It's based on this statment I made a few days ago:
I do so hope that this energetic, low-anxiety, really appreciating music, desire to talk to and connect with people thing lasts even as I titrate down on bac. I noticed these effects a little bit on lower doses, but they've only REALLY become evident since I started bumping up the dose again. I feel like that the person I've uncovered with bac is the Beth I was always supposed to be. I don't want to lose her!
When I figured out the "real" meaning (real in quotes cuz it's the real meaning to ME), it was on the come down from my first and only acid trip a few years ago. And when I realized that the singer wasn't talking to someone else in the chorus, he was talking to HIMSELF, it all clicked.
"There is no you, there is only me. I just made you up to hurt myself."
And the other day I realized that the anti-social, unenergetic, unauthentic, misanthropic Beth was the one I had made up to hurt myself. I used to alcohol to try and remedy all of those shortcomings. And the one that I've uncovered with bac is the only me that there really is. It's the one that doesn't need alcohol to feel alright, because now, I AM alright.
There's a lot more to the song that speaks to me and alcohol/bac dichotomy than just the chorus, but I'll just leave it at that.
So when I thought about this song in the shower, after an anxiety-ridden and manic morning, I instantly felt better and I remembered what it was all REALLY about.
There's a lot more to this "bac trip" than meets the eye, folks.
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