Let's meet in Chicago!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Let's meet in Chicago!

:H

Alrighty. How about this: How about if we take a step back and look at the reality. So far we're talking about 5 people. And me. And Ed. Redthread is the only other person who would travel. (DG, I suppose, has quite a drive if I remember correctly.)

Also, it is a misnomer (my word of the day apparently) to think of an in crowd around here. What's that?

Also, I've got no agenda. I think it is a lovely thing to think about people from an anonymous forum getting together over a meal (these things always include breaking bread together for me, but I'm flexible) and sharing experiences. Or not.

There is magic in a room full of drunks. I understand that many people have not experienced that. I have. I suspect that part of the reason is because there is suddenly no stigma attached to our disease. We can talk about it. Or not. That's huge, right? We don't HAVE to talk about it.

You know how when something terrible happens and for a brief moment you have respite from it and then someone gets on the elevator and says, "I'm so sorry for _________." And you just want to punch that person because for just a second you'd forgotten to be sad/mad about ________.

It's such a relief to not HAVE to explain or digress or justify or qualify or quantify. Whew. Even writing that is cathartic.

So who else is in? Ed is actually looking forward to it, so we may, somehow, be able to pull this off.

xo

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Oh, and WCL, if it all comes to pass, we'll figure it out. Ed and I, and whoever else wants to join in, could stop by where you work! (Kidding of course.)

And as stated previously in the thread, repeatedly, I'm not sure that it's exclusive to bac, or indifference. It's exclusive to US, all of us. That's a pretty small group to begin with. :H

(And as to the in crowd and the inside jokes, etc... A lot of those folks aren't participating here anymore. But that reminds me that a couple of emails would not go amiss! )

[windycitylady]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Ne, I like your attitude about the whole thing, and though I do understand beatle's concerns, I do think it is a different situation. And if there still is an "in crowd", it's made up of very friendly, approachable people. If we hammer out exact dates in time, I might be able to get a sat or sun off. Well, probably not. But I could meet up for brunch or lunch. And if it doesn't come together, I say, fuck it. You and ed come to chicago, take a cheesy boat tour, go shopping on michigan ave, and whatever else people are supposed to do when they come to chicago. But I would like to see it happen.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Let's meet in Chicago!

I can be really obtuse and a complete knucklehead at times. I wish I could stop that permanently.

taw;1170696 wrote: I am in the suburbs of Chicago, too! I would love to join you all if that is ok!
TAW! How could it not be okay? I thought we were staying with you.

Sorry I missed your post. How are you and when're you going to update somewhere that I can see? What's news?

beatle;1170912 wrote: btw, I'm seriously, VERY seriously trying to be of help here. I have experience and I have where I'm coming from, and yes, sigh, I have anxiety-- this time about how this experience will turn out for people who have a lot invested in it, Going with feel-good ideas about the universal spirit, and all will work out so well, is leaving an awful lot to fate. ... as I said, so much is at stake.

However, I have the feeling I am coming off as belligerent and irrelevant. I apologize.

(But I still think one person's dream scenario could be another's nightmare. Just saying)

The thing about dream scenarios is that they aren't really based in very much fact. These posts were anything but belligerent or irrelevant and I apologize, beatle, that I responded as though they were.

I didn't initially feel like there was that much at stake. And honestly, am a little bummed out that my dream scenario of a big gregarious group might not come to pass. It would be much more likely, though, if there was a framework and a structure that allowed people with anxiety (an awful lot of us, me included) to join in and feel comfortable.

beatle;1170970 wrote: I really promised myself not to get drawn back in, but I really don't agree that people will not be harmed if it doesn't go well.

Especially newer and more vulnerable people, and especially if they invest time and money in this.

For you newer and more vulnerable ones who live in the area, of course there is not much to lose. If it works out to be a good or great experience, well, hurrah; if it's not what you expected, or you feel uncomfortable or disappointed, fine, so you go home early.

But I guess at this point it will only be people who live in the area, plus a few of the "in" group veterans, who may travel from afar, who will be attending, so whatever my concerns are, they are not relevant to the current situation.

Now I'm really done, so just have fun, y'all ok?

I've got a plane to be late for, so I've got to run. I'm really bummed out that I didn't read and respond to this stuff more carefully, beatle. Good advice all of it.
It's very easy for me to think it would be great to get off a plane and meet in a big room or restaurant because 1) I've been here long enough that I at least *recognize* the peeps behind the screen name. And more to the point: 2) Bac/medication/anxiety and alcoholism, and reaching out to people interested in those options are my life's passion now. VERY easy (and obtuse) for me to live in la-la land when I'm embracing the scenario that everyone else is in the same place. And I'm not particularly socially anxious.

I apologize, beatle, for being so dismissive. As important (in the great grand scheme) it bums me out that I've contributed to the exclusiveness feel of this whole thing.

(Add to the fact that Ed and I have been trying to get to Chicago for literally a decade to no avail, as though it's Zimbabwe or something. So even if no one shows up, or meets us, we would be interested. Doesn't make me very invested in giving this some thought. But now I will. Hope others will too.)

and thanks.
xo
Ne

[SlipperyPete]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Ne/Neva Eva;1172393 wrote:
I'm really bummed out that I didn't read and respond to this stuff more carefully, beatle. Good advice all of it.

Surely you're not serious

Beatle single-handedly killed the idea of a fun get-together. I had even considered going (and I'm dead broke!), but it doesn't look like it would be fun now...

On a side note, your friend is a huge flamer :H
But he might be on to something...

P.S. - Since I'm from Seattle, I'm allowed to call people flamers

[RedThread12]

Let's meet in Chicago!

I've thought about posting a bunch of stuff about this thread, because it seems quite odd to me. But I'll just say this:

We are all very sick people who are desperately efforting to save our lives, and perhaps even find some quality therein. How in the world could anyone be possibly be "in" or "out" in this group? Alcoholism, and what we've experienced as alcoholics creates a pretty level playing ground.

Projections may change that view for individuals, but let's not lose perspective of who we are or why we are interested in meeting. We're changing the paradigm of addiction, and we might discover more with several heads together.

So October (which will be difficult for me but I'll try to make it), or after the holidays, (which would be better for me), I think it's actually quite important for some of us to get together face-to-face. Fun, hopefully; productive, more hopefully.

[redhead77]

Let's meet in Chicago!

I agree with what you've written RedT. I'm glad to hear you'll try to make it. I will offer if anyone is too shy to come forward on this thread, or doesn't feel part of the "in group", to please PM me if you want to join us. Anybody is welcome here. We would LOVE to have you join us.

I'm not too up on the church basement meeting locale. I know this is a democracy, and I want to meet as many of you as possible, so I will be there, if you others want it, and if that's what works. We have some other options too, weather permitting. There are parks and the lakefront. We could do a little picnic or something. A meet and greet that isn't too stuffy. The weather is usually very decent in mid October. I tend to suffer from some anxiety when I meet new people as well. I push through it, but I think it's best to try to make the location as comfortable as possible, for as many as possible. The outdoors usually works well. We could have a plan for the outdoors, and then a backup plan if it were to rain. Just some thoughts. I really want this to happen peeps.

There is no reason people couldn't do a few things. After our meet and greet if peeps want to break bread together, then do. Then some of us could go clubbing...JK. :H

[redhead77]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Once we have concrete numbers I can work with (or pretty concrete, I know some things change), I would be willing to donate my time and energy to finding a location for us. In other words, I would be willing to somewhat coordinate. As long as everyone is open and not too picky. If you would let me know your preferences, I would do my best, but not everyone in the group will have it the exact way they want...I'm sure. I mean in regards to our meet and greet. I won't coordinate what follows after. Much of that could be decided after our meet and greet, of course. I know I've said before I'm willing to help, but I really mean it. Just make a decision to come!!

[beatle]

Let's meet in Chicago!

redhead77;1173541 wrote: Once we have concrete numbers I can work with (or pretty concrete, I know some things change), I would be willing to donate my time and energy to finding a location for us. In other words, I would be willing to somewhat coordinate. As long as everyone is open and not too picky. If you would let me know your preferences, I would do my best, but not everyone in the group will have it the exact way they want...I'm sure. I mean in regards to our meet and greet. I won't coordinate what follows after. Much of that could be decided after our meet and greet, of course. I know I've said before I'm willing to help, but I really mean it. Just make a decision to come!!

I admit I have not been keeping up with MWO very regularly or thoroughly.

But I found this thread on page 3. What's up with that?

It's almost October, and if my posts threw a wet rag on this whole thing, I will tell you up front, that will make me cry. And will cause me no small amount of anguish.

I honestly just wanted to help. Not hinder.

Maybe you all have taken the plans off the forum, and into the private sphere (maybe even because of me)? Or maybe you all are just too busy to be bothered about this atm?

Or maybe I am reading too much into this situation... but is it really 2 weeks since the last post on this thread?

Whatever it is, please do it, please do.

And don't take the arrangements into the private range -- because there may still be people out there who want to be a part of it.

And please invite Dr.L. He will be honored and it is the least he deserves. And I think he might even show up ;-). I'd love to see his happy, bemused, and humble face when you all toast him. Please throw in a toast from me, too (NA, of course)

[windycitylady]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Awwww, you're sweet Beatle. I'm still down, though my hours are kinda funky. I think Redhead is too. I think Ne's been chilling out on posting, don't know if she's still planning to come to Chicago at all. But I would love to see Dr. L invited! Great idea! Any who are still considering coming, please chime in!

[RedThread12]

Let's meet in Chicago!

All, and lovingly . . . my life is more full than I could ever have imagined a life could be right now. Miracle and tragedy separated only by a single molecule, it seems.

My enthusiasm for a Chicago meet was, in all honesty, altered by your concerns, Beatle. I'm more of a "go and see what happens" girl than a "try to take care of everyone" girl. It started feeling heavy after reading your concerns. But, in all honestly . . . I could use more of your perspective. It would keep me a little more balanced in the face of reality and I might find myself less often the focal point of why it all fucked up :H:H

I am not kidding and I am not trying to make you feel better. I am less inclined to go, and that actually matches the actual circumstances of my life much better. There is no hidden "Chicago" conversation that I'm aware of. It just may be that another time is a better time.

I just finished a 3-day facilitator's training, held in my home, in a work called "Family Constellation." I dare you to Wiki it and it's founder, Bert Hellinger.(:h) We looked for more than a year for a weekend that could easily bring the facilitator and enough participants together. Finally found one and BOOM! A year of hugely successful workshops, now a facilitator's training. Timing is everything, and damn . . . it's not in our hands.

There are a LOT of MWO stalwarts, startlers, successes, sufferers, and (I tried to think of other "s" things but got stuck) here in the US. I'm up for any kind of gathering just to say "thank you" to those who went before me, and to be whatever support I can be to those who want to come along. But these things seem to have lives of their own; and it is so exciting and so interesting to see what they might be.

When I first found MWO, your posts (and I have not idea what they were about or in what category) influenced me greatly and beneficially. It wasn't so much your struggle that captivated me (although that has become a little more interesting since Oct. '09); it was your ground of being . . examining, investigating . . . that made me feel somehow "safe." I've never told you that, so I'm telling you that now. You contributed greatly to my deliverance from addiction with baclofen. Just by being you. Isn't that awesome?!?!

So Chicago will or will not happen. If there are still plans afoot, someone let me know. Otherwise, we might just put it into the morphogenic field that some of us here in the US could get together . . . regionally, nationally, whatever.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Let's meet in Chicago!

I'd agree with most of what you wrote, RedH. Managing something as simple as getting together is a far different vibe than the one I wanted and needed.

And beatle, once bitten, twice shy, sister.

That said it doesn't feel quite right regardless. There are several reasons but none of them very compelling. The bottom line for me/us (meaning Ed and I) is that it just doesn't quite fit. That said, I look forward to meeting any and all of you at some point. Eastern Virginia isn't such a far cry, and there's always a room here. I hope someone'll take me up on the offer!

Morphogenically speaking, of course. :H

[RedThread12]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Awww, Ne, you're making fun of me. And actually, what I intended to write was "morphogenetic" field.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Let's meet in Chicago!

Nope. not making fun at all. I googled it.
Morphogenesis: (from the Greek morph? shape and genesis creation, literally, "beginning of the shape"). It has to do with cells and such, which is right up my alley atm, so particularly pertinent. Of course.
And then I misspelled it too! :H

I think Morphogenesis is my theme for the ...whatever. Beginning of the shape pretty much sums up exactly where I am. Thanks for that.
Many hugs and lots of strength to you. (and smiles and laughter, too.)
:H