I am a trainwreck!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

How are things for you guys, Ally? tough start to 2011, but have things calmed down?

There is someone (paul) who had a similar bac experience as your husband on the bac daily and other threads, looking for advice about tapering...
Take care.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

ss....sorry I forgot I posted that...not due to bac....I am on day three of 10 mg...gonna up tomorrow to 20mg...

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Bleep, are you talking about the Peter Gabriel song?

[bleep69]

I am a trainwreck!

Not sure taw, it's the one playing at the very start of that radio clip.

While we're talking about songs, I just Leonard Cohen singing, and the line was perfect for my baclofen ride...

"I fought against the bottle, but I had to do it drunk" which is exactly how I'm planning on beating this!

How's your baclofen ride coming along so far?

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Are the lyrics of the song "Don't give up cause you have hope"? That is Peter Gabriel...one of my favorites! It is on the album "So"...

My bac ride has been good so far...day 4...going to bump up to 20 mg today...

How's yours going?

[Lowcountryman]

I am a trainwreck!

Peter G is having an intens four-minute hug with the beautiful and young Kate Bush. Only for that, I wish I'd written and performed the song.

Willie Nelson and Sinead O'Connor covered the same song as a duet. No hugging there. Little more real.

[bleep69]

I am a trainwreck!

Ah, cool, thanks Low / taw. Strange, I don't really like PG, but that song was pretty cool. Willie Nelson rocks, will have to track it down...

[AllyB]

I am a trainwreck!

neva eva;1038079 wrote: How are things for you guys, Ally? tough start to 2011, but have things calmed down?

Still a bit rollercoastery, tbh. Nothing too AL related, it's just a bit like the world at large is still kicking us a bit. My family is all still having a bit of a delayed shock reaction to my uncle dying, thankfully my grandmother's been coping better than we thought she would. And I'm feeling massive regret that I never got to talk to him about baclofen and at least give him the option of trying it. I'm also feeling very angry about the utterly inadequate care given to addicts by the health services. I've witnessed it first hand when attending appointments with my husband and I've found most doctors to be really quick to pass people who come to them with serious addictions, usually at the stage of clear physical dependence, off to rehabs, without having the first clue about what happens in them, or how poor their recovery rates are.

Other than that we're now both insomniac, which is a barrel of laughs. For me it's my own fault as I took OTC sleeping tablets for about 10 days after my uncle died and my brain is now taking a loooong time to switch off at night without them. With Longshot, it's a bac/stress combo. He's finished his job now which on the one hand is great as he's no longer working stupid, stupid hours. But on the other hand he's now stressed about what comes next. He's got a couple of jobs that he's interviewed for and is now playing the waiting game, which is nerve-racking and stressful all by itself.

It's not as bad as I'm making things sound, though. At least with the bac he has a great chance of pulling out of this slump. We both just need a bit more sleep.

Btw, I love your av. I adore She-Ra, when I was little she was who I wanted to be when I grew up. I have all the series dvds and a home made She-Ra costume (it was for a fancy dress wedding).

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

Ally, I'd love to see the She-ra costume! HA! That's awesome. I've been waiting to pull her out of hiding... I hope she's here to stay. At least for a while. Life does get in the way.
As you know. I have no basis for this thought, but I swear that I think the sleep disruption is a huge issue when dealing with high-dose bac. A lot of the SEs could be attributed to that alone. I feel for you. Both of you. And your extended family. What a lousy, lousy place. It really is heart-breaking that so many of us suffer and die in silence. so sad.
But it's also amazing that you're both working together to find a solution. I envy you that. And you'll pull through and spread the word. Look at the sea-change here, at MWO. It's incredible!
Best to you both!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I am back to being a trainwreck...what the hell is wrong with me? Stopped bac because the SE's were awful.....cannot stop drinking....starting bac again today...will go home tonight and dump everything out!

I NEED TO GET THIS RIGHT!!!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

missed you taw.
There are other things you can do too...
Meet bruun and DG.
And know that we're here with you every step, okay?
One step at a time... fer real fer real.

Sorry you feel so awful. ugh.
Find Murphy's thread. It's feckin funny.
xxoo

No right or wrong, btw. Just not giving up the fight is the right.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I feel like such a failure!!! why is this so hard???? God, I hate myself right now!!!

[tiptronic_ct]

I am a trainwreck!

Hiya, taw

Very glad you came back.

The feelings you're experiencing are normal. I can recall the self-loathing as if it was yesterday.

But with the right plan and approach, you also know that it doesn't have to be this way. Hang in there!

[Seethepony]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw, sorry you're having such a rotten time. I don't think there's anyone on this forum who hasn't gone through months and years - even decades - of struggle, failure, & self loathing. So you have my sympathy for starters.

There are several accounts of people quitting bac a few times before returning to it in despair and suddenly hitting the jackpot. So give it another spin - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Good luck!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I know....thank you everyone....trying bac AGAIN! I cannot keep going on like this! Something needs to change....

Thank you for the kind words and support! I knew right where to come when I felt so bad this morning!