Bruun's Titting UP

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi Bruun and co. reading throught the posts on makes me feel sad and lonely, I think Ive always had some kind of social anxiety or phobia, in that I can be with other people and talk the talk but cant let anyone get close, this has got worse over the years and I have discovered that in the past five or so years I have avoided people pretty much all together. I dont mean I avoid total contact as I say I can be expert at acting my way though situations but after them have to come back home to be just me and my sons. I seem to long for someone to be there, but at the same time have a wall around me and find it impossible to let thoses defences down. Throughout the past years I have only really kept in contact with one friend, and she is still drinking heavily so I dont spend much time with her now. I feel kind of envious of all of you to hear about you going out with friends but then I dont think I could do that anyway given the opporturnity.

[SlipperyPete]

Bruun's Titting UP

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too good, Bruun. I just got done reading an amazing book called The Four Agreements. It's actually got a lot to do with what my ex-therapist was having me work on, which is what we tell ourselves, and what we believe about what other people say about us. I really had no idea my own mind was out to get me until I became aware of it, and the key is catching those thoughts, and not "agreeing" with them, and instead making new "agreements" about ourselves. I just ordered the companion book, which talks about bringing that stuff into action. In any case, it's a very quick read, so you have nothing to lose by reading it! :l

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi y'all,

Thanks Pete for both the book ref - I love that the guy is a shamin, will definitely buy it! -and the info on Vyvanse. I wonder if its available from the baclofen rx overseas..... hmmm.

Have you ever read Feeling Good which is CBT: Realize what thoughts are going on all the time and stop them and reverse them. And I do that off and on very well, its just the depressing rock bottom place I dwell sometimes that overwhelms me because it feels like not just one voice but a chorus of negatives coming at all hours of the day and night. Anyways, feeling better today, took gabapentin yesterday and today I am AF. And feeling proud of it. Although I have been drinking and not nearly as much as I do at worst, I was still drinking "abnormally" so I'm pretty happy right now. However, PMS is starting to creep on physically so I'm going to keep popping the 'pentin til that shit's gone (the pms).

Space, please don't feel bad, I am so sorry to bring you down too. Most of us singletons are loners after years of drinking, I escape from potential social occasions all the time. One of the recurrent themes here on this thread and forum is to MAKE yourself get OUT. I always feel better after a couple of hours or more out of the house with others. Even if I'm not with others, I can still feel better just running errands vs sitting around the house becoming gelatinous.

I did that today and felt pretty good, the gabapentin helps alot and making note of each accomplishment and really giving myself a pat on the back helps. Also I'm avoiding beating myself over the head with all the undone stuff around here (laundry is just the start!) because I know it will get done later if not sooner.

Kombucha update. My tea has a mother/scoby, I just left the stuff out for a couple of months and neglected it and magic! So I did the feeding tonight and transferred into a bluish glass gallon antique jar my friend gave me, I feel good using it for healthy reasons and putting it to use too. There's alot of scrum in it, bits I'd probably want to filter out before drinking it in a few weeks - could it be dead mother bits? Mother had some brown on one side, I think she was ill and is now probably getting much happier. Is, do you know?

Overandout...

[redhead77]

Bruun's Titting UP

Isolde;1220607 wrote: One thing I've noticed from the Adderall is once it's out of my system (which is after about 5 hours), I crash and hard. I feel overall body tension when I'm on it (which really isn't too unpleasant, kind of like being on HDB), and I clench my teeth. From what I've read, these things are much less likely to happen w/Vyvanse.
.

The XR forms of the stimulants work well to avoid the crash. I don't crash until I do crash...for bed. Of course, when you're already suffering from insomnia, and need something to sleep this can be a problem. :H I vary from not being able to sleep, to not being able to stay asleep. It's not necessarily better on the days that I don't take my Adderall, however. Then again, the last 2 nights I've slept like a log. I think it's HDB related. The Vyvanse sounds like a good option, Is. I wonder how expensive it is? Is there a generic of it yet?

Speaking of HDB and other things...I've recently developed some severe anxiety. And I really know anxiety, but this is the worst I've ever experienced. It happened right after I posted on a thread that I've never had anxiety on baclofen. I guess I didn't knock on wood, or maybe my post was arrogant because did that ever change. It's almost crippling at times. I don't post much, and this would be one of the reasons. Other reasons exist as well, and they may be making my anxiety even worse but...

My anxiety is so bad regarding posting that I can't even post on the anxiety thread. That's kind of ironic, isn't it? :H I'm feeling good now, have been all day. Not good enough for another post though! I'm seeing Dr L on Wednesday, and we are going to have to talk about this. It's a stupendous problem.

I'm reading a book. It's called In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.
Has anyone read it? I also bought Bruce Fife's coconut flour book. I plan on baking something delicious for the next kid's birthday Jan 4th. No more birthday cupcakes that taste like arse. Oh, and I bought Spark and The Dirty Life. At least I'm reading again without my late night posting! That's when I can calm down enough to read, anyway.

Alright, back to cleaning carpets. I've rented a rug doctor for 24 hours to shampoo all my carpets. I completed the downstairs and now I'm finishing the stairs just had to take a break, and visit since I could. Tomorrow morn, it's the upstairs before the machine's return. Everything will be spiffy and clean in my nest, before putting up decorations. The kids are begging for decorations, ya know. My middle son asked me if I was making things nice for Santa today. I said, well of course I am.

And Bruun, I'm glad your kombucha is going well. I still can't find the stuff to taste it, but I can't wait to read about all the wonderful stuff it does for you. :l

Hello, everyone else. Ne, DG, SP, Bebe, Rudy, Luscious, and Grommet. I hope I'm not missing anyone, but if I am, it's not on purpose. Till the next time...maybe tomorrow if I feel good again.

[ifulovelife2]

Bruun's Titting UP

redhead77;1220684 wrote:

I'm reading a book. It's called In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.
Has anyone read it? I also bought Bruce Fife's coconut flour book. I plan on baking something delicious for the next kid's birthday Jan 4th. No more birthday cupcakes that taste like arse.

I read a great book called 'How not to make arse-tasting cake', apparently the secret is something called 'sugar'. Like you lot, I eat no carbs (I exist solely on protein, coconut oil and mouldy, bacteria laden tea) so 'sugar' has never before crossed my consciousness but apparently it tastes really good. Yeah, I know, the concept of something tasting good was quite alien to me too.

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

you are funny brenda

[Cassander]

Bruun's Titting UP

redhead77;1220684 wrote:

Speaking of HDB and other things...I've recently developed some severe anxiety. And I really know anxiety, but this is the worst I've ever experienced. It happened right after I posted on a thread that I've never had anxiety on baclofen. I guess I didn't knock on wood, or maybe my post was arrogant because did that ever change. It's almost crippling at times. I don't post much, and this would be one of the reasons. Other reasons exist as well, and they may be making my anxiety even worse but...

My anxiety is so bad regarding posting that I can't even post on the anxiety thread. That's kind of ironic, isn't it? :H I'm feeling good now, have been all day. Not good enough for another post though! I'm seeing Dr L on Wednesday, and we are going to have to talk about this. It's a stupendous problem.

...

Hi Red

If you feel like it, please do explain more about the anxiety thing you are experiencing...do you think its bac-related or is there another explanation...

There is so much we still don't know!

I guess its unlikely (and it might be pretty weird) if bac eliminated all anxiety, wouldn't it? I mean, there's plenty of stuff to be legitimately anxious about, right? I think what bac often does is tamp down the generalized anxiety about nothing in particular and especially the generalized anxiety that drives us to drink...

Anyway, please tell us what you're thinking when you feel like it.

Cass

PS So glad you've picked up Spark. Please let us know what you think about it, too!

[redhead77]

Bruun's Titting UP

ifulovelife2;1220695 wrote: I read a great book called 'How not to make arse-tasting cake', apparently the secret is something called 'sugar'. Like you lot, I eat no carbs (I exist solely on protein, coconut oil and mouldy, bacteria laden tea) so 'sugar' has never before crossed my consciousness but apparently it tastes really good. Yeah, I know, the concept of something tasting good was quite alien to me too.
Can things taste good? :H Really, I still won't eat too much sugar. Luckily many of Bruce Fife's recipes have lower sugar versions. He uses half sugar and half stevia for many of them. I guess they're still low on the glycemic index even with the sugar, but still. Thanks for the tip Brenda!

Cassander;1220836 wrote: Hi Red

If you feel like it, please do explain more about the anxiety thing you are experiencing...do you think its bac-related or is there another explanation...

There is so much we still don't know!

I guess its unlikely (and it might be pretty weird) if bac eliminated all anxiety, wouldn't it? I mean, there's plenty of stuff to be legitimately anxious about, right? I think what bac often does is tamp down the generalized anxiety about nothing in particular and especially the generalized anxiety that drives us to drink...

Anyway, please tell us what you're thinking when you feel like it.

Cass

PS So glad you've picked up Spark. Please let us know what you think about it, too!

I will write about it maybe in a couple of days, Cass. I'll write about my anxiety where I should though, on your thread. First I'd like to see Dr L and talk about it with him. See if what I'm doing continues to work. I don't want to make Bruun's Tit thread all about Redhead. And I might bring back my thread soon to discuss everything else.

Bebe, I wanted to tell you many pages ago that I take
resveratrol too. True story...I had this plantars wart that kept coming back. I battled this thing for years. I kept going to the derm to have it burned off or frozen off, or whatever. It just kept coming back no matter what. I couldn't even get a pedi when I had it.:upset: Next, I was going to ask him to cut it off. I started taking a combo of supps- res, ubiquinol (coQ10), and r-lipoic acid (alpha lipoic acid). The thing disappeared on its own. I even did an experiment and went off the supps and it came back. So, then I just went on the ubiquinol and r-lipoic acid. It got better but didn't go away. I added in resveratrol and poof gone. It's been gone for months now. I'll let you know when I go off again, if the evil thing comes back, but I don't think so. I think I've erraticated it for good.

Okay, enough about me and my warts...

Bruun, I'm glad you got out yesterday. It's good for the soul. I went to lunch with a friend too, and it was really nice. I like to hole myself up sometimes too. And the PMS, don't even get me started. We all know I go a little loco. Keep on popping the pentins! I think I need some of those too if they work for PMS.

Ne, I hope you got your paper done. Come back and let us know how it all turned out. Yippee, you'll be off school soon for a break!

I hope everyone is having a good day. I'm off to finish the carpet.

Okay, I'm back but not to delete. Bruun, pop in and say hello if you can. I want to see you.

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

redhead77;1220684 wrote: The XR forms of the stimulants work well to avoid the crash. I don't crash until I do crash...for bed. Of course, when you're already suffering from insomnia, and need something to sleep this can be a problem. :H I vary from not being able to sleep, to not being able to stay asleep. It's not necessarily better on the days that I don't take my Adderall, however. Then again, the last 2 nights I've slept like a log. I think it's HDB related. The Vyvanse sounds like a good option, Is. I wonder how expensive it is? Is there a generic of it yet?

Speaking of HDB and other things...I've recently developed some severe anxiety. And I really know anxiety, but this is the worst I've ever experienced. It happened right after I posted on a thread that I've never had anxiety on baclofen. I guess I didn't knock on wood, or maybe my post was arrogant because did that ever change. It's almost crippling at times. I don't post much, and this would be one of the reasons. Other reasons exist as well, and they may be making my anxiety even worse but...

My anxiety is so bad regarding posting that I can't even post on the anxiety thread. That's kind of ironic, isn't it? :H I'm feeling good now, have been all day. Not good enough for another post though! I'm seeing Dr L on Wednesday, and we are going to have to talk about this. It's a stupendous problem.

I'm reading a book. It's called In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.
Has anyone read it? I also bought Bruce Fife's coconut flour book. I plan on baking something delicious for the next kid's birthday Jan 4th. No more birthday cupcakes that taste like arse. Oh, and I bought Spark and The Dirty Life. At least I'm reading again without my late night posting! That's when I can calm down enough to read, anyway.

Alright, back to cleaning carpets. I've rented a rug doctor for 24 hours to shampoo all my carpets. I completed the downstairs and now I'm finishing the stairs just had to take a break, and visit since I could. Tomorrow morn, it's the upstairs before the machine's return. Everything will be spiffy and clean in my nest, before putting up decorations. The kids are begging for decorations, ya know. My middle son asked me if I was making things nice for Santa today. I said, well of course I am.

And Bruun, I'm glad your kombucha is going well. I still can't find the stuff to taste it, but I can't wait to read about all the wonderful stuff it does for you. :l

Hello, everyone else. Ne, DG, SP, Bebe, Rudy, Luscious, and Grommet. I hope I'm not missing anyone, but if I am, it's not on purpose. Till the next time...maybe tomorrow if I feel good again.

Oh Red, I'm so sorry about the anxiety, I had no idea it was that bad. Ask Dr. L about gabapentin, I know that helped a lot of people here with mood caused by depression/anxiety. I also use xanax for anxiety, and since I went AF last night I had to take two mg, could NOT crash.

I've looked at that book In Defense Of Food, Amazon keeps suggesting it to me or maybe I've read it, God knows, I read so much but retain so little. Tell us how it goes. I believe its all about natural origins of food and how/why they're so important to sustain for our survival and for the planet.

Ohoh, and the coconut flour book, SO tempted by that. I love baking, does it have chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies?? Please tell me the recipe! Glad to know he's going for low glycemic, that's perfect.

Thanks for the tip on reservatrol, so the hipe really is true, its magic!? And you can post your stuff here, please do, I don't want this to be all about me and since its not anymore, I feel better about it so post and post.



Hugs to you, calm down, everything will be alright. I hope Dr L helps, please update us/me. :l

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Just wanted to add that I did go AF last night without any difficulty or desire. Strangest thing ever to happen in my AL life. I woke up this AM with much less GI upset and am hoping I am on my path to wellness. The song in my head is Miss American Pie, a truly welcome break from the horrible Janis Ian song about losing at love, such a pathetic song. Now I'm rocking and wondering if you can teach me how to dance, real slow....

:h

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Bruun,

Thanks for the message, we all need each other. I really am a good friend and would have kicked that damn ball 'after' burning out the neighbors for you. :-)

You have that Don McClean song in my head. Wasn't it like one of the longest songs ever? I remember getting that record in like '69 or '70? Actually it was my brother. We played it over and over again on my moms record player.
I may have to try the 'pentin. Just feeling blue lately. I started taking Celexa but I think it may be countering the anti-anxiety effect I love fom baclofen. Hopefully someone can give me some insight on that.

Anyway, gonna Christmas shop on line today. Any wishes? What does everyone really want?


Love to all you guys,
LL:l

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

I want a big virtual hug from you all:l Great news Bruun, Im made up about you going AF, have you thought more about the antabuse yet, let me know what you decided. I havent noticed great changes with the reservatrol but pleased to hear about the wart I have a lot of scars on my arms and legs I wonder if it will do any good to fade them? I will keep am eye on them. I went to my AA meeting again tonight and have to say going each week seems to be improving my mood, I do like the friendliness and chatting and hugs and am dealing with the stuff I dont like by dozing off during the meeting:H

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

howdy, all! well this is just the place for me right now!

first, bruun, that is truly great about your not-boozin'! i am made up about you and that, too (just learned that phrase myself, it's like our 'over the moon'). that's awesome news.

what you all say about getting out is spot on: what a help it is! sometimes i feel uplifted, truly charged, from a trip to the grocery store or library, where i might encounter a friendly face and have a nice chat.

very cool about your wart, red. far effen out the way you got rid of it!

bruun, i am sure you could find the perfect corner of la for you. it's such a big city, with so many different kinds of people living in it, i think your chances are great for finding happiness there. (yeah, of course, what they say is true: happiness comes from within. but there's a freaking lot to be said for where you live playing a huge role in what you can find within!)

lushie, i'd like a quick and just resolution to my divorce, please and thank you!

anxiety came onto me today for the first time in ages. it was kinda like the anxiety i used to get when i smoked too much pot: visceral and scary. i've been so fortunate to avoid it most of my life, and, having had it today, i am ever more grateful that it's not a regular visitor. why'd i feel it? i dunno. but i just started thinking about this divorce, and what if i lose my job, and and and... i guess i have pretty good reason to be anxious. it's a miracle it only lasted an hour or so!

i have so much more to say, and was inclined to say it here, because the company is so cozy and welcoming, but i suppose i'll go unleash a few words onto my own thread where they belong... (don't know why that doesn't call me these days.)

(red, i have that anxiety about posting, too. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i think of something -sometimes just one word that i wrote, and i freak out wide awake and must change it! so many times i've thought: why the f did i have so much to say?! what nonsense! and that stuff about the joke? don't even get me started... my ego is a fragile thing.)

what did the zero say to the eight? nice belt.

nitey nite, everybody.
xo rudy

[redhead77]

Bruun's Titting UP

There's a whole lot to respond to here, which means I'll likely miss something. But first on the agenda, is Bruun let's dance. I'm so happy to hear that you woke up feeling good today, with the tummy feeling on the mend. Dr L definitely won't prescribe gabapentin with HDB. I think he's on board with Xanax for anxiety. This is what I hear, but I'll know for sure after I talk with him. The coconut flour book has tons of recipes but none with oatmeal, it's coconut flour only. Here are some recipes from the book: coconut chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate cake, german chocolate cake, carrot cake, fruit and cream pies, cupcakes, breads, and pancakes. Are you hungry yet? I even stocked up on the flour. It's not cheap, but it'll be worth it to actually eat some normal things.

For you and Bebe, I don't know if resveratrol is a miracle. It certainly seemed to work for my wart. I want to tell you Bebe, I believe all three substances worked together for my wart, it wasn't just the resveratrol because my wart was shrinking from the other two in my experiment. I first bought the res because I read it's a powerful antiaging supp (along with the other two). I'm always in search of the fountain of youth, and while I haven't found it yet, I am hopeful I will. :H I'm not sure about it's ability to fade scars, but hey, rub some coconut oil on them! Maybe that'll do it. It does increase elastin they say.

Ru, I'm glad your anxiety only lasted an hour. Anyone going through what you are, would have tons of anxiety, I would imagine. If it makes you feel any better, I don't get the joke you posted. It went right over my head. Please do explain when you have the chance.

Luscious, I think I'd like a Kindle for Christmas, or a laptop if you're rich. If it's out of your budget, friendship will be good enough.

Have a good night or whatever it is for you!

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

red, think of what each number looks like. to a zero, an eight might look like it's wearing a belt. yes, the fact that neither you nor brenda got it without an explanation makes me feel much better. redeemed, almost.