Indifference.

[bleep]

This is my new username. The 69 was originally chosen after being suggested by a forum, when my chosen name was in use. Being me, I thought “Tee hee”, and have never looked back. It’s time to drop it. New beginnings…

I went in to my son’s room, and offered up a silent prayer, so profoundly thankful that he would live a life without the cloud of an alcoholic parent hanging over him.

I reached my switch after only 3 weeks, at 360mg’s per day, broken into 12 x 30mg doses. I had been on this dose for a day, dropping back down from 400mg’s. It is my belief that this even spread of dosage helped. I feel a fraud, having gotten here so easily, but I hope my musings will help those who come later. Come they will, because what is happening here will open a floodgate…

I reached it 2 days ago, when I had a cup of tea after a glass of wine. At first, I felt empty. The “goodbye old friend” feeling. Then I realised what had happened, and thought “Hah, fuck you booze, I win.” Against the odds, which have already turned against booze, for everyone, after years of booze being in control. I hesitated to post this, because it is so soon, but there is no doubt in my mind. I am filled with a quiet joy.

My plan is to go up one more level and remain there for a bit, then titrate slowly down to find my maintenance dose, which is hopefully low. Whatever it is, so be it. I want to be sure sure sure.

This is, and will always be, the happiest post I have ever made.

I want to thank my family, who put up with my endless shit, and stood by me through this. Everyone on this forum, and this forum itself, for being there. Without you, this journey would not have begun, and if it somehow did, would have been much harder. And of course, thank you to Dr. Ameisen without whom this definitely would not be possible.

My name is Ryan, and I was an alcoholic.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Indifference.

Ryan,
That is perhaps the most poignant switch post I've read.

I am filled with joy for you.
Congratulations, friend.
Love,
Karen

[Sunnyvalenting]

Indifference.

Congratulations, Ryan. It is truly a worthy endeavor.
Best of continued success.
Sunny (Now also cured)

[Grommet]

Indifference.

Wow Ryan, truly amazing and inspiring.

I am very happy for you. Congratulations!

[taw]

Indifference.

Good for you

[taw]

Indifference.

You will still always be Bleep to me! But I understand the name change!!

I am very happy for you! I got teary eyed at the end of your post!

Koko!!!

[Lo0p]

Indifference.

:woot:

Sorry I couldn't help you more. I kind of felt like I'd be liable for the outcome, and it sounded scary there for a minute.

I fu$&ing knew it, though! I even called the dosage dammit! I didn't exactly tell you though.

[ignominious]

Indifference.

Congrats
Good to hear

[redhead77]

Indifference.

I have chills from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I thought I was going to cry as I read this. Especially about your child and the alcoholic parent no more. Congrats. To think of the many who this could work for who won't discover it in time. Here's to you bleep. You are a true pioneer!

[Isolde]

Indifference.

Excellent post, bleep. Congrats! Welcome to post-switch land. :goodjob:

Amazing and wonderful that you were able to reach it in such a short period of time.

Funny how you would think something called "the switch" would be more of a definitive moment, but for most of us, it's a slow realization. Still, it is as though a switch has been flipped, it sometimes just takes us a bit to realize that the light is on now.

Looking forward to your post-switch posts, Ryan.

[Lowcountryman]

Indifference.

Bleep!

First of all: Congratulations:good:

Then again ,being the sober partypooper I am these days, it's so amazing that it is almost unbelievable. And to be very, maybe too, honest here, and there is absolutely no jealousy involved, I have my reservations. I think maybe you should too. So I almost 'beg' you to keep on posting about the progress.

I'm taking the risk of being slaughtered here, but I can and will take that.
Iv'e been 'following' you lately here on this forum and I just cannot get over this idea that you might be a little manic. Not stable. Can't find the right word and I'm no medic. I post this reply all in the open, since you have been very much open in the good and the bad.

BUT, Bleep I sincerely wish you the best and really hope for you that this is the real thing.

If you will keep posting, and remain being 'Ryan the former alcoholic', that might absolutely give new perspective to all of those trying.

I intend no harm, do not want to ruin the party, but these were my first thoughts. (maybe I should titrate up again immediately)

Bleep, you could have done it anyway, and I hope this was enough journey for you.

Low

[Guest]

Indifference.

:goodjob: YaY :goodjob:

[bleep]

Indifference.

Thanks you all, it means an unbelievable amount to me to have your support. I say have, because this is just a battle in the war. An important battle, no doubt, but still just one.

I still have no idea how to post multiple people (seeking, I have seen you do this, please let us in on the secret)!

[bleep]

Indifference.

Lo0p;1048457 wrote: :woot:

...

I fu$&ing knew it, though! I even called the dosage dammit! I didn't exactly tell you though.

I still want to know how you did this. Although to be fair, I see the same trend in someone else posts here, will be interesting to see if I am right...

[bleep]

Indifference.

Lowcountryman;1048481 wrote: Bleep!

...

Then again ,being the sober partypooper I am these days, it's so amazing that it is almost unbelievable. And to be very, maybe too, honest here, and there is absolutely no jealousy involved here, I have my reservations here. I think maybe you should too. So I almost 'beg' you to keep on posting about the progress.

I'm taking the risk of being slaughtered here, but I can and will take that.

...

Low

Low, your posts have always been valuable, this one no less so. Please don't stop.

I thought long and hard about posting this, it took me nearly 3 days. I was worried about bac-mania, and originally planned to not tell even my wife, who has been with me on this from my very first discovery about baclofen "Hey, wife, come read this shit. Either there's a lot of people pulling my leg, or...", but after a few hours, when she kept asking me what was wrong, I couldn't not tell her.

Tonight, we went out for dinner, to the same restaurant I had the window scene after. There's not much choice here! I ordered glass of wine. Perhaps foolish so soon after the "switch", but that's me. I finished it, but only out of habit. Didn't order another, but my wife and I were having "conversations", so she ordered 2 more. I had water, it tastes nicer.

I will continue to post, and let you decide.

Anyone going after Low for his post will have to come through me first. Remember what happened to the window!

Thanks Low.