The order has been placed...

[bleep69]

Wow.

I don't believe it. Truly, my astonishment is unreal. To have this curse, and for there to be an answer out there, and for that answer not to be screamed from every rooftop is, to me, the most astonishing thing I have ever not heard. I have been to rehab, one that espoused the 12 steps, and completely failed to buy in. The whole principle didn't resonate with me in any way, shape or form. While I realised that all was not well in the land, I knew this wasn't the answer.

The outrage I feel at the rehab for not telling me that these options existed is hard to quantify. I know they had their methods that they have bought in to, but I specifically asked, several times, if this was the only way - "fake it 'till you make it", " keep on keeping on", etc ad nauseum was all I was told. I have such an intense distrust of the 12 steps, even though I know they have helped some people. I wonder here about the "in spite of" argument....

I got into shit for saying : If your definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results, then surely a 5% cure rate makes you insane? That to me is getting the same results.

Then, the other day, in desperation, with my wife about to divorce me, taking with her my son, I googled "alcoholic cure." I didn't expect a worthwhile hit, but....

The stories I have read on here are so inspiring, it literally takes my breath away. That there is hope, that this can, against what everything I have been taught about it by "professionals" be cured, is the most amazing piece of news I have ever heard.

I just have to get over the difficulties of ordering things from a 3rd world country with no postal service (country doesn't even appear on the list of most providers!), and I will be away!

The people on this forum are the most helpful, understanding and decent bunch it has been my pleasure to see. I thank you. You can all go to bed tonight knowing that you have made a very profound, very lasting difference (and hopefully very immediate!) in somebody's life.

Cheers.

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

Sorry, I realised I didn't mention what I was placing the order for...

After much soul searching and research, I have gone with Baclofen. My original intention was Naltroxene, from reading posts here, I switched. My goal is drinking in moderation. From here, an unbelievable thought.

[taw]

The order has been placed...

Welcome Bleep! I am awaiting my first shipment of bac also! I share your anger for being told for so long that AA was the only way and I was never going to get better with out it....and all other nonsense they tell you in rehab! Glad to have you here! Stick around...lots of good advice and info!

[Seethepony]

The order has been placed...

Hi bleep,
Great to hear a voice from Zimbabwe, I was in Harare and thereabouts for half a year as a kid and have very fond memories of the place.
You're right, it's unbelievable that baclofen seems to be a total mystery to the very people who are supposed to know about these things. It's only their job! (I assume you're referring to baclofen in your post, though I don't see it mentioned explicitly.)
I vaguely understand an individual doctor's hesitation to prescribe a drug for a purposes outside its recognised role - "Viagra for acne? Go home, kiddo!" - but the evidence that baclofen works for alcoholism is, by now, beyond scepticism. The lethargy of the medical world in recognising the importance of this life changing and life saving drug is borderline criminal. The pharmaceutical companies have 40-odd "cures" for alcoholism in the pipeline, so they have zero financial interest in a drug that was developed in the 1920s, which is no longer copyrighted. This is why baclofen won't be officially trialled for efficacy regarding alcoholism.

Anyway, bleep/Ryan - congratulations on finding out about this amazing drug. It saved my skinny ass. I hope it saves yours too!

Ps. I nearly got the shit kicked out of me in a Harare nightclub in 1989 for picking "My Way" on the karaoke machine and doing Sid Vicious's version instead of Frank's... Ah! Alcohol! It ain't all bad!

[Rusty]

The order has been placed...

Good Afternoon, Bleep!:welcome:

I have never been to rehab but my family thought it was the only way out in October, 2008, when my sister went behind my back to my doctor and my doctor told her "Rehab is the most effective way." I was not about to go, and I didn't.

About 2 months later, I started seeing a great AL addiction therapist and she summed it up: rehab centers want your money, and especially if they are 12-step based, they are not going to tell you about other options, because they don't want you to know. My aunt was a 30-year drinking alcoholic who went to a 12-step rehab, and they never even told her about options like Women For Sobriety. She had never heard of NAL, BAC or any meds like that. AA is the ONLY way in those 12-step rehab centers. I told my mom, "you make me go to rehab and I'll tell you what will happen on my 28th day. I will be released and my first stop will be a liquor store." She knew I wasn't kidding and she hasn't brought it up since then.

Enough said. I am on BAC and I HAVE my life back!

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

Thanks you for the replies.

I have never been one of those people who felt worthless after booze. I just know that I am amazingly capable of doing really shit things to people and not being aware of it...
Don't get me wrong - if I remembered I would probably be mortified, but, complete ignorance has it's prize....

I often think that that is the reason I am able to continue with impunity - i forget with impunity

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

a quick reply posted without looking at posts properly - please give me a bit of time~

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

thank you for the kind replies thus far, it is an amazing change from previous forums!

although I have screwed things up, I really prefer the acknowledgement of my responsibility that this forum espouses. Great stuff, lots of praise from a very amatuer beginer, hopefully it's all good.

Somewhat unironically, I am quite pissed at the moment, so I I hope this post comes though in the right tase...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

The order has been placed...

bleep69;1031466 wrote:
Somewhat unironically, I am quite pissed at the moment, so I I hope this post comes though in the right tase...

:H That's the best line I've read all day. You're in good company. I'm guessing you'll regret it in the morning. Can't forget, with impugnity or otherwise, the black and white. Rest assured I've been there.
The second best line was Pony's. Viagra lends enough to the world, it doesn't need to do anything but exactly what it does.

Ryan, I share your outrage. And your hope. It works. Lots to be gleaned from reading through here. A good start might be the post by zenstyle with all of the pertinent info on the first page. It's overwhelming. Just skip around.
Hope you'll stay in touch.
Oh, and yes, the muscle twitching is a fairly common SE.

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

[QUOTE=Seethepony)
I vaguely understand an individual doctor's hesitation to prescribe a drug for a purposes outside its recognised role - Viagra for acne? Go home, kiddo! - but the evidence that baclofen works for alcoholism is, by now, beyond scepticism. The lethargy of the medical world in recognising the importance of this life changing and life saving drug is borderline criminal!
Quoted bit underlined for emphasis!

That is amazingly it. End of story. The only story now is how this particular story isn't being told. I had a fairly large argument with my sister tonight, who is a nurse in Bristol, that they are damaging people bu not agreeing - in the end, she agreed, so maybe there is hope...?

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

Neva - got you...

All you wer trying to say made sense, because I read your other 300 posts explaining how you got free...

Thanks for hanging around - when I'm free, I plan to do the same.


Until then, here I lurk

[Ne/Neva Eva]

The order has been placed...

:H:H
Ha. As soon as I posted it occured to me that you indicated you'd been through the threads...
And friend, I'm not free yet. But after doubting the veracity of this for the better part of this year, I'm finally believing.
Thank you. :blush:

Lurk away. A MWO obsession might just be the one that leads us away from the beast. I think it's working for me.

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

Man, a lot of posts I have no memory of making!

Still, I feel in a better place, despite being somewhat hungover - I have worked around our crappy postal service, and my sister in the UK is ordering for me, and will be DHLing Bac to me shortly. I can't wait. Slightly nervous about the side effects, but they can't be much worse than being hungover every day, so I will just grit my teeth and push through.

I am seeing a doctor on Monday, mostly just to let him know about all of this, and to see if he has any interest in tracking my progress. Will be interesting to see how he responds. To me, it must be like a carpenter who has never heard of nails, and suddenly discovers them. What a pleasure. Now you can actually treat people, rather than sending them off to moan with other people who have the same problem.

I can feel I am in bender mode. Not sure what it is, or why it happens, but I am definitely in it. Come 1 o'clock, I am downing tools, then downing a lot more. I know it won't lead to much joy, in fact it will be a couple of ours of fun then blankness until tomorrow, no doubt with some shit that I have caused thrown in for good measure, but I can't wait. Looking at that in cold, hard text makes me realise how stupid it is, but I'm still counting down the hours until it starts... (4)

seethepony - I'm guessing Club Tomorrow, or Archipelago as it changed it's name to?


Have a good new year.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

The order has been placed...

Bleep. :H
Yeah. Careful with that whole posting while blacked out thing. It got worse for me when I started the baclofen, ftr. Harder to stay away and blacked out more often, at least initially. And the remorse kept me off the boards. Don't fall for that little trick of the beast. I, and many others, will be here when you feel like posting. drunk, sober or hungover. It's the nature of the disease.
Good on you about the doctor. Makes me feel a lot better that I have that option.

With you on being in the bender mode. sadly. I'm going to pop some more pills (baclofen and supplements. Lots of pills in my life these days! but nothing medicinal except bac.)
Stay safe. The journey has begun for you, it'd be nice if you were actually around to take it. ha. sort of.
Happy new year back at you!

[bleep69]

The order has been placed...

I'm very confused.

I had it all planned out. The whole piss-up was there, laid out in front of me, and I somehow failed to follow through. I kept wanting to chat about MYO, baclofen and such... Spent most of the night composing posts in my head, which have now been forgotten, but still... Bender avoided, somehow. Thinking about this site helped a remarkable amount. You guys don't know how helpful you have been.

I am amazed that I am stilll compos mentis. Unreal. I'm a bit pissed, but cest la vie, life goes on... I can't wait for my bac to get here, this journey needs to start....

Neva - thanks for responding - I black out just about every time I drink, so if I didn't respond while pissed, you'd never hear from me. I have developed the most amazing ability to make it seem like I know what my friends are talking about when they discuss the previous night, when in reality I have no idea what they are talking about. I black out every time I drink, completely. While it annoys me, I have gotten used to it, it is something that has happened since day one.

If it gets worse with Bac, I'm doomed!

No. I lie. I want the Bac and I want it now. My only fear is that I am placing too much hope in it. I'm starting to look at it as a panacea for all my ills, and I know thats not the case... Still, one step at a time.

Neva, I wanted to post in your thread, I'm new to this whole forum thing and randomly posting seems weird to me. I'm sure if I get pissed enough, you'll see me all over the boards! While I want to encourage someone, it seems obvious that I wish them luck without having to say it, etc...

Sigh.

I'm about pissed enough now that I may not remember these posts. Please, please, please let baclofen arrive soon. I want this to stop. I hate it.

On that cheerful note, it's just gone midnight here (2 hours ago), so happy new year all!
Much love to all.