Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

[Murphyx]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

9/11 was 'an absolute fairytale, a complete work of fiction'

Holy shit! I don't pay attention to celebrity or gossipy type news, so I wasn't aware of the Charlie Sheen thing until now.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! That boy just ain't right.

[Bruunhilde]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

Ugh. He's not so funny when he writes his own lines, eh?

[Murphyx]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

I fukdup big time. I have to rush everything. I can not wait for things. Everything must be available right away or I get bored. So I titrated down too quickly. The result was huge cravings for booze and, as I absolutely can not be arsed to restrain myself when I want something, I downed many and varied drinks last night.

No hangover this morning, but then again no drunkenness to speak of last night, despite the quantity of booze being vast. No physical punishment for my transgression but I am feeling like a complete knob now.

So onwards and upwards, literally, back up to my switch dose today and will stay here, or go up if necessary, for a while. When I do titrate down it will be very small reductions over a long period.

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

Aw, Murph. I hear you.

I was pretty damn close, too, to downing a shit-load of booze last night. Two things kept me from it:
Abject fear. The last hangover was fucking brutal.

There wasn't any wine in the house and I wanted wine. Still do. May get some today. Not sure. Ramping up the bac today to thwart that nasty bitch from entering my life again. Cross your fingers for me, will you?

HANG IN THERE! ALL IS NOT LOST! TOMORROW THINGS WILL BE BETTER! I know you know these things.
But also, I think the physical hangover is just that. The anguish? Angst? General fucked-upedness you're feeling? That's the real hangover imho.
:h and :ls

[RedThread12]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

On the other hand -woooooo-fucking hooooooo that you didn't wake up shaking and ready to knock back 1/2 pint of vodka this morning!!!! Remember those days? Gawd, I do.

So, like Ne says, all is not lost - actually nothing is lost and something is gained as your experience adds to the annals of what works and doesn't work. Thanks for doing that. It will help me remember that I don't want to.

This forum is so freakin' awesome - knowing that other people have done exactly what you did and everything worked out just fine is like knowing there's a safety net under the high-wire, no? Maybe even guy-lines and harnesses while we traverse the thin line, too, to keep us from going splat.

Please, for all our sakes, forgo the guilt and recrimination. Bac to bac. That is all.:l

[bleep]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

It's no big deal Murph.

That's exactly what I did. Exactly. I ramped up again, and all is now well again in bleepland. Took me 4 or 5 days to get back here though, despite titrating up massively and immediately, so don't be alarmed if, for the next couple of days, you fancy a pint. There's really no reason to beat yourself up, knowing the cure is right there in front of you. Look where you were a month ago, and reflect.

If anything, enjoy it - it'll probably be the last time you want to do it ever.

[Murphyx]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

@NE, Bleep and Red: You know what? This forum does my head in.

I come on here spilling my guts about what an idiot I've been and what do you people do? You say kind things and make me want to cry.

It's just not right.:l

[bleep]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

It's just the woman in you coming out Murph.

Seriously, it's no biggie.

[Murphyx]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

...and then you go and spoil it all. j/k :H

[Bruunhilde]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

:H bleep and murph, you crack me up. Murph, think of it like a diet. Maybe you have to wear your felt cloche and kitten heels to do it, but pretend you once had to diet. You cheat, you eat a box of See's Candies and pizza and you feel like a cow, you feel ashamed, ugly, unsexy, weak, pathetic. Doesn't matter what the challenge is, we're all human and most of us slip up. The trick is to immediately forgive yourself, or you do more damage.

I keep going back to that Unhappy Catholic I've been beating up for so many years, and everyone here seems to have a bit of it too, self-flaggelation doesn't take back the drink or the candy nor does it do the people around you any good at all. Take a minute to forgive yourself and to thank your god that you have angels (your family, us, etc) around you supporting you and letting you fall and get up again, but willing to help. Doesn't sound like you broke anyone's head or nuttin'.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

Am I the only one envisioning Murphy in a blouse, cloche, and kitten heels, bac'd out, drunk and throwing the first punch because someone cut him off at the stoplight?

The police come and he hands them the little card from his wallet that says the amount of bac he's taking and why. He's not in the slammer. He's in the psych ward explaining... not the bac, or the booze. The heels and the hat. (They really should match, ftr.)

(Don't even get me started about the diet. He eats his spinach salad with tofu, checks himself out in the full length mirror and then asks Mrs. Murph if his ass still looks big.) It does, Murph. But we like it anyway.

[bleep]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

Hahahahaha!

Priceless. His wallet, or his purse?

Best you post a photo of that beard Murph!

[Bruunhilde]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

LOL, I think Murph done gone Brazil on that beard, so no luck posting a pic. Or else my imagination is allllll wrong.

Murph, a little aloe vera goes a long way.

[Murphyx]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

Bruunhilde;1073322 wrote: Maybe you have to wear your felt cloche and kitten heels to do it, I have no idea what those things are and I'm not going to search for them in case Mr Google marks me down as a gay.

Ne/Neva Eva;1073343 wrote: Don't even get me started about the diet. He eats his spinach salad with tofu,

Ha, you're close to the truth there; I've been veggie for over 20 years. The difference is I'd cover the salad with dressing and follow it with a mammoth size portion of spotted dick and custard.

Bruunhilde;1073364 wrote: LOL, I think Murph done gone Brazil on that beard, so no luck posting a pic. .

Weird! I shaved it off the other day when I was pissed. My new glasses arrived yesterday and now I can see my face properly. So I'm growing the beard back again tout de suite. It's either that or, gods forbid, diet :egad:

[TracyA]

Murph’s Baclofen (or should that be BacloFUN) diary

A mammoth side portion of spotted dick, eh? And you're worried about doing a search on felt cloche?

I'm sure you meant something different by "mammoth side portion of spotted dick." I can't for the life of me think what it would be. But the line inspired quite a "spurt" moment. There is now ice tea all over my keyboard. Tx, Murphy.

Edited to add: Does it have to be spotted? It seems like that would be fairly hard to come by . . .