This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Ha! Murphy, my kids could teach you thing or two. They know what I make, whether it turnes out good or bad, is made with a great love for them. They also know I am always trying to make them/us healthier and some of my recipes may not turn out great the first time, but usually they are much better the second...or third. :H

Sammi, you will get there. You are only on 40mg right now. Have patience and give it some time. Eventually all the things you've done when drunk will be memories. Even before you are indifferent there's a good chance you will stop drinking in the excessive manner you were before. Just keep taking the damn pills (jkttdp).

Awe Miss Rudy, I read you are suffering from some bad SEs right now. I don't want to say this on your thread because it makes me feel guilty. I wasn't a judge's daughter, but I feel guilty for just about anything and everything possible to feel guilty about. It is to my own detiment usually.

Tonight my heart sings. I have had 2 days with zero SEs. It is the weirdest thing. I was talking on the phone with a MWO friend on Friday evening and I told her I've had varying degrees of SEs since I started this...in February. They've never left. I told her I was concerned that maybe I would have to live my whole life on bac, with some degree of SEs. And then poof. Like a thief in the night...they were gone the next AM. And now today, I still feel normal, but I don't have a single urge to drink. It is fabulous. I could only imagine feeling like this everyday. It's what I dreamed the other side would feel like.

I have no idea why. I don't know if it's because I changed my dosing to 40mg at a time. I couldn't tolerate it before and now it's like nothing. As a matter of fact, I seem to be doing better. Or maybe it is just my time. Or maybe it's because I have had a stress free easy weekend at home. Or maybe it is only temporary.

I don't know, but I'm going to take it and love every single minute of it.

I'm listening to America's Greatest Hits, since I was reminded how much I adore this band. And here is a good song to leave you with.

http://youtu.be/QYGvKc7Q1PU[/video]]America | Lonely People - YouTube

[_serenity_]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red, that news is wonderful. Here's to many more days of no SE's! :l

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Great news Red. About the lack of SEs that is, not the making your poor kids eat healthy crap. You should take them to McDonalds every day, like any normal, caring parent would.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

My appt with Dr Levin

Today I worked on Redhead's Fresh Roma Pasta Sauce (for gluten free pasta of course). I got as far as boiling the tomatoes and skinning them. I'll finish chopping them after they cool, and finish the sauce in the next day or two. I hope I can still call it fresh. I should have done it all today. It takes like 3 hours to cook down the sauce, so I'll never be able to finish it tonight. Instead I had more important things to do, such as visit Dr Levin.

I haven't seen Dr Levin in quite a while. It is embarrassing to admit. I've been avoiding him because of the interview I did on bac. I was worried he'd be angry with me for going against his belief that there aren't any SEs. I said on air that I had to back way down from my switch dose, which made me no longer indifferent. All due to the horrendous SEs I suffered. I was lucky enough I had not one, but two refills. I was able to avoid him for quite a while. I finally had to bite the bullet today...I'm starting to get dangerously low.

Firstly, he is not mad at me in the least. It was rather silly to think he would be. He doesn't seem like the sort to get mad, I just couldn't be sure. I didn't want him to cut me off.

He was absolutely astounded with how I look. I have lost all the alcoholic bloat. I've also lost over 25lbs via diet and exercise. My eyes are bright blue and clear (no more blood shot eyes that are bulging like they're retaining h2o or something)...fish eyes. My skin is healthier. My demeanor is different...more relaxed. All he could do was smile at me. He was so taken aback, I think he could hardly believe it. He first asked me what dose I was taking. I told him I went up to 210 yesterday. He said I don't even need to ask how you're doing with the drinking. I can tell by looking at you. Are you drinking at all? I told him I had been drinking some, but nothing like I did prebac. I then reiterated my switch story and the interview and whatever. I explained that again at 200mg, I am noticing some major changes. I have had two nights in the last 10 days in which I drank. I drank 2 glasses of wine one night and maybe three the other (the three was just a couple of days after my increase to 200). I nursed them over many hours, but the truth is on this level of bac, and all together, it is just plain too much. I have been able to maintain a very reduced consumption to my prior levels even when not indifferent. I can go many AF days. The difference at the moment is it takes no willpower. He told me I am very close to indifference right now. He didn't really need to tell me this. I already know it!!

The important thing here would be, I'm heading for indifference this time with a relatively clear head and few SEs. It is amazing. The few SEs I was having are 90% cleared up. Even with titrating up yesterday.

*I want to tell y'all more about the visit, but I wouldn't want you to have too much to read in one night. I know there's little to read around here at the moment, but still. I also have some cooled romas that need chopping and it's getting very late. I'll be back tomorrow after work to fill in the rest. :l

Nighty night.

[SlipperyPete]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

That's awesome how well you're doing! Hopefully you'll re-switch soon and with minimal SE's

redhead77;1175205 wrote:
My eyes are bright blue and clear

I can relate totally, although my eyes are more green. My eyes are really big and I have long eyelashes, and I used to get compliments on them all the time growing up. However, when I got depressed, they lost their color and turned gray. I remember about a month after starting bac, I kept looking in the mirror and noticing that something was different, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Finally after a few days I realized that the color was back!!

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I know I said I was coming back to talk about Dr L tonight. Sorry, no Dr L talk. It is too darn late. I didn't want to leave you hangin. I forgot I had a previous engagement this evening. I remembered at work, when I saw I only scheduled myself 8 hours today. My girlfriend had a Pure Romance party and I agreed to attend some time ago. I admit I had a great time. I even learned a couple of things. The right would be for sniffin and the left would be for lickin. I may have found myself a third part-time job. I might have a knack for this and it would be super fun. Plus you get free and discounted merchandise. I'll just start for now by having a party at my house. I'm having it at the end of October, and I'm inviting all the nurses and female docs. The company's motto is to educate, enlighten, and empower women about their bodies. Heck yeah folks! :h Some of the ladies got pretty loaded. But not me.

Nighty night again. I'm up for work in 5 short hours...sigh. It was worth it.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Oh, and SP, your eyes sound spectacular. You probably make some of the girls jealous. Both of my boys have super long thick lashes. They have brown eyes after their father, though. It's the dominant gene. I always think when I look at their lashes that the girls will be jealous someday. :H

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red! great stuff you write! i love the se's news. maybe i'll try the larger dose at a time. se's have been ever-present for me, from 180 to 200 and now down to 160. they're less now, but still always here. tingling skin and zappy hands. stingy tongue. i still wanna drink some, but nothing like what it was, not even close. i'm okay with current status quo, which leaves me at a few beers a week.

your tomato sauce reflects your impressive discipline! you actually skin those buggers?! i'd probably just strain the skins out after cooking, if even that! let me know, please, what else you do to make the sauce wonderful, and freeze-worthy. if i can get to my romas in time, i'll have plenty to do in the next several days...

i was channeling you a bit yesterday. one, about the romas and getting them ready for use. another, about writing too much personal info on my thread (which happened at 10 thirty last night, and was then deleted at 3 thirty am). and somthing else, what was it... i'll think of it...

my son, too, has long, thick lashes. they really do put on a show, huh?! he has the blue eyes from my grandmother and father. mine are green like pete's, and i wonder if my lashes are quite as long.

love your account of your meeting of Dr L. cool that you get to see him in person. yep, we do change quite a bit when we stop abusing our bodies! upon my return to work i find myself surrounded by taller-than-before students and wider-than-before colleagues. i stand out in my opposite transformation, and i can see them noticing. some might even resent me for it. but i'd like to tell them -if only they'd ask- that the trick is to find active things that you love to do so much, such that you can't stop doing them. that'll get you skinny and bright. right?!

unlike murph, i knew your garden would grow and produce. good for you! i have a friend who grew up on a farm in romania. he still gardens like crazy, but has the funny idosyncricity that i share which is that he loves to prepare and plant the soil, but he usually slacks on the harvest end. his gardner friend asked him if maybe he was simply one of the 'planter' branches of gardening. the other two being 'weeder' and 'harvester'. i love the tacit permission that holds; it's not bad or wrong to have your bent. nothing to feel GUILTY about! we also talked about the guilt factor, my romanian and i, and how it's part of our culture. i'd like to delve more into that and figure out how to avoid letting it continue to seep into my subconscious. it truly sucks and IS always to one's detriment. and it definitely doesn't only happen to judges' kids.

ok, well i've gotta get back to my bed, where i cut down the ugly green hedges and am going to get into the ground -today- a whole flat of echinacea. whoopee.

keep your news coming, red, if you would please. it's great stuff. and as the good people are saying, it's great to read!

love ya!
ruby dee

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

oh, and about the thing of being planters not harvesters, we let the question stand: does it reflect an unrecognized attitude that we're not deserving of what we've grown? (though, i think not. i think, rather, that complacency sets in on a job well-done, and we get a little lazy. harvesting is constant work, fruitfulness notwithstanding!)

[SlipperyPete]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

redhead77;1175703 wrote: I always think when I look at their lashes that the girls will be jealous someday. :H

When they reach a certain age, your house is inevitably going to be flooded with girls that are enamored with your sons and their lashes. You will get no peace, and will have to tear the girls off your sons for them to leave. Are you OK with this?

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

_serenity_;1174444 wrote: Red, that news is wonderful. Here's to many more days of no SE's! :l
I know this is late Serenity. I just want to say I consider it an honor that you visited my thread. I used to read your posts as a luker and then later as a poster. However much you choose to contribute to MWO is of value.

Reggie;1175839 wrote: Hi redhead77 sorry dont post much when i do i usally delete out of shyness ( in fact not at all on your thread I dont think so.... but may have)anyway..... I have studiously followed your wonderful thread ..what a ripper of a yarn!!!! love it!!! you are so much in the minds eye of all of us ..simply wonderful perceptive and very wise words that constitute and populate your posts..anyway keep doing it your thoughts are so spot on!!!!! a song for you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z6Gy_A_wIM[/video]]Jona Vark - Gypsy & The Cat - LIP DUB - YouTube

Reggie, you made my day today. Since history tends to repeat itself, I thought your post would be gone by the time I returned home and could listen to your song. I love this song. And the lyrics are pretty cool too. Thank you my friend, it means a lot to me.

RudyB;1175886 wrote:
your tomato sauce reflects your impressive discipline! you actually skin those buggers?! i'd probably just strain the skins out after cooking, if even that! let me know, please, what else you do to make the sauce wonderful, and freeze-worthy. if i can get to my romas in time, i'll have plenty to do in the next several days...

i was channeling you a bit yesterday. one, about the romas and getting them ready for use. another, about writing too much personal info on my thread (which happened at 10 thirty last night, and was then deleted at 3 thirty am). and somthing else, what was it... i'll think of it...


love your account of your meeting of Dr L. cool that you get to see him in person. yep, we do change quite a bit when we stop abusing our bodies! upon my return to work i find myself surrounded by taller-than-before students and wider-than-before colleagues. i stand out in my opposite transformation, and i can see them noticing. some might even resent me for it. but i'd like to tell them -if only they'd ask- that the trick is to find active things that you love to do so much, such that you can't stop doing them. that'll get you skinny and bright. right?!

ok, well i've gotta get back to my bed, where i cut down the ugly green hedges and am going to get into the ground -today- a whole flat of echinacea. whoopee.

keep your news coming, red, if you would please. it's great stuff. and as the good people are saying, it's great to read!

love ya!
ruby dee

Miss Rudy, my tomatoes are skinned after I boil them. I cut the stems out, do an x on the top and place them in boiling h2o for 1-2 minutes. The skins then slide right off. It really isn't hard or too time consuming. I could give you the exact way I cook the sauce (recipe) and how I freeze it if you want. I just mostly scoop the sauce into freezer bags that hold whatever serving I want.

I totally get the personal info thing. Posting it, needing to delete it, whatever. I only say this because I do all of the above regularly. I feel it's fluid with me. I am sometimes OK with saying too much, and other times I freak out. I wake up, and edit or delete, in the middle of the night. Just like you. Knowing all the while, that everyone across the Atlantic and whatever sea, has already read it. :H Flipping time zones!

My cowokers are perplexed about me too. I left for a mere 4 months and came back looking...well you get it. They do ask me what I'm doing. I obviously can't tell them I take HDB to kill a drinking problem. I tell them about my antifungal diet and my exercise regimen (which works out to 30% of my change probably). They listen with great interest, but deep down they know there's no way in hell they'd do it. :H

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

SlipperyPete;1176077 wrote: When they reach a certain age, your house is inevitably going to be flooded with girls that are enamored with your sons and their lashes. You will get no peace, and will have to tear the girls off your sons for them to leave. Are you OK with this?

I guess you didn't fit into my multi-quote thing SP. That's OK, I have much to say regarding this. What would the alternative be? Tearing off boys? :H I think what you propose is better, at least in the way society judges these things. People comment on how handsome my boys are already. No matter what, I'll have my hands full.

I'm OK with whatever it is. As long as there's no baby momma drama when they are young, or incurable STDs. You might be thinking "incurable STDs?" Wth, Redhead?...You should be thinking no STDs. I think sometimes mistakes are made, but I just hope none of my children make any that are permanent, ya know? I'm am continually thinking of all these things and am already prepping them for the right decisions.

EDIT: Oh good. It still works. For any of you who read the sex ed talk I had with my son and the one which his father didn't have, I fear it sounded like I took away an opportunity for bonding with them. I didn't. Their dad wasn't even taking them much of the time. He was busy with his GF and they were left to feel neglected. He was just pissed because he dropped the ball...again.

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Haaa, what's the betting you'll be a granny within ten years?:H

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Regarding my visit with Dr L, here is what we discussed:

Some of this is info many of you know already. I will repost it for the others who haven't read it somewhere. Regarding the switch dose, he maintains that we should take the switch dose for the rest of our lives. Or a dose close to it. This is obviously not convenient for the people who switch at 300mg or more. I'm not sure if it's even possible for most people, if they were taking doses this high. In his experience, most people switch by 280mg or so. He said, originally Dr A said it would be okay to come down. Ameisen has now changed his mind and believes we should take something close to the switch dose...well I guess forever. I did not ask if Ameisen is back taking his switch dose. I believe he wouldn't share personal info regarding Ameisen with me and quite frankly, if Ameisen himself doesn't share it, I don't think I should be. I will assume he is, if he is advising everyone else to do it.

I explained my concerns regarding this. The main one would be, what are the long term health implications? I'm not comfortable with the lack of data on this drug to want to stay on HDB for the rest of my life. I'd do it if it were the only way, but y'all know what I mean. His response was they believe it's safe. I asked him according to what? Who has been on it for a very long time? He said, Ameisen of course, has been on it the longest. He is in prime health. There are others too, who have been on it for a number of years. I informed him Dr A is one person. I can't base everything on one person. He understands, but tells me it seems people are most successful long term, on a dose closer to their switch.

He then went on to tell me Ameisen was here in Chicago a couple of months ago. He gave a lecture on bac for addiction, at Northwestern. Northwestern U, which is where Dr L also works, has a large addictions psychiatry program. Dr L was very excited about it. He said the lecture and Dr A, were well received. Researchers and physicians were very interested in what he had to say. At this time, when Dr A was in the Chi, Dr L had close daily contact with him. He assures me he is in excellent physical health, even taking HDB. I actually wish I had known about this lecture. I would have gone to see...and listen.

*I'm assuming this experience has changed the speculated dynamic between the two doctors (some of you know what I'm talking about) For those of you who don't, I apologize, but I don't think it's necessary to go into it. It sounds like it was a very positive experience. One that will allow both physicians to communicate, which would be better for us I suppose, in relation to receiving accurate info.

We discussed how my SEs have impoved or gone away in the last week or two. He still doesn't believe that the drug itself, is the only cause of the SEs. I believe he is starting to come around a bit in his thinking, but he feels that the reduction in my SEs is most likely to be a sign of my brain healing. He thinks maybe the nature and damage to the alcoholic brain, may increase or contribute to the SEs. As time passes with no, or majorly reduced drinking, the brain will start to heal. It might be a contributing factor. Someone posted some studies of people taking HDB. Those people who weren't taking it for alcoholism, but for MS, seemed to report less SEs than what we see here. He thought maybe the SEs may be increased while drinking on this drug (I know this is true for me on the days after I drink, even moderately). He does not feel people should quit if they aren't able to. I guess if people had to quit drinking to take the drug, they may not take it.

He told me some people need smaller and more frequent doses. He doesn't believe the three times a day is the only way to go anymore. Smaller more frequent doses may be better tolerated by some. Really?
He also said if insomnia is a problem to take the last dose 2 hours before bedtime. All advice that's given regularly around here..

He's now getting referrals from other docs to treat their alcoholic patients with HDB. This seems to make him happy and excited. It also means he's busier than ever.

He would only give me less than half my refill amount this time. He doesn't want me to disappear again. There might be a thing or two more I wanted to share, but for the moment I'm done. It's a beautiful day here, and this is very long as usual.

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

wow, red! you're really on the front lines with this! thanks for the report.

i've taken your approach and started to dose 40 mg at a time. it's hard to say if this is any better, exactly, as i've done it the past two days only, during the weekend, and i can't quite tell if the se's are less, as their impact is not as 'impactful', shall we say (meaning, they don't interfere w my life the way that they would at work). but i'm thinking you might be onto something with that. i haven't had much in the way of se's that i can tell; no hand twitching or tingling to speak of, no somnolence (in fact, i tried to take a nap but couldn't drop off). so, i guess i take it back; the larger less frequent dose does, after all, seem to be minimizing se's for me. go figure. that's exactly the OPPOSITE of what i've oft advised people with bad se's to do!

boy, we're in a magical mystery tour here, aren't we?!