Bruun's Titting UP

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hey All!

78 degrees here in Texas! Beautiful day! Very windy, and blowing my leaves into the neighbors well manicured yard! Yee-Haw!

Brenderella I just remembered one of your first threads when I came on here and the "teabaggin"....LOL The smell reminded me of that :H

Anyway,
DG, Ne, Is Bruun, Rudy, Pete, Space, Brenderella, And everyone! Have a great Sunday! I am going to wash my car and let my dogs chase the cats in the neighborhood!

Love to all,
LL:l

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi everybody! What a nice little scene we’ve got going on here. In case you don’t recognize me, it is me, rudy, it’s just that I’m typing in word, so the capitals happen on their own. I just know if I try to post directly, I’m going to accidentally delete. And I have so much to say to you all!

Phew, so it’s good to be back. I have an evening free of mother duties; my son is with his father. I am high on the rush of having gone snowboarding. Thank god for winter sports, for things that get us outside and moving around with people. Some of you have been saying (dg – hi!, and others) that it is so important to be around others, not to isolate, and indeed I agree! Every time I socialize, even for a moment with a cashier, I feel notably happier afterward. At the mountain, skiers and boarders are all there to have fun. People tend to be in great spirits, and very nice, too. (There were three teenage boys to my left on the 6-person lift, when someone had a fall below us on the slopes. One of the boys went, ‘aww’, like he cared that that faller might be hurt. He didn’t laugh or snicker, totally cool.)

So, bebe, for depression, go and get out with people, move around. Like bruun said, have a plan or something, lay out your day with things to do. There’s nothing more gloomy, sometimes, than hangin’ around the house, with a list of chores to do to justify your existence (well, I do that sometimes, and too many of those days spells doom), or a pile of laundry to stare at all day. Exercise, too, my dear, you must exercise! Start with moving your legs, go for a walk. bebe, I don’t know if you’ve told whether or not you exercise much, but please do. I’d be curious to hear how adding some (more) movement to your life might improve things. Pete’s ‘boney m daddy cool’ video would be a great place to start! (pete, that is a GOOD ONE! And you know what? I dance like that! I really (like to think i) do! But not often enough. Zumba class starts this week, though, led by friends, and so I get to go crazy in a BIG way with that.)

You could try 5htp, a supplement that has helped many w depression. There’s also L-tryptophan, which I hear is actually much more effective, but quite expensive in England, alas. They both increase serotonin levels. I have also used gabapentin lately, and it is amazing for helping me let go and lose the anxiety. I don’t know much about it, though, and I don’t know if my response to it is typical.

This was meant to come first: Red, thank you so much for what you said a few pages back, the thing about strongly having me in your prayers and missing me and loving me and all that wonderfulness. God it was so good to come back and read your words! I think your positive vibes have been helping, as I have been feeling much better for the past several days, so thank you. It means a lot.

lushie, i hope your mom is still doing better. you're in my thoughts, sweetness.

Funny all this talk about raw milk… Now that I live at my sister’s house, I’m about a mile from a farm where I can pick up a very fresh gallon of raw milk for $4.25. Too bad I think the cows are mainly fed on ground up corn husks and stalks, and hay i imagine. But even in the summer, they’re not out grazing on fresh grass, which is a very important factor in making milk healthy. But unpasteurized milk is great to have, and it’s a step up from the dead stuff in the grocery store. (…and I’m NOT going to get my own cow –or goat- just to have exactly the perfect milk. I used to, as you know, go to that extent, but I won’t again.)

Ne, you were saying something about tomatoes, and how you’d rather pay someone to do all the hard work of growing. Made me think of how easy it was to plant, to prepare the soil and get the seeds and seedlings into my garden last spring (ok, not easy, but deeply rewarding. But when it came to harvesting, I was a total lame-o (i couldn't keep up with the output). You wouldn’t believe the number of tomatoes I had that just lay rotting and eaten by chipmunks! Next year, I’m going to call on all my neighbors who are of like mind to you, and organize a harvesting plan, such that they come and get what’s ready when it’s ready. In trade, I’ll take some of their help, like with mulching or weeding (but I’d not turn away cash).

Dg, doctors, man! In med school I think they take about 3 credits in nutrition. It’s so STUPID! So many things can be cured with nutrition, but they’re always looking for the pill to fix it. Forest for the trees, folks! Just makes me think again of how effed up is our country, our culture, or approaches to things, and makes me glad I know what I do, some basic stuff that no doctor would tell me.

…speaking of institutions, how’s school going, dg? Just yesterday we ran into friends who were sledding down the hill in front of their house. (There is a stream right at the bottom of this hill, but somehow –in spite of the fast descent of the sled- they always manage to avoid going into the water.) Anywhoot, the sledding dad runs an organization that promotes creativity in schools, project-based learning and such. Well, he got me all fired up about finding more creative and effective ways of teaching. I’m wondering how it goes for you students. Which professors fire you up, and why? What do they do that works?

So, for me, life is finding its balance. I had a few hairy weeks there where the stress of everything got me feeling like I was living in a damp, dark place under a rock. Now, though, my spirits have lifted, my moods have calmed, and I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that my divorce is approaching a settlement. It will be expensive for me, but well worth it. It will be so good to have it over and done with, to take residence in my own home again and move on with my life. Thanks for your cosmic support in all of this. Tough times! …but soon over and done!

Bruun, you were saying that thing about the internet, about how it gives us access to things that were once so difficult to find. Look what we have here! MWO is another great example of how wonderful it is this internet. Sure did transform our lives, didn't it?

Can’t help but share this bit… if my ex and i can’t come to resolution (but I think we will), and we drag our custody disagreements through court, he will surely drag the drinking thing into it, and suggest that I have ‘untreated’ alcoholism. Well, I’m ready with my answer. It’s not ‘untreated’; I have a legit script for a medicine that kills my cravings for booze. I am not a problem drinker any more. The past was not the way to live, so I corrected it, and I did so in large part by coming here, sharing my stories and experiences, and getting the valuable feedback that I got from people who understood me. Thanks everybody, for that! And wish me luck if I do get dragged through the muck. I’m not worried; I trust that my integrity will be evident, and my track record of good motherhood (ie: a well-fed and –clothed child who attends a lovely school and has been tended almost exclusively by his mother for the past 2 years) will free me of any unnecessary battles.

Ergh, enough about me. It’s time for dinner. Everybody, I wish you loveliness. Thanks for reading my very lengthy post.

Xo rudy

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hey Roo,

You might want to have Dr L write a note for the court about how you've been treated and have been alcohol free for xx amount of time. That would be way better than showing the giant bottle of muscle relaxers or showing the script for same, which could just make you an addict vs an alcoholic in their eyes.

Agree with all about the isolating, if I haven't said so before, its a sure depression-maker. But how I loved curling up with the Kindle and reading Harriet Beecher Stowe's novel Uncle Tom's Cabin this weekend. I learn alot reading, and when its raining outside, its my favorite lazy thing to do. Some of the characters in that novel give me ideas about handling my life and make me feel like a whining baby seemingly unable to really give to others, instead I yearn and reach for that which I don't have and worrying about the future. I'll have to break out the new book I have, The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama, so I can have all the answers and fix us right up. Amazon.com: The Art of Happiness, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Handbook for Living (9781594488894): Dalai Lama: Books In fact, he's coming to Southern California in two months and I'm going to try and score some tix.

Ru, that's half the price I pay for raw milk! Glad to see you posting, welcome back! :l

Last bit of yapping I have to add is an agreement about doctors not thinking of food as medicine. Our access to real whole food declines all the time, kids these days don't even know how a packaged burrito happens, they just take for granted that convenience food is the norm. I did too, for a long time, but dieting and going paleo or low carb has retaught me the meaning of food as medicine. I'm careful that most of the food I buy is organic and pasture raised whenever possible. Speaking of which, maybe I'll make bison meatballs for dinner tonight, before it grows green hair growing old in the fridge.

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi all, you are all so right about getting out and socialising and not sitting on my bum at home alone, today I went to the centre I have started attending for peeps with mental health problems for relaxation group and it really helped pick me up, the relaxation was great but also I stayed behing for a cup of tea after and a chat and am enjoying making new friends there. The bummer part is that the centre will be getting closed later in the year because out f...ing b@stard government has cut funding, on a positive note tho there is a local church who recently bought an big old pub to do up for the community (the pub was called the Noahs Ark and the church thought it was a good name for a community centre!) who have offered a room for us to use so I will be out again tomorrow to a meeting about it.
I have had some bad news about my mum today so will be glad to be with other people and have something else to think about for a while.

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Get thee to the Arc, Space. It will help. Maybe you are unemployed in order to make sure you have time for this type of thing and to support your mum. :h

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

:l

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

Space,

Yes, get thee to the arc! Please let us know about your mom. My mom is ill as well and I know my time with her is limited. My dad died 19 years ago..unbelievable.

But you are sober and not giving in! That is a gift my friend to treasure. Your mom has all of you and not some of you!

I need to do as you have and get back into life again. I just hid myself after my divorce and drank myself into oblivion!

Thanks Space, I do love all your posts!

LL:l

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

Were not moving to the arc yet, seems we still have the centre for a while which is good but funding for staff is going so I have volunteered to go on a peer mentoring course so we can keep some groups going ourselves. Your right Lush being sober is the greatest gift I have to give my mum, shes not too good but is refusing any help, I will try to get to see her later, my bloody car has a flat tyre, I cant get the gas to come on so Ive go no heat of hot water and my dog has a sore eye and needs the vets which is about a 30 min drive away, not a good start to the day but I'll do my best.

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

Sorry to hijack your thread Bruun. How are you doing Lush are you still taking the antabuse and the bac? And your right Bruun, maybe Im meant to be unemployed right now so I can get my life together right and do these other things, I cant imagine how Id cope if I had to juggle work with everything else, in fact I know I wouldnt be able to, I wouldnt be involved with the centre for a start and also there would be no-one to take the dog the vets and thats before getting my tyre sorted and listening to the hypne cd's and getting joe to school etc. etc.... living seems to be a full time commitment right now:l

[ifulovelife2]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hello campers!

I took a heavy fall (actually a flip, spin and crunching splat) on my coccyx on Sunday, whilst practicing a winter sport. I am now in not inconsiderable pain. The funny thing is, if I still had that extra 100 pounds I lost since June, I would probably have had a much softer landing, on a nicely padded arse, and wouldn't whine like a baby every time I sit down and get up.

The moral of the story is: being fat is good for you. Diet at your own risk.

Now, I'm off to buy some calorie-packed pastries and fancy French cheeses because I can't risk any more skinny-boy related accidents.

As you were!

[LadyLush]

Bruun's Titting UP

LOL, Brenderella!
Love your Avatar and your signature line! I think?

Space,
Yes I am on both again. I was staying away from the Antabuse but the cravings and the wanting to escape was controlling my thoughts again.
I am on low dose Bac right now because of the good it does my anxiety and depression.
The Antabuse makes me not even think about stopping at a convenience store on the way home.
I don't know about you but I have no side effects whatsoever with the Antabuse. I am taking 100mg. every other day and that is enough to keep me sober.

Let me know how it is going for you on both though I think I have been following your results on different threads.
I don't think Bruun considers us hijacking but talking across the campfire!
She makes us feel okay to do that!:l

Great day everyone!
I will check in later!
LL:l

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Brender, so sorry about your cox whatever, I hope it heals itself quickly! You'll be happy to know I cheated on my diet the past two days so unlikely that I'll have that lack of padding anytime soon so I should go out there and ski or something only it happens to be 73F outside.... wahhhh! LOL

Space, that is a sh*tload of challenges for one day! Gees. I'm so glad you're sober for this. I'm sure you'll soldier though and come out happy at your accomplishments! You'll do great, it will all come around.

And you're right, this is not "my thread" but more of a community center. An Ark!

Lush, do you have any insider info on getting a great free refi?

So here's some interesting (to me and maybe some of you) news. I sent in a saliva test to 23&Me to do some gene testing a while back. Apparently I have this gene COMT which has been associated with human pain perception in several studies and my rating on the gene says I'm the most sensitive to pain type out there. Its interesting because I've always thought I was stalwart though pain thus tolerant of it, although as I think more about it, I realize I've just endured, I even find deep tissue massage excruciating when they go all out on me. So we all feel pain differently. Hmmm. I guess I don't have to be overly judgemental (of myself) if I feel I'm being a whimp. On the plus side, I'm resistant to norovirus (stomach flu) and I'm apparently one of the lucky few!

I'm still trying to figure out if Naltrexone will work for me, which is one reason I got this gene reporting done. beatle, if you read this, let me know if you ever got around to doing this. EDIT: I'm the least likely of three genetic types to respond to Naltrexone therapy.

[RudyB]

Bruun's Titting UP

bruun, i've cringed from deep tissue massage. i don't think it says much about your pain tolerance that same made you say 'ow', though your saliva test might be carrying a message.
dag nab it anyway for being sensitive to pain!

yapping! ...yeah, woman, i love doing that! and listening to you do it, too!.

lushita, my lushie ~ hello, woman!~ good that pharmas are helping to keep you sober. ain't it good to be functioning again, as we were meant to be?! so good to hear that things are going well for you. i love you!

bruun, good ol' dali lama, huh?! yes, please distill his book into your wisdom posted here. once, a long time ago -oh, maybe thirteen years ago- i went to see the dali lama speak in central park. i saw him on a giant screen that was a hundred yards away. the park was full, and the event was free. i went with my dear friend, with whom i spoke today, who wore her rain boots through the post-rain puddles, and her long brown hair in braids. lots of wisdom in the messages he brings, that dear dali.

thanksie panksie, bruun, for the welcome back. yep, i've made my return with a super-long hello on your thread, huh? today, i shall try to be more prudent with my post.

mis amores, guess what?! ...i've reached -unofficially, but most certainly- a settlement with my ex!!! that means that my life can soon resume beautifully, as it was before.
clap your hands everybody, everybody clap your hands!!!

...watch how suddenly i'll love life again, and have hope at the start of every day, feel no need to smile. man, that'll be nice. i can feel it happening already...

wishing everybody else the warmth of new hope.
xo rudy

[Bruunhilde]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi Rudy, so glad to hear things are looking up! Your whole life will open up once you settle, and you can be yourself again. I wish you all the best, I do!

Today I woke up hungover. SHIT. I'm so thinking about taking myself on a vacation to freedom with ibogaine or something. Everything sucks when you look at life through shit brown goggles of a martini morning-after.

Speaking of shit, my pup stepped in his own shit outside and tracked it in to the house, all over the place. I stepped in it and tracked it around thinking, there's a really bad smell and it can only mean one thing. Everywhere I look, shit shit shit. F******!

My just desserts, eh, for drinking? And so much for my freaking diet. I can stay on it and lose a half pound daily, unless I drink. Martinis themselves jack my weight loss completely. Its amazing how much it impacts my weight. And my outlook. So unhappy I went back to that ... I should never have had that cheat Sunday with my relative, it opened the floodgates of hell.

So, I am resolved to be AF again. Ridiculous, I know. And I'm smelling shit again. Ah yes, bottom of my shoe...

Things will get better, I am positive. I am rededicated. Have a good day all, I hope you all have sober quality time and joy.

:h

Laugh for the day: The San Diego Airport posted a severe weather warning and since its sunny and 72F, I wondered whatever could it be? Here it is: High Surf Advisory until 2 am PST, Sat., Jan. 28, 2012 Watch out you surfers! LOL

Where is everybody? DG & NE, both of you how's school?

[spacebebe01]

Bruun's Titting UP

Hi Bruun, would you consider trying antabuse to get some AF time under your belt?