Sassy's bac journey

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

What a shit piece of luck Sassy. It all seems to pile in at once. What's the prognosis? Despite living in a very sunny climate, it is surprisingly not an issue here, so I know nothing about it.

I see no harm in telling the surgeon. It's none of his business why you are on it, but he may need to know for some other reason. It is unlikely he will know exactly how it will interact with anything he may do, given that the dosages are unlike anything that has been studied, so be prepared for a lecture of some sort!

At least your wine would have been nicely chilled in your new fridge!

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Can't sleep. I'm so tired, but when I lay down, I feel like I have to keep moving or my limbs will fall asleep. Can't get comfortable, and I feel like I'm not breathing enough. not an expert, but I wonder if my blood pressure is way low. I'm not dizzy, but feel like my muscles, my lungs, my circulation, all slow WAY DOWN when I go to bed. Maybe I should take my last dose of Bac earlier...I think Cinders said something about that...Gotta be up in 4 1/2 hours, and I'm not a low-sleep functioner.

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

The not breathing enough is a common feeling on baclofen. Your intercostal muscles and diaphragm are all a bit too relaxed for their own good! Nobody has come to harm yet because of it.

Definitely fiddle around with the timing of your doses prior to going to sleep if it is causing this. Insomnia is a common complaint, and as far as I know, the timing is really the only thing you can play around with. I have used Amitriptyline for sleep in the past and it has worked for me.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sassy's bac journey

Morning, sassity lass!

I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from the bridge of my nose about 3 years ago. No worries! Well, except for the sun. And future carcinomas. And a long horrible death from melanoma. I jest. Sorry, really, if you're not in a jesting mood.

Here's the thing. I had this spot on my nose for years. i mentioned it to the doc in a rehab once and he blew me off. I blew the spot off. I knew it was something and the bad skin cancers are very prevalent in my fair-skinned redheaded family. VERY. But I was a drunk, couldn't be bothered, would rather live in the fear. By the time I got it looked at I had to have surgery and a pseudo-skin graft. Not a happy thing, trust me. The scar is a daily reminder of the fact that I was unable to take care of myself for years.

That said, noone else notices it, so they say, and it's on the bridge of my nose. My surgery was pretty dramatic because the cancer had gone pretty deep. It was a shitty experience. Yours doesn't have to be, because sister, you are taking care of business. And you've got A LOT of business going on!

Yes, I would tell the doctor the truth, the whole truth about the bac, especially if you have to be under general anesthesia. The risks are too great otherwise, imho. I would request of him/her that he/she leave it out of your records and say that your psychiatrist is prescribing officially for anxiety/depression. Or you could say muscle spasms. Whatever. S/he should know you're taking bac, and that you drink too much. imho. Or maybe just about the bac. But definitely about the bac, I think. I even tell my dentist and my gyn at this point. Though the dentist doesn't know why. She's a bit of a knucklehead anyway, so no harm, no foul.
Hang in! You're in Ne territory with the bac and I don't envy you that. But as Low said to me at some point: You'll show those rats a thing or two! (or something much more clever, referring to the fact that I was unwilling, I thought, to go above 3.whatever mg/lb in order to find indifference. lolol. Whatev. I got there and haven't looked bac. ok. I look bac everyday. but again, whatev. I really must go do some damn homework.)
xo
Ne

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

OK, up at 6AM - a little early for me - to take my son to school early. After maybe 4 hours of sleep. I said something to Hubbie about not sleeping well, and he went right for the jugular, "well, maybe we shouldn't have any alcohol tonight". I said I didn't think that was it, as I hadn't had any A Monday night - I'm not sure he was aware of that. Did you sleep better that night? No, not really. It's the Bac, but he doesn't know about it, or seem to wonder about my symptoms. Maybe he doesn't see them - I suppose he can't hear the thrushing in my ears, or see the brain fog at work when I'm asked an accounting question on the phone, and I can't make sense out of it. He hears me tell him of night sweats, and probably links that to peri-menopause, but I think if I grabbed his hand and showed him how wet and sweaty I can be, he'd be surprised.

I hope I switch soon, and then we can talk about how it is that I'm able to not drink, and lay many things out on the table. Need to take care of this need/desire to drink first though. Don't plan on going up any higher...Dr. L said to try to stay where I was for a little longer, give my brain a chance to catch up. Plus, while I didn't tell him of the significance of my SE's, I'm thinking I can't take much more. So onward with the 280 mg/day.
Mailed Dr L a check today. He had never brought up payment, and so on my last call to him (Monday), I mentioned that I hadn't yet paid him anything, and we talked about insurance and how to best make that work. Not sure why others have had him bring it up, and not me. One thing I wonder-since people call him in the evening, is he getting drunk dialed? Are people sober when they call him? I have made a point to be, and he has commented a couple of times that I "sound fine."

I digress...need to get some work done...thanks (again) for listening.

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

Why not just tell hubby that you are taking medication that may help with boozing, and that it interferes with your sleep? Leave it at that, no need to go into detail. While he doesn't sound like the most understanding fellow on earth, just say you need a bit of help for a couple of weeks.

Something to consider is that it takes a at least a few days at a new level for any impact to filter through. The SE's will come straight away, but not the main effect, which is the one we are all after. I'm not sure how long you have been at 280mg's though.

Don't panic about going up. Just take each new level as and when it comes. They aren't necessarily worse than the preceding levels of baclofen. I'm about to post on my thread regarding this, so have a look if you are interested.

Something else to think about regarding the sleep - I find on baclofen that I need much less sleep than normal. I'm was used to the standard 7 hours though, so it took me a while to realise that I wasn't actually tired after getting only four. Just something to think about.

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Because then he would KNOW I should drink less/not at all, and it would become a CONTROL issue. I need to do this for myself, and not muddy the waters with him trying to control my drinking...I know how well that works.!

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

I feel like crap at work...I CANNOT THINK!! My tongue is tingly/almost numb.

I think I need to move down a notch in Bac until I can get my head back in the game! Thoughts???

[moglor]

Sassy's bac journey

Some people have reported success by going UP in dosage. What is your current dosage level and dosing schedule? I've found some relief by taking smaller doses more frequently, but I still often have that dazed stoney feeling.

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

I'm with Moglor on this one. Baclofen hands out entirely different SE's at various levels, not necessarily worse ones. It is certainly something to consider before you reduce your dosage. Try it on a weekend, when you don't have to be at your dazzling best. If it makes things worse, you just reduce back to your old dosage. Often this alone can make what was a horrible level suddenly tolerable.

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

I decided to make my dosing more often. I was doing 5 doses/day, taking my last one right before bed. I'm not one to get up in the middle of the night, so I haven't been, nor do I plan to start, getting up in the night to take pills.

So I will now take 7 doses during the day, and have my last does a couple hours before bedtime. I started yesterday, mid-day, and had my last bac at 7:30 PM. Still couldn't sleep great, but much better than the other 2 nights. I'm probably moving up to 290 mg today, from 280 this past week. Can't commit to more than a 10 mg increase. Plus, I do my 3 hour drive tomorrow night...every other weekend I take my son to see his Dad.

I spent probably an hour in bed just stretching, it felt so good. Hubbie was snoring, but I thought he'd "feel" me moving around so much and wonder what I was up to. I feel like my muscles are all or nothing...like I'll grab the steering wheel in the car and grip it so tight my wrist will hurt, or sleeping, will contort my hand and keep it in an odd position until it falls asleep. Or, they do nothing-no support to move the fluid out of my legs, to help my digestion, etc. Every 2 or 3 seconds, the back of my throat does something like the beginning of a yawn, and I hear a "rush" in my ears, but then it stops. Like that all day and night. No wonder I can't hear so well anymore!

Can't concentrate or keep a thought AT ALL! I take piracetam, and while it helps (I think), I'm at about 50% at work. Every now and again, though, I'll get into a mode and just WORK and delve into a problem and it's like I have super concentration! Is that mania? Probably.

More mania-we got our new refrigerator yesterday, so I was cleaning the fingerprints off of it, making it all shiny. Then I noticed the windows in my kitchen are DIRTY! So, when I should have been making dinner, I'm scrubbing the windows! They need a more thorough job than I could do then, so that's likely a weekend project.

Just looked at my watch, and the band is digging in to my wrist-can you say water retention? WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?

Oh, and I have I talked about how nothing seems to taste as good anymore? Like when I have a piece of dark chocolate, it's good, but not OMG good. Same with wine, or dinner, whatever. It's like all pleasure I ever got from tasting good things has been dampened or dulled. Is that what Bac does? Makes you a) so tired and foggy you can't stay awake to drink, and b) makes what you do eat and drink taste bland.

I'll be glad to have a 3 day weekend!!

[moglor]

Sassy's bac journey

I've had the issue of things tasting weird or not as good too. It's annoying, but I can't tell if it's the bac, or giving my tongue a break from all the booze..

[bleep]

Sassy's bac journey

Baclofen definitely affected my taste buds, but in strange ways. I now enjoy the taste of most vegetables and fruit, whereas before I couldn't stand the things. I have eaten bacon with such a keenness my whole life that my parents nicknamed me "rasher." That seems to have faded, it's now just a random food to me. There are other, more subtle changes, but definite changes.

I ca relate to your cleaning urges as well! I sorted out all my cupboards and was doing DIY around the house, unheard of for someone like me! My wife loves it. Vestiges of this SE linger on, I'm generally a bit tidier than I was, and random house projects actually get done, whereas before I would immediately call someone in to do them.

Along with the scatty-brain and the manic focus, these were all side effects I noticed toward the end of my titration, so it does sound like you are close Sassy.

[SassyLassy]

Sassy's bac journey

Wasn't sure if I should drive yesterday at the end of the workday. I was SO bac'd out! I started wondering if the switch to the 20mg tabs (different manufacturer) had something to do with that. I started taking those Saturday, I think, and have felt really horrible SE's this week. I ordered some more 10mg tabs-we'll see if Walgreens will fill when I just got the 20's. Hope so.

Well, I did drive home, and went promptly to the couch. My son helped me get a marinade going for grilled chicken, and called his dad (not my hubbie, my ex) to see if we could switch driving duties this weekend - I wasn't sure if I should drive him today for 1 1/2 hours, then a return trip, feeling like I did yesterday. So he agreed.

I also took less bac on my last two doses yesterday, so finished the day with 260 mg instead of 280, and took the 10mg tabs that I'm used to, not the "new" 20's. I've heard on other threads where people were somehow double their dose, and kept double checking the Rx and the pills to make sure they are indeed 20 mg.

My hubbie's son was mowing the yard, so mine had to "do more" than usual, because I was out of commission. He started the grill, he found a veggie to make, he set the table, all good stuff. When we sat down for dinner, Hubbie had a bottle of white which he had poured into two glasses. I was feeling so foggy/tongue numb/trouble focusing my eyes, I knew I shouldn't put any wine on top of it. So the glass sat there, untouched. I finally moved it away from my plate, and said, "I'm not going to have any of this", so hubbie poured it in to his glass.

Long story short, hubbie finished most of the bottle by himself. Not sure if he had any gin on top of it. Every time we needed something done, he calls one of the boys to do it. Sometimes, I wish HE'D just do whatever needs doing. Get him some ice cream. Put the leftovers away, wipe off the dining room table, etc etc. Nothing new, just sort of a constant. And the boys generally do what they're asked to do, mine with perhaps more questioning than his, but still.

I had said I could use a head rub - really not feeling well - kind of thinking hubbie would do it. Yes, my son has WONDERFUL hands for doing that kind of thing, but he was trying to get some time to do the things he likes to do. Hubbie called for him, again, (really, it was the 3rd or 4th time since dinner), and my son wasn't thrilled about making yet another trip up from the basement. When he came up, he walked right by hubbie, really didn't acknowledge him, and asked me if I had any chapstick. (He's got a cold).

This started a series of events that I couldn't stop. Hubbie wanted an acknowledgement, a "yes sir", and at that point, I said, "Please, hubbie, don't do this, not tonight". So he asked my son to come upstairs to his office with him. "No, don't do that". I hate when he wants to yell at my son where I can't hear him. Son dared ask "Why". I REALLY wasn't equipped to stand between them last night. And I knew hubbie had had enough A to be a little too strict and a little too quick to punish. I even said, "Hubbie, you've had the better part of a bottle of wine, and you're not making good decisions - let it be." Long story short, son lost his I-pod for a week, and is evidently grounded. Luckily, he's going to his Dad's tonight, and will be there over the weekend.

When I got to bed shortly after 10, hubbie was already snoring - seriously? The pattern is so typical, and so sad. Yet I was relieved to be able to just lay down and not have any big talk.

This morning, he was trying to engage me in conversation, and I wasn't really participating. I wasn't being cold or negative, just quiet. He asked if we were going out for dinner tonight or tomorrow? I said I wasn't sure, because honestly, I don't think we can "talk" if we go out. And there'll be booze. And I'm not sure I want it anymore. He asked if there was "good" coffee (we had a coffee pot malfunction yesterday), and I said yes. Doesn't really require much more than that, does it? And he went through his checklist of what he's doing today, but again, what do I say in response? He asked how I was feeling - still a little spacey, I said. "Are you taking aspirin?" Um, no. I left it at that.

then he said, "you seem quiet. I've been trying to get you to talk, and you're not saying much". I said very matter of factly, "that's because we're not talking about what we need to talk about, and we're not going to do that before I go to work".

I'm not sure I know exactly how the talk will go or what, exactly, it will entail. Some thoughts:
1) Control issues - this has many sub-topics, but especially I want him to consider altering his approach to disciplining and interacting with our sons.

2) his alcohol use
3) my alcohol use
4) my bac use
5) (biggie) what will happen if we can't resolve these issues.

I don't know if I'm in a spot to handle that yet. And the last thing I want is to ask for changes, and for Hubbie to take the CONTROL thing too far and require measureable goals from everyone. I really want the focus to be on HIM changing. But don't they say, you can't change someone else?

Summary of switch status...I feel better today on the bac-front. Had AF days on Monday and on Thursday, probably 5-6 glasses of wine on Tues, 1/2 bottle on Wed. Don't plan on drinking tonight. It's not tasting that good, and there's too much else at stake to throw booze in to the mix. Does that mean I've switched?

To have had a glass of wine poured out and set on the table in front of me and to choose not to drink it - is that a switch? Even if it's because I felt like sh*t? I'm not convinced. I will stay at 280 mg for now.

I'm open to comments on how/what/when to say to hubbie. Thanks for listening.

[moglor]

Sassy's bac journey

SassyLassy;1121053 wrote: When I got to bed shortly after 10, hubbie was already snoring - seriously? The pattern is so typical, and so sad.
...

I said very matter of factly, "that's because we're not talking about what we need to talk about, and we're not going to do that before I go to work".

Dealing with that kind of a domestic situation while not drinking and on heavy doses of bac is nothing short of heroic, Sassy. I have a close friend who still drinks very heavily, and it's odd and awkward when he's drinking and I'm not. I cannot imagine how stressful it must be when that person is your husband, and you can see him making bad parenting decisions due to alcohol.

I don't have any words of advice, only encouragement, support, and empathy.

-John