This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red! i haven't read through your whole post yet, but am so looking forward to doing just that soon. just wanted to say it's good to see you again! when you get a sec, check out my thread. i managed to figure out how to post pics, and there's one of my eggplant which, when i took, i was thinking of you again. sure wish we were neighbors!

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red, you made me cry. :l

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Don't cry Murphy. Although, I admit, I did do some crying on the day I spent with her at her grave. It was cathartic (sp?) and what I needed. I'm just happy maybe the ones of us who are still living, and heaven forbid, my kids if they get this affliction, may have better lives. I am so grateful to bac and Dr A for this! I feel joy when I think about it.

Miss Rudy, I did see some of your pics. There's some other stuff I want to address on your thread too. I'll be back later, to do so. And I can't blame you if you can't read through my novel right now. I was thinking, maybe I should write a book about all this stuff (under a pen name of course :H), so that way I don't have to make all of you try to weed through it.

[LadyLush]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red,

Wow!
You write beautifully and it is so good to hear you open up and free yourself. I need to do that real soon as well. I am so sorry about your mom and I too have alcoholic parents and grandparents that have died from the disease.

I have gotten my butt back in gear too because I found myself slipping into that ever so black hole again. It's stories like yours that help some of us stay focused.

Thanks sweetie and bless you for what you have gone through and what you now have.

LL :l

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hi Red.

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red, i just finally read your post. wow! and what better audience than us? i mean, dear, it's not like you're writing drivel about boobies or hot soccer players! we'd never stand for that! sounds like you did go exactly where you needed to. sorry about your mom, her history, her demise. that is surely a lot to come to terms with. yes, let the worlds of people to come avoid that tragic fate. what a cruel disease!

love ya!

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Luscious, I don't think I write beautifully, but I would sell copies of my book just due to the shock factor. I would be a one hit wonder, and if Oprah were still doing interviews, would most likely earn a spot on her chair. :H

Hi Bleepster.

I suppose I can bring it here Miss Rudy, but I always feak out after I do. I then want to delete my post. This is happening to me this morning.

Question for you that know what I'm talking about. I'm bringing it to my thread to avoid derailing another's. Does the reason skipping a dose of bac not matter, due to the nature of HDB, and that the half life is reduced? This would make perfect sense.

If so, when and how did this come to be 'decided'?

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

It's the first time it's come up, I think. It's one of the reasons I suggest small and regular doses during titration. It's so hard to keep track of your doses on the way up, and this way, a missed or doubled up dose really is meaningless if you are taking small amounts.

I reckon with people who are maintaining a dose, missing a dose every now and again makes very little difference, just because of the percentages. If you're on say, 200, that you take in 5 lots of 40, suddenly forgetting a 40 on a random day can't do a lot to the long term level of baclofen in your CNS? That's what I was thinking when I replied to Rudy, anyway.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Redhead. Wow. Thank you for sharing your profound and moving journey.

redhead77;1162786 wrote:

Question for you that know what I'm talking about. I'm bringing it to my thread to avoid derailing another's. Does the reason skipping a dose of bac not matter, due to the nature of HDB, and that the half life is reduced? This would make perfect sense.

If so, when and how did this come to be 'decided'?

I am not sure what you are talking about? I saw bleep's response. Mine is that I don't know, but I'm not sure what we're talking about.

I'm taking 200mg. 40mg/5xday. I can tell if I miss a dose. Within the hour. It's not uncomfortable but I can tell. I really wouldn't want to miss one altogether, but my body lets me know it's time, for the most part. I certainly would not want to take 120mg in a short period of time, or skip some because of missed doses. But I've done both. Dr. L's response to a missed dose was that I shouldn't make it up, and should stick to the schedule. But I would guess that depends on all of the other factors...How much missed? How long on bac? Over what period of time?

As to the posting intimate thoughts conundrum: Red, if anyone gets it, I get it. I erased half my thread because of it. I know. I also know that it helps so much more than we can fathom that I keep doing it.

You can't know who or what or where you are helping. I just got a PM from a guy in South America who isn't participating here! (I don't think???) Posting things related to the journey matters. It's not about you. It's about us! That's my take on it, anyway. I want to erase this whole damn post. really.
:l

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

ne, why would you erase that whole great post?! you crazy!

red, the missing doses has been up for me, too. au courant, is that question! i've been flaking on dosing during the day, with the question of what to do pressing on me in the evening. i try to get as much down before i sleep, but i haven't noticed much change in attitude when i miss 40 mg, plus or minus. i bet i've got enough bac in my system to carry me through (at my usual 180 mg), knowing nada about half-life stuff.

and the sharing personal stuff here. golly gee, without it i wouldn't have much to say! but that same kind of self-consciousness is with me lately, too. sometimes what i post seems so frivilous and navel-gazing-ish. but where better to share it?! it feels cathartic (i think you spelled it right) to do so, and so i do. i encourage you to keep doing same. i know I enjoy reading all about what's up on your end!

and i think you should write a book! oprah may still be publishing... or at least endorsing books. bring it on, sistas!

xo rudy b

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I'm glad you didn't erase your post to me Ne. I just want to clarify what I was thinking this morning, and what I should have been thinking all along. HDB has a long half life. I didn't mean it was reduced this morning, I meant it is longer (I had a shit night of sleep, I really didn't get any, and this was before my 12 hour shift). When a half life of a drug is longer, it stays in your system and does its job for longer. Meaning, we really shouldn't have issues if we miss one dose or don't take a dose on time. It shouldn't derail our abilities to avoid the sauce or reduce our intake. If it's just one, or here and there.

I, unfortunately, have trouble with critical and logical thinking when on HDB. My emotional mind takes over. This has been going on for months...I think? It makes me worried about taking this drug, and makes me understand why I've had so much trouble working on it. My job requires a high level of critical thinking.

A couple of weeks ago, I missed a single 30mg dose. I couldn't figure out why my drinking went up in the day or two that followed. I posted about my concerns and it was mentioned that one 30mg miss could cause me to derail. I also mentioned that the experience of what I did was stressful for me, and I didn't know what to attribute it to. Knowing what I know about drugs, I have to think it wasn't the missed dose, but it was the stress, that had me picking up the drink. I still can't be sure, because I don't know or understand enough about this drug in high doses. I know I'm not the only one. :l

I then got to thinking, with the responses on Miss Rudy's thread, that maybe you guys had discussed this offline. Bleepster answered Miss Rudy in a different way than he answered me. I thought maybe this has been figured out amongst y'all. I was trying to figure out if you guys had the answer because I'm looking for it.

One good thing, I took all my doses of bac at work today. I plan to make this the majority of days I work. I've even gotten good at swallowing the pills without H20. I just have to break them in half. :H

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Nah, it's more that theories about this stuff seem to change from hour to hour! It's very frustrating. What made perfect sense, and seemed so logical last week suddenly doesn't seem to apply. I think progress is being made, but slowly.

For god's sake - bring out the results of that study!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

redhead77;1163122 wrote:
Knowing what I know about drugs, I have to think it wasn't the missed dose, but it was the stress, that had me picking up the drink. I still can't be sure, because I don't know or understand enough about this drug in high doses. I know I'm not the only one. :l

I think that what you're saying is that baclofen eases your stress? And therefore missing a dose increased your stress? Unrelated to missing it, or because you were worried about missing it?

Bottom line? Yes, stress leads to booze, I think. For me, anyway. I think that's one of the keys. Ed's staring at me. Gotta go right now.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

What I was saying Ne, is I'm not sure that missing that one dose of bac, could have caused me to drink. I'm wondering if it wasn't the missed dose or anything related to, but internal factors. It just seems the nature of this drug and the high half life should make missing a dose not so problematic. I'm not sure at this point. Many, you included, say missing or even taking their dose late causes problems. Since I don't have all the answers (no one does), I will try to take all of my doses and as consistenly as possible.

I'm at 180mg. I take 30mg x6 q3 hours. That last dose can be hard to fit in, so sometimes I take the last one around 2 hours later. I find 30mg to be a good dose for me, it would be easier for me to take 40mg and less often, but so far I haven't been able to build a tolerance to it. I did in the past, take 40mg late in the evening before bed. It might contribute to insomnia when I do it this way. Soon I will have to find a way to take either more at once, or the 30mg more frequently. I am already having a hard time fitting it all in, and I will need to go up on my dose soon.

Here's a recap of what I'm doing and what's happening to me physiologically. I have mostly been titrating up by 10mg a week. I have had some weeks where I've thoroughly messed up my dosing, and I couldn't even take what I was supposed to let alone titrate up. I've gotten that back on track as of this point and am titrating up slowly. If I could do it over again, I would do it the way I am now. If any of you remember, I had severe SE's early on and stopped working in March, and thought I would use the time to reach indifference. I was going up by 20mg every three days. In retrospect it too much for me. I suffered hallucinations, couldn't function at all (and I still had a very full time job of raising 3 kids during this), would forget to take a shower for days at a time, until I would remember by how I smelled! A big day for me would be making it to the grocery store to buy food. None of this is occurring now. I do have days where the SE's are more intense (I've had some new ones, the trouble breathing, and a numb tongue and lips), nothing that's a deal breaker. I make it to work, and I'm working a ton. I go nonstop around here when I'm off. I'm sleeping at night lately, I only wake up once, usually around 4am.

Everything has been much smoother sailing until a couple of days ago, when I started having extreme anxiety. I will say, I had crippling anxiety before bac, and it ceased almost immediately when I started taking it. It is back and with a vengeance. Maybe some of the worst I've ever experienced. I thought I was having a heart attack at work yesterday.

I'm not sure at this point if this is bac related or not. If it is, I'm very concerned. I'm not sure if I could go on living this way. I took a half of a xanax this am. It is .25mg for me, I have the .50 tabs. I am finally feeling normal. I've been feeling like I have to drink the last few days just to ease the anxiety. Booze always works, but it also is a viscious cycle. I'm sure it may have the rebound effect of anxiety the next day. It is a horrible feeling, and I've felt like I need to make it stop, any way possible!

There may be some other reasons I'm feeling this way. I have some food allergies (I believe, I'm believing it more and more) and I cheated on my diet...a lot on vacation. It is hard to always eat gluten free on the run. I broke out all over my face with zits just prior to getting home. I wouldn't even call them zits. They are like deep, huge, underground things. They are now in various stages of healing. I had added dairy back in my diet around the same time, and maybe I need to cut it out again. I noticed in the past, both my anxiety and depression return when I eat the wrong foods. I'm going to get the food thing back on track, and I am hopeful this is the reason I'm struggling so.

[Bruunhilde]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red, I just caught up on your thread, and I'm sorry it took me a while, but I wanted to thank you for opening your past so we can see you and your path more clearly. You've got the strength and intelligence, and now I know partly why you're so capable, you've had to be from a very young age and you've been through all kinds of hell.

About posting /sharing too much: I don't think that we could truly share our stories without divulging uncomfortable things, and I also have panicked over sharing some stuff, afraid I'd lose anonymity completely. However, I think its important (and not just for me) to be as open as possible. If I hadn't read stories like yours early on in my reading here, I wouldn't know as deeply that other people who are like me struggle with different things and worse things, and that its not just me being a loser that makes me drink. Keep your wonderful posting going!