This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I am going to order piracetam. I have also made an appt with my old psychiatrist who treated me for depression. I will explain what I am seeking and why, after I get the script. If I get it, that is.

I went up by 10 mg once again, 2 days ago. I seem to be doing fine, except I woke up about 4 am in a confused state. Didn't know where I was, or what was happening. My first thought (although fleeting), was oh no, how much did I drink last night? What happened? I didn't drink anything last night. Boy that is a comforting feeling when you realize booze isn't what's causing it. It's just that I took a bigger dose than what I'm used to before bed. It was just my brain conjuring up remnants of the past. I haven't drank to blackout in a long time.

I have been doing fabulously with the drinking this past week. I won't tell you that a little white knuckling hasn't gone into it. It has. I drove to Iowa and back on Friday, to get my nanny. After I got home, I smelled a horrible chemical smell and my car wasn't accelerating well. I had to call over my husband's buddy to take a look at it. Yes, I bit the bullet and asked him for help. He's a mechanic and handy all around. I also had him look at my hot water heater. It's leaking a little. It turns out I may need an alternator and definitely need a new hot water heater this week. It of course, is the 50 gallon one, so more expensive. I barely heard the end of what he was saying. All I could think was, damn I need a stiff drink. I guess it's good I'm going to be working 2 jobs for the next couple of weeks. :H

My nanny is here. Yeah! When I went to pick her up at her home, her whole family was waiting to meet me. I suppose they needed to meet me and reassure themselves I didn't run a human trafficking ring. She had asked me to bring the kids, and now I know why. I'm thinking she was second guessing that, when on the way home my 2 year old lost it. :H That's a whole lot of driving to do in one day for a little kid. I would have made more stops, taken more breaks, but I had to get home for a baseball game. It's always zoom zoom around here.

She lives in the middle of nowhere. These would be some pics of her 'neighborhood'.





Yes, that is a dirt road. Most of the area around her home isn't paved. Sorry, my finger was in the way. It is hard to take photos while driving. :H I'm sure you can see why she may want to experience some other things. She lives outside a very small town. I'm not sure you could call it a town, but it did have a general store. Her family seems like nice people, simple people. When she left I thought her Mom was going to cry. This is the first time she's been away from home. She looked at her Mom and said "Mom, you know I need this". I guess it's time to spread her wings a bit and leave the nest. I just hope we can give her a good experience away from home. It's really not her fault she doesn't like many foods, she hasn't been exposed to many. I was cutting up an avocado yesterday, and she had really never seen one. She's never tried guacamole.

EDIT: I took out the beginning of my post. It sounded kind of like I was insinuating I don't consider people to be supportive if they don't communicate with my offline. This isn't the case my friends. I consider all of you to be supportive!

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

I went to the grocery store yesterday armed with a list. I asked her what she wanted and the responses were peanut butter Captain Crunch, Ramen noodles, crackers with that processed canned cheese, to name a few. Oy vey! I did comply. I don't want to culture shock her too much. At dinnertime I made grilled chicken, roasted summer veggies, and twice baked potatoes. She liked the chicken and potatoes, but not the veggies. I'm not worried about her, but I do worry my kids will think they don't have to eat what I serve because she's not. I have a rule in this house, eat what I serve, or starve. They do it, and like far more foods, than most kids.

What I did at dinner when they started complaining they didn't want veggies either, is explain, here in this house, they will continue to eat what I serve. The nanny is a grown up (kind of), and may choose her food. When they grow up, they will have the choice as well. If they don't want veggies then, they don't have to eat them. Of course, they will have acquired a taste for all good things by then, and it won't be a worry.

This answer seemed to appease them. We are laying out ground rules and infastructure. This whole process is an adjustment. Outside of the food, things are going well in the short few days we've had her here. She seems to like us. Imagine that?

[taw]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

So glad to see you back, Red! And that things seem to be looking up for you! Glad the girl seems like she will work out! And once you find a schedule that works for everyone you can concentrate on getting better! Good job on the drinking too! I have been thinking about you and hoping things were going better for you!

Let me know if I can do anything for you!

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Thanks taw! I still was lurking a bit. I don't want too much catching up with the threads.

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Well I've never tried avocados. Does that mean I'm weird? OK, don't answer that. My wife eats them with vinegar and pepper. Vinegar and pepper on a fruit!!!! WTF is that about?

Anyhoo, your girl sounds sweet. I'd be tempted to get her pissed and leave her in a bar...just for fun.

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

good stuff, red! glad to hear about your nanny! and you had me in stitches when i read your post with those very telling pictures. i loved her words, "mom, i need this." so cute.

my potential live-in gal is moving to austin, so i won't be having her, alas. but maybe that's a good thing; things have a way of working out the way that they're supposed to, ultimately.

and so glad to hear about the lack of booze. whooo hoo! in case you haven't kept up w the huge reading committment offered by my post, i do believe that i may have reached the switch (at 190 mg). maybe is the operative word, as today, when i stopped to buy smokes, i did have to talk to myself a bit about the beer. so maybe i'm not totally indifferent, but i'm awfully close. i didn't buy the beer, not even for what might've been just a glass. here i am typing and trying not to smoke too much, and not missing the bubbly bitter ale. water tastes pretty nice!

go zoomin w that newly-enlarged family of yours. wish i could sit down to dinner with you and eat some of that delicious food you've prepared. go red!

xoxo rudy

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Murphy, at least you know what an avocado looks like. Now all you have to do is try one. They are creamy, delicious, and oh so good for you. Full of good fat, just like you need.

Rudy, I'm sorry about your girl. I tend to agree, in that everything happens for a reason. At least she didn't move in and then high tail it to Austin after. I've never been to Austin, but I hear it is a great city. It was voted second best place to live in the US, on the travel channel. Just a bit of trivia.

Yesterday, I planted my garden. I know, why plant a garden this late in the season? What's the point? I couldn't look out in my back yard anymore, and think of what could have been, should have been. Seeing the bed of weeds was making me nuts. I knew I had to weed it. Weeding it is more than half the battle, so I am going to take my chances. I bought plants, and while I have many things I couldn't plant, I did find enough to fill it up. I even tried some different things this year like eggplant.

A project it was. I weeded it for maybe 8 hours (over 2 days), and then I had to rent a rototiller. He took mine along with most of the other tools (when I was at work one day). I guess it's important to have rototiller in storage, whilst your away in Afganistan, or Iraq, or wherever he'll be for the next 4 plus years. Ah well. I'm not bitter or anything.

I went to the local home improvement store and asked them to rent a rototiller. You should have seen the beast they showed me. I told them I can't rent a truck to get it home, what else have you got...your smallest? It was still a mean machine. I had a hard time lifting it in and out of my car, and trying to operate the damn thing. You should have seen me out back, battling it. Talk about needing some upper body strength for this thing. I'm not a wimpy woman and it was crazy. I did win, I got that mean machine to cooperate. I had to return it, and man did I look disheveled. I was sweating with chunks of dirt in my hair and mud smeared on my body. The guy looked at me perplexed, and asked if everything worked out alright. (I think he expected me to say no :H).

I got the last of the plants in at 10 pm. It was so dark I kept losing the little plastic things to tell me what the plant is. I usually place those next to my plant until I remember, or something starts growing. As long as they're in the ground and watered, that's all that matters.

I'm so sore today, I could die. Lots and lots of motrin today. To think how much muscle relaxant I have in my system and how sore I still am...wowsers!

The moral of the story is...I grabbed the bull by the horns. Or the mean machine by the handle. I got it done, and I'm proud of myself. No more feeling misery over my weed bed.

I'm hobbling off to work now. I hope I don't have to bend down and get back up. Yeah, right...if only.

Have a good day peeps.

Redhead

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

you tell a great story, red!

i relate totally to your gardening experience, and it's quite impressive. my god, you sound just like me. and i have a version of your mechanic 'friend' who tilled my garden for me. took him four hours, but he was happy to do something for me to help keep me from drinking. and he probaly hoped it'd help him get into my pants. (i do wear the pants around here!) i'm thrilled for you that you've gone and gotten it done! how rewarding will that be?! (eggplants can be tough; they attract flea beatles, but those don't like moist, so keep them and the ground around them moist, and sticking several marigolds around them might help too. they'll still probably produce, though, even with their holey leaves.)

do you somke? i think you said you used to. well, weeding is a great alternative to that habit. it's helping me a bit, though i'm not free yet...

i bet your karen will grow leaps and bounds being around you. how great it is that you won't be trying to hide your drinks from her! and i bet youll get her to try guacamole. she doesn't know what she's missing, yet!

good to read about you, red. stay strong, as you clearly are!
sorry about the small hijack above. i just couldn't wait to tell my friend about my exciting new reality.

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hey RedH, I am loving your new posting style. Happy, fulfilling, empowering stuff. Not so many stories about your love life, but I'll forgive you that; I suppose there's only so many decrepit Cubans around. :H

Oh and avocados may be full of good fat, but they're also packed with calories and this fat lad is dieting.

[bleep]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Avocado tastes like shit, and it has the texture of slime. As a food source, I find it thoroughly inedible.

Your helper sounds cool, it'll be fun coaxing her out of her shell and showing her a little of the world.

As regards your baclofen dilemma, I'm a bit stumped. You need a couple of days to yourself to just go to 200 or something silly, so that when you go back down to 130, it seems like an effortless reduction. Having kids around makes this difficult though. It's the only thing I can think of.

You'll sort it out Red.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

RudyB;1137702 wrote: you tell a great story, red!

i relate totally to your gardening experience, and it's quite impressive. my god, you sound just like me. and i have a version of your mechanic 'friend' who tilled my garden for me. took him four hours, but he was happy to do something for me to help keep me from drinking. and he probaly hoped it'd help him get into my pants. (i do wear the pants around here!) i'm thrilled for you that you've gone and gotten it done! how rewarding will that be?! (eggplants can be tough; they attract flea beatles, but those don't like moist, so keep them and the ground around them moist, and sticking several marigolds around them might help too. they'll still probably produce, though, even with their holey leaves.)

do you somke? i think you said you used to. well, weeding is a great alternative to that habit. it's helping me a bit, though i'm not free yet...

i bet your karen will grow leaps and bounds being around you. how great it is that you won't be trying to hide your drinks from her! and i bet youll get her to try guacamole. she doesn't know what she's missing, yet!

good to read about you, red. stay strong, as you clearly are!
sorry about the small hijack above. i just couldn't wait to tell my friend about my exciting new reality.
I don't know what the hijack is Rudy. I consider it an expression. I heard a song today that reminds me of you. When I can figure out how to post it on your thread, I'm gonna. I'm glad to hear about the flea beatles, even though I have know ideas what they look like, or what they are. I'll just be on the look out for bugs. :H AND I totally smoke. It drives me flipping crazy. If I were an ex smoker I'd be chiming in about how I got there. Alas, I still can't do it. It will be soon for me though. What if I beat ya to it?

Yes, I find my Karen helps me to not need to drink. I came home from work today, and she was so happy to show me her accomplishments. She cleaned the bathrooms, watered my house plants (she over watered but who cares, it's the thought that counts), did all the kids laundry and put it away. Yesterday, while I was working on my garden, she organized my pantry, and my CD's and DVD's. I have a lot of CD's. They got all unorganized when I would get drunk and listen to music, then be too hungover to put it all away. It turns out she likes a lot of them. Mostly my very classic rock. Jefferson Starship, The Doors, and Pink Floyd (to name a few. I've got tons of classic rock). She also makes jewlery out of hemp. I think I may have a free spirit on my hands. I would ask her to buy a fattie, but I'm thinking that's not the professional way to go about things. Plus I could get drug tested at any moment, and I'm thinking that's not in my best interest.

Murphyx;1137729 wrote: Hey RedH, I am loving your new posting style. Happy, fulfilling, empowering stuff. Not so many stories about your love life, but I'll forgive you that; I suppose there's only so many decrepit Cubans around. :H

Oh and avocados may be full of good fat, but they're also packed with calories and this fat lad is dieting.

Murph, you can still lose weight eating the right fats. But whatever you wanna do. I get it. I know you are making progress from your own thread.

I don't think I have a new writing style. I'm like an onion, I have layers. I just think lately I've been in a funk. Maybe I was experiencing some depression. Who wouldn't with all the stuff I deal with? My girl is helping...buckets, and I also started back on wellbutrin recently. Maybe it's more than subtle with me. The men...they are all around. I don't know yet what I'll do. I do realize some are the wrong thing for me. A trigger. I had a patient today that was oohing and aahing about how pretty I was. He was 85, but whose counting? :H It still felt good. Whatever. I may actually be going on a date soon, but I'm going to wait to talk about it.

bleep;1137753 wrote: Avocado tastes like shit, and it has the texture of slime. As a food source, I find it thoroughly inedible.

Your helper sounds cool, it'll be fun coaxing her out of her shell and showing her a little of the world.

As regards your baclofen dilemma, I'm a bit stumped. You need a couple of days to yourself to just go to 200 or something silly, so that when you go back down to 130, it seems like an effortless reduction. Having kids around makes this difficult though. It's the only thing I can think of.

You'll sort it out Red.

I'm a sorting Bleepster. I am on 130mg. I went up on Friday. I seem to be doing just fine. I even worked today without any problems. This is all I can ask for. Maybe taking stress off other areas of my life, will help with my bac journey? I dunno. Just trying to quantitate it. I still don't have answers. :l

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

redhead77;1137987 wrote: He was 85, but whose counting? :H It still felt good. Whatever. I may actually be going on a date soon, but I'm going to wait to talk about it.

Whoa! OK, I mean I'm like a really open-minded sort of a bloke and everything and whatever floats your boat and all that but there appears to be a pattern emerging here and perhaps it's not the healthiest. 85 maybe just a tad on the ummm old side. :H

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Murphyx;1137992 wrote: Whoa! OK, I mean I'm like a really open-minded sort of a bloke and everything and whatever floats your boat and all that but there appears to be a pattern emerging here and perhaps it's not the healthiest. 85 maybe just a tad on the ummm old side. :H

Sometimes, old men say what younger men are too scared to say. :H They figure they have nothing to lose.

[Murphyx]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red, he's probably already lost it. Have fun trying to find it again though. Just try not to lean too hard on that colostomy bag.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Whatever Murphy. I'm not going for the old guy, I know this doesn't work. I'm going for a man that is my age. This will satisfy me. What is up with this huge flipping heart avatar? It takes up almost the whole page.