bac diary

[bleep]

bac diary

seeking_serenity;1048568 wrote: ...

Anyway, that is not a problem anymore. I never, ever talk fast anymore!

I have a job interview tomorrow morning, and I am pretty sure that barring something crazy, I'm going to get this job. I just can't believe my luck lately. This is a year of HUGE changes for me. So happy about how everything is going, I could just cry. :h
I talk quite fast all the time.

I think attitude plays a really important role (not in talking fast!), in outcomes in our life, so well done serenity. It is you that is responsible for the recent happiness in your life.

bleep;1048564 wrote: ...

Thanks for the multiple quote thing, I feel a bit stupid now, it's quite obvious now.

Testing your theory...

[bleep]

bac diary

You're a genius!

[Isolde]

bac diary

bleep;1048573 wrote: You're a genius!

Care to share the geniosity of multi-quoting?

I think I know how it works, but it seems rather... laborious. And I am often lazy.

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

bleep;1048573 wrote: You're a genius!

Thanks :h but nah, it took me a few tries before I figured it out. Huge hugs to you, Ryan. :l

[Isolde]

bac diary

Isolde;1048576 wrote: Care to share the geniosity of multi-quoting?

I think I know how it works, but it seems rather... laborious. And I am often lazy.

Never mind! Just saw serenity's post on it over in your thread.

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

Isolde;1048576 wrote: Care to share the geniosity of multi-quoting?

I think I know how it works, but it seems rather... laborious. And I am often lazy.

Isolde, open up the thread into a new tab. I post from the "old" tab while going to the new one, grabbing quotes and then copying/pasting them into my post. Does that make sense? :h

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

D'oh! Sorry for posting it again!

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

...and I got hired for a new job today! I'm SO excited about this. I've hated every job I've had for the last 7 years, and I've also been miserable, underemployed and underpaid. My life is changing so fast! I can attest that my life began changing in mid-November, when I heard about baclofen and did a quick google search that just floored me. I found out about Dr. Ameisen and MWO around the same time. Everything in my life is changing so fast!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

bac diary

That's so fantastic, Sere. In spite of my depressing tome on my thread, I too have had really, really good things happen because of this journey.
I'm sure that when I wake up (pre-dawn of course) I'll have my happy bac on.
YAY about the job!!!
:h:

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

neva eva;1049184 wrote: That's so fantastic, Sere. In spite of my depressing tome on my thread, I too have had really, really good things happen because of this journey.
I'm sure that when I wake up (pre-dawn of course) I'll have my happy bac on.
YAY about the job!!!
:h:

Thanks, NE! :h The Bac does cause some bad SEs (nausea and weird/frustrating/bad dreams have been the worst of them for me), but for the most part has been really good to me. I've been on my second beer for two hours tonight...

Don't be discouraged. Maybe it's a good idea to try the AL-free thing for a few days? Maybe white-knuckling for a couple of days will help you out. I don't know though. You just seem so frustrated, and there's got to be a way of getting to your switch at the high doses you're on? In any event, try not to be hard on yourself. Rewiring your whole reward system in your brain can be a long, drawn-out process. It's hard to know if/when it works. KOKO, etc.:l

For me, a few recent SE's that are downright bizarre: last night's sleep was tortuous. Major libido dreams (v. frustrated in that department as I'm single). Lots of very boring dreams about sewing, which was especially weird since I don't sew! And one dream in which I woke up with a raw outer ear. I'd been dreaming that I had head lice, and I apparently tried to claw the lice out of my ear. Very strange. Plus I stayed in a weird dream/sleep stage all night, waking up and falling back asleep. The sewing dreams were SO boring, and yet I couldn't let go of some dumb concept!

I had a job interview today, which (per my thoughts on the Bac & Emotions thread), led me to feeling nauseated and lacking in appetite all day. I decreased my morning dose by half, thinking that it would be best not to go in all "stoned," but I also didn't want to be freaking out anxiety-wise from skipping a full dose. Anyway, all day I've felt "off" and nauseated. Just one little thing to get through, I guess. I'd like to get some sort of med to help me sleep (I'm thinking Seroquel or Trazodone, which have helped me in the past). I'm afraid of benzos or Ambien, because the last thing I need is another addiction. But the sleep stuff truly sucks.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

bac diary

seeking_serenity;1049187 wrote: Maybe it's a good idea to try the AL-free thing for a few days? Maybe white-knuckling for a couple of days will help you out. I don't know though.

hmmm. Think about that for a minute, will you? Sipping your second beer for the last couple of hours? just sayin' :H

The ear thing? I have woken up with my upper ear on fire. I slept on it, I suppose. Because when I'm out, I'm out! Still wake up when disturbed, it's not like sleep meds in that way, ya' know? I'm not at all worried about sleeping through an emergency, which was a huge fear when I was drinking heavily.
The libido thing, in retrospect (sort of, it's still there a bit) is pretty funny.
Actually, it's really funny. But that's a whole 'nother thread. One labelled 'not for the faint of heart'.
On that note, I'm out! Can't wait to pretend to read and get a whole 4 hours of sleep!
g'night!

[seeking_serenity]

bac diary

neva eva;1049191 wrote: hmmm. Think about that for a minute, will you? Sipping your second beer for the last couple of hours? just sayin' :H

Oh, I KNOW! :H It's so dumb and silly that I'm still drinking when it makes me so sick! I just suggested that because you seem so frustrated. I'm not feeling that way at the moment. I just wish there was some way I could help you get through this last hurdle! :h

I HATE the sexual frustration part, but I'll live. :H I was actually dreaming about going to the bar at last call to pick up strange men. And about considering putting up a Craigslist ad. What has this world come to? What a funny SE.

[bleep]

bac diary

Well done on the job front seeking, great news! Even if you were an avid sewer (that can't be right, can it), I'm sure a sewing dream is dull. I found it hilarious!

I've been prescribed amitryptiline for sleep, which I believe is a tranquilizer. I don't know much about it, since I took it once and woke up muffed the next day, and haven't taken it since. Definitely made me sleep though! I am told that not everyone gets that feeling from it, and looking back it was perhaps more a hangover than anything else that I was feeling.

I'm with you on the sexual frustration front, and so is Mrs Bleep! Just can't get things together for the first time in my life. Can't wait to put this SE to bed!

[Isolde]

bac diary

Serenity, congrats on the new job!!! :goodjob: That is awesome news, I'm very happy for you.

Bac has been the precursor to a lot of positive changes in my life as well. I'm in a job I'm not crazy about, but I don't hate it and it's stable with good benefits and flexibility. In this shitty economy, I'm grateful to have it.

The sewing dream is hilarious!!! :H
Of all things to get stuck dreaming about! I've had a lot of very strange/interesting dreams myself. I don't always remember them as well when I wake up in the morning, but if I happen to wake up during it, I am amazed as I think back over them about the amount of intricate detail and just about how off the wall and interesting they are! Some of them have been really cool.

My libido's back up too, since I started titrating up again. I'm single too, Serenity, but like Rusty said, I have hands (among other things)! :H But I find that it's a bit like having a glass of wine these days - anti climactic. It happens, but in a barely perceptible way. :sofa: And like with AL, I find myself thinking, "Why bother?!"

[Ne/Neva Eva]

bac diary

hmmm.
I woke up this morning after many hours of interrupted sleep. I was laying on my arm, again, and my ear was burning. I thought of you, started a conversation with you about it, then realized the ear that was hurting was not the one I was sleeping on!
I continued the conversation, filling in your part of it in my dream/wake state. And then realized that I was not really typing/reading! AHA! So the dissociation returned a bit last night.
I vaguely remember waking up at the predictable times (midnight, but I dreamed that I was looking at the clock and I was so relieved that it said 330am. Then woke enough to look at the clock and it was only midnight. bummer.)
I woke again at 330am, then again to start the day at 530am. If I hadn't stayed in bed and talked myself back into sleep, I could've gotten up at any point. I ended up getting 7.5 hours of very disrupted sleep.
The sexual frustration thing? :H I seriously think we could create the most popular MWO thread ever if we wanted to! With lots of innuendo and and of course.
I have had the experience of not being able to reach a conclusion... And also, much more have found that bac not only increases the urge, it has also made fulfillment that much more, um, gratifying. Have you seen the SITC episode when Charlotte (? I think) got a new, um, toy and they couldn't get her out of her apt? I can relate... 'nuf said?

I wish that my dreams were centered around something as banal as sewing. I'll try to think about something like that tonight before I sleep, instead of creating conversations in my mind. They're very confusing. (and I too think I can control them somewhat. I think grommet and bleep mentioned that.)
Good productive day to you! The new job starts tomorrow?
woohoo!
How's the dog?
xo,
k