I am a trainwreck!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Just took my first Antabuse! Nervous, scared, excited...no turning back now!!! Could not have come at a more perfect time! Am crawling out of my skin here sitting around with my sick son when I heard the mailman and there it was....popped one before I could think twice so I did not run to the package store!

Onward and upward!!!

[spacebebe01]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi taw sorry i havent been back here yesterday but am excited for you to hear all that youve been doing, Im not sure of the situation with your son, who does he live with? but its fantstic that he was with you and you were sober it really is, even if he was ill, I hope he gets better soon, I am guessing that someone here sent you some antabuse, I take it and find it wonderful, I can get AF days without the headwreck of thinking about the fact that I might drink again, I know I cant, still get cravings tho but I think the bac and campral are helping with them, they are not as bad as a couple of weeks ago.

You are on a roll now taw keep it going:h

[spacebebe01]

I am a trainwreck!

I like your monkey with the googly eyes hes cute

[RudyB]

I am a trainwreck!

good goin', taw. i know how it is to have crawling skin and too much time under the roof with a child, so you're strong, woman! so good to see things turning around for you!

xo rudy

[Doggygirl]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi taw. I'm remembering the early days of being AF and climbing the walls and feeling so horrible and lost. But you know what? It eventually got better. I truly believe it will be that way for you too. It will be really hard at first but YOU CAN DO IT. Heck, look at all the bullshit we manage to survive while drinking and holding our lives together! We are tough!!!!!

I'm so happy you just popped the pill. Antabuse has been a great tool for so many people - I hope it's a great tool for you too.

DG

[redhead77]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw, Taw, Taw!!

Firstly, Happy Thanksgiving! I know you're home with your son, so you couldn't go anywhere. Were you able to have have some turkey somehow today? I didn't. I just got done working 12 hours. It didn't quite feel like Thanksgiving for me, but I know it really doesn't for the people I take care of. Maybe I brightened their day a little. We did bring appetizers to pass and it turned into a decent day. How was your day?

I am so happy to hear about you taking the antabuse. I also hope your son is starting to get better. Is he? It's really tough to take care of ourselves when we have to nurse a sick child.

I'm contemplating packing us up, and heading up to my brother's tomorrow. I will have 4 days off, if I don't pick up Saturday. My brother battles the drink as well, and has told me he's doing just fine, but this will allow me to check on him and make sure. I could cook us a Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, we all missed it including my kids. I can also surprise my grandparents with a visit. While they are still healthy at their ages...well, time is precious and I absolutely adore them. We are close and they've had a stong and positive impact on my life. I think I'm convincing myself here. The drive aside, there are only positives.

I will still be around. I'll have my phone with me to check in here, and well, I'll have my phone with me.

Much love, Taw. :l

Redhead

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Day 5 AF!!!! Turns out I missed LOTS of drama at Thanksgiving yesterday...phew! Could not have handled that...everyone was drunk and got into a big Irish holiday fight! Ah, the holidays!!

On the happier side, my son did not have mono, just a virus, still sick but MUCH better. He went to his dads last night and I am back at work...out of the house!!

Funny thing about the antabuse...as soon as I took it, my cravings increased tenfold...like when you get on a plane, and you know you can't smoke for a few hours, and ALL you want is a cigarette, no matter how many you chain smoked up until that point....Just took my third one...so no questions about trying to drink!!!

I cannot tell you all how thankful I am to have you in my life, here for me, no questions asked!!!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Ok, my mom's first and only question about Dr. A's book..."Why did he bother going to rehab if he wasn't going to do what he was supposed to?"

She'll never get it! But at least she tried to read it...said she was too frustrated and could not finish it!

[spacebebe01]

I am a trainwreck!

I still think its massive that your mum even started reading the book, mine wouldnt even toutch a book on recovery, I think shed worry that someone would come in and see her or something. Your doing great taw, are you still taking the antabuse.

[RingingCedars]

I am a trainwreck!

Love ya Taw! You are on to it! Keep it up! xo

[redhead77]

I am a trainwreck!

Mornin' Taw! (for us)

Five days AF is no joke. I agree with all the other fine folks here: you are doing very well. In regard to you mother's response to you, many people don't think that substance abuse disorders are a disease. And in her case she may be operating on fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of her daughter taking HDB (a method of alcohol treatment that hasn't been studied.) Maybe she wishes rehab were the answer. It's good people like us, people with no 'real life' support for HDB have this forum.

I've gone home indifferent. This would be the first ever. I'm hoping this might rub off on the one who needs it. It's certainly noticeable.

I think many of us are as thankful that you are here with us, as you are for us. I know I am!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

Well said, Red.
I'm glad you're here, too, taw. Very glad for your company.
I'm also thrilled that you've got 5 days under your belt.
I try not to do the rethink-the-past thing, but let me tell you. If I had known how good it was to be free I would've been swallowing antabuse. I was way too scared back then.
I hope you're proud of yourself and feeling good about your decisions.

[RudyB]

I am a trainwreck!

sounds like you're doing great, taw. hooray! i remember times of huge struggle you've gone through, and i know it must be such a relief to be pulling through to the other side. good job!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

Morning, taw! How was the weekend?

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Hey all!! Day 8 AF!!! Weekend was SOBER but not without struggle! Cravings kicked in big time...as they always do on the weekends...boring, dreary, cold, rainy, but popped an antabuse and some extra bac and made it thru.

I kind of feel like I am taking the easy way out with the Antabuse tho. Like I should be able to do this with just the bac, or nothing, but it is helping me get some good AF time in.

My AL brain is definitley working overtime. It keeps telling me that I deserve a reward for going this long with a drink, take some time off from Antabuse and see if I can drink normal...I just take some more pills to answer that!!


Have a good day everyone!!