My Bac Adventure

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Rudy, the socks on the boots sounds like a great idea - thanks! An acquaitiance of mine is a neurologist who recently took up figure skating. He claims that learning to skate at middle age is proven to significantly increase brain function. From what I've seen though, I'm pretty sure learning to play hockey at middle age decreases brain function :H

And the mouthguard thing - Oh Boy! My son is 10 and he is not old enough to check, but his league is still very intense and he refuses to have his mouthguard in. They are required equipment but his neandrethal coaches won't enforce it because they are "old school"- a big problem for me. Its not he dental bills I'm worried about, its the concussions.

Bruun, I hope you weren't projecting a hatred for women on my part due to the cat thing. In fact, I love and respect women. And I REALLY love and respect women when I'm titrating up on Bac - young, old, skinny, "healthy", they are all beautiful and interesting in their own way...:h

[RudyB]

My Bac Adventure

i'm pretty sure that any exercise increases brain function, at any age!

i hope those barbaric coaches at least make them wear helmets! concussions are big in the news lately, and they are no joke!!! (and often missed as such.)

i like cats when they are independent (too close and they make me itchy), and when they kill mice.

[Bruunhilde]

My Bac Adventure

Grommet;1228364 wrote:

Bruun, I hope you weren't projecting a hatred for women on my part due to the cat thing. In fact, I love and respect women. And I REALLY love and respect women when I'm titrating up on Bac - young, old, skinny, "healthy", they are all beautiful and interesting in their own way...:h

Not at all. Just blathering on about a personal theory long held. So do you admit to liking that cat you were determined not to like, after all? I'm dying to know ...

Agreed on the helmets, I've had several concussions and I've read they can have long term effects.

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Yes Bruun, I do admit to liking the cat, which I was determined to hate very since we got the little rodent from the shelter. Cats are funny this way - they tend to gravitate towards the family member that likes them the least. Now he is my sidekick.

There was a 10 year study released recently documenting the beneficial health effects of a pussy (just stop right there you pervs - it was an Australian press release, and that's the term they used)

Here are some highlights:

"It is believed the act of stroking a pussy reduces stress and lowers the heart rate and blood pressure."

"The fact that pussies love to sit quietly and be stroked may be an important factor."

"Stroking a pussy is known to reduce stress levels and this may be what has a positive effect on heart rate and blood pressure."

"A decade-long study shows pussies can actually lower a human's risk of heart attack by a third."

Just 20 more hours and its all over - except for the kids fighting over the toys, which will start in about 27 hours and last for another 100...

Merry Christmas everyone!

[Bruunhilde]

My Bac Adventure

Note that cats will also gravitate towards the warmest lap in the house regardless of the lap's appetite for cats. May your lap be warm and have a large appetite.

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Aw Bruun, that is a zen worthy quote. Well done! And as always, thanks.

As a side note, things are finally settling in. No more bitching and moaning about how things "were before". Its working now and I'm getting close. Seems weird that I'm posting here on Xmas eve, but the kids are tucked in, I'm sober, and this forum is my happy place.

Going to watch a half hour more of Its a Wonderful Life, then hit the hay and wake up without hangover.

Not the earth shattering success, but it is still good.

Wishing you all the best.

[Bruunhilde]

My Bac Adventure

Merry merry, Grommet!

Its never as good as the first time, is it?

I am having a similar holiday, success-wise. I'm not indifferent but the bottle holds over on me much less, and I'm much happier this year than in past, as a result. Its much more peaceful, this way. Although I am getting my ususal angst about today, but I can't slip a xanax in before I get behind the wheel for a long drive. I can, however, have it as soon as I put the car in park 100 miles hence.

Wishing you and anyone out there reading this, the very best. It CAN get better for all of us, including you.

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Things have been really tough lately. The Holiday season went good, then I had to let 2 employees go last week (not from 1000 to 998 employees, but from 6 to 4). It is just crushing me. My accountant was screaming at me to do it in the 2011 tax year, but I just couldn't around the holidays.

So I've been at 250 mg for a while. I was getting close, now things have regressed big time. The stress is overbearing, and I'm starting to freak out a bit.

Never in my life have I had panic attacks. Twice in the last 4 nights I have awoken at around 2:00 am with severe panic attacks. What is troubling is I am panicking over whether Bac is going to work this time around, like it did last time. It has to. It just HAS to or I am out of options.

I'm going up to 275 tomorrow.

edit: Today I placed an order with River for 20,000 mg (you read that right). As they say in poker, I am pot committed. btw I do have a dialogue with Dr L, but the Loresel from River agrees with me much more than the Walgreen's Teva.

[Cassander]

My Bac Adventure

Hey Grommet

We haven't corresponded in the past but I have been rooting for you from the sidelines. (I'm a hockey dad, too).

I hear you about letting your employees go. The truth is this recession isn't nearly over and there is still some real pain to come.

But, having said that, you can't dwell on the past or worry too much about the future. One day at a time. In the moment. Do the best you can. Things will work out.

And bac works. You are on the right track.

Cass

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Bac Adventure

Grommet, I'm really, really sorry. And thanks for not letting them go last month. I know that must've hurt, but it's a really nice thing that you did. Amazing really. 3 of my husband's former employees were let go the week before Christmas. It was devastating. And there was nothing he could do, which made him feel terrible...It's such a tough time, as Cass said, even now.

As to the panic attacks, I'll take my full response offline. BUT please know, absolutely KNOW for sure, that this works. Bac works. You will wake up one day and decide that you don't think you need a drink and then that part of life will be over and you will move on. Period.

Going up by 25mg is a big jump right now when you're already stressed. It might help, too. Who knows? I know that there were many times, on the way up and down, that one level didn't work for me. Going up/down really helped.

And I will suggest this unequivocally: Ya' gotta get some good sleep. Insomnia and panic in the middle of the night perpetuates itself. How can you do that?

[bleep]

My Bac Adventure

For sure, you can't fold now. But you've got a good hand, and your adversary has been involved in similar stare-downs across the felt in the past, and his hand has crumbled. I don't see why it won't this time as well.

I thought you were really close last time, just before you had to stop. It'll be soon I reckon.

Nobody ever folded their way to the World Series Bracelet!

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Cass - "dwelling on the past and worrying about the future" - amen brother. It seems like I've been spending 20 hours a day on just that lately. You're right - in the moment.

Ne - yes, sleep is key right now. Insomnia has been a major problem this go around. I had a pretty good 7 hours last night and feel much better today. Also, I may re-think going up to 275 today. Maybe just stay a 250 for a few more days until I get things sorted out.

Bleep - thanks for the words of encouragement. I know it works from last time, and I fully intend to stay the course.

[Bruunhilde]

My Bac Adventure

Hi Grommet,

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. As one who was let go before Thanksgiving two years in a row by the same bank, I have to agree with the others, what you did was wonderful and obviously a huge sacrifice. So don't focus on the guilt, focus on the strength and loyalty you showed.

I read somewhere that we spend 80% of our worrying on the future and much that we worry about never happens. I struggle with anxiety and panic and gloom/doom, so I have to remind myself of this daily. I hope it helps you too.

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Thanks Bruun, and everyone else.

I was hesitant to even make that post last night, but knew I'd feel better if I did

Still hurting bad though. A small company really does feel like family - just wish it wasn't overused as a marketing tag line.

Just got of the phone with the good Dr L. and we're getting things sorted out. He actually thinks I'm close. I made a quick joke about "the last kicks of a dieing horse", but he didn't get it....

[Grommet]

My Bac Adventure

Ne, if you're out there, I had just finished a nice PM about the recommendation you provided, hit send, then your mailbox was full - aargh! You must be popular young lady...

No worries, I'll keep this cryptic. You were spot on. Mrs G had a script from about 6 mos ago that she never took. Rooted through the drawer and found them. Popped one last night, had a great night's sleep. Popped one in the am and had the best day in weeks. For the first time in a long time I'm actually looking forward to going to bed tonight (i am NOT talking about Viagra).

Thanks!