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    This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

    Geez Murphy. I was getting to it. As far as my patients being hypochondriacs, I don't think so. Often, they have a hard time talking to me, or even breathing for that matter.
    My kids on the other hand, well that is a different matter.

    I started back to work yesterday. It was the first day of my contract in a new place. It was a long shift, and I got my butt kicked. Being in the weeds, isn't just for restaurants. I waited tables in the summers while in college, and I can't help but think of the term, when I get busy in the hospital.

    The challenge is not just going back to work. The dose of baclofen I'm on (120), is suitable to my employment. I can tell a difference in my mentation about 2 hours after I take it, but it's nothing that makes it impossible for me to work. This is unlike before, when I couldn't even function well on 30 mg. For lurkers or newbies, the spaciness does subside, and we can return and function in life. This is amazing, because like I said I was working in a new place.

    I was supposed to get a computer charting orientation on Wednesday. I showed up, and they forgot I was coming. I was assigned to an employee with a full assignment, who couldn't really spend much time showing me the ropes. I didn't sleep well on Thursday, knowing I was going in blindly. It turned out fine. Luckily, I'm fairly adaptable, and the staff was nice. You never know what you're going to get. I work in a predominantly female profession, and they can be catty with newcomers. We even had a heavy duty trauma come in, and I was able to give some suggestions. They were well received. A big problem is, I don't know any of the docs. They all have things they like and don't.

    I did have an episode where I was busy in a patient room, and a doc called to talk to me. The secretary told me to hurry, he doesn't like to be on hold long. What? Ohhhh, really? :H I told her to tell him to wait, or call back. I'm busy taking care of a patient. I have a job to do. I don't put up with that shit, and we'll be quickly establishing that. The fact that I don't tolerate crap from docs, is well known at my previous job. People would even talk about it. I once told a CV surgeon off in the middle of the unit, with everyone lurking (cowering would be more accurate, they were truly scared for me). He deserved it though. There would be no question that he respects me now.

    I was scheduled to work today. I was cancelled. I make more than the staff, so I'm the first to get called off, if census drops. I can only be cancelled once in my 4 week contract. Once this contracts done, I'm certain they'll want to resign me. If not, my previous employer called again, and they offered me a job that will work for me. I'll still have to do holidays, but 8 hour holidays, and they won't put me in rotation. I'll be able to pick them. I think this is what I'm going to do. I miss everyone and the feeling is mutual. I'm ready to go back.

    I'm grateful to be cancelled today, so I could catch up on MWO. I have childcare here this weekend, so I was really able to be on here some. I have more to say, but this post is lengthy, and I have somewhere to go. My friends are texting me, wanting me to come and play. I, of course, have to be up at 5 am, so it will be an early night. Not that I plan to drink much and get crazy. I haven't drank in maybe a week. I'm not even sure at this point. It's long enough, I'm losing track. If I were to have one or two tonight, would it be problem? Not to me, but to most of MWO, it would.
    This Princess Saved Herself

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      This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

      Have fun and who cares what other people think? You're a grown up and able to make your own decisions, despite my earlier comments regarding CL bloke appearing to suggest I believe the contrary is true (sorry about that).

      The offer from your old employer sounds good. Looks like it's all coming together.:goodjob:

      The unexamined life is not worth living

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        This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

        howdy red and all! 3 am here and i'm awake. oh, i guess it's 4 am now. not much to say except about snus. my brother in law has been a nicotine addict forever. he smoked heavily for twenty years, and over the past several he's used the nicotine lozenges. today i mean yesterday i saw he had this familiar round box that looked like chewing tobacco. i asked him: "is that snus?!" and he said yes! imagine my delight! now it all comes into focus. i tried some and it's great. now i even have a supplier (he says there's only 5 places in nyc that sell it, but i'm sure he'll get me some.) whoopee. there's hope for my stinky breath!

        who used that word 'mentation'? i think it was you red. good one! never heard or read it before, but i think i'll try it out.

        anyway, suppose i should force myself back into bed. planning on a yoga class in the am. better not be too stinky for that! surely everyone would smell it with all that deep breathing...

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          This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

          Rudy, beware the American snus, it's poisonous shit. It has to be the Swedish snus. What was the brand?

          The unexamined life is not worth living

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            This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

            Murphyx;1121973 wrote: Have fun and who cares what other people think? You're a grown up and able to make your own decisions, despite my earlier comments regarding CL bloke appearing to suggest I believe the contrary is true (sorry about that).
            I'm not sure I do care what people think. It's still a fact. When people read that I may have a drink or two, I'm sure it makes them mucho uncomfortable. Gotta run. Off to work. No issues last night. Was home at a reasonable hour, sober. Have a good day everyone.
            This Princess Saved Herself

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              This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

              it was the swedish snus. we discussed the american version (he's such an in intellectual it is a delight; conversations with him feel like brain exercise), which we readily agreed must be horrible. no camel-version snus for us!

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                This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                I would love to contribute to the astinence, moderation, and indifference thread, but I can't. Because, I got drunk last night. I have been avoiding this post all day. Seeing that I work the next couple of days, I thought it best to get it over with.

                I was driving home from work yesterday, when I felt I wanted (needed), a bottle of wine. I have a rather long commute, and I didn't start my commute thinking I was going to drink. By the end of it, I had a white hot need to.

                I didn't buy just any wine, I bought my favorite wine to get drunk on. I already knew before hand, what I was on a mission for. I can't tell you why. I didn't have a terrible day at work. It was better than the day before. I just felt like I needed to drink. I'm going to make this post short, because it is painful for me to write. In fact, I'm done writing it. I got drunk yesterday folks.
                This Princess Saved Herself

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                  This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                  red, i have much to say on this. but for now, i'll say be kind to yourself. please. on behalf of all of us here. you're not alone, and if you forgive yourself, it gives us all permission to forgive ourselves when we do the same thing. which so many of us do. doesn't mean we 'should' do it again. just means we're still lovable humans with a beautiful heart at our core who deserve forgiveness and acceptance no matter what.

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                    This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                    Hi Red. Is that the first drunk you've had since the switch, you sound very down about it and as if you're expecting some sort of reprimand apart from your own. Relax you don't go back to square one.

                    I would think that having had a drink will give you something of value to input on the other thread. Don't you just hate it when someone is very opinionated and have not even tried the alternative?

                    None of us go from alcoholic to norms in one day!
                    Started Baclofen 3/9/10 Hit my switch at 250mg on 21/11/10 Present maintenance dose of 50mg : started drinking after 1 year, upped dose to 80mg and stopped: Tapered to 30mg, started 6 months of drinking, upped dose to 240mg to stop 12/7/12

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                      This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                      also, red, i relate to the beginning of the commute vs the end. i've had exacly your experience. at the start of my ride home, i had no intention to drink. when i arrive home, inexplicably, i have a bottle at my side. as they say, go figure.

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                        This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                        The same thing has happened to me a number of times. Once you wake up tomorrow, it'll be a valuable experience to learn from. No judgement from this peanut gallery! :-) It was really really hard for me to come back here and admit that I fell off the wagon. I'm glad you came back today and not 2 months from now.

                        John

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                          This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                          I hope you had fun!

                          Otherwise it was a waste. That's the beauty of baclofen Red. If I remember correctly you were tapering down slowly? There's you answer. Or even if you weren't tapering down, just go up a level, and you'll find the need disappears.

                          I'm finding that's the trick, for me - finding the right level. You'll get better at it with practice, but it's not a disaster a you try and pinpoint it and get it wrong.

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                            This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                            Hi Red, bummer. As Bleep says, an increase in dose may kick the problem into the long grass. You did drop quite quickly, maybe it's just caught up with you.

                            I know you think you can't cope on a higher dose but I've found that the SEs are greatly reduced the second time I go up to a particular dose. If you try it, it may be doable.

                            Other than yesterday, you haven't felt any urges? Or have they been there just manageable? Can you identify what kicked it off? Good day at work, so not that. Anything else that's cropped up recently that could have caused it?

                            It's not the end of the world. It's fixable one way or another.

                            Murph:l

                            The unexamined life is not worth living

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                              This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                              Morning, Red. Wow. What smart and insightful responses you have here.

                              There's more, though. I did it. Four weeks after indifference. I felt terrible. Ashamed and all that other stuff. Not to mention the hangover from hell.

                              Murphy did it too. I wish I had time to find his next morning post. Murph, you were bereft, were you not?

                              I'd forgotten that you went down. HA! Well, of course. There's your answer and your remedy. What they said about going bac up is also true for me. It was relatively easy and painless to go bac up, rather significantly in my case. (100mg to 200mg over a couple of weeks.) I still get a little sleepy, but nothing close to rivaling actual somnolence/fatigue and I'm VERY sedentary these days.

                              :l sister.
                              Ne

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                                This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                                I only have time for a quick reply. Firstly, thanks for the support!! I can't tell you how valuable it is to me. I didn't have fun Bleep. I think it was total alcoholic behavior. I got drunk...alone. I'm not saying we should strive to get drunk at any time, but the fact that I was alone is troubling. I don't know if I can go up. I have had some urges, but they are manageable. It is usually when I haven't eaten, and my blood sugar gets low. Booze, is still the first thought that comes to mind to handle the uncomfortable feeling. Hypoglycemia causes intense anxiety. Once I eat, it is gone, POOF!

                                If I go up, it would have to be really slow. I'll think about it. I tend to work long shifts in chunks, so maybe I could do it on my group of days off. I have 4 days off, after working the next 2.

                                I think I may have some other drinking triggers for me (in my mind). That is a another story entirely, and really not any kind of excuse. I'm going to have to get over some of this shit.

                                Gotta go. Love you guys. :l
                                This Princess Saved Herself

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