Sassy's bac journey

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

Well done Sassy!

You'll find it becomes easier and easier to do as well, until suddenly it's effortless. Not drinking will definitely make for a much easier ride with baclofen, but don't be alarmed if you do decide to have a drink. It won't affect the outcome either way.

[redhead77]

Sassy's bac journey

How did it go last night Sassy? Any boozing?

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Boozing? no...Drinking? Yes

Hi, Red,

thanks for asking...I wasn't sure what my plan was, but had leftover ravioli with red sauce, which just cried out for a red. I had 2 glasses, 4-5 oz each, and that's it. And it made me feel like crap! Really - I felt a bit nauseous, and it hit me like a train as far as making me tired.

Then, my son said he had an assignment for Health that he needed my help on - he had to interview me about the facts of his birth. Cool. Things like how long was my labor, how he was delivered, how much he weighed, where I was when I went in to labor, etc etc. Also, what was it like for me to be a young teen, go through puberty, deal with the opposite sex, etc.

That one was tough for me. I had severe depression at age 13-16, would cry at school, stay home sometimes because I was too sad, and while I excelled at schoolwork, and actually was on some sports teams, it is all a blur to me. I don't remember "dealing" with the opposite sex. Never dated in high school. Crushes - sure - but I don't remember anyone crushing on me. I remember going out after work to McD's with a co-worker, and then driving around the downtown of the city we were in a suburb of, in a park known for where the gay people hung out. Looking back, my co-worker was likely gay, and that's why we were pretty good friends. I had several good male friends in college that were gay - it was safe. But I digress.

Anyway, I went to my bedroom pretty early, with thoughts of watching a little TV as I drifted off to sleep. Hubbie called to check in, then my son needed to use Hubbie's computer, in his office, which is upstairs by our bedroom. Too much activity. I watched SVU, the news, and part of Leno. I had meant to be asleep long before that, but it wasn't coming early.

I've been having night sweats nearly every night. I wake up drenched, usually early in the night - (2AM?) Then I cool down and sleep well. Haven't had the insomnia others have talked about on Bac. The sweats may be A, may be Bac, or may just be "that time" in my life when I'm approaching menopause. Hard tellin'. Not terribly bothersome, so whatever.

I'm still feeling a bit puffy, but not like I was. I'm was due to go up in dose today from 250 to 270, but I don't know if I want to. Need to drive 3-4 hours tomorrow night. I think I'll wait a week and try to settle in to this dose. Based on how I felt when I drank last night, even that "little" bit, I'm not sure I want to again tonight.

Gotta get to work. Thanks for listening.

[ignominious]

Sassy's bac journey

Hi Sassy it sounds like you've got a lot going on. I expect the night sweats are due to baclofen, other people have reported them. But whatever's happening you seem to be taking it on the chin. Hats off to you.

Driving and bac can be difficult for sure, especially when you increase the dose. I presume you're due to increase by the weekly quota of 20mg. Difficult call. Will you be driving back soon? If so maybe you can increase when you return rather than wait a whole extra week. Want to urge you on but don't know your situation well enough so I'll just say that you sound close and if its possible I'd keep the momentum going.

Wish you all the best.

[Murphyx]

Sassy's bac journey

Can someone tell me if all diuretics work by preventing the reabsorption and retention of salt by the kidneys? If not and they're only making you pee but not driving salt from the kidneys, then surely that will have a negative effect for a bac user with oedema because we need to be taking on more fluids.

Please bare in mind that I don't know nuttin' about biology and such shit and so I hope someone who does can step forward and answer this.

[redhead77]

Sassy's bac journey

Sassy, two standard glasses of wine sounds pretty promising. Are you planning to go completely AF?

High school sucks. I think it traumatized all of us, in one way or another. I need to remember that for when my kids go. That's a ways away, but time flies. Well you know, don't you?

I had terrible night sweats on my higher doses. Almost every night, I would wake up with drenched sheets. It is gone now.

Have a safe drive. I think it might be a good idea to wait to titrate up, until after.

Murph, there are three classes of diuretics. The loop, thiazide, and potassium sparing diuretics. All work by removing sodium and chloride from the body, which in turn draws water out. All will remove or potentially lower sodium, but the potassium sparing, may not alter the potassium levels as much.

[Murphyx]

Sassy's bac journey

OK thanks Red...I think. I am a tad concerned about Loop taking the piss though.:H

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Checking in

Interesting few days...Had my AF day last week - Tuesday? and cut way back other days. Went out to dinner with Hubbie on Saturday night, to a local, low-key mexican place. We normally drop $80-100 for a dinner with a bottle of wine...We got out, with tip, for $30!! He had a margarita or daiquiri, I had A beer - as in one. Would've had another if the waiter had come around, but no worries...I wasn't walking up to the bar or anything.

We have had more to drink other nights, still no "stash" of mine. It's gone, and I'm not replenishing. It feels good. But at some point, I need to say "no" to a drink even when it's offered, and right now, I don't know how to do that.

I worked out Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun...still had "high" weight this morning. Made up a batch of green tea with jasmine, lemon, ginger, a concentrate to add to water for iced tea. Took it to work today, will have one daily. Supposed to be good for edema.

Want to have several AF days...hubbie will likely be out of town again this week Wed - Fri, so something to shoot for. My parents will be over this weekend...haven't seen them since Sept or Oct, as they're snowbirds. Dad likes his booze, so I'm guessing Sat night will be booze laden. I should make a plan for a limit. ANy ideas/helps?

Thanks for listening...I'm at 270 now, gotta switch soon!!!

Sass - a - frass

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

Good news indeed Sassy, it really does sound like you are close. The trick is now convincing your brain that it doesn't need to drink anymore, and getting out of the habit.

Boozy evening at dads - only drink if you want to, but try and be really aware of if you want to, or are just following old patterns. You may be surprised!

Once you have done that, it sounds like you are there!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sassy's bac journey

Morning, sassity lass.

I read Ed part of your post the other day. It made us both laugh, because there was a period of time when we were living apart and 'dating' (though we were married and lived a block away from one another.) Anyway. We were both pretending to be AF so when we had dates, which was frequent, we didn't drink. The tabs for our dinners out were so cheap it was like we were barely spending any money. Ha! Now, the money we save astounds me. I can't put it all down to the booze, because I used to drink very cheap wine (Trader Joe's 3-buck-chuck. ugh.) But something happened!

So how are you and where are you with bac?

:h
Ne

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Tough weekend

I've had a tough couple of days personally...not booze related, but more health concerns and my Dad is really losing his mobility.

Anyway, first thing-saw a derm on Friday for a spot on my face that I've had for 4 or 5 years. She'd seen it in 2007, but wasn't worried. However, it's still there. Now, she biopsied it, and is pretty sure it's basal cell carcinoma. Not a terribly cancer if you have to get one, but still...So I'm wearing a band-aid on my face where she biopsied, but I have the hugest pimple on the other side of my face. Maybe I should just wrap up like a mummy!!

Haven't had a chance to work out since Wed last week. Edema is still a problem, my shoes don't fit quite right. I moved to 280 mg of Bac on Thursday, will go to 290 this coming Thurs. My SE's are rough, and I can't go any faster.

Requested a new Rx from Dr. L for 20mg tabs of Bac, rather than the 10 mg tabs. However, the pricing is weird. I could get a total of 2400 mg of the 10 mg tablets for $10.99. Now, I got 3600 mg of the 20 mg tabs Bac for $63.00!! What the heck? I'll move back down to the smaller ones if they are somehow cheaper.

OK, then I saw my parents on Saturday. They travelled a little over 100 miles to see me. My dad has something like Parkinson's, and he used to be able to get around with a walker, but now generally needs a power chair. It was pouring rain when they got here, so he came in just with his walker.

We're having a good visit, Dad has his laptop with him and has my 13yr old son "helping Grandpa" with facebook. Cute. Dad has a beer, which is usual. Then, after a while, he needed to use the bathroom. Because he couldn't make his feet work, he didn't make it to the bathroom. I think I was in the kitchen starting dinner, and there was a holler. Mom needs a plastic cup. I bring her a short one, not realizing what she needed it for. Dad was standing in our entry way, wetting himself, trying to wait for a cup or something. I got a bigger cup, and there was just high drama about a damp rag, paper towels, something. We were all running around in circles, or so it seemed, for about 5 minutes. No harm done, except likely to Dad's pride. He wanted to keep the big plastic cup near him "just in case".

So he switched to water. Beer "goes right through him". We got his power chair in to the house so he could get around more easily. At another point, he was in the bathroom, but he's unsteady on his feet, so uses his arms to balance, and sometimes rubs them on a door frame. But his skin is so fragile, it just tears away. Again, I was likely in the kitchen, got a call, Sassy, we need you, and dad in the entry way, drops of blood from the bathroom toward Dad on the floor, with Mom trying to stop the bleeding. She wants him to sit, so they get into our living room. Did I tell you we have white carpet? I saw a spot or two on the carpet, but don't care - why is Daddy bleeding? I got a rag, some bandages, and I swear, he and mom were more worried about the stupid carpet that's 17+ years old and is dirty anyway, WHY IS DAD BLEEDING??

We had talked about this very thing earlier, and he had shown us some Arm Chaps he had - leather covers for his forearms to prevent the bruising and cutting, but he hadn't worn them. He even talked about paying to have the carpet replaced. Stop it! It's fine, Dad.

I don't remember if that all happened before or after dinner. Dad, hubbie, and I shared 2 bottles of wine. Plus hubbie and I shared a couple of glasses of a small bottle in the kitchen. It's a lot for someone on my amount of Bac, but it was spread out over time.

I felt bad for both my Dad and my Mom. Mom, as the caregiver, is constantly being beckoned to help him, and it must be exhausting. Dad has always been a very strong, capable, able-bodied man, so to see him weakening like this and the strain it puts on each of them...and us.

My 13 year old also got a workout. Grandpa asked for lots of help with his laptop, and my son doesn't know how to do some things. But he tried. Some of us would be having a side conversation, and I'd overhear my son and Grandpa talking about cropping a picture, and I know they don't have the software to do it. So I'd say, let me help. My authoritarian hubbie would say "Stop, let you mom", but he just wanted to help Grandpa, and Grandpa wanted him to help, but authoritarian Hubbie had yelled "Stop" and wanted a "yes sir". OMG.

My parents actually said something-how they couldn't believe he was being so hard my son when they were there. It's true, you'd think that their presence would make him yield. So after dinner, when the son was out of the room, I said something like Hubbie, I don't like it when you're that hard on my son. I'll say this to you even in front of my parents-you need to try a different method. I am a mother bear, and I will protect my cub to the end. Hubbie came back with how my son needs a firm hand - he's acting out in school, too. My dad said, maybe that's because you're hard on him at home. Wow. I love my daddy.

I could go on and on - already have. Oh, that night, middle of the night, hubbie lets out a yell in his sleep. Bad dream? He dreamt I was feeding cub bears food in our bathroom, aren't they cute, and when he came in to see what I was doing, the mother bear roared at him and thus he screamed for help. Wow, kind of summarized the whole night in that one dream.

I cried on Sunday...was so sad about the loss of mobility and deterioration of their quality of life. I called Dad, and didn't want do anything but tell him I appreciated the effort they'd made to come over, that I was sad, but felt selfish, because he had to LIVE it...again, he played Daddy and tried to make me feel better, "I'm still doing OK, Sassy." No he's not, but he's trying. I will go visit them more often.

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

Hey Sassy,

The difference in pricing between the 10 and 20mg pills is strange. I have noticed it online, and never been able to work out why. It seems a steep price to pay for a little convenience.

I've never had any experience with Parkinson's, but it seems a very rough thing to handle. Especially in your father, who I would imagine has always been a figure of strength. You have my sympathy. Hubby seems to need a firm hand himself!

As to the baclofen - the only thing I can suggest is to split your dose as much as possible. Saying that 290mg's is still a lot of baclofen, so there will be SE's. Some can be alleviated slightly, but in my experience, the best way to prevent them is to power on through to indifference and then you can address them. You seem to have realised this, and look to be doing fine!

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Update-time for bed, and I haven't had anything to drink today!! Had a school meeting for my son this evening, and wanted to get his hair cut before the meeting. Came home maybe 45 minutes ago. and hubbie has a bottle of white wine open, and offered me some. I grabbed a soda, because I was thirsty, and also to see if I could do this. Called Dr. L, he said not to worry about the edema unless it gets worse. Got about half a dozen books from the library about finding purpose in the second half of life, finding your dreams, etc etc. Will work out tomorrow - I MUST! - and hopefully get some decent rest. Sleep has been fitful, sweaty, and generally I feel HOT! (Warm, not so much the other hot-remember, I'm retaining water-that's for you, Murph!):bigwink:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sassy's bac journey

SassyLassy;1119439 wrote: I haven't had anything to drink today!!

Woop-woop! Yeah, sassy! Feels good, doesn't it.

I'm really sorry about your dad and your husband's reaction and your weekend in general. Ouch. Painful stuff to experience, and now especially.

Murph is awol for the moment. Off galavanting with trees or sheep or something. Whatever they do for fun in Wales. He said if the weather was good he'd be gone for a week or more. Glad it rains so much over there. Not that I'm wishing bad weather on the guy... just sayin
:ls
Ne

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Got the word - the "c" word

Got two messages on my voice mail today.

One, my new refrigerator is in...yea! Another step closer to a finished kitchen. We get it tomorrow.

The other message was from my dermatologist. I'd been in for a biopsy on Friday, and was told that I likely had skin cancer. But got the confirmation today. Sad, sitting in my office, I felt alone and so "by myself". I sought out a co-worker, and apologetically said, "I need to talk, do you have a minute?" Luckily, she said yes.

Basal cell carcinoma. Now my question is, do I tell the "surgeon" (I'm sure it's just a quick novacaine and cut kind of deal) that I'm on 280 mg of Bac/day? Do I need to go in to that? What do I risk by telling, and also, what do I risk by not telling?

Felt like I "deserved" a drink tonight, and had 4-5 standard glasses of wine. No private stash anymore, so whatever is there, is there, and I don't have more I can tap in to.

Need to re-wire my brain, though, so that when I get bad news, or have a trying day, or even a great day, and want to drown myself or celebrate, there are options other than wine.

This Sassy needs some sleep.!!!