My Diary (baclofen)

[edostan]

Hi all.

I haven't started with baclofen yet. I will be doing so as soon as it arrives, if my wife doesn't confiscate it.

My story:

I am without doubt an alcoholic. I won't bore you with the details, like pissing the bed with my girlfriend in it (x 4), or waking up in the middle of the street somewhere, or on a train, end of the line, or in jail. I've done all the drinking stuff. 42 year old American.

Most of those memories are behind me thanks to my super strict wife and our tumultuous 3 years of marriage. When we met I was full on in alcoholic mode. Of course, she loved me and moved into my place. About 6 months later, she calmly stated that she loved me but was moving out due to my drinking. I stopped. Did the AA thing. 2 years.

After marriage and a baby, (we) decided that it would be a good idea if I started to drink again on a limited basis. Blah blah blah, fill in the blanks. It failed miserably.

Here's where I'm at now. I drink, at home, every Saturday. On the other days, I take anatbuse. She feeds it to me (liquid form) with breakfast. I take it from Sunday to Thursday. Friday, and Saturday, I don't take it, and I am free to drink on Saturdays. I am also allowed to drink occasionally when there is a damn good reason. i.e. work New Years party.

Considering all the shit I've put my wife through, it's a pretty good deal. But, I crave constantly. I live for Saturdays, even though I can't really have much enjoyment out of my drinking at that time.

Flash forward: I found out about baclofen.

Ordered it.

Told my Psychiatrist. Printed out some studies. He said he'd look into it.

Told my wife. She freaked out!! You just want to be able to drink whenever you want! She says.

Anyway, had a good talk with my wife tonight. "good" means I threatened to leave forever if she blocked my shipment of this drug. Don't get me wrong here. She is a good woman, but she is a nurse and completely convinced that alcoholism is a mental weakness. By the way, she is Japanese and we live in Tokyo. Her opinion is the general consensus amongst the medical community.

Ok, so gonna start taking it as soon as it arrives. Have studied the recommended schedules titrating up, and will follow them as much as possible. Will probably get a script from my psychiatrist next time I see him, but I know that it wont be enough, so will continue to order online. I'm hoping that the Japanese maximum dose will equal my maintenance dose.

Ne! You inspired me! Thank you!!!

[edostan]

My Diary (baclofen)

By the way. I'm really hopeful / scared and all that shit. Any optimism shined my way would definitely be absorbed and cherished.

Arigato Gozaimasu!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Diary (baclofen)

Hi, Edo. I'm humbled by the inspiration, but whatever it takes brother! (that inspiration can be found in much less dramatic fashion right here, ftr.)

You are very, very welcome here. I am really excited about getting to know you, but alas I have to run out to help a friend. (Which I couldn't have done a month ago, this early on a Saturday morning!)

:ls to you and your wife. And much, much more soon.

I hope it'll get there soon.

[edostan]

My Diary (baclofen)

Ne-chan!

I'm so happy to get your reply. Thank you. Your honesty and your ability to type late at night is inspirational.

I'll probably not post again until I receive my meds and start to take them.

Now is Saturday, so I drank. I drank about 5 500ml beers and one 500ml chu-hai (good Japanese shit) tonight. I don't know how many that is in terms of units, but it's a little bit less than I normally drink.

Because, This is MY THREAD!!

Is that fierce enough?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Diary (baclofen)

Oh, yes, brother. That's almost fierce enough.
I don't care that you're drinking. and anyone who does doesn't belong on YOUR THREAD. (or on any of 'em around here, imho!) It's what we do.
You don't need the bac to post right here, right now. But if you'd prefer to wait, you can visit some of the rest of us.
I promise you this: EVERYONE that puts themselves out there wants a response. EVERYONE! It's amazing how vulnerable posting makes me/us!
So you must be pretty fierce. (takes one to know one, and I'm feeling a little proud for all my humility!)
I love all things Asia, btw.
As to the optimism? You won't feckin' believe how good this is. I don't care which SEs you pick from. It is WORTH EVERY MINUTE.
Can't stay away today, obviously, but have lots on the agenda! What a gift!
Ne
forgot twice now to send hugs and love to the new baby! Imagine the father/husband you'll be when you are able? so hugs to your whole family! Hope you're getting some sleep!

[bleep]

My Diary (baclofen)

Hi edostan, and welcome to the ride of your life. Your wife won't believe what is about to happen to you, and frankly, neither will you!

10 points on having the discipline to stick to a once a week schedule, I have tried it in the past and failed miserably.

Try not to get caught up in the side effects, they are just proof that the baclofen is busy doing it's thing. As neva says, pick the worst, it's still worth it...

Good luck, I look forward to hearing about your progress through this amazing experience.

[beatle]

My Diary (baclofen)

ようこそエドスタンさん！ :welcome:

You have come to the right place. If you read through the threads (which it appears you have done to some extent), you will find plenty to be optimistic about.

There are many amazing personal stories, the journeys, the ups and downs, and the final successes. Some people (mostly men, I believe) hit the switch fast and with little pain (SEs), whilst most (especially women, I think) have to suffer, some a lot, some not so much -- but all who keep on say it was worth it COMPLETELY. And if you really really really どうしても want this, the track record is damn good based on the experiences of people here, and the results of Doctor L (whom you have surely heard heaps about here).

I have not reached the switch, but from my experience (and many many others on here), you will feel positive effects pretty quickly... like a reduced alcoholic intake naturally, cravings somewhat reduced (although they often persist, just at a lower level).

Another big benefit, from low doses, people with anxiety issues seem to always find a dramatic ease in the level of their anxiety. (I can attest to this.)

And here (MWO) is also the place to air your concerns, ask questions, and share your experience.

頑張ってね!

And, yes, folks, I realize I am a shameless show off. :blushing: But that last greeting (頑張って/gambatte) is the Japanese term used much as the English use "good luck", but I think its literal translation is so much more appropriate for our purposes. What it literally means is "Go for it" or "Keep at it" or "fight for it". I like that expression better. It implies participation in creating one's fate. This is no game of luck, after all. (This part is not showing off.)

-b

[Murphyx]

My Diary (baclofen)

Hi Edostan

You're lucky to have found out about Baclofen, the vast majority still haven't and won't until the medical profession wakes up to this cure for addiction. And that's what it really is, a cure. Yeah you're likely to have some side effects, some crappy but some kinda fun, but they will only last a short time, unlike being free of alcoholism, which will last the rest of your life.

You'll find loads of people here in the exact same boat as yourself so never worry about asking for opinions or help or just unloading.

Murph

p.s. I never got caught pissing the bed, but I once got caught pissing through the letter box of an antique shop. I think I was aiming at a rather expensive grandfather clock. Unfortunately the person who caught me was an 80 year old lady who was one of my clients. I can laugh about it now.

[bleep]

My Diary (baclofen)

Did you hit the clock Murph?

edostan, it's extremely hard to change someone's mind about this (people don't like to change their mind's, even if your behavior changes, but time will win out), but perhaps get her to read a couple of these threads that people have posted regarding the switch. Neva's "Sweet Success" thread would be a good place to start. Beatle can translate for you if that's an issue, I'm sure!

[edostan]

My Diary (baclofen)

Thank you everyone for the encouraging replies.

I started on baclofen last night. Will follow the schedule that redhead posted in her notes about her visit to Dr. L. So took 10mg last night, today will be 30mg / 3.

I'm not going to worry about side effects. I've been on lots of psychoactive meds over the years. SSRI's mostly. I've never had the majority of side effects that a quick web search would terrify me with. If they come, they come. And most importantly, they almost always go away.

I teach at a Uni, and the new school year here starts in April. So, I've got about a month and a half to do as I like before I've got to start performing at a high level. Right now, I do "research" and preparation in my office everyday. I could be completely insane and no one would notice. So, the timing is good.

I don't know how often I'll post, but I want to document my experience in as much detail as possible for future visitors as you all who preceded me have done.

がんばります！

ジェフ

[redhead77]

My Diary (baclofen)

Hi Edostan,

I'm glad you saw the titration schedule and will use it. I have been following it faithfully and had some issues this past weekend at work, but you will not be working, so go for it!!! Actually, I took 3 10mg doses today and felt really good again. Unfortuntely, the first 2 days I titrated up, were work days. I didn't perform well. I can't say that I wouldn't have performed well today, I think I would have been fine. Just some thoughts. Glad you found us and made it here.

As a nurse, your wife must know that this is a disease? Maybe in Japan, the disease model of substance abuse is not being used? There are not that many Japanese alcoholics as far as I know. Many Japanese have effects much like antabuse when they drink, or so I've heard. They are missing an enzyme to break down alcohol.

I hope she will consider this. Show her the little bit of research that's been done. Most importantly, good luck. Don't be a stranger!!

[edostan]

My Diary (baclofen)

Hi all!

Well, I had my first drinking on baclofen experience last night. As I mentioned in my first post, I now only drink on Saturdays. I started bac last Sunday. Was on 30mg all week. My cravings were actually more than usual, most likely because I wanted to test my response to drinking.

Long story short, drinking was slightly less interesting and I drank less than usual. No hangover today, and I upped my dose to 50mg. Will be free to drink on Monday and Tuesday as I'm going out of town for a conference. I'm looking forward to see if I can control myself. Usually, this would be prime foolishness and blackout time.

Side effects:

Sleepy the first day only.
Feel less anxious.
Feel better generally (placebo effect or not, I'll take it)

Overall absolutely no negatives. As I said, I upped to 50 today, no negative effects whatsoever. Wasn't even sleepy today. Had a nice relatively anxiety free Sunday with my family.

Redhead said that Dr. L wanted it to be "like water". It has been for me so far.

My next post will be a report of my (mis)adventures after I come back from my trip. Two nights in a hotel by myself and a conference at which I'll be relatively anonymous will be a great test for me.

がんばります

ジェフ

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Diary (baclofen)

Morning (for me) Edo!
Sounds like you're off to a great start! I hope 50mg/day (or self-preservation:H) curtails the need to overindulge at the conference. That sounds as though it could be embarrassing.
Glad you're going to keep us posted! I like the misadventures as much as the next girl. (so long as that's all they are, ftr.)
xo

[bleep]

My Diary (baclofen)

Good stuff, it seems you already responding. Looking forward to your next post...

[edostan]

My Diary (baclofen)

Healing Crisis

So, many years ago, I had a Chinese girlfriend. Her mother was a chi gong master. Chi gong (qi gong, qi kung) is a chinese healing art which in practice, can look like tai chi. Anyway, I used to have severe attacks of pain in my stomach that I later found out was from my gallbladder. I had one such attack one day at this girl's house. Her mother insisted on doing a healing for me. It involved me laying on the sofa with her "pulling" the bad chi out of my body. They asked me how I felt afterwards and I lied and said "it feels better". In fact, it hurt doubly bad. I was so disappointed. Not because of the pain, but because I wanted to believe in her abilities. So many people had claimed miraculous experiences from studying with her. I decided to go home and by the time I got there, about 20 minutes later, the pain was gone - even if I pushed on the area with my hand. I had had many such attacks and the pain never just went away like that. It always faded slowly over about a 6-12 hour period. So later, I talked to them about that and admitted that the pain had intensified before it disappeared. They weren't surprised at all. "Oh, that's the 'healing crisis'. It's always like that. So, what follows is my current "healing crisis".

Went out of town to the conference that I mentioned in my previous post. I drank like crazy. I've not stopped since I returned home either. And my cravings have intensified significantly. I'm craving alcohol every waking moment. But, I'm not going to panic. I've reread some of the posts of those of you who have hit "the switch", and I understand that there is what Master Chen would call a "healing crisis" happening to us. The alcoholic brain is fighting for survival against the assault of baclofen.

Now at 80mg. Went up from 50 to 60 and had no side effects aside from those listed below, so went up to 80 starting today.

Side Effects:[list type=decimal][*]Off the chart alcohol cravings[*]Fuzziness / DopinessSome short term memory issues[/list type=decimal]
Nothing severe except for the cravings. But, I'm calling this my "healing crisis". It is the last throes of my addiction.

Thanks everyone. Without being able to read about your experiences, I might have assumed that this just wouldn't work for me. Instead, I'm actually encouraged by these negative effects.

ジェフ