Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

[Lowcountryman]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Ne, Bleep,

No grats or wows I feel like it's all been coming together. The book, the start of the journey, MWO. And also: getting a few breaks, a bit of luck, an opportunity to make a fresh start.
The girl is a weird crazy happy camper suffering adhd on the surface, underneath a wounded mess. Sweet and very honest though. And that's enough for me. Extreme thrill-seeker though, so she might be gone/off tomorrow without wanting to leave She would not have been my mother's first pick

Low

[Chi]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Thanks for posting. I love hearing the follow-up stories and I am very happy for you!

[Bruunhilde]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Hello Low, great to hear your update. Congrats on a new life! Really happy for you, and look forward to hearing how you do without bac, and if you do need to use it again for a booster. We'll all be curious.... Take care.

[gratitude]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

low,
unbelievable. life changing, really. very happy for you.
please continue to post once in a while. at least for the newbies.
I realized when reading your post that I would give my left testicle ( no joke, I've got two anyway) to experience what you have described. no craving even when your girl is goin' at it. that would do me in. my MO. there is a girl involved... it's on. that is why I've isolated myself so much these last few years.
I've decided to try BAC. as a tool. the pill I mean-not me. even though I can be a tool.
there, I've said it.
stay well, low. and let us know what happens on the no BAC regimen. grat.

[bleep]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Gratitude, good luck man. Please let us know how you fare.

[gratitude]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

thanks bleep.

[Lowcountryman]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Okay...bad news.

Getting totally off Bac was a littlebit too optimistic

Yesterday's story:
I've had a wonderfull weekend with my daughter. I brought her back to her mother's place. I felt sad to leave her, she (4 y/o) was sad I left. And I felt angry, wondering how the fck it had come this far. Working my ass off to fix my financials, therefore seeing my daughter less than I used too. And now both of us were sad.

Also have a decision to make about a carreer-move. I've a master degree at Law but omg how boring is that. I'll probably be having the opportunity to become a teacher at a elementary school. Paid scholing for two years, learning new things, earning less money.

And I had cravings. Like BAD cravings. Gddmn, I actually forgot how it felt. NOT feeling them was very real, feeling them again even more. I really wanted to get drunk asap. Like I used to. That made me even angrier. You'll know the circle. The whole damn evening. Wanted to turn on the music loud, tune up the guitar, sing and get carried away by the booze , feel the deepest joy and saddnes that I used to 'experience' while being drunk. Forget about it all and see what tomorrow would bring.

It lasted at least a few hours. Had to use 'willpower'. Then it faded away somehow (watching some soccer on tv). At midnight I went to the girl. We were happy to see each other. She poured me a glass of prosecco (she took half a bottle from her employer). I took it. Didn't taste that good though, but I'm not sure what would have happened if she would have had a few bottles more. Any drugs would have been okay yesterday btw.

So, not that good. I'll be taking the Bac again. Not every day, but on the days that I can expect myself to get some cravings.

No big worries here. I tried to do without Bac at all, but it didn't work for me. Bummer!! The positive thing is that for me appearently Bac does the trick, as long as she's in my brains. I'll continu the trial-and-error-thing.

If the cravings return, I'll be at my beloved 120's in no time.

Low

[bleep]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Thanks for posting that Low.

A pity, baclofen free would have been a very desirable goal. Good for you that you didn't give in, I have a miserable track record with that sort of thing. Still, by no means the end of the world. At the very least, we can add a little knowledge to our slowly growing store.

So you are just going to take baclofen when it seems you might crave, rather than a daily dose?

[Chi]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Thanks for reporting Low. I've wondered about that very thing.

I keep wondering if once indifference occurs if very low bac (like 20 mg a day) or like you said a prn bac when situations get hard.

Keep us posted, and btw- a law degree boring?? I would love to have one of those!

[gratitude]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

low,
did you try lowering your dose over a period of time? ithiink several BAC people have done this and just stayed at 20 or 30 as a maintenance dose? that seems doable. grat.

[Murphyx]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

gratitude;1091151 wrote: low,
did you try lowering your dose over a period of time? ithiink several BAC people have done this and just stayed at 20 or 30 as a maintenance dose? that seems doable. grat.

But are they truly still indifferent when they do that, or are they relying on will power/other tools they have learnt/developed?

Either way it's great, but I'd really like to know how that works.

[Bruunhilde]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Thanks for the info Low. I have found 25mg/bac/day doesn't kill the cravings for me. I'm taking it just so I can post on this forum. oke:

[RedThread12]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

Thanks so much for this post, Low. There are a lot of people "out there" wondering what happens after indifference and how low to go with baclofen. This story is immensely helpful and whatever you post next will be immensely helpful. I hope you find your comfort range again soon.

[gratitude]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

murph,
I am pretty sure sunny went down to 20 and doesn't have cravings? sunny , you out there?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Well, I'm indifferent (6 jan 2011)

6 weeks is a long enough hiatus, don't you think?

It is for me. I miss you. We need you. I dare say you might need us every now and then. (I just can't imagine getting enough out of life that one is indifferent to MWO! Then again, it would be you that did just that!)

xo, rock star friend. (there is another rock star around here, ftr. You should post just so he doesn't feel so alone...)

Love,
Ne
I heard this this morning and it made me laugh and think of you: (not you or your style, ftr. but still, it's awesome. lol)
YouTube - Rock Star-Nickelback