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    I am a trainwreck!

    Please do, and report back.
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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      I am a trainwreck!

      Maybe I misunderstood him or remember the conversation wrong....chances are I was drinking when I talked to him! lol!!

      I will call him tomorrow night!
      "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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        I am a trainwreck!

        Taw, I'm so glad to hear you're AF, zowee. I'm sorry I haven't kept up with your progress, but is it true you're getting AF on bac, and how are your SEs, did you get done with the barfing up? It sounds like you're doing well? I'm so happy to hear it, the AF place is a miracle.

        Redhead, I know this isn't your thread but since you're here and sharing, are you also AF on bac? I know about your job situation etc, and I'm sorry about that all, I hope it's very temporary. What happened to that other job you were to start a week ago or whenever? Did you decide to wait longer before restarting work so you could conquer AL?

        Hugs and love to you both! :l

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          I am a trainwreck!

          I did not stay AF....but started way later in the day than I would have!! Guess that is a start.....
          "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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            I am a trainwreck!

            Bruun,

            I am not 100% AF on bac. I drink occasionally. A drink or two. It would be considered moderate. They didn't tell me until I interviewed, but the other job required rotating holidays, in the office. It was a work from home job, but I had to go into the office every other weekend and holiday to run it. I had to kind of manage the healthcare workers in the field. Make their assignments, handle calls from patients and docs. This is my ultimate dilemma. I don't have childcare on weekends, but especially holidays. It makes finding a job in my craft difficult.

            Sorry again taw.
            This Princess Saved Herself

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              I am a trainwreck!

              Never apologize, Red!!! We are here for each other....

              How much bac were you on when you found yourself modding like that?
              "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                I am a trainwreck!

                How old are your kids, Red? Are you near a college? What about posting an ad for a babysitter?

                I am in the Western Suburbs if I can ever help you!
                "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                  I am a trainwreck!

                  So I am up to 175mg...I started yesterday keeping track of number of glasses of wine...I hear that works when you are trying to lose weight....maybe if I see it everyday it will remind me to cut down...I am however smoking ALOT more! I do find myself telling myself more often thru out the day that I don't want to drink today instead of constantly planning how or when I will drink...maybe a small step in the right direction!

                  Sleep and breathing are still issues but not intolerable yet! The hand twitching however is anohter story...I spilled my water 3 times trying to drink it! All in all, nothing bad enough to make me stop...in it for the long haul this time!!
                  "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                    I am a trainwreck!

                    redhead77;1115311 wrote: Bruun,

                    I am not 100% AF on bac. I drink occasionally. A drink or two. It would be considered moderate. They didn't tell me until I interviewed, but the other job required rotating holidays, in the office. It was a work from home job, but I had to go into the office every other weekend and holiday to run it. I had to kind of manage the healthcare workers in the field. Make their assignments, handle calls from patients and docs. This is my ultimate dilemma. I don't have childcare on weekends, but especially holidays. It makes finding a job in my craft difficult.

                    Sorry again taw.
                    This will sound stupid, but isn't there somewhere you could work that would be attached to a school or something?So the holidays might line up?

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                      I am a trainwreck!

                      The hand-twitches are irritating, there's no doubt!

                      It sounds like its going well Taw. I found my smoking went through the roof. The good news though, is that if you decide to quit, it makes it a little easier. I didn't even consider that on the way up though, one thing at a time!

                      I found indifference to be the end of plans. One day it just won't occur to you to drink. How fast are you going up?

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                        I am a trainwreck!

                        Bleep, probably too fast....up 25 mg every couple days....I am over anxious....had to go back down from 175 to 150 for a few days due to SE's....the breathing thing is getting to me....especially at night...seems to be better this time at 175....
                        "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                          I am a trainwreck!

                          Hey girlie,

                          I thought I hit my switch right around where you are (were). I was on 180, and noticed big changes. I talked to my doc about it, but it wasn't quite the switch. I hit the switch at 200mg/day. You have the side effect of your hands shaking? Is it the bac or alcohol withdrawal? That's a horrible SE. It must make working in what you do very difficult.

                          My kids are 2, 6, and 9. I'm going to try to find some live in help for the summer. I have an extra bedroom, so it could be put to use. The question is, can I find affordable live in help? Maybe I could find a college student or something, who needs a summer job. I'm going to put some ads out.

                          Taw, it sounds like were neighbors.

                          UK, it doesn't sound stupid. There are people in my profession who work in schools. They make crap. The pay is probably half of what you get in a hospital. Thanks for thinking of me.
                          This Princess Saved Herself

                          Comment


                            I am a trainwreck!

                            Hiya Taw!

                            Last I remember seeing you were on 175mg. How goes it, my friend?

                            :h
                            Ne

                            Comment


                              I am a trainwreck!

                              I am up to 200...going to 225 tomorrow...did fairly well this weekend, well Friday and Saturday anyway...yesterday was back to my old tricks!

                              SE's are tolerable, I go a few nights without sleeping then am finally so tired I get some sleep. I am forgetting EVERYTHING!!! it is like a black out without the drunk! hopefully that will pass too!
                              "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                                I am a trainwreck!

                                Taw,

                                I hope you're ok. Send me a PM when you get the chance.

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