I am a trainwreck!

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1133557 wrote: ....slow and steady....

Slow and steady is good.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

I hope so Murph!! am anxious to get there but willing to wait it out! for now.....remind me of this if I take a huge leap up soon!

[Rusty]

I am a trainwreck!

I am so happy for you, Taw!!! :l:goodjob:

xo

Rustygirl

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Rusty!!!!!! How are you? I have missed you!!!!

[bleep]

I am a trainwreck!

I had that too Taw - massive swings in drinking. It's just part of the process, so don't read too much into it. Appreciate the days when drinking is down, but don't get bummed about the other days. It happens, until suddenly it stops happening forever.

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1133603 wrote: I hope so Murph!! am anxious to get there but willing to wait it out! for now.....remind me of this if I take a huge leap up soon!

Taking a huge leap helps too...at the right time. Confused? Yeah me too.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Thanks for clearing that up for me Murph!

I know Bleep! This rollar coaster is getting old though! It really is helping to keep a daily log of drinks though! I can look back and see just how many low consumption days there have been!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

So habit versus craving seems to be the question of the day....was furlough day today...so started drinking after I came home from getting a cortisone shot in my foot....did I want to? Or was it just habit? I am thinking habit....so if the cravings go away does the habitual drinking follow?

Then again was completely pissed off at NN, ex husband, cannot give me child support but my son is coming home with new games for his DSi and Wii all the time...I cannot pay my bills but they eat out all the time and always go out and do things and get new video games...WTF!!! Maybe a trip bac to court is needed....He had to stop paying for his daughter last month so where is my money? UGH so fecking annoyed!

We have a better relationship now then we ever had when we were married and certainly better then he has with his other ex wives, yes wives, 2 other than me....But come on, throw me a bone, let me see you are as not a big a jagoff that I divorced....even his current girlfriend, his girlfriend from high school, is ready to get rid of him! Have I mentioned he is 18 years older than me?

Sorry....been bottling up....had to get it out! Fuck him! Will provide a much better home life for my son then he ever could! And shit, my foot HURTS!!!! High tolerance for pain but damn this hurts! Going to go ice it now....my foot, Murph!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

going to try and fix my tomato plant that got uprooted last night....got son early from daycare and he wanted to come home and go to his friends house...go figure....

Luckily bamboo and not metal stakes with the lightning happening again!

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1135171 wrote: So habit versus craving seems to be the question of the day....was furlough day today...so started drinking after I came home from getting a cortisone shot in my foot....did I want to? Or was it just habit? I am thinking habit....so if the cravings go away does the habitual drinking follow?Great question ... so many answers...unfortunately. It depends on loads of factors. How often do you drink? How much do you drink when you do? Can you identify what triggers the habit? When you're not around the triggers, do you still drink? Do you like tall bald men with huge knobs? Can you imagine yourself not drinking when not bothered by the triggers? Have you tried ignoring the triggers?


taw;1135171 wrote: Going to go ice it now....my foot, Murph!

Phwoarrrr!

[bleep]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1135171 wrote: So habit versus craving seems to be the question of the day....was furlough day today...so started drinking after I came home from getting a cortisone shot in my foot....did I want to? Or was it just habit? I am thinking habit....so if the cravings go away does the habitual drinking follow?

...

In my case, habit played a role, but there is a difference between habit and craving, a big difference, between the two. I knew when I was indifferent, and I think you will too. The thirst is gone, and that feels obvious.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

One of my triggers is men who can't stop referring to their parts. Not the kind of trigger you're talking about, maybe? Not the kind of trigger you like, either. The other trigger.

taw, I don't know how it was in the moment when I stopped drinking, but my recollection was that I made a decision to not have a drink. The difference was that I didn't think about it after that. As in, "I don't think I'll stop by the store tonight on the way home." I think I called my husband and asked him to drink elsewhere, too. I didn't want it in the house, I think?
But then I didn't think about it again. Same thing the next day. "I don't think I'll get anything to drink from the store." I didn't, and I didn't think about it again. Rather, I'm sure I thought about it, because it was a MARVEL. I distinctly remember wondering if I was going to be running up to the store right before they stopped selling beer...

So. When you can make the decision and it doesn't feel like you're punishing yourself or white knuckling it... You're indifferent, I guess.
(I was going to write a little story, but I'm trying to limit my words, don't want to use 'em all up and leave none for the rest of youse.)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I am a trainwreck!

Hope you got the tomato plant righted and that you weather the weather with nothing more than a crooked tomater!

[Murphyx]

I am a trainwreck!

Ne/Neva Eva;1135203 wrote: One of my triggers is men who can't stop referring to their parts. Not the kind of trigger you're talking about, maybe? Not the kind of trigger you like, either. The other trigger.

Rightyo.

[RudyB]

I am a trainwreck!

taw, i have the same questions and similar challenges. feck, i'm fighting the habit big time here, but the craving is nothing like it used to be. gone? almost always, but i still cave into something. habit, i am sure.

sorry about your ex. sounds pretty typical. (and you can always dish about this on my thread, btw.) mine thinks he can leave his shit virtually on my doorstep until we're officially divorced. and he has a LOT of shit! i just told him in an email that i'd happily pay anything not to have to look at his 'chaotic and insulting mess' any longer. see, we can dump on each other's threads. no prob w that for me, obviously!