I am a trainwreck!

[spacebebe01]

I am a trainwreck!

I also am on LDB and have eye twitches I havent thought before that they may be related, especially when Im tired my eyes mosley my right eye can be quite bad. I think that the bac at the dose Im on does help with anxiety, when I went down to 10mg my anxiety went terrible, but since Ive gone back up to 30 - 40mg its gone ok again. I cant say bac has done anything for my depression.

[redhead77]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw,

This is a little late, I know (so I hope you see it, I know you aren't on here every day). I've had coordination issues too. It happens on different doses and usually when I'm titrating up. I get the dropsies where I drop everything. I also suffer from what I could only call a gait imbalance at times. I have a hard time coordinating my steps. I feel like I must look like I'm drunk when I'm walking. It only last for a few seconds and then it goes away. It always goes away when I settle into a dose.

Anyway, how are you? Did it go away?

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Enough!!!

Time to take control...I just took an antabuse. I am not nearly where I want to be drinking wise on bac...I just started 260 mg today...Dr. L. said he has never had anyone fail...well, maybe I will be the first. I am just going to take an antabuse every morning with my first dose of bac, before I have time to think about it and talk myself out of it.

This has got to stop! I am ok during the week, but weekends just kill me! Especially when my son is with his dad...who am I kidding, that does not matter.

I am not sure what I am so afraid of quitting drinking. But something has got to change. Wouldn't I like to wake up in the morning with a clear head, remembering the night before? I am just so frustrated with myself! Not even sure if there is any craving whatsoever, or just habit at this point. Taking away the choice, maybe I will find out.

UGH!!! When will I learn?

[Nelz]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1279173 wrote: Time to take control...I just took an antabuse. I am not nearly where I want to be drinking wise on bac...I just started 260 mg today...Dr. L. said he has never had anyone fail...well, maybe I will be the first. I am just going to take an antabuse every morning with my first dose of bac, before I have time to think about it and talk myself out of it.

This has got to stop! I am ok during the week, but weekends just kill me! Especially when my son is with his dad...who am I kidding, that does not matter.

I am not sure what I am so afraid of quitting drinking. But something has got to change. Wouldn't I like to wake up in the morning with a clear head, remembering the night before? I am just so frustrated with myself! Not even sure if there is any craving whatsoever, or just habit at this point. Taking away the choice, maybe I will find out.

UGH!!! When will I learn?

Afraid of quitting? Let me tell you one thing, once you do, you will never go back. I wondered how Id get through life without AL...and after it daym near killing me, I decided Id probably be ok. Turns out, I was right.....I still wake up everyday without AL, but its for the better

Its almost like being reborn, the body changes, the mind changes....and it changes for the better. Nothing good ever happened for me while I was drunk, nor would it ever happen.

Do what you have to do, to quit, it wont be easy, but it will be VERY worth it

[RingingCedars]

I am a trainwreck!

taw;1279173 wrote: UGH!!! When will I learn?

Sounds to me like you right here, right now, are my dear:l
Take your life back Girl! You so deserve it!

[Bruunhilde]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw, I second Nelz's post. I'm on AB too, a week in, and yes I feel like I'm sorta trapping myself, but like you say, I don't want to live like this anymore. Its funny, unlike being without antabuse, I don't have that constant fight in my brain in the evening. Its a relief, after the first few days. Let us know how you're doing, and write it out - you'll find it interesting to see how your thoughts change, I bet. Congratulations!

[GingerDust]

I am a trainwreck!

WOO HOO, Taw! You go! I third Nelz's fine post.

I love Dr. L but he deludes himself where baclofen is concerned. You are not the first, and I was not, and many of his patient's have bailed on baclofen. My experience on antabuse mirrors Bruun's. The constant thought of drinking flat goes away when you know you can NOT drink. It's very freeing.

One thought though, for some of us antabuse was a little (and I mean a little) unsettling to the stomach when we first starting taking it. The easy solution is to take it with food.

You will NOT regret letting go of the booze. It's a whole new life. Congratulations. I'm very happy for you!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Thanks everyone! Yes, I need to take the choice away! Maybe some good AF time will let the bac get to doing what it is supposed to do. And I really think it is more habit then anything. Boredome, lonliness, same old same old.

That is the plan, take the AB first thing in the morning so I cannot talk my self out of it. I already feel better!! It is good to have a plan!

[spacebebe01]

I am a trainwreck!

Hi Taw, I used to think that if the kids were not here then drinking didnt really count so it would be ok to be pissed all weekend when they went to their dads, I then reasoned that if I drank as soon as they went to school I could get pissed then sleep it off by the time they got back so in my mind that was ok as well,

well done on taking control to stop drinking by taking AB it does stop the exhausting should I, shouldnt I fight in my head

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Start of day 3 AF...I feel so much better! My first night AF, Monday, my sister had an emergency at 2:30 a.m. and I woke up to the sound of my phone...not pissed passed out! I am going to dose down a bit on the bac for a bit. At 260 now, but with the AB, hopefully I won't need that much...

I am nervous about this weekend with my son being AF. We have his pinewood derby Saturday. Normally would drink before just to handle it (even tho it is at 11:00), but hopefully without having been hung over from Friday I will feel good. Anyway, unfortunatley he is used to my mood swings. Maybe those will even out too!

Onward and upward!

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Holy Crap! Did not even realize when I started AB this week that tomorrow is St. Pat's day! This will be my first sober one in 23 years!! Except for the one I was pregnant!

Taking AB in the mornings so I cannot talk my self out of it later in the day, day after day and eventually drink. Been working out well so far. Have taken it 5 days in a row...5 days AF!!

Cutting down on the bac, sleeping well again, and over all feeling very good!!

[GingerDust]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw, that is great! I'm sure a bunch of us will be joining you for an AF St. Pat's day.



It's great to hear that you are sleeping well again and feeling good. Good for you. :l

[LadyLush]

I am a trainwreck!

Taw,

I am going to a very popular Irish bar and I am the designated driver. I took my antabuse this morning too so there's no turning back!
Good luck to all of us and let's make it a fun sober weekend!


LL:l

[Bruunhilde]

I am a trainwreck!

Good job Taw and all. Sober St Paddys. The alcohol hasn't done anything for me (buzz) in the times I've tried it out in the last few months. So why bother? All it does is add sugar/calories to me and ruin my looks. Not worth it! There's no point. The AB just reinforces that decision.

[taw]

I am a trainwreck!

Thanks everyone! I might have to take 2!! :0 I just freaked myself out realizing this! But I think my body is just adjusting to being AF too. Have not had a drop since Sunday so I am sure that is a big part of it...getting very anxious and agitated...

And there is a HUGE St Pats Party here today...one that I used to go to every year, blow off my afternoon of work and hang out....UGH!!! Good thing I already took my AB!!