though I'm really, really scared of getting depressed again.

She's looking into other ADs or other things (like gabapentin [Neurontin]) if I need something else and I'm back on 240mg of bac waiting for the Pristiq to be out of my system.

<sigh>

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Just occurred to me that my life is in limbo on so many fronts that it's almost ironic. The only thing that isn't up in the air right now is our physical address, and frankly, I would LOVE to move. Pretty much since the day we moved in...But that's a whole 'nother story.

And I suppose that Ed's work life is stabilized, and he's really, REALLY happy with work for the first time in a decade or so.

But my life? There's the repercussions of the DUI, which hangs over him, too. I know it's a pathetic thing to bring up, but we can't make plans to go out west this summer until we know what is going to happen, and if we don't do it now...Well, it'll be too expensive.

But that's not the real rub. I have to get a J-O-B. And Stuck and Lis, and anyone else who has recently been in this position, you know how much it sucks. And you guys were already employed and with a decent resume. Mine is a bit of a train wreck. I haven't worked in ~4 years. And it's not like I can put "I spend all my free time talking, writing or studying about alcohol addiction and medications" as a hobby. You know?

I'm just putting this out here to get a little love and support so that tomorrow I can get up and feel better about it. Tell me it'll get better. Please?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

And I can't go to UVA. Which sucks big time. We just can't afford it...

I don't even want to mention it to Ed. But if I am going to stay on track academically, I'd have to take several classes this summer and fall in order to get into UVA next fall and we just won't be able to afford it. Even if it's a "cheap" DUI. It's still going to cost us more than my classes would cost.

How much does that suck?

[Lostinspace]

Ne - I responded to you privately, but just want to show a little love here, too. Things really will be OK eventually. Hang in there :hug:

[dundrinkn]

Hi Ne,
Sorry that things are sucking right now. It will get better. Whenever you feel just a tad bit of energy, jump all over that try and do a few things on your "to do" list. Try and get some momentum going that you can keep building on.

I am trying to do just that -- at work and with the stupid little things that I've let pile up on me over the last few months. I did more today than yesterday. So that's how I'm trying to look at it. Not at all the shit I didn't do... though there is that too.

hang in there.

[Rusty]

NE, I am working right now but I will try and email you later. I have been in your shoes job wise MANY times. It sucks, I know! I am in your corner.

If you have time now, would you mind popping over to The Steppers' Theead? Pauly is drinking..and wants to get really drunk, and she is just so sad. Maybe a word of encouragement from you will help. You are so good at offering support to others..it also helps us forget out own troubles. ;-)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks to all three of you.

Thanks, Lis, for your offline support and the reiteration of it today.

Dun, I did two things yesterday, and more today. Progress!?!? I joined a program at the Y and missed the first day on Monday, but am determined to go tomorrow. And I'm typing again. Which is a huge relief. It's troublesome when I'm not typing, to be honest.

Rusty, I will do that first thing in the morning. Miss you guys.

xo

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Rusty, sorry I didn't get on there last night when it might have been more beneficial. I'll be thinking about Pauly and looking for her to post.

Definitely feeling better than I was last night when I posted. Thanks again, peeps.

So I joined this program at the Y, called Y-change. It's for newbies and all levels and meets 3x/week. And it's free with the membership. One of the days is a lecture day, about food portions and the mechanics of moving and whatever. Very basic stuff, but good to have a reminder (and to remember that I do not, in fact, know it all). The other two are workout days. I got my butt kicked today. It was awesome! Funny thing is, the other three people in the group are either seriously overweight or have some sort of injury and I would normally feel like I was way out of their league. But it was so nice to feel no judgment, have no issues, and just be able to do what I could do. It's been a loooooong time since this chick has exerted herself.

Anyway. Boring stuff, but I'm psyched about it and about the commitment of leaving the house for something other than the grocery store and the shrink. Oh! and my resume is almost done! Woot!

Hope you guys are well.