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    Bruun's Titting UP

    Hey campers! I finally got some time to check in! Work has been sucking the life out of me lately, to the point that I've got cortisol oozing out of my pores. I've been continually reminding myself this week not to let it become so overwhelming. The best that I can do is the best that I can do, and if I can't get to everything every day and have it all be done perfectly, oh fucking well. My health is too important to waste stressing over a job.
    Speaking of which, I've been doing this paleo gig for about 6 weeks or so now. Been feeling pretty good, lost some weight (despite not being able to work out much because of my bunk knees) to the point that I had to buy work pants in the next size down. With the recent stress, I've been drinking more often than I would like, though it's still coming from a place of choice, and not a place of craving. And even then, I try to keep the alcohol as paleo as possible - which means no beer and only club soda as a fizzy mixer, spirits are either tequila or vodka.
    I'm still struggling to sleep properly on my own, and taking an amphetamine every day makes that even more difficult than it was before.
    Just about to start getting ready to head out of the office for the day. Actually had some quiet time for a change and wanted to pop in and see how everyone was doing, and give a little shout out.

    It was nice to see that I've been missed. :l I missed all of you guys too.
    Better Living Through Chemistry

    Switched at 180mgs of Baclofen on 1/31/11, and again on 10/8/11 at 200mgs.

    Could've been a swan on a glassy lake, could've been a gull in a clipper's wake. Could've been a ladybug on a windchime, but she was born a dragonfly.
    ~Clutch

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      Bruun's Titting UP

      Bruunhilde;1051818 wrote: Hallo friends and lurkers,

      I'm starting a thread of my own experience because everyone's progress threads have been so helpful to me, I want to help out too.

      As you may know and be weary of my complaints regarding baclofen side effects, I have good news for us all ... for now, the complaints are in remission. I suddenly realized I've felt normal for a couple of days, if still a bit lazy, but much much better. So....

      I titrated up (okay, titted) last night with no problem, but great effect on my sleep.

      Even though I somehow set the alarm for midnight instead of normal waking hour (figuring I might not wake on my own with the extra 10mg), and the phone woke me up (east coasters need to remember that 8am your time is FIVE in the dark hours here and could cause me to be NOT SLEEPING whilst thou are RINGING) (RANT) and then the cat woke me up, and something else but I totally forgot. In each of these four cases, however, I went back to sleep after five or ten minutes. That in itself is a minor miracle.

      I was NOT dizzy when I got up at any of these waking moments, a fabulous piece of news, and I was not sleepy and tired this morning. I feel calm and capable at work.

      The sinusitis is gone, the snoring is gone, the weird breathing issues I had at first are gone. I admit I used the Neti Pot to help me through it, and it was helpful I think in clearing things out before infection could set in.

      I've been on 50mg for more than a month, and finally feel like myself again, only better. I went from 50 to 62.5 last night. Here's the good stuff:

      I don't bolt out of bed stressed about the day anymore.
      I don't lie awake worrying anymore.
      I enjoy my pets and laugh at them instead of getting mad when they do something they think is normal and I think is stupid and yucky.
      I'm just calmer, and I'd say happier.

      Even if I don't move on from here, I'm better now that I was before bac. Bac takes away alot of the angst that made me drink to feel better. I'm not naive enough to think I'm anywhere near my switch, I'm just sayin'.

      However, my plan IS to move up from here, as slowly as needed but I'm newly motivated. Amazing how everything righted itself in a matter of a day or two. I'm encouraged. I can drive and work and function now, and so I can now tit up.
      :bust:
      :grannypants:

      (once I saw them, I couldn't just leave the granny pants out of the picture!)
      That's great news, well done!!!!! I'm on day 3 of my Bac & to be honest I feel awful... Dizzy, can barely walk, heart & chest feel as though I'm about to have a heart attack, vision & around my eyes feel tight... I don't remember having SE's like this the first time I took Bac!!! Can anybody give me some advice... Many thanks all...

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        Bruun's Titting UP

        Bruunhilde;1257931 wrote:

        So I have some thoughts that may stir up controversy, because its about the liquid baclofen from Bill P. ...

        ... I feel much better on this baclofen.

        Anyone using this stuff still?
        I've been using liquid bac from VL for the last 2 days, which I ordered last week (so after the 'meltdown' everyone considers so important). I had to go up on my dose and VL bac was just so cheap, I had no other option. It seems fine to me; I've not noticed any difference between it and other supplies I've tried.

        Last week I read that VL were no longer going to accept baclofen orders, however checking their website, they still seem to be offering it, so anyone know what the score is there?

        I don't wish to stir up controvesy either (me? God forbid ) but are we allowed to talk about VL any more or is that verboten?

        I also ordered taladafil, because otherwise the higher levels of bac can cause a little somnolence in the trouser department:upset:. I haven't tried it yet so can't comment on its effectiveness/purity, but if it doesn't work sufficeintly well, I'm sure I'll be told (by "told" I mean badgered and given bloody earache).
        "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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          Bruun's Titting UP

          Are you "across the pond" now Brenda?

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            Bruun's Titting UP

            Yeah, but only temporarily. It turns out Americans are just like us Brits, just louder, larger and ... errrrrrr ... with a slightly ... ummmm ... different sense of sophistication. Other than that, they're rather a nice bunch.
            "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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              Bruun's Titting UP

              What did you think they would be like:H

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                Bruun's Titting UP

                bruun,
                I have time, let me come visit you
                !
                The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

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                  Bruun's Titting UP

                  Hold on. I am looking into this!
                  The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                  *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

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                    Bruun's Titting UP

                    Bruunhilde;1255838 wrote: Pete...Glad to hear you're doing so well! All AF? Or are you modding, and what is your bac/meds regimen like?
                    Hey Bruun (and everyone else). I'm keeping my dose hard and strong at 200 mg, which has helped me abstain for awhile now (I've lost count). I've been kicking around an idea with some people I know about going out of town for a few drinks and a good time, but it's really just a thought at this point.

                    One thing that I really love is my Sunday nights (Soccer Sundays). I created this indoor team over a year ago, and we've been kicking ass for a few seasons now. Before tonight we were 2-0, and we just played the 1st place team. We won 6-5, and I scored 4 times. I always want to score more, though! Periodically we'll lose a female and have to replace her. If we can't find someone we know, then I have to go on Craigslist and make an ad. I had to do that this season, and I only just now recognized a pattern. She'll give me her phone number, and then constantly be busy on Sunday nights, usually doing something really exciting. Would be nice to replace them with someone I was familiar with.

                    It's my birthday in a couple hours. I usually don't do anything too exciting. A couple nights ago I had dinner with my family. They cooked a traditional dinner for my heritage, which included sausage, sauerkraut, beets, a potato dish with bacon, and 2 kinds of bread. It felt pretty lacking, considering there was really no meat. I just picked at the sausage, mainly. For dessert, my mom made a coconut cream pie, which she had also made for Christmas. All I could eat was the whipped cream and the coconut flakes. I had eaten the crust a month and a half ago, but I'm slowly changing.
                    Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                    George Santayana

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                      Bruun's Titting UP

                      Hi Campers,

                      Been having a little vacation with a friend from out of town these past four days, yes I did sucumb, however I am feeling back on the wagon and the diet. Both suffered this weekend and I gained three pounds! ARG.

                      What's up LL? Are you doing okay? Life, thanks for letting me know you think VL is okay because I have a sh8tload of it. I'm trying to figure out how I will start transporting this liquid when flying, it will have to go in my carry-on in a 3oz or smaller vial. Time to visit the medical supply co! Or I could just use an old nail polish jar. LOL, JK.Travel size shampoo and I'll swig it instead of measuring t. Wow, I'm tired. Booze sucks.

                      Jeremy, I hope you're feeling better?
                      Isolde, nice to see you, hope work gets better!

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                        Bruun's Titting UP

                        AF 2

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                          Bruun's Titting UP

                          Good morning Bruun!

                          Today is day 8 for me (again), but I feel much stronger this time.
                          I had sober days with Antabuse and then hurt my shoulder. I went on pain killers which almost has the same affect (or effect?) of alcohol on me. I stopped taking Antabuse and binged for 3 days. I'm back on the bus again.

                          Well today starts Lent and it is my birthday!:goodtime:

                          I am determined to make it 46 more days through Lent and keep going.
                          For Lent I also am giving up the deli at work. It is expensive and I eat nothing but carbs from there and then sit at my desk all day and watch my thighs grow!

                          I am gonna get some coffee and pay some bills.:sigh:

                          Have a great day!

                          LL:l


                          I have no idea how that thumbs down got up there. I tried to put it after the paying my bills
                          line and didn't know where it went. Now I don't know how to delete it!
                          The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                          *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

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                            Bruun's Titting UP

                            Congrats, Bruun! Likewise, Lady, and happy birthday! Enjoy it AF and DF (deli free).
                            "Yet someday this will have an end
                            All choices made or choice resigned,
                            And in your face the literal eye
                            Trace little of your history,
                            Nor ever piece the tale entire
                            Of villages that had to burn
                            And playgrounds of the will destroyed
                            Before you could be safe from time
                            And gather in your brow and air
                            The stillness of antiquity."

                            From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

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                              Bruun's Titting UP

                              Congrats, Bruun! I hope you had a happy birthday, LL, and a have a have good Lent as well.
                              Ginger



                              You are here:
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                                Bruun's Titting UP

                                Hi Ginger, Windy and Lush!

                                Thanks for the support. I feel good about it and am doing the self talk but I think I hit one of those walls I seem to be able to find these days, the I'M DONE WITH THIS wall that allows me to effortlessly stop for a while. I never had that before MWO. I thank everyone here for listening to me and letting me hear your stories and struggles. It is therapy and support and friendship all together. :l

                                I ordered a bunch of antabuse but didn't get a confirmation on my order so not sure it went through. I think the bank put a lock on my card for online orders. But I had bought about 100 pills to supplement my 7 back at home. Which I haven't taken yet but plan to. I am still eyeing my bday in August as a milestone where I will have less of an apple and more of an hourglass shape. Gut busting is in my immediate future! AF is a necessary part of that.

                                HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUSH! Your thighs are lovely, don't you get mad at them.

                                I had coffee before I got on this 5 hour train ride and now I'm afraid to use the bathroom because I would have to leave my suitcase up here with strangers and go down and sit on a moving potty. Let's see how iron the will (and bladder) are today. So long as I don't cough, I think I can make it. LOL Too bad I'm sick as a dog with a chest cold. If I pee in my pants, no one will know, I'm wearing travel slacks, no wrinkles, no stains. Right?

                                And Windy that 2666 book is cool, I'm just starting it, I have it in my bag for this trip, but I can't really read because of my sinus headache. I can't take sinus meds due to my blood pressure. The baclofen and gabapentin both exacerbate it so it's high even on bp meds.

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