Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Hello Folks. Just when you thought this depressing thread was done with I'm resurrecting it.

Back from the beach a couple of days ago.

Lot of opportunities to drink, like when I had eventually arrived after a 9 hours car journey with 3 younguns.
Installed in hotel, kids had had their first dip in the sea and we were eating prawns.
It was dusk, mission accomplished.
My time.
What do you do apres swim? I kept on thinking about how getting mellow on a few drinks would be so perfect. Actually resisting it wasn't that hard just interesting!

Startin your last post through me a bit with the xx thrown in there. Had it in my mind that you were a bloke but a little research later I found one of your posts where you mention a Mr Starts so xx back! Unless your a liberated married gay couple. Oh what the heck........... xx. Tried to let it all wash over me but there are so many things I'm either planning on controlling or regretting I didn't control enough earlier. Its tough.

And how the fuck am I going to sort out the world economy and the human race's misguided belief in money as the saviour. I mean someone's got to do it right, for the next generations. Fuck big job, where to start.

All in all a good trip but sobriety still sucks.

[startingover]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Iggy Pop its good to see you.
Yes I am a female, guess it was the Yfronts that threw you.
Well done having a good trip and not drinking.
You say sobriety still sucks. But this is what I see
I see a man who is less defensive, one who is willing to work towards a new life even though there are difficulties, one who is prepared to ask for help and to use resources to make things easier.
I see someone who is growing
Its nice

[tiptronic_ct]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

What the squirrel said.

And no comments on the y-fronts. She got them from me

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

I think it was my awe that anyone could do Al and Nic and the level headed advice that threw me. Sorry to say I think I may be a mysogynist into the bargain. I'm going to lay that at my mother's door as well!

It sucks, which is to say my life isn't all roses yet but I know I like the absence of the excruciating self loathing sessions which became almost as regular as morning coffee. Its better here but it is 24/7

I'm still at a loss with what I should be doing with myself now that the Bac has done its bit. Can't seem to find focus. So much to do, don't know where to start type of deal. I know, poor me, every one goes through it. I looked at an article that Choochie posted a link to, think it was title PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) quite interesting. Didn't really open the floodgates but 6 months seems to come up regularly in recovery stories.

Glad you think I'm less defensive, I feel more so but maybe that's because I can see it now. And I must admit I am sceptical about posting but I have another angel pushing me in the right direction!

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Hi Tip
Tried to buy your pills but sold out. Libido WTF is that?

[Guitarista]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Great stuff Iggy!

Keep it going. The sober life get's better and better, but we've got to work it. Gratitude over deprivation thinking is good to keep in mind.

Best wishes for the new year!

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Thanks for the thumbs up Mr G. Best to you and all members of MWO for the New Year.

[Isolde]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Glad to see you back, Ig! It was getting a little too quiet around here without you!
I know what you mean about the thought that having a drink or 2 might be nice. And I know that if I chose to, I could stop at that (as I did over Christmas). But it feels like an accomplishment to be able to say, "Yeah, I could and I'd be ok... but I'll pass."
Sorry that you are feeling that sobriety is sucking for you right now. But is it really sobriety? The not being able to numb everything out? Or is it just current circumstances? If that's the case, then it's not really sobriety that sucks. And you know you're in a much better position to deal with changing things that need to be changed and accepting those things that can't (yeah yeah, the serenity prayer, but it was fitting here).

I'm still unsure if I'll allow myself a drink tonight or not. Last night I thought about having some leftover alcoholic egg nog, or a glass of Scotch. But realized I didn't really want it. I was just annoyed at a computer issue I was having and wanted to soothe myself. So I skipped it. Told myself I could have a glass of Scotch tonight if I really wanted. I didn't tell my family NOT to buy me alcohol for Christmas (but I certainly didn't ask for it), and got a few bottles of really good Scotch which will last me a REALLY long time. It's nice to know that I can have just one glass and stop there and be totally fine.
But Scotch or not tonight, I am skipping New Year's. I've never liked this holiday. It always felt like a let down. So after work I'm going to go for a run, take a long hot soak in the tub, and then watch a bunch of True Blood episodes (HBO series about vampires) that I've recorded. Yay! I'll most likely be asleep before 12.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Yo Is

Your right life sucks atm and I'm noticing it more because I'm sober.

Vampires suck and so does that series if I recall correctly. You're right again, you probably will be asleep before 12, don't think I could watch it sober. Love angst if I'm right. Sort of substituting vampires for the Capulets.
Think I've got better NYE viewing than you. Going to watch my daughters new video. Justin Bieber doing his laundry.

Is it left to me alone to fix the world!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

That's so fantastic Is, as is your update on your post.
Had to chime in...
Love all things vampire. lol. and angst-y. shocker there, I know. Definitely better than Justin Beiber. omg, that is my own personal hell.

Not alone ig. (talk about angst!) There's a whole community here doing and feeling just what you are. And you get to wake up without a hangover. 2011, sober! Some mercies are not so small.

:l to you both and everyone else, too.

[Isolde]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

ignominous;1031851 wrote: Think I've got better NYE viewing than you. Going to watch my daughters new video. Justin Bieber doing his laundry.

:H

This'll be me instead!!
:bath2:

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

lol Is and Justin frightens me.

2001 here

This is my year

Best to all

[startingover]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Happy New Year Bac Babes
May 2011 be fantastic for you all :l

[ignominous]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Just an update.

Feel like I should be posting more often. You know, putting some back into the forum from which I got so much out. But somehow it seems inappropriate or I feel less sure about what I want to say. I'm sure this is also a reflection of the amount of Bac that I'm taking. For me Bac was immensely liberating. To say that it it boosted my confidence or reduced my anxiety is strange to me as I don't understand those terms clearly. Today is the first day on a dose of 120mg.

Baclofen indisputably did the job I asked of it. I lost interest in alcohol and was able to go hour by hour without thinking of when the next opportunity to drink would be. Since tapering down I have had more of my underlying dysphoria return. This in turn has triggered me think about having a drink more often but I distinguish this from a return of the alcoholic cravings that were irresistible. Now with the use of good sense I choose not to indulge and my mind and body follow that decision.

The return of the dysphoria is sad. Before Baclofen I really had no idea that I had any! I just assumed this was the human condition and I had to shape up! The very fact that Bac scored such a direct hit on my psyche has convinced me, for the first time in my life, to consider taking another medication for the dysphoria.

In my life I have had a strict policy of not putting unwanted or non essential chemicals into my body. Myself and my family seem to survive very well and strive without the plethora of antibiotics, painkillers and anti histamines that our Doctors recommend. I stand by this statement even though my history with recreational drugs would suggest otherwise. I would put these into the category that I considered essential.

It may be that in the final analysis, the best course of action will be to maintain at a higher dose of Bac. However I feel that there maybe some drug out there that will pinpoint my general dysphoria more accurately. I apologize for the length of this. But I value the diversity of advice that I get here and if any of you have any ideas or suggestions I would be very interested to here them.

[Dabhar]

Sobriety. From one who knows. A sober point of view.

Ig, I hear ya on the dysphoria problem. Many, perhaps most, alcoholics drink for that very purpose, to self-medicate themselves with alcohol in order to relieve things like dysphoria. At an AA meeting I was even more depressed when someone said, "Our alcoholism is only a SYMPTOM of much larger underlying problems, which when we sober up, we have to deal with, or else abstinence will be impossible".

Thank God we have Bac, which makes abstinence a real possibility regardless, but we are still left having to deal with the reasons why we drank in the first place. I think Dysphoria is yet another SYMPTOM pointing to our need to still address areas of our life that need to be changed. And THAT's when medication can be helpful.

I recall my doctor telling me years ago when he was treating my chronic life-time dysphoria with anti-depressants, "These medications can give you relief for a time so that you are free to make the changes in your life that you need to make in order to relieve or perhaps eliminate your depression".

Dysphoria is a horrible feeling. But there are some who suggest that if you are AWAKE and aware of the true nature of Life, feeling dysphoric is NORMAL! When we are sober, we are clear headed and sensitive to life as it is. THAT's the "medication" of life, which "enables" us to make the changes in our lives or the lives of others for the better.

That said, the dysphoria can be over-whelming, so a medication to help to relieve it can be of value. I take "Remeron" (Mirtazapine) these days for mine. It helps to relieve the dysphoria and also helps tremendously with my sleep. So perhaps look into something like that.

Good luck and "KOKO"...your Baclofen journey.
Dab