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    #1636
    Bruun's Titting UP

    Hi Space, yep, I would, thanks for the reminder that it works. I have five tablets somewhere here, if I could find them I could use them on days I "want" to fail. I'm determined to be good going forward. I am going to lose this weight!

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      #1637
      Bruun's Titting UP

      Good that your feeling positive Bruun, Im not knocking your plan, whatever works for you but I know I have to take antabuse everyday because I dont feel strong enough to take it just when I want to drink. Right now I feel so crap that I would really love to just go and get a bottle and get drunk, that would get me to the desired place fast, if I was to be waiting for this feeling to happen theres no way I would take the pill, I would be off to the off licence (I dont know what you call the shop that sells booze there in US) . Sorry I went into one a bit there, Im so glad that I cant go and drink.,

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        #1638
        Bruun's Titting UP

        I know what you mean, Space, having the choice removed is powerful. I can do it when I'm dieting hard, because I crave food more than alcohol on a very strict diet, which is a new experience! Of course I still would drink if I felt I could, but I am able to switch some nights, that choice off. And if I keep busy in the late afternoon/early evening. That seems to be hardest, because I'm alone and no one but you guys know what I get up to!

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          #1639
          Bruun's Titting UP

          The fact that we know what you get up to is what has me worried:l Bruun I want you to be happy. I know what you mean tho about craving food when you are on a diet. I joined a slimming club last year and left because all I was thinking about was food, even the magazines that they have to supposedly help just have lots of pictures of food and I wanted to eat all of it

          Hope you have a good weekend Bruun and friends:groupluv:

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            #1640
            Bruun's Titting UP

            Update: Found my disulfiram. I have seven, enough to get me started AF.

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              #1641
              Bruun's Titting UP

              You can cut them in half that way you have 14 days supply, or you could even take 1/2 every other day and get 28 days out of them. That would be a month AF for you

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                #1642
                Bruun's Titting UP

                Great tip, thanks Space. I'm afraid I'd be tempted to drink on that low dose though. I had a beer on a full pill once and I got all red and short of breath but figure on a quarter or half a pill it wouldn't be so bad.

                On the other hand, once I'm off for a couple of days, I won't be physically addicted so it will be easier to take it only on dangerous days so I can save it.

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                  #1643
                  Bruun's Titting UP

                  You should try and get more tho I think cos 7 arnt going to last long. I take 100mg a day but I think Lush takes every other day. I know what you mean that you might still be tempted to drink on a very low amount butI would never try drinking on what I take, so you need to know you have taken enough so you cant drink.

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                    #1644
                    Bruun's Titting UP

                    Hey Bruun! So I recently ordered naltrexone and antabuse online. I bought 60 antabuse pills because they were crazy cheap, 10 for a dollar. My main purchase was the natrexone, but since this website's shipping is $25.00 (!!), I figured, shit, pick up some cheap antabuse while I'm at it. So I could and would definitely send you some free of charge, if you like. PM me if you're interested. I haven't received the package yet, but it's on the way. Also, do I remember you saying something recently about starting naltrexone? Are you still considering it? I only bought 30 pills of the naltrexone. Gonna see if I think it might work for me. I'm not interested in TSM, but thought the combo of low dose baclofen, naltrexone, and antabuse might help me get some good AF time. Antabuse will get me AF time regardless (as long as I actually take it), but maybe the bac and nal would make it more bearable.
                    Hope you're doing ok!
                    "Yet someday this will have an end
                    All choices made or choice resigned,
                    And in your face the literal eye
                    Trace little of your history,
                    Nor ever piece the tale entire
                    Of villages that had to burn
                    And playgrounds of the will destroyed
                    Before you could be safe from time
                    And gather in your brow and air
                    The stillness of antiquity."

                    From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

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                      #1645
                      Bruun's Titting UP

                      What the f**k? No one has tended to the campfire for 4 days? Where the heck are you all?

                      OK, I need some advice. At present I'm somewhere deep in NY state. I'm not entirely sure where, but there's lots of trees here. In fact, so many sodding trees every-fricking-where, I can't see bugger all because of them. I'm bored of the trees. I want to go away for a few days/week, somewhere where there aren't so many bollock-ugly trees. Any suggestions?
                      "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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                        #1646
                        Bruun's Titting UP

                        Hi Bruun and friends!!! Haven't been on MWO much lately since school is back in session. Great classes this semester but MAN do they lay on the homework!!!

                        Bruun I applaud you for pulling out all the stops and continuing to try things. Eventually you will figure out what works for YOU to stay sober. :l

                        Brenderella, How about a sandy beach somewhere and some palm trees? A nice getaway this time of year! Oh - side note. Whatever weight you have lost I seem to be finding. :upset: So stop it!

                        Hope everyone is well!!!! Especially Pete. :h

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                        One day at a time.

                        Comment

                          #1647
                          Bruun's Titting UP

                          Hey Ifyou, great to see you here, I was just thinking about posting selfishly on my own thread when I saw your selfless post and was chastened. I need to be more generous and not just post about my antabuse stash of seven pills and my three AF/diet days although that's hellalot to brag on. Trade you palm trees and a pool for woods! Only please, that lovely Robert Frost poem aside, do hold the snow, I wasn't born for it, my blood is thin even without martinis.

                          Also, why not head south, there's a sh*tload of concrete in NYC, as you know and only urban trees trapped in iron grates. BTW how is your coccyx?

                          DG, I likey that big throbbing heart for Pete you've got posted there, very promiscuous looking.

                          I think Space's thread is where its at these days. Hi Space!

                          Now we just need to rustle up Rudy, Lush, Pete & Isolde, and maybe recruit some lurkers to warm up the fire.

                          Comment

                            #1648
                            Bruun's Titting UP

                            All about me update, selfishly:

                            Spinning around the kitchen seeking calories and carbs, envisioning a dry martini but knowing its the doorway to hell. Made myself two protein shakes between meals today with gobs of unsweetened cocoa powder to keep me sane.

                            Burned ketones today, perhaps for the first time in my dieting life. I've never been able to burn ketones no matter how low carb or carbfree I am. I can feel my body burning things up.

                            Skinny me is an AF me, in my future mirror.

                            Please pray for my success!

                            Comment

                              #1649
                              Bruun's Titting UP

                              hey bruun! while i'm selfishly praying to get back to sleep asap, i'm also praying for you to see that mirror vision when you look at yourself directly. you know, you're allowed to post about yourself on your own thread - or anywhere! that is what this place is for, in large part. one of these days i'm gonna go crazy on all-about-me on my own thread, and i'm thinking it will feel good (and hoping i don't wake in the middle of the night, tempted to delete). we've gotta take care of ourselves, and expressing our process is one way of doing that. when i do, it helps me see and understand what is going on with me. maybe it does that for you, too. so carry on, sweet thing!

                              btw, what are ketones? (i'm sure i knew once, maybe for five minutes before i forgot.)

                              Comment

                                #1650
                                Bruun's Titting UP

                                Bruunhilde;1254964 wrote: Hey Ifyou, great to see you here, I was just thinking about posting selfishly on my own thread when I saw your selfless post and was chastened..What? Are you new here? You're allowed to be selfish and self-absorbed here. We're each of us working on 'fixing' ourselves so we need to concentrate on our issues. You talk about yourself as much as you like and never feel bad about it, OK?

                                Bruunhilde;1254964 wrote:
                                Also, why not head south, there's a sh*tload of concrete in NYC, as you know and only urban trees trapped in iron grates. BTW how is your coccyx?
                                Yep, NYC is a good idea and I'm heading there for the weekend. But I'll still need somewhere to go for next week. Palm trees, Dodgy? Not sure I have enough time, or money, to get that far.

                                Bruun, thank you for remembering my arse. My coccyx is still painful, after 2 weeks, but improving. Not enough to continue with my winter sports training and I fear my olympic dreams may be over. Ho hum!

                                Where is Pete? I suspect he's busy, holed up with a couple of sexy chicks who won't let him up for air. Lucky dog!
                                "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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