I am a trainwreck!

[Guest]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1130206 wrote: Hey All!

Saturday went well with the family...luckily we had to leave early because my son had a baseball game...only a couple comments about my weight...total of 2/12 Saturday...

Yesterday not so good...5 glasses...started earlly in typical taw fashion...but normally would have been 8-10...so I see that as a small victory...I have noticed however that is takes much longer to finish a glass...baby steps right?

Maybe I should join a gym....been single for WAY too long!! But I am sure there will be no Daniel Craig in my neck of the woods!


Murph, I would love to avoid my family...but for some reason my son has not been tainted by them yet and still likes seeing them! Give it time, it will happen to him too!

Ok, back to work!

Thank you all for your support! :h

Daniel Craig works in my Bank........and it's one of those banks where the staff aren't behind awful screens. I'm a complete idiot whenever I go in, eyes on the floor when I could be talking quite normally to him. Ah well.

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1130206 wrote: Murph, I would love to avoid my family...but for some reason my son has not been tainted by them yet and still likes seeing them! Give it time, it will happen to him too!
I suggest you push the process along. You should sit him down and have a conversation. Mention your family regularly and every time you do, pinch him. Keep doing this for several months and eventually he'll connect your family with pain and want to avoid them. Or tell him some story about them actually being evil lizard people and they're going to eat his flesh.

Ukblonde;1130287 wrote: Daniel Craig works in my Bank........and it's one of those banks where the staff aren't behind awful screens. I'm a complete idiot whenever I go in, eyes on the floor when I could be talking quite normally to him. Ah well.

UKB, I really don't think Daniel Craig does work in your bank. I'm pretty sure he has other work these days.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Tell me again why I am doing this? These SE's are kicking my ass! I have not gotten more than 3 hours total sleep in the last 2 days. I even took 2 Advil PM's last night and they did not do squat! And the breathing thing??? I woke up because I was not breathing...have such a hard time catching my breath...

And the muscle twitching/lack of coordination? I could not even read while I was awake because my hands were twitching so bad I could not hold the book. And my legs and arms will just randomly giving out...

I went up to 250 Monday and proceeded to throw up all night long...went bac down to 175 yesterday...Not sure where to go from here! I need to sleep! and I cannot have twitching/lack of leg and arm control at work!

Any suggestions? Please help me....do not want to quit but having a hard time figuring out where to from here! I had been telling myself the SE's were a sign that the bac was working but I cannot do this much longer...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

Morning, Taw.
I'm really sorry that it's so rough for you.

First things first, and I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record, but it helps me understand....

How much and how often are you taking the bac? And for how long have you been at that dose?

If you don't remember why you're doing it, you're either well on your way to indifference or you are not remembering clearly. Read your thread! (or mine, or Red's.) Active alcoholism sucks. It took me 4 months of titration to get it gone, a year from start to finish. Meaning OA's book to indifference. Hang in sister. You got this.

Ne

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I am taking 37.5 every 2 hours...I had been at 225 for 3 days...

I know why I am doing this...really I do...but right now...UGH!!! My hands are twitching so bad I can barely type...I am sloshing my coffee as I am trying to drink...my legs just give out while I am walking...I am dropping things because my arms decide they want to do their own thing...

And I am just so very sleepy!!! I am sure a good nights sleep will really help, but as things are going I don't see that happening...I cannot even force down enough wine to pass out! So, I guess maybe it is getting close...had just been going along fairly well for a while then BAM! slapped in the face with bad SE's again!

Sorry to complain and rant! Really I am sure it is just from lack of sleep!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

It is very likely that it's from lack of sleep, taw. That's the most debilitating SE there is, imveryho.

That said, slow and easy. What does Murphy say? Softlee softlee catchee monkey? Something like that. (hope it's appropriate!)

I'm really glad you've got an even dosing schedule. Super importante, imo. In most opinions!

That said, 250 to 225 to 175 is whopper, right?

I can't help with the vomiting. I'm sorry. The only time I've ever projectile vomited was on bac. It was awful and made me feel for you. Prior to that I have only experienced the throwing-up-from-booze, always made it, type vomiting. I'm pretty sure that all of the stuff I can suggest for that is stuff you know and are doing.

The sleeping? You need a break, sister. Find yourself a good sleep med. Benadryl is a good, safe otc option. Can't remember if you've got a doc? I know not for the bac, but maybe a quickie visit to the doc in the box for some of the ones that others swear by: zolpidem (beatle) What's Tim using? xanax, too. I hate to admit it, but it's my go-to these days for things bac related. I use it sparingly, in absolute accordance with rx. Meaning, suggest .125 or .25 for the severe anxiety or insomnia. Any doc will give you a small rx for any of these, and that should be enough to get you over the hump and through this particularly onerous stretch.

Frankly, the xanax helped someone with just about everything going on. Maybe you'll find that it helps take the edge off enough to control the vomiting? Just a suggestion, and I am FOR SURE NOT recommending a highly addictive benzo as a solution for all that ills, or long term. But short term? To find the goal? Use whatever you must, taw. That's what I would do anyway.

(it will definitely help with the shaking. definitely. as will a good night's sleep, maybe.)

Yes. the BAM sucks!!!

Complain and rant away, sister-bean. It's part of the point.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I will try the benedryl...I thought for sure the Advil PM's would work, but I need to find something! I could not go thru anohter day of vomiting like I was so I thought if I went down that would help and it did with that but now I just still fell like shit!

I know, eye on the prize...maybe go more slowly this time going up...No, I don't have a doc really...went to a gp to get nal last month and she would not give it to me...I don't have a regular doc...

I KNOW a good nights sleep would make every thing better! Thanks for the love, NE...going to stick it out!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

:h and
xo

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

I can't recommend Benadryl highly enough. It worked for me, or rather Nytol did, but UK Nytol is the same thing as US Benadryl, if you know what I mean?

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Yes, I know what you mean Murph. I will definitely try it...cannot be any worse than what is happening now! I had never tried Advil PM but was sure it would work...but I know benedryl will make me sleepy!

Phew....cannot wait to try it tonight! Hope it works! Remotivated!!

[bleep]

I am a trainwreck!

NAPS!

Take naps. Baclofen doesn't let me sleep for long periods, two hours is about the best I have managed, even on hectic sleeping tablets. If your circumstances permit, take a couple of naps in the day, they will change your life.

As regards the SE's - I think a lot of them come from changes in dose as much as anything. You've had some pretty big swings recently. Try hard to find a steady dose for a few days, I'll bet you feel better. If you don't, go up and maintain.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Naps not an option...work full time for a VERY demanding boss! He would frown upon me missing a call because I was snoozing!

Yes, I know I have been changing a lot...wanted to go up quickly...then that sucked so I figured if I went down then bac up it would be better...will stick at 175 for a few days...then see what happens! Guess I got overly zealous to get the done! Lesson learned!

[LadyLush]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw,

I have followed you for a long time. You were so sick the first time around but yet you believed!
There is a new sleep aid in America called "Melissa"...in the sleep aid section. It is all natural and made with Lemom Balm..it is supposed to be what we are all looking for!
People swear by it.
Thanks Taw for helping me personally through your own journey.



LL:l

[LittleLessBoozin']

I am a trainwreck!

Murphyx;1131360 wrote: I can't recommend Benadryl highly enough. It worked for me, or rather Nytol did, but UK Nytol is the same thing as US Benadryl, if you know what I mean?

Chaps and Chapesses- although my own interweb research finds the potential inter-drug probs to be the same, Dr. L. freaked when I mentioned that I was a fan of the old diphenhydramine/nytol/benadryl for sleeping and gave me an unsolicited Rx for Xanax.

I actually find Xanax to be inferior to diphenhydramine, but in deference to the good doc I'm sticking to it for now....

Paul.

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

Paul, what was his objection to benadryl? Was it the mix with bac or the antihistamine itself?