Bruun's Titting UP

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

I think the old germs might live in the home for a while Bruun but I dont think they would reinfect you if its something like flu because you would have built up immunity tio it wouldnt you. You do seem to have been ill for quite a while now tho have you seen your doc Good that your still AF im not sure what nyquil is, we have something here called night nurse which is a cold remidy to help you sleep so I think maybe it could be something like that. I was so fed up today of being tiered and unmotivated that I was thinking of going and buying some speed to take, its only that everyone who I have known who is on it is such a mess that I changed my mind, and I once had a bad mouth infection when I used to take it years ago, maybe thats a good thing but Im getting really fed up with this, Im also getting feelings like my skins crawling i think Im just fed up right now. I think I will give that sinus med a go. sorry for moaning. I will be getting off to bed soon I hope everyone has a good day/evening/night whenever you get to read my posts

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Space,

Sorry your skin is crawling, I meant to ask how you're doing with that before today~ are you doing better? I wonder why you feel that way, is it anxiety?

I'm glad you decided against using something addictive, not that all the RX we're using isn't palliative or addictive, but I guess we're on enough stuff already. And yes, nyquil sounds like night nurse.

I got a traffic ticket from a red light camera a couple weeks ago. Mad as hell! $500.00 plus traffic school. INSANE. Especially because I did stop but not long enough for the law, the Law requires three seconds, I probably stopped for 1 second. Its not like I was a hazard. I was driving around 5 miles an hour around that turn. That sum of money is robbery.

:durn:

Anyone else in the US fight one of these and win?

[GingerDust]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruunhilde;1271652 wrote:
I got a traffic ticket from a red light camera a couple weeks ago. Mad as hell! $500.00 plus traffic school. INSANE. Especially because I did stop but not long enough for the law, the Law requires three seconds, I probably stopped for 1 second. Its not like I was a hazard. I was driving around 5 miles an hour around that turn. That sum of money is robbery.

OMG. That is an insane amount of money. I must live in a backwards place because I haven't heard of anyone getting a ticket from a camera. I'm sure the fines are no where near that high here either. Probably because the police are not paying a damn camera company to issue tickets!

I looked it up on line and it looks like police sometimes send out something called a "snitch ticket." It looks like the purpose of it is to either get you to admit it was you driving or to snitch on who was driving. But it's not a real ticket. What a racket. Bruun, I don't know if this page would be helpful or not, but it looks like a lot of people are trying to fight it:

(Fighting) Your Ticket - Red Light Cameras in California

[windycitylady]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun, I've heard fighting a traffic ticket works if there was an officer who issued it. If you fight it, they have to show up to court, and many are too busy or lazy, so it gets thrown out.
But a camera...I don't know.
Btw, that is fucking ridiculous.

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Thanks Windy and Ginger,

This ridiculous thing shows me in a video creeping at 1/2 mile per hour around the corner, driving safely, but technically its an infraction. $500 and $100 more for traffic school!!! ITS INSANE and I am fit to be tied. I'm probably going to fight it just to fight it because the amount is so high. I think the amount should be illegal. Highway robbery.

I wanted to revive this thread to say one thing. A year ago when I rejoined this MWO forum, I was drinking 1/3 -1/2 bottle of Sapphire gin or 1 + 1/2 or more bottle of wine per night. Every night I couldn't sleep well, and I had chronic diarrhea, occassionally GI shut down with rampant vomiting and diarrhea, so bad it felt that my throat and esophagus were literally melting. Times I thought I'd dial 911 because I thought I was dying, but decided just to die. But I didn't die. And I started trying recommendations here and there, and talking to all of you, and watching people heal and people struggle, and did alot of both myself.

So I'm posting for the desperate, you who think you don't want to stop drinking ever, you who think you can't possibly see a life without it, you who feel you could never do it and don't want to do it, that is, go alcohol-free.

You can change, it can slowly happen, and you can begin to see a new possibility. Your depression may lift or it may not, but you will have more hope because when you find your way out, you will feel stronger, and get healthier, and be a better friend/mother/father/sister/brother/friend/daughter/son than you ever have been. You just keep reading, and better yet, start posting your thoughts and stories. Everyone who posts feels alienated, everyone thinks no one cares or is listening, but that's just drunk paranoia. Keep posting for your own self. Sometimes journaling here is better than doing it at home, all the therapists say to write your thoughts down, the good bad and ugly. Just do it. You're anonymous. Who the hell cares what anyone thinks?

I put it all out there. I told everyone about my shits, my fat, my hair loss, my desperation, my freak outs, and they supported me. The more honest you can be, the more people will respond to your need. So let it all hang out. Develop friendships here. Work on them, practice on being social again here. You'll need the skills in your real life once you feel more in control of your drinking.

I'm currently on antabuse. I go on and off it. But what I can say is that I drink 1/7th of what I drank a year ago. And that's huge. Just one year ago, there were only four days I could recall in the past twenty five years that I hadn't had at least one if not ten drinks.

Just keep trying. I'm trying too. And it feels good to finally get somewhere.

[CS04]

Bruun's Titting UP

that is pretty powerful.

[windycitylady]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun, you just made me teary. That is beautiful.
I lurked on here for years, and when I finally made my first post and got responses from people whose threads I'd been reading for so long, I felt like I was talking to celebrities. (I still remember my first communication with you, Bruuun. I thought, man, BRUUN just talked to me! I must be cool!)
Yes, lurkers, put it all out there. It is anonymous.
And it will help.
There's no way that I'd have my precious 2 weeks AF (most in 8 years) without the information and support I got here.
That's information AND support. I don't think one works without the other.
I still have lots of AA phrases rattling around in my brain, and some of them are actually useful.
One that I especially like is "we claim progress, not perfection." (I left out the word "spiritual". Doesn't serve my purpose.)
We may not be exactly where we want to be, but it's better than where we were. And we're on our way. We're moving in the right direction.

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

I also felt the same as you windy, it was like some exclusive club I thought were no one would want to talk to me or like me but this time round it is totally different for me and I wouldnt have done it without eveyone on here. I dont do the journaling thing at home, I have started it lots of times but then just stopped but I have done it on here. I started worrying the other day that this site could close down and this part of my life would just dissapear, god I hope that never happens.

[GingerDust]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun, that was just beautiful. You are right that it doesn't come all at once but a little at a time. I hope some newcomers are inspired to post because of your powerful words. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Bruun's Titting UP

Wow. Thanks, Bruunhilde.

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun,

I agree with everyone. Through good, bad, and ugly we persevere. It has taken me a year to finally grasp my life back. There is no way I could have done it without everyone here and discussing things I kept smoldering inside.
Whether is be adversity or gratitude towards someone or something said , it has all been a huge benefit to my constant change.

I Like what you said:

"I'm trying too, and it feels good to finally get somewhere!"
Ditto my friend!

Love it!:l

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Powerful? Maybe powerful because its very honest, but reading the words I wrote just sounds like reality and I think we all need to know that we can express our version of reality and this is a safe place. Yes people can be jerkoffs, but ignore them and know that there are others like you out there. One thing I think we all learn again each day is that there are lurkers out there benefitting from reading about our personal hell and struggles. It makes them feel less alone. I know when I started reading, I saw too many successful people and it alienated me more. So post your struggles, people will relate. Most people who relate won't feel brave enough or energetic enough to post, or they won't have anything to add (so they think!), but keep posting. It really helps you and others. And I know the first few times I posted, I was totally ignored. I had to learn that you have to contribute before you earn empathy rights, most of the time. Sad, but true. People are so busy that unless you post in NEED HELP ASAP or for a specific drug, you may not get a response. Also, if you ask something that's been answered a million times before, you may not get an answer because its so easily looked up. These are things I had to learn.

Funny Windy, that you thought the person who had the shits and threw out her pants was "cool" - how twisted a universe we live in, eh? :H But I know what you mean, and its intimidating to post in a place where you've never done it and not sure you have anything to contribute.

On the Nal/AB thread, we're just sharing and its been great bonding therapy for all of us. We're not creating immortal truths because we know we don't have to worry about being judged for sharing little things, and for just having a friendship/support group online. I'm sure Roberta Jewell would be happy with this outcome. And she should be proud of herself for helping so many of us. I sincerely hope she realizes how much she has done here. Where would we be, otherwise? I'm sure I'd still be in the bottle 7 days a week and even more desperate and hopeless than ever.

[taw]

Bruun's Titting UP

Wow!! Just wow! Not feeling much like working so getting caught up on some threads...You speak the truth! you need to ask for help to get it!

You sound so healthy and happy! Good for you, Bruun! Keep it up!

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Yo taw, how goes it with the smokes?

[taw]

Bruun's Titting UP

Not good with the smokes! But one battle at a time!! But I will definitely smoke less without drinking.

Oh, I got one of the photo tickets too! Mine was $150.00! Much better than $500.00 but still, OUCH!!! We have them all over here!

How are you doing?????