The nanny doesn't use my computer when I'm home. She's very respectful. She does use it on occasion for FB, when I'm not using it. The problem lies in the location of my computer. You can see the screen from the main room where everyone likes to hang out. This was a good plan originally. I could use the computer and still see the kids. Now, it is a problem due to privacy. I can't post here without her possibly seeing what I'm doing. I'm the one who needs the laptop.
Murph, my titration has been very slow to this point. My increasing it to 20 mg a week would be considered slow by most here too. I think it's probably hard to figure all this stuff out, because I write such long posts when I have the chance. Daily writing (or close) would be better in my case. It is hard to read through all of it, let alone make sense of it all.
I am tolerating baclofen better for one reason. One that may even alarm you. I went on Adderall. For anyone who isn't familiar with Adderall, it is a strong stimulant used to treat ADD.
Why you ask? After my son was recently diagnosed, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I went to visit my old psychiatrist, the one who treated me for depression on and off for years. He is fully aware I have this problem. We had talked in the past about me trying something, but he felt I was compensating so well, that it wasn't necessary. Why take a strong stimulant medication when you are managing without it? Even if it was more difficult for me, and I've had to structure my life in a way that works (i.e. a fast paced job), I was still managing. Also, interestingly Wellbutrin is a good AD for ADD. This is what we decided I should take because it kills two birds with one stone. Actually, it would be three birds, he knows I have/had a drinking problem too. It did help me a great deal, until I had to stop taking it for bac.
I believe, and there aren't many people admitting ADD on the meds threads, that bac may make my ADD worse. I can't function at all of the higher doses, and the spaciness and forgetfulness were not getting better with time. Most of the other SEs did go away. This may be why I have struggled so much.
The general population believes Adderall is very addictive. Per my psych, it is not very addictive. I'm certainly not taking it to get high. I'm not liking the stimulant feeling of it. So there is no perfect answer. I may even ask for a lower dose this week. But it does help me think more clearly, especially with the bac. It's shocking how much better. It may allow me to titrate up to the level of indifference and stay there. Or, somewhere close enough to maintain indifference. Right now, I'm on a 30 day trial run. There are no absolutes and I can stop taking it at any time. He even said, I don't have to take it on the days I don't have much to do. :H
I know Ritalin was mentioned on another thread and I chuckled. I already knew I was going to have to do something like this, but not just because I'm taking bac. It is because I already had the underlying problem and I believe bac is making it worse...much worse.
There you have it. As hard as it is to admit to all my issues on here, and what I'm having to do to get around them, I believe it might help someone. Maybe someone else out there is struggling with the same things, wondering if they have ADD, or knowing as much, but still trying to take bac. ADD doesn't mean one has a low IQ or is a freak (the freak thing is questionable ) As a matter of fact, it is often the opposite.
I truly believe, as I get further in my bac experience, that bac cannot be a cure all, if there are other issues that need to be addressed. In my case it may even make some things worse.
I told my psychiatrist about baclofen and taking it. This was a huge step for me. I realize he told me he would never bill for alcohol abuse, and I believe I could trust him with this. It turns out, I had a rather long appointment, because he was very interested to hear about it. I did not ask him to treat me. I told him I see Dr L, who is in our area. I'm not sure he would be comfortable in doing so at this point. I hope he researches more, or maybe I will bring him some info.
So my latest drug cocktail is this: Wellbutrin 100 mg/day (psych only wants me on low dose due to the bac, even though he couldn't find an interaction.), Adderall XR 20 mg/day, and Bac 140 mg/day. Yikes!
I'm doing damn well, though. And I really don't care what anyone thinks.
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