Bruun's Titting UP

[ifulovelife2]

Bruun's Titting UP

Crimsons, I sympathize with your concern and can indeed empathize.

People, please take a step back and try to understand what is going. The language we use here is important. Words are powerful. Words can hurt people. In fact I remember an occasion in 8th grade when someone threw a dictionary at my pretty, pretty face and gave me a black eye. Words can hurt.


I would like to apologize in advance for this post if I have upset anyone who has ever had a dictionary or any other sort of book thrown at them, or in fact, has been hurt in anyway whatsoever by any paper based product or indeed has ever suffered even the slightest upset ever in their lives caused by any means whatsoever, even if imagined because thoughts can also hurt. Yes, I'm sure I must be adding to your misery by prolonging the appalling agony you suffer or have suffered or are yet to suffer. Yes, I am more than likely responsible and am a complete swine. You're right to hate me.

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Where the heck have you been?


I heard there was a big snowstorm your way!



LL

[crimsons]

Bruun's Titting UP

OK guys, I'm off the site. Enjoy belittling women.

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Doggygirl;1203972 wrote:
LoOp - can we ask Is how your little project is coming along?

Wish I knew! Pics isn't the same as in person, and in person is 3000 miles away.

Doggygirl;1203972 wrote:
It has been quite an experience forcing myself through these testing experiences without my coping mechanism. I haven't wanted to drink. Thanks be to the Universe that the obsession is GONE for me these days. But I want to do....something. I don't know what. I'm sure I will learn how to deal with this in a healthy way. Just have to keep exploring and trying it sober. The anxiety is killer though. But I will also say I enjoy the natural high when I hand in the test and I know I did well. Go figure. It's a brave new world out here doing all this stuff without my crutch!

That is awesome to hear, DG. About the obsession being gone. I understand the feeling of wanting to do SOMETHING.
I've been dealing with some crippling anxiety too lately. I've been waking up with it, and it sticks with me throughout the day. Been quite a few weeks of this now. No reason for it that I can tell, but it has the tendency to leave me unable to function on occasion. I'm trying to stay away from the xanax as much as I can.

Doggygirl;1203972 wrote:
AHHH I wish we were huddled up arond the campfire tonight in person. :hug: Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Special hugs to Is and your knees!

I wish we all were too!! And thanks DG and Roo for the hugs and good vibes for my knees! I hope that it will help. This week I'll start doing the rehab exercises and hopefully will start to get some relief.

In an effort to try and stay out of my head (I've been dwelling deep in there way too much lately, which only makes the anxiety worse), I've been getting out of the house as much as possible this weekend and spending time with people. I find that helps immensely. Friday night I went out to dinner with my ex to belatedly celebrate the sale of our house. He listened to my latest curveball story about my knees and was nothing but supportive. We had a nice time and it was good to catch up.
Yesterday morning I went over to my (soon-to-be) sister-in-law's house so that she could touch up my roots (she does hair on the side). She and my brother bought the house that they're in a few months ago, and my dad was actually also over there, helping my brother to do some paving in the backyard. Spent a couple of hours over there hanging out and chatting.
Last night there was an event in South Beach called Sleepless Night that they have every year when Daylight Saving's Time ends. There are free events all night long. I have friends that live down there and I went to go hang out with my girlfriend and her 2 super cute kids. We walked down to Ocean Drive (a measley 4 blocks from their condo) and saw a few of the earlier events/shows. The whole vibe actually reminded me a lot of Burning Man, even down to the strong winds blowing beach sand everywhere.
Once the kids got tired, we walked back and put them to bed, then hung out and had a glass of wine and talked. It was really nice. The wine was an afterthought. It took me a long time to get through my glass and I didn't have any desire for more (same thing with dinner on Friday night, actually).

And this morning there is a free event that I'm going to with my sister-in-law and a few friends, the Fort Lauderdale Jazz Fest. It's on the first Sunday of every month and goes for a few hours. People bring blankets and picnic baskets and their dogs and hang out and listen to a few different jazz bands. I've never gone before, but I do really like jazz and have been listening to it a lot lately.
The house really needs to be cleaned, and I have some other chores and errands that I need to do that I usually attend to on weekends, but this weekend, getting out of the house and being around positive people feels like a better way to spend my time. (Even though it was anxiety about a few things that I need to get done that woke me up early this morning and kept me from falling back asleep!) I'm still having issues with sleep, on top of everything else. I am hoping that whatever imbalance seems to be going on inside my brain (and body!!!) normalizes soon. In the meantime, I am trying not to over analyze things too much. Though I did reorder some krill oil after realizing I'd been out for awhile. I've been really lax about making sure I eat salmon and tuna on a weekly basis as well. That might not have anything at all to do w/how I've been feeling lately, but it sure makes me feel better to be proactive! :H

Hope that everyone is having an enjoyable weekend! It's so nice to be able to come sit by the campfires in Bruun's and Roo's threads and catch up with everyone. Even when I don't have it in me to contribute, I'm here reading and soaking up the good vibes from everyone. Thanks to all of you for that! :l

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

crimsons;1204207 wrote: OK guys, I'm off the site. Enjoy belittling women.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, never happened here? You must have your sites screwed up?




LL:l

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

women of the world, we are united! a nice fire, btw, burns at my side. anyone wanna come and help me sweep? wash the floors? ergh. i'd rather read!

but anyway, krill oil, huh? what's with that? but a light went off when you mentioned it, is. you know how my appetite has been all screwey? well, some of that was the bronkaid, which i've been managing to stay off, fortunately. but the appetite remains a bit odd, and i find myself all through a long evening just nibbling little bits here and there. then, when i crawl into bed dog tired around 10 - midnight, my body a heap on the bed, my stomach lurches in a growl and throws me into the kitchen, where i've been making smoked mackerel with scallions and mayonnaise, and eating the whole shebang on crackers. last night, i didn't stop there. i went on to some brie and more crackers. and scrounged for a sweet but found none. i think when i finally relax enough is when my appetite kicks in. guess i'd better just relax overall. and eat more fish oil.

g'day, all!

xo ru

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Rudy,

I had asthma as a kid. I still remember the last one. I was a softball pitcher, and I was GREAT. Against the team for number one. I caught a fly from their number one hitter and fell down on the mound; I couldn't breathe. Ambulance and crap........
I had one more attack when I had my 22 year old, right after birth. Never again.

What I am getting at is Bronkaid was my life! But, I hated it. I never liked how it made me feel. I really don't like you guys taking it for any reason. Please be careful with that stuff.


LL

[Lo0p]

Bruun's Titting UP

RudyB;1204251 wrote: women of the world, we are united! a nice fire, btw, burns at my side. anyone wanna come and help me sweep? wash the floors? ergh. i'd rather read!

but anyway, krill oil, huh? what's with that? but a light went off when you mentioned it, is. you know how my appetite has been all screwey? well, some of that was the bronkaid, which i've been managing to stay off, fortunately. but the appetite remains a bit odd, and i find myself all through a long evening just nibbling little bits here and there. then, when i crawl into bed dog tired around 10 - midnight, my body a heap on the bed, my stomach lurches in a growl and throws me into the kitchen, where i've been making smoked mackerel with scallions and mayonnaise, and eating the whole shebang on crackers. last night, i didn't stop there. i went on to some brie and more crackers. and scrounged for a sweet but found none. i think when i finally relax enough is when my appetite kicks in. guess i'd better just relax overall. and eat more fish oil.

g'day, all!

xo ru

Sounds like you've got a bad case of The Leptin Bug, my arch nemesis! :stomper:

Can't explain though. It's off to work for me!

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

loOp, i did a quick look and leptin seems to be connected to obesity, so i hope you'll come back and give me a clue...

lushie, thank you so much for sharing that! good golly, i know! i was taking some serious shit and not thinking much about what it was doing to me. i sure hope you'll give some details on what you know/experienced...

ok, now i'm really confused. i thought loOp was in fla, too. please enlighten. 3,000 miles is far!

[ifulovelife2]

Bruun's Titting UP

Is, I know your knees are all sortsa screwed up and this won't fix them but this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJQz3FlTUqg&feature=related[/video]]Knee Massage: Do It while You View It - YouTube always makes my knees feel good, at least for a few minutes. :l

Lo0p get lost, this is a chicks only zone. Go find your own campfire.

[Doggygirl]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi friends!

Is - your time out of the house with good people sounds awesome. Fall is definitely in the air here today, and your description of the beach and the sand gave me a nostalgic moment thinking of Clearwater Beach! Actually it was Indian Rocks Beach where I lived - just north of Clearwater Beach. I'm sure this winter I will wish I was there! I can't imagine what it must be like to wake up with that intense anxious feeling and not even be able to figure out any reason for it. It is SO uncomfortable. :l I'm so glad you are doing things that help rather than sitting around in your own head. It's not good when I do that either! We will all be looking forward to the in person report when you next see LoOp.

Lo0p;1204276 wrote: Sounds like you've got a bad case of The Leptin Bug, my arch nemesis! :stomper:

Can't explain though. It's off to work for me!
Will be interested in your knowledge of Leptin. I've just started trying to learn more about it - am curious to know more.

ifulovelife2;1204297 wrote: Lo0p get lost, this is a chicks only zone. Go find your own campfire.

:H Brenda I love the way you make me laugh!

LL - asthma seems so scary to me. Do you still have it or did it go away when you reached adulthood?

hi rudyb!

Wish you well crimsons and I hope you find a group of people you feel are a good fit for you on your sober journey. The whole world doesn't change to suit us. I am much happier now that I have figured that out. You are making a solid first step though. You can't change other people (i.e. the posters on this thread) but you CAN change you - it is your decision what you read and where you post.

Hi Bruun! What are you up to today?

I did some errands this morning, met with sponsee, then went for a loooooong walk. Now it's time to make lunch and study! Hope you all are having a FABULOUS day.

DG

[Isolde]

Bruun's Titting UP

RudyB;1204251 wrote:
but anyway, krill oil, huh? what's with that?

It's supposed to be better for you than fish oil, as far as the essential fatty acids go. I was taking it consistently for months, but didn't really notice a difference, and so didn't reorder when I ran out of it a little while back. I'm wondering if maybe it was helping to balance my mood. There was a time that I was taking fish oil in high doses for a skin condition, and I noticed right away how much better my mood was. So maybe there really is something to it. So it's salmon for me tonight! Krill oil order has been placed in the meantime.

RudyB;1204251 wrote:
but a light went off when you mentioned it, is. you know how my appetite has been all screwey? well, some of that was the bronkaid, which i've been managing to stay off, fortunately. but the appetite remains a bit odd, and i find myself all through a long evening just nibbling little bits here and there. then, when i crawl into bed dog tired around 10 - midnight, my body a heap on the bed, my stomach lurches in a growl and throws me into the kitchen, where i've been making smoked mackerel with scallions and mayonnaise, and eating the whole shebang on crackers. last night, i didn't stop there. i went on to some brie and more crackers. and scrounged for a sweet but found none. i think when i finally relax enough is when my appetite kicks in. guess i'd better just relax overall. and eat more fish oil.

That smoked mackerel salad sounds divine! I wish I had some right now. I have nights like that, where I am snacking on some of this and some of that. At least you didn't find any sweets! Those are always my undoing.
Relaxing overall sounds like a great idea. I've been unable to do that lately! My head is always messing with me.

I'm trying not to let it right now. I'm doing something completely counter-intuitive in order to do so, and smoking some of that special weed that Roo likes to partake in on occasion. Oddly enough, I've found that it helped me one time in the past when I was really anxious. And it helps give me that little extra edge of focus when I'm doing something mundane like cleaning the house, which I am about to start on. The anxiety started creeping back up when I left my friends, and there is something about the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday feeling, if anyone knows what I mean? It's sort of... uncomfortable. I think I might make a cup of coffee as well. I bought some Dunkin' Donuts Vanilla Nut yesterday at Target (on sale!), and it sounds like something nice to have right now - a tasty little caffeine kick to get me moving. I've got to put away the Halloween decorations, clean the house and do some laundry.

I'll let you know how it all works out.

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun,
I know Beatle may come along, but tell me about 5htp and L-trip vs. Gab?


Sorry, need a refresher!

LL

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Happy Sunday to all, if it's still Sunday where you live. I used to hate Sundays because they were followed by Mondays, but not anymore, maybe its the MWO campfires, maybe its the baclofen. Maybe its knowing that two companies want me to work for them and hold me in high esteem. I know changing jobs to the new company would put that mega-zap right back into my Sundays tho, and ruin them.

Didn't DG or Lo0p start a Leptin thread in holistic? Always seems like there's a new rule to follow and something new to add or delete. I had deleted so much from my diet but I just added grains back in because I've been doing what Ru's been doing, not eating much all day but then middle of the night, eating up uneaten supper and lunch! The dog and cat are both getting used to the lights being on at all hours, every night.

Tonight is the night that I get completely off the wine. That is my goal. I did it once this past week, didn't do it last night, but feeling stronger and the supportive vibe here sure makes me feel like I can do it, somehow.

I gots ta join you all in your fitness success and ability to think and challenge yourselves. Rather, I try to not look like a trailer park hoarder when people come over, which means I throw all the mail from the last three weeks into the spare bedroom (the office is full) and close the door. Talk about needing to clean, Ru, but wanting to be reading. Is, I relate totally about being out with people - the trick is finding the right people and the right kind of things to do. I'm also jealous of those of you who had the baclofen cleaning and exercise bug, Ru and Ne, and whipped yourselves and your pantries and gardens into shape. Looks like I'm inside today, its raining all week. The dog is confused, sad. Just put him on the threadmill but that's dangerous to do this time of day, sometimes he looses stools because he can't stop to crap.

Last night I was with a couple of fairly new friends (I'm fairly new to the area) and had a nice time - I came home happy and although I drank wine on the couch in front of the TV, I felt more balanced. I always feel more balanced when I spend at least half a weekend day with others, so long as they're not complete downers.

I wonder if I should try to change the thread title, is it possible? I realize that three years ago I would have reacted like Crimson, and I don't want to lose people in her shoes if this campfire can help her. I don't really want to start a new thread because it will lose all the history we have built together here, plus my own selfish desire to have my own story where I can always find it when I need to remember my worst times and remember WHY NOT TO DRINK.

By the way, I had a dream a couple weeks back but its really long, should I share it for interpretative help from you all?

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

LL- I think Ifyoulovelife2 is the best resource on 5HTP and Tryptophan, I likey the tryptophan for some reason due to what I've read but I don't retain the why's ... part of my sorry brain makeup.

For Ru and Is and any asthma sufferers, I'm reading a book on raw milk - thought of you Is because I'm drinking my weekly brew of coffee with raw milk! Because of the Sunday blahs, its raining and I've saved up all my chores for today and my music isn't working plus the kids who robbed my car stole my MP3 players or else I've just lost both of them ... possible. Sigh. I am thinking of dating that guy whose number I found in my pocket last night just so he can fix my stereo/TV setup. I'd probably have to have some sort of sex with him tho, and he wasn't attractive to me at all. Can I just invite him over and have drinks and hors d'ouvres (sp) with friends and then say OOPS, the music isn't working, can some manly person help? LOL If he doesn't volunteer to spend an hour working on it, he's not worth it.

Speaking of him, both women I had dinner with last night knew him, for many years, and says he has a big heart but mainly he's into younger women for sex, serially. They advised me to pass.

So onto the asthma again, check out the raw milk link in holistic, I'm reading a book on raw milk and Ru you might already give it to G, but if not, and he's got asthma in the family, you might want to start him. I'm back on it after almost a week without, and I'm waiting to see if my post nasal drip goes away. That's one of the health claims, allergy relief. Check it out.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f6...ml#post1204346