This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

redhead77;1113556 wrote: Yes, I know many people it worked for. Do you smoke too Ig? If so, we are a pathetic lot.

Murph, good job on the subtle thing. It's so rare for you to be subtle, I didn't even catch it. Where did you come up with the phrase, retarded ejaculation? :H:H That's funny. Is that your phrase or the drug pamphlets?

It's the technical term for being unable to shoot your bolt. AND IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!!!

Not that I'm overly sensitive about it or anything.:H

[RedThread12]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hi Head, it's Thread - or something like that. I just noticed on another thread that you're buying 20 mg 300/day/month at Walgreen's, as am I. I get mine a little cheaper ($95/month) by using a prescription discount card that I got when I opened a pre-paid credit card called Rushcard. Prepaid Cards - Credit, Debit, Prepaid - Rushcard. I originally got it for reasons having nothing to do with buying baclofen, but I've saved a ton of money by using their prescription card. It's cheaper than the Walgreen's discount card. It's not good at every Walgreen's, but if you get one you'll find a list of local pharmacies that will honor it. I don't use it for anything else, really. Just keep about $50 on the card and use the prescription program. Just fyi if you want to save a little $.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Howdy!

Time to awaken my thread and provide an update.

Firstly, I'm taking 120mg/day. I've gotten down lower. On lower doses, I felt my old enemy come back. Anxiety. I wouldn't say, I want to drink just to drink, but at the low doses, the anxiety makes me think I should. I went back up, and it seems the 120-140mg range is my sweet spot for now.

I would like to answer a few questions written to me as of late (on other people's threads). The first being, is bac working for me? Do I drink anymore?

Bac works for me. Period. Does that mean I never have a drink? No. I do drink occasionally. I have a hard time writing that elsewhere. It seems that even the bacsters are not in agreeance with this. I'm going to copy an email I sent to another MWO'er to try to explain it:

"Having reached indifference myself, I know all too well, what your talking about. The glass or two of wine. The night I called my mishap, was really benign, compared to what I'd normally consider over doing it. The better part of a bottle of wine? That would be half or less of what I did on many nights of the week before. Every time I take a drink or two, I feel guilt. I don't know why. I think it's because of all the stuff that's been pounded in to me, that alcoholics can't drink normally. I always wonder if that one drink is going to put me back in the passenger seat. With alcohol, again at the wheel. I feel absolutely wrong about doing what's right. Drinking like a normal person. Trying to explain this to others on the forum, is nearly impossible. I'm not even going to try at this point. We that are there, do understand."

This is the essence of what I feel is indifference. It is difficult to explain, unless you're living it. I guess I did decide to explain it after all.

The other question that keeps arising, is regarding my job. I know my job situation is confusing. It confuses me too. I do have a job. I had another as well, which fell through due to the hours. My latest endeavor, allows me to make my own schedule (somewhat). I don't have to work holidays or weekends. I still work long hours on the days I work.

I work for a company, that contracts me out, or I work per diem shifts. To do this, they expect you to have all sorts of things in order. I had to take numerous tests, physical and written, have lab work, update my certifications, get a back ground check, ect. The latest set back, has been my background check and references. I'm not sure what takes them so long in this electronic age, but whatever. Luckily, my background check is a criminal background check, and my drastic financial decisions won't effect it....I don't think. That had me a little worried.

I should have started getting my job lined up, before it was crucial. I just couldn't. The SEs were kicking my butt. I couldn't even take the tests. I am to be officially "active" today. Unless, I hear something came back regarding my background.....

I'm looking for some live in help. A college girl or something. On the days I work, I have to split the hours between 2 sitters, because I'm gone for so long. It would be most helpful, if I had someone here. It also would free me up for a bit of a social life. I mean a life outside of MWO.

If any of you don't read Murph's thread (:H I know), I am chatting with a guy online, and now on the phone. It's not serious, but it's super fun. We talked the other night for hours. A couple of months ago, that would have been impossible. I would've never been able to have a lengthy phone conversation after 9pm. I would've been too drunk. Just another way my life is changing. I'm welcoming it finally. I always wondered when it was time, if I would feel I needed booze as a social lube. I'm not finding that to be the case. I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin. Of course, I haven't met him yet. I'm sure that will give me a temporary case of the jitters. It's nothing I can't get over, and I'm sure I'll get over it fast.

I might get some of this snus everyone is talking about. I just don't want black goo in my mouth, that I have to spit out. Sounds totally gross. I mean, I might as well turn into a hillbilly, and start chewing tobacco. NOT!

Love ya all! :l

Redhead

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

RedThread12;1115737 wrote: Hi Head, it's Thread - or something like that. I just noticed on another thread that you're buying 20 mg 300/day/month at Walgreen's, as am I. I get mine a little cheaper ($95/month) by using a prescription discount card that I got when I opened a pre-paid credit card called Rushcard. Prepaid Cards - Credit, Debit, Prepaid - Rushcard. I originally got it for reasons having nothing to do with buying baclofen, but I've saved a ton of money by using their prescription card. It's cheaper than the Walgreen's discount card. It's not good at every Walgreen's, but if you get one you'll find a list of local pharmacies that will honor it. I don't use it for anything else, really. Just keep about $50 on the card and use the prescription program. Just fyi if you want to save a little $.

Thanks Thread. I will look into it and appreciate the info.

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Wow, you dropped down really quickly. Are you completely free of SEs at that 120-140 dose?

redhead77;1117033 wrote:
I'm looking for some live in help. A college girl or something.

Hey, that sounds like a great idea. I wonder if the wife would let me get one of those.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Thanks for asking Murph. Yes, I did drop quickly, because I had to. I didn't have many issues dropping so fast, except when I would forget doses. Or when I got too low. My major bad side effects are gone. I have a good one still...reduced anxiety. I do have dry mouth, but I don't consider that anything major.

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Not too sure whether this is relevant Red, but I have noticed strange mood wobbles if I fuck with my dose. Subtle ones, that it takes me several days to identify, but I definitely start feeling weird after the fact.

Just something to be aware of.

You sound like you're doing great though, so let me not be the one to derail the process!

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hey Red,
I thought Snus WAS chewing tobacco. Not that it's important... but if there's something in between smoking and chewing, I'd love to know about it...
Good to hear that you're still having fun with your online guy.
And the live-in help sounds like a dream. Being a single mom is so challenging. I love being with my son so much, but all of the work involved in getting him to school w his lunch and fully dressed is tough stuff, even when not hungover (which, halelujiah!, happens a lot more these days, even on my beginner's low dose of 50 mg). I can't imagine doing it all with more than one child!
You have me here rooting for you on all fronts, dear.
xo rudyb

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I haven't noticed any mood problems. I had some depression early on, but it seems to be resolving. I do feel sensitive at times. Like when no one responds to my updates. I don't think that's baclofen, but a sensitive nature. I try not to get sensitive about it, because I realize, there's a lot to respond to around here. I also realize, and experience this myself, that when a post is positive, it is harder to find something to say. We are a support group. It is easier to give support to those who really need it. So, I'm really not whining. I'm just expressing myself.

I thought of some other side effects that continue. I still have the crazy vivid dreams. I don't mind them, except when I dream that I've posted all sorts of weird shit on here. This dream is a regular one. I mean really bizarre stuff. Not my typical weird shit. I don't even know where my mind comes up with this stuff.

The other thing that continues, is that loving feeling baclofen gives you. You know that warm feeling, where you like everyone. I find myself smiling at strangers in the store, wanting to chat them up. I like this one. It's a major bonus.

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hey Red, I relate to your sensitive nature. I don't bother with my own thread anymore much because it was getting so little traffic, and that hurts a bit, but I do realize it's not personal. There are some pretty captivating threads on here, mine not being one of them. I also get a little funny in my head when someone doesn't respond to my posts, on my own thread or another's. I think the interaction and the banter is fun and fulfilling, so I miss it when it's not there. (BTW, I did respond to your update above, see? So someone's thinking of you. But I KNOW you're not whining.)
Anyway, sweet dreams. I'm off to get some more of those insane bac dreams...

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I wondered what had happened to you Rudy. I saw you posting, but never on your thread. Probably not a bad idea to pop back in every now again with a brief summary, so that people following down the line don't just assume you went off the rails!

It is grim when nobody responds, but as you say, positive updates require very little feedback. Just the nature of the beast.

I'd love to find that level, the happy level, but I fear it is so far below my not-drinking level that I am unlikely to see it again sober

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Gooooood morning, peeps.

Here's your 5am cheery wake up call (an hour late because I slept in.) (grrrr)

New sobriety is an interesting animal-of-a-different-color. Compound that with new sobriety found when taking bac? oy. You've got an animal never before seen. Right?

That's where AA has stood me in good stead, and where it helped having input from DG before she decided we were on two completely different paths.

The sensitivity, the mood swings, the dealing with life's issues when one has been drunk for (in my case) a long time? Common afflictions in sobriety. They are compounded, I think, from taking bac. Forget about the delicate chemicals in the brain for a minute, I sometimes feel as though it's so different, so heretical, that no-one else gets it. And they don't. So thank goodness I've got you people. It's been a life-saver, literally.

MWO is more quiet than I've ever seen it. That concerns me. Not for me, or frankly, even for you RedH, sort of. But for the others in the throes of it. There is an unseen army out there, taking bac, committed to anonymity or scared to post. It is also concerning for those that are brand new to indifference, I think. That was a strange and wonderful place for me. It still is.

Here's the thing about threads: They need attention. I know ALL about not getting feedback on one's thread. :H And then I'll get a pm or someone will mention it in another post. THAT is why I do it so frequently. Well, and because I like the idea of chronicling it for myself and I won't do that diligently anywhere but here.

I could go on and on and on and on in typical Ne fashion, but you get the point, I suppose.

And yes to what you pointed out and bleep agreed with. When my time is really limited I look for the ones that are in need, or are brand new. hmmm. Come to think of it, I should've started this post out with a lecture, RedH. You've met the goal. Share the wealth will you? (watch. now I'll have to eat those words because it will turn out that you're all over the place and I am sadly lagging in my mwo reading. whatever. Don't be mad. If it's not you, then I'll send that thought out to the dozen or more people who are reading and not posting and should be, imo. lol)

We need a thread, imho, to take Murph's place in his absence. (I'll also point out that there are several of us missing atm. Ig is traveling. I'm not here nearly as much. Who else? Can't remember.)

Lots of love, peeps!
Me

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

bleep;1118221 wrote: I'd love to find that level, the happy level, but I fear it is so far below my not-drinking level that I am unlikely to see it again sober

hmmm. We're facing all sorts of dilemmas and conundrums, individually and as a group. We've lost our only coping mechanism, and we're actually feeling things. (:H sort of)

No wonder, right? It's not a happy pill. Thankfully, since we all know that those bite you in the ass in the end. It's a getting sober and facing life on life's terms pill. Thankfully!

It seems to me that I'm the only one it makes uber-joyful! Whenever I'm blue, I wonder if I'm taking enough! :H I'm so glad that taking more is not an option for happiness, 'cause I'm an alcoholic and I look for easy solace.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

redhead77;1118073 wrote: I haven't noticed any mood problems.

The problem with "mood problems" is that the person suffering from them doesn't know that they are suffering from them.

I've seen it over and over and over and over again. Newly indifferent, people (myself included) drop down quickly. Suddenly you find that their posts are changing flavor. Some of that is the newfound sobriety conundrum. Much of it is messing with the delicate brain chemicals. You've just essentially od'd on a medication that you've been titrating up for months on. Then you drop it rather quickly and think that all things remain the same? hmmm. Come on, Red. Think about it. There's a balance somewhere in there, and you may have found it, but beware my friend. I've seen the descent too many times not to give a warning.

They also find that they are enjoying a glass or two, but not thinking it's a threat, because it's nothing like what it was. Until it is.

Just sayin.
:l and :h
Ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

RudyB;1117948 wrote: Hey Red,
I thought Snus WAS chewing tobacco. Not that it's important... but if there's something in between smoking and chewing, I'd love to know about it...

You have me here rooting for you on all fronts, dear.
xo rudyb

It IS the middle ground, I think. When I had the saliva/spitting thing I put it in the wrong place, the place where people who chew tobacco put it (lower back part.)

And I used the big one the last time. There are sizes. The two other times I've used it I used the small size and the wintergreen flavor. MUCH better for a Ne, it turns out.

I'm going to try it again starting tomorrow, with an effort toward actually reducing my cigarette intake.

Me, too, dears!
xo, Ne