My goal is complete abstenance, and I'm not willing to spend months drinking more than ever I can't afford to personally, financially, spiritually. I had had 3 months of relapses that disrupted my life, then the one surrounding the bac was the worst I've had for a long, long time. That was to a different level. I'm not prepared to sink my life into the ground on the promise that in 6 months, 2 years I will hit the switch. By then I'd either be dead, or at least in the gutter. When I drink I don't work, I'm not a functional alcoholic who can bumble along somehow and my life will not support me in that manner.
I want and need sobriety now.
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