Bruun's Titting UP

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Is - one hunk comin' your way. I really admire you for sticking to the diet part of this. That was a real challenge for me back when I did the anti-candida / yeast free thing along with the protocol of supplements to clear that up. (and here I am challenging yeast overgrowth as well as other problems since I let SUGAR back in, dang it!!!!) I am glad to here that the symptoms are coming under better control with the changes you have made. Will be interesting to hear what the docs have to say. (hopefully something useful!)

Sounds like you have a great plan in place to handle the bachelorette party. I am still amazed to be able to go somewhere and like you describe - focus on the frienship and conversation, etc. rather than "where's my glass and how do I keep it full!" I am still challenged with feeling 100% comfortable in a truly heavy drinking situation. Although I am also finding that "truly heavy drinking situations" of my past are not necessarily REALLY truly heavy drinking situations. How on earth do those people nurse one or two drinks all night? Well, sounds like YOU have found a way to do it!!! There are times I am curious how it would feel to be able to do that in a truly normal way. But not curious enough at this stage to try any meds to be able to get there. So I guess I will just keep plugging along in my abstinent state! Will there be a male stripper at said bacheloretty party? :H

Reggie, did you just delete your post????? :l I should have quoted it! Glad to see you checking in at the Bruun 5* hotel. I have the same experience as it sounds you do - a one day at a time gig. I hope you are well and are keeping your recovery spirit hopeful!

Hi Brutus!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Reggie;1196210 wrote: Sorry i did DG ..I have major commitment issues I am scared of the shadow I left behind if you get my drift ..otherwise I am a well balanced fool.

I am a fool and not all that well balanced. So you've sure got one up on me there!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi Reggie. What a sad poem that is. But it also made me think about how it must feel to love with that sort of depth. I am not there yet. It's not that I don't have people to love, or people who love me. I am not yet capable myself of that depth of love. I am hoping to open up more of that depth as part of my recovery. I'm not talking just aboutr recovery from drinking alcohol, but recovery of my life. If that makes any sense.

Bruny island sounds nice. Is it a beautiful place?

Hi Brutus. Just want you know know I'm thinking of you. I hope you have a nice relaxing Saturday. And of course, hello to all friends.

DG

[Rusty]

Bruun's Titting UP

Thank you, Isolde!

Is,

Thank you so much for your suggestions for my sister's IC problem. She's had it over a month, now, and she's going to see a specialist, but can't get it until November 11. I am going to cut and paste your remedy and e-mail it to her right now. I'm so sorry I didn't see your post until this moment.

If you have time, could you please PM the IC diet you are on? She is SO sick of eating 5 things...eggs, oatmeal...and I can't remember the other two.

Thanks again and again, Is!:h

Rusty

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Doggygirl;1196207 wrote: Is - one hunk comin' your way. I really admire you for sticking to the diet part of this. That was a real challenge for me back when I did the anti-candida / yeast free thing along with the protocol of supplements to clear that up. (and here I am challenging yeast overgrowth as well as other problems since I let SUGAR back in, dang it!!!!) I am glad to here that the symptoms are coming under better control with the changes you have made. Will be interesting to hear what the docs have to say. (hopefully something useful!)
Honestly, so far the diet part has been really easy for me. Whenever I get on higher doses of bac, my food addiction goes out the window. I end up eating whatever I know I should, until the point of being full, and then just stopping until I get hungry again. I wish it were always this easy! And then I was so depressed over the whole possibility of having IC, it felt like my life was over. And when I get depressed, I have ZERO appetite. I don't care what I eat or if I eat. So it was easy to eat the right things when I finally gave in to quiet my stomach. That is turning around a bit though now that I'm feeling better. I had some apple pie and ice cream after dinner last night and it was delicious.

Ah, so got the ultrasound yesterday. I have an ovarian cyst, which explains the bit of pain I've been having on and off there for the past few weeks, and the spotting last week, which never happens to me. It was just the ultrasound tech that I met with, the results will actually be discussed w/the specialist next week. But, me being me, I googled the heck out of it as soon as I got home and it turns out that a natural cure is apple cider vinegar! Go figure! And my body's been nudging me lately, gently reminding me that there's ACV in the pantry, but I had been avoiding it because it's supposed to be bad on the IC diet. But I gave it a try yesterday and didn't have any issues, so I'm back to my 2 tsp in water 3 times a day. Apparently the cyst is what could be causing some of my water retention, and the ACV already seems to be helping in that department. It doesn't explain a lot of my other symptoms though, but I'll take what relief I can!

Doggygirl;1196207 wrote:
Sounds like you have a great plan in place to handle the bachelorette party. I am still amazed to be able to go somewhere and like you describe - focus on the frienship and conversation, etc. rather than "where's my glass and how do I keep it full!" I am still challenged with feeling 100% comfortable in a truly heavy drinking situation. Although I am also finding that "truly heavy drinking situations" of my past are not necessarily REALLY truly heavy drinking situations. How on earth do those people nurse one or two drinks all night? Well, sounds like YOU have found a way to do it!!! There are times I am curious how it would feel to be able to do that in a truly normal way. But not curious enough at this stage to try any meds to be able to get there. So I guess I will just keep plugging along in my abstinent state! Will there be a male stripper at said bacheloretty party? :H

It really is an amazing feeling. When I first became indifferent, I avoided drinking situations like the plague, I was so scared to slip. But I knew it wasn't healthy to be a hermit. The first time I went out with friends and family and found that I was more focused on my company than on drinking, it was an absolute revelation. It was something I had never felt and it's amazing. I hope to feel that again tonight, because for awhile there, alcohol was regaining dominance in my thoughts when I was out. And when I spoke of food addiction, the same thing used to happen to me with food. If I was out at a restaurant with someone, I would be focused first and foremost on the food. What am I going to order? Did I choose the right thing? When is the food coming out? And god forbid if someone wanted to chit chat WHILE I was eating! :H Bac's taken that obsession away as well. And I now watch other channels instead of Food Network!!
That you have been able to stay sober on your own just goes to show what a strong person you are. :l I feel like I took the easy way out, because I just kept failing at doing it myself. Though even with the bac, sometimes I do need to dig a little deeper and dismiss thoughts of drinking. It's just easier now.

[Rusty]

Bruun's Titting UP

Is,

Sorry...x-post. Ovarian cysts are extremely painful. Are you going to have surgery? How well I know the misery of female problems. I had cysts and endometriosis...and then had a hysterectomy at 39. I have 1 ovary left so I still have a little bit of "drive," but not like I used to. Good thing because I'm not dating right now.:h Ah, the joys of not having a period. I got to burn all those King-Size Sealyposturepedic Mouse Mattresses!:H

Regarding indifference, yes, it's a wonderful feeling. The odd thing is....when I was with a group of people....out to dinner or a party...I had absolutely NO problem nursing a glass of wine or two all night. I never even thought about it....not even when my drinking got so bad. The one or two glasses didn't make me want to stop at a liquor store on the way home from the party. My vulnerable times were when I was home alone and it was the weekend. I drank out of loneliness and anxiety. I'm on 30 mgs. of Bac....down from 60 mgs..a year ago. The Bac takes the edge off my anxiety. I agree with you...Bac makes dismissing the thought of drinking much easier!

Despite the pain you've been in, you sound so positive, Is. I'm happy for you. You deserve it....always taking the time to post and help other people. Thanks for being here.

xox

Rusty

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Gosh Is - I don't think ANYONE should EVER feel like they have taken an "easy way out." We have all struggled mightily with addiction and the devastation it creates in our lives. ANY way out is a great way out IMO. Whatever works. I suppose it's all relative at a personal level. I tried many times to stop before it finally, somehow worked. (and if one is able to find an effective way to drink in true moderation, with AL out of the driver's seat, I believe that to be equivalent) Then it finally worked. So I suppose in a relative sense, whatever finally "worked" was easIER than whatever I tried before, yes? Wow that is some amazing BS right there, eh? Now I need to just apply my BSabilities to my term paper. :H

Is I'm sorry to hear about the cyst but usually it's a relief to know what's up rather than being worried, yes? How frustrating to find that the help for one thing (ACV) is a risk with the other thing. Hopefully your meeting with the doc next week will go well and you will have a clear path to dealing with the cyst.

I am a foodie. OMG. I'm glad for you that bac helps with that too!

Rusty, I still have all my parts but very little motivation. :upset: Actually, with no motivation it doesn't bother me at all but my poor husband.....

I can relate to what you said about drinking with wild abandon at home alone on the weekends. Boy oh boy. There was a time when it was relatively easy to "control myself" when out with others where I really needed to - such as a business dinner. Of course I couldn't wait to get out of there and get to the nearest bar, or the stash at home. Later on, I really lost the ability to limit myself in any situation. I can't tell you how many times I made an ass of myself after sneaking to the bar for "private shots" etc. What a friggin' mess. It's good to not be living that way any more - AMEN?

Hope everyone is having a great day. My Human Development reading continues to be stressful as I can't help but look at things in my past that are just aggravating. (adolescent development is the current topic of interest) I keep reminding myself that 1) I only have to take this class once and 2) it's half way over.

DG

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Rusty;1196761 wrote: Is,

Thank you so much for your suggestions for my sister's IC problem. She's had it over a month, now, and she's going to see a specialist, but can't get it until November 11. I am going to cut and paste your remedy and e-mail it to her right now. I'm so sorry I didn't see your post until this moment.

If you have time, could you please PM the IC diet you are on? She is SO sick of eating 5 things...eggs, oatmeal...and I can't remember the other two.

Thanks again and again, Is!:h

Rusty

PM sent.

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Rusty;1196769 wrote: Is,

Sorry...x-post. Ovarian cysts are extremely painful. Are you going to have surgery?
I'm hoping that I won't have to have surgery. From what I understand, they'll probably tell me to come back in about 3 months for another ultrasound to see if it's still there. Then surgery will be an option. I'm hoping that the ACV will work in the meantime though. I've read some really good testimonials about it!
Apparently they are really common, and they usually just come and go. But considering this is the first time I've ever FELT one, I don't think it will just go on its own. I guess I'll know if the ACV is working if I stop feeling that little pinch eventually.


Rusty;1196769 wrote:
Despite the pain you've been in, you sound so positive, Is. I'm happy for you. You deserve it....always taking the time to post and help other people. Thanks for being here.

xox

Rusty

Thanks Rusty. :l
Things were looking pretty bleak there for awhile, but I am feeling so much better lately and getting that, "I'm going to be ok" feeling. It's helped to have so much support, and that I've actually been able to find some natural remedies that immediately eased my symptoms. I'm actually wondering if the specialist will just dismiss me as I'm not actually exhibiting any symptoms right now! But can't hurt to go and see. It's like the ultrasound, if I hadn't rescheduled it, I wouldn't have known about the cyst.

As for my drinking pre-bac, it didn't matter if I was out with people or at home alone, AL was my focus. In fact, being out with a group of people would make me more driven to get buzzed as it lubed me up socially. I'd always been sort of shy and sometimes even anti-social, and getting buzzed helped to open me up. Now bac is my social lube! :H

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Warning

I knew there was something that I wanted to share with you all. It's a song that came on at the end of my run last night. I hadn't really had the energy to run, but it's been so nice out lately that I wanted to take advantage of it before it gets hot again, so I pushed myself. And as soon as I started moving, I was glad that I had. Now I must've heard this song hundreds of times, but it had been awhile, and when it came on last night, it damn near moved me to tears. It was a really good reminder for me, especially with what I've been going through lately. I hope you guys like it too. :l

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tL7cx-EfWo[/video]]Incubus Warning - YouTube

Here are the lyrics:

Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly.
Count your blessings. Seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness. (yeah)
Over and over and over and over and ooh...

She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning:
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"

I suggest we learn to love
ourselves before it's made illegal.
When will we learn? (When will we learn?)
When will we change? (When will we change?)
Just in time to see it all come down.
Those left standing will make millions
writing books on the way it should have been.

When she woke in the morning,
she knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning (warning):
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"

Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi,
we are like frogs oblivious
soon the water's starting to boil.
No one flinches. We all float face down.

She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by...
pass you by..."

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Good one, Is. Call to mindful living and making sure big corps don't rule the govt don't rule our lives while we mindlessly float facedown. In alcohol, in some cases, in plain old selfish voting with your wallet, in not looking outward and reaching out.
Also to your other post, I didn't realize how f'd up my childhood was until I was much older. I started getting called a man-hater and had to look into why - that's when I realized all the abuse I'd had growing up, and lack of protection, etc. All that folds into the genetic alcoholic needing escape even more. Thanks for clarifying my abbreviations, I'm still not caught up on any of these threads, even this one. :l And we're no longer calling Peter anything but Pete/Petey.

Also, check with Rusty about the interstitial cystitis, her sister is suffering terribly. Oops, just caught up a little and see you did. :l
Coconut oil is the best make up remover before bed, instead of soap. Your skin will glow and never be dry again, if you tend towards that. Use only on non-Tspots if that's your skin type, often at your age that's the case Is. Glad to hear its helping with the IC. Isn't it awful to start having chronic issues so young? You know my BP history, maybe you know my foot/ankle history, but I've owned my own crutches since I was 16 and used them a at least a dozen times, thus the BP and arthritis are very bad at my age 49. The al makes it all worse, but the good foods (non-pasteurized milk/kraut/kifer/probiotics) helps me alot. Sorry you can't have so many of the good foods on the IC diet, that just doesn't sound right! Have you tried a liver cleanse? Someone told me that for their patients at a clinic, doing a liver cleanse cleared away MANY MANY disease symptoms or eliminated them. Sounds too good to be true but ... anything's worth trying, right?

DG, I knew you would ace that test and I should have known you'd be happier for the other guy than for yourself. You're such a guiding light.

Reg, love you, thanks for sending this -its precisely what I have had to do every ten days or so ... with work so demanding, so much travel, such tricky discussions with senior management, its been draining. So I DO:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

But now I have to stop catching up, just wanted to say you guys are so uplifting, Is I'm really enjoying you being here but I'm sorry for your struggle and Rusty's sister too - all of us are trying hard, to figure out what our bodies need. Maybe if we got corporations out of our politics so our food could actually contain nutrients and not be 90% GMO corn, we'd all be alot healthier. That and the pills, all the pills - mostly antibiotics I'm talking about - they've ruined our health early on. Theory is also that children that would have died without antibiotics (this is sad and ironic) are the "weak" and would have died in other centuries, and that's in part why earlier generations didn't have the issues we bring to the table - the weak didn't make it this far. I should say, "the challenged" since all the suffering and striving makes for a better person and a more compassionate village. Like this one. Campfire tomorrow, for sure! Today I'm washing and exercising the pup, making eyeball cupcakes for a party tonight (thankfully NOT at my house), and looking forward to connecting with people around the 'hood in our annual get together.

Everyone have a great day, understand your absences, thanks for mine - sorry to worry everyone. Didn't mean to be a drama queen.
:h:h:h:h

Edit: My xray/sonograms went fine, good results, so why am I short of breath? Will keep researching, I still think I have a touch of asthma.

Also wanted to say re giving to children, I volunteered to teach financial planning to underserved kids.

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi Brutus and friends! I'm droopy eyed and heading to bed! But noticed you popped in and just wanted to say it's great to *see* you dear Brutus! Nighty night one and all.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

PS - you are not a drama queen!!! You will have to get a lot bitchier and snootier before you can be a drama queen. K?



DG

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Why am I so full of love here now, when I used to be so paranoid and confused? I haven't stopped the drink, but I've gained my campfire village. Yes, we're building a village here Roo, don't you think? Your thread is so inspiring, love your writing, especially when you use Word! LOL, I really dislike that this system doesn't do the word edit without alot of trouble. I like it to give me synonyms and correct my spelling!

Thanks Reggie, work is going fine, I'm actually managing challenges better these days, maybe its the gabapentin and the bac, or maybe I'm growing up and calming down. The meditation thing helps, not that I'm actually doing it, but I'm listening to a CD in the car as I've mentioned, and it calms and focuses me away from the freak out and road rage. What do you do to keep work from chewing ur arse up?

And lemmee tell ya, the road rage here is out of this WORLD. The young boys with suped up testosterone and the angry of all ages gunning in and out of lanes to get in front of everyone, the young and old on their cell phones not paying attention, the scared and old who are afraid to go 50mph on the freeway and cause all sorts of scary near-misses. People changing lanes into each other and one person figuring out the situation at the very last second ... I am so thankful I've been safe driving.

The meditation CD does make me miss my exits but it helps me be okay about it. LOL, shoulda posted all this in the Meditation thread I guess but I have something else to post there today.

Bruny Island! Think I'll go visit it right now, wanna come?

DG, that love thing, I have it too and my Jack Kornfield CD and all the books I've read say you cannot love like that until you've learned to love yourself. Maybe you should start a Love Yourself thread and we can all visit there with our thoughts. Or you could post it here by the campfire ...

And by the way, I'm loving my diotomaceous earth, Is, big time. And I made my eyeball cupcake icing with coconut oil as well as butter, and they were a hit. Double chocolate with chocolate chips and white icing with a gummy bear iris, a chocolate pupil, and tiny red veins going through the white of the eye. Did you know you can buy that type of squeeze icing for the veins at any grocery store? Amazing how easy it was ...

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruunhilde;1197178 wrote:
And lemmee tell ya, the road rage here is out of this WORLD. The young boys with suped up testosterone and the angry of all ages gunning in and out of lanes to get in front of everyone, the young and old on their cell phones not paying attention, the scared and old who are afraid to go 50mph on the freeway and cause all sorts of scary near-misses. People changing lanes into each other and one person figuring out the situation at the very last second ... I am so thankful I've been safe driving.
I feel ya on the horrible drivers, Bruun. Miami was recently proclaimed to have the worst drivers in the country, and Fort Lauderdale ain't that far away! It's wretched. I used to get road rage something awful, but lately I've taken things more in stride. I always found that listening to an Audiobook would keep me much more relaxed in stressful driving situations, and I wouldn't be in such a rush to get where I was going. Lately it's all about the music though!

Bruunhilde;1197178 wrote:
DG, that love thing, I have it too and my Jack Kornfield CD and all the books I've read say you cannot love like that until you've learned to love yourself. Maybe you should start a Love Yourself thread and we can all visit there with our thoughts. Or you could post it here by the campfire ...

I've really got to get back on the ball with the meditation and self reflection. When I was researching about ovarian cysts, I found a few sites that say they can come about (rather, stick about) as a result of us not being able to let things to emotionally, that we are replaying the same sad movie in our head. And one site talked about the need to be able to grieve, let go and move on, and also gave some references to other sites about meditation (which I've bookmarked). And I was dealing with some heavy emotional stuff right around the time I started feeling this pinch in my ovary, so I can see how it's all tied in. I have since grieved, let go and moved on, so hopefully my cyst will too.
I have A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield. It's a wonderful book, that I have yet to make it all the way through, though I've restarted it twice. I love the reading, it's when it comes down to doing the work that I end up putting the book down and not picking it back up.
Bruun, which CD of his do you have? I'd love to be able to put something on in the car when I'm not doing anything else anyway. Once I get home, I have so many things that I feel like I should/could be doing, that I have a hard time sitting still and BEING. And seriously, ever since I started bac, I've found meditation to have become incredibly difficult. My mind is just buzzing all over the place! I have an easier time with yoga, I guess because I'm moving while I'm doing it, and that actually helps me to relax.

Bruunhilde;1197178 wrote:
And by the way, I'm loving my diotomaceous earth, Is, big time. And I made my eyeball cupcake icing with coconut oil as well as butter, and they were a hit. Double chocolate with chocolate chips and white icing with a gummy bear iris, a chocolate pupil, and tiny red veins going through the white of the eye. Did you know you can buy that type of squeeze icing for the veins at any grocery store? Amazing how easy it was ...

Oh, I'd forgotten all about DE!! I'd initially gotten it for my bp issues, but now coconut oil has taken care of that. I don't even have to take my meds anymore. So what is it doing for you that you're loving so much?
Your eyeball cupcakes sound super cute and spooky!! Yup, I've seen that squeeze icing at the store. Would love to see some pics of your cupcakes! If you take pics, I can let you know how to post them here. Took me awhile to figure it out myself! But I've got it down now.