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    This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

    To put a new-agey spin on your question about "why death dreams" I would suggest you dream it so you don't have to live it to ask yourselves the hard questions the dreams bring to you. You get to not die, yet still grow from the experience.

    Of course, I'm sure Dr L has much better answers and its all drug related/physiology related. Way over my head.

    Speaking of unmanageably over my head things, how about chemical oscillations? A chemical reaction might develop temporary, damped oscillations. Maybe that creates death and lust dreams. You might wear stripes in real life (tiger) but have spotted dreams (leopard).



    And no, I have no idea what I'm talking about so don't ask.

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      This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

      :welcome:Eve Gatha! Of course, I (we) don't mind you jumping in. Anytime!

      To both you and Bruun. I'm sure the dreams mean something. I know the dream in which I was murdered, woke me with a start. When I woke up very unsettled, I went downstairs and it turns out my doors were unlocked. There was *maybe* a reason in this case. I'm not sure what the erotic dream meant regarding the man I work with. I could of course, ask Dr L about all of this, and just may, but I don't know how I feel about asking about my sex dreams and whatever. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he's cool. Was the book you were referring to Eve, his first book, or the second he's written? I would assume that book hasn't been published yet?

      Is, I've never had a dream about someone I've been repulsed by. I will say, the man I had the dream about is extremely arrogant, and a few other things, that are of no interest to me. This is why I'm a bit perplexed by my dream.

      On a lighter or heavier note, I guess it depends how you look at it, I have a question. I have a friend, and I've talked about him a bit on my thread. He's a physician, a resident. I don't work with him, it's a long story, but he's one of the first people I told that I was going to take bac. He didn't like it...at all. I asked him if he wanted to come and see Dr L with me (this was for my first appt), and he did, but he was leaving the country for 4-6 weeks. I went alone, and we know how it's gone since. We kind of lost touch for a while (that's how I am ), but now we're back communicating for some time (months). Mostly via text. This is what I prefer for now, again, a long story. Anyhoo, I've been telling him what I'm on with the bac, and what's been happening (he texts me every other day, if not daily). He's very worried about me taking this much bac, it could cause AMS (acute mental status changes), and who knows what the long-term effects are. If he only knew about the AMS :H. He's like why don't you try a support group? All sorts of stuff. When I asked him if he'd prescribe it, he said no! Not until there's some studies on humans (he'd done his own research since he knew I was on it.) I, of course, have shared with him what I do know about the safety. And I've reminded him, this is a disease. He's finally accepting that I'm taking bac and it's working. He seems interested in bac. He asked me today what forum I write on. He thought he should start reading it, so he can learn more. I think it's great that he wants to learn more, and any doc that spends some time here, might be more likely to prescribe to patients. Here's my problem. I don't want him to read my thread. It's very personal to me. Am I being selfish? Should I just tell him about MWO, and forget about my highly personal thread and everything I've written in it?
      This Princess Saved Herself

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        This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

        RH77,

        I don't think you're being selfish at all. I wouldn't want someone I know to read my thread. The only problem is how would you get him to not read it, or have him think that it's a different red head? I'd imagine your personality from your previous conversations with him would line up with your online personality. I suppose you could change your signature to make it seem like you're a 67 year old man living in Uzbekistan. Of course, then you'd have to go back and edit all your posts to keep up the charade, and they'd have to flow with the posts of the other people. Seems complicated.

        I'll do the sig for you: This 67 year old Uzbeki Grandfather Saved Himself
        Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
        George Santayana

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          This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

          The funniest thing is I thought, Red, your post was Pete talking so I was full of ideas for him (because I clicked on the last thread updated link and his name was on it, silly me). Luckily all ideas apply except for the name change to err .. (edit) O!Petus!

          Anyways, I have had that same issue with two people I've told about MWO, one my doctor and one my relative. As a result, I've changed things in my posts regarding my relationships but now sabatoging completely. The one thing I would say is change your location and your hair color or say you're gaining weight or SOMETHING on your most recent threads, and tell me to delete this and Petus' last post too.

          I think your thread is historic, as many of these are, and of significant therapy/supportive/friendship importance.

          In support of not worrying about "outting" yourself, think about those before and after you. If you, Red/Petey, were not succeeding, then I would worry about sharing. But you ARE succeeding, so you can no longer be called a drunk/addict and lose your livelihoods, only be praised for forging ahead in the likes of Mx, Ne, bleep, etc. Be loud, be proud. Do not wait to be asked. Do not subscribe to Don't Ask, Don't Tell. You're doing great so far and all you should do is ask those you share these intimacies /threads/ MWO ideas with - is do not attribute credit to you without permission, and DO give permission when success is found. You should not be lost in the success like poor Gilligan and his island friends did. And so many others ...

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            This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

            I've spent the last 48 hours almost completely devoid of MWO! The relevance is that I'm going to jump right on in with both feet and have no idea where I saw what post. Fair warning!
            Pete-Write! Nerdishness--I don't even think I'm a cool nerd. I'm a Patrick whats-his-name rather than William Shatner. Or Shatner (omg, what a name) before he was cool again...

            Red and co. I thought I had a crush on my anatomy professor. Then I had a dream about him. A romantic dream. egad. Now I can barely look at him without noticing the hairy nostrils, the lame jokes, the efforts to be cool.

            My sig start with:

            23 year old.....Saved Herself.
            Hope it's a good Monday for everybody!

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              This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

              Thanks for your responses. I've given it some thought too. I'm not going to tell him. He can read about bac, as much or as little as he chooses, and he doesn't need me to assist him. The man does know how to read. Even research. And might I add, it doesn't take a genius to find MWO. When I was searching for drugs that might help or cure addiction, and I started thinking bac, I found MWO quickly. It took me all of 5 minutes, maybe? :H There aren't many forums that discuss bac in such depth.

              I'm not going to change things in my thread to try to disguise who I am.
              My username alone is a big clue, not to mention as you indicated Bruun, I am pretty much the same here as in the real world. Maybe a little darker here, :H or I'm able to express it better. If he finds my thread, he'll figure it out in no time. I'm kind of hoping he doesn't care that much...for a few reasons. Maybe that doesn't make sense. What I mean is, I'm hoping he has a true interest in bac, and wouldn't want to come here to read what I write. The thought makes me feel uncomfortable.

              For anyone who's been patiently waiting for my claim of indifference, you haven't gotten it, because I've decided to go up. I went up by 10mg. I know it sounds measly, but this is how much I titrate up. Since I've gotten fairly well-adjusted to increases and the SEs, I've decided I
              need to keep going. This was only yesterday, so we shall see. I'm very close, I'm sure of it. This 10mg may be exactly it. I've noticed with other titrations, that I may have a period of time where I almost seem indifferent. I then have craving return. This time was the longest, and I haven't had many cravings, but I have had some it seems. I'm not sure if I should be in search of the time of absolutely zero (it seems I felt that way for 10 days, and some after, so I'm thinking it's possible?), or if I should be aware there will be some cravings and use other tools to deal with it. My friend, which I've been very honest about how much I'm drinking these days, feels that my drinking is very stable. And it is! I believe there's a place where I will no longer want to drink, even moderately. I've felt it before. So, I'm going to give this increase a go, and see where it lands me.

              Again, and as always, thanks you my friends for being here. :l

              Redhead
              This Princess Saved Herself

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                This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                So Red, did you go up and how are you faring? Hope it's working its magic! :h

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                  This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                  hullo?

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                    This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                    Hey guys, thanks for checking in. I'm not holding out on you, I swear. I'll post whatever progress I've made when I can.
                    This Princess Saved Herself

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                      This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                      Maybe I should have said Hey gals in this case. I'm not sure. I'm on so much baclofen (240mg), it's hard to write a sentence. I mean, I know others have gone higher, but I'm just saying.
                      This Princess Saved Herself

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                        This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                        wow, red. that's a lot of bac! you're not having se's? hope you reach the indifference you seek, soon.

                        once i showed a post of mine to my sis and she said NIL. it was pretty uncomfortable for me, so i won't repeat that experience. i hope when/if your friend finds your thread that he is very cool about it (but not cool like my sis).

                        would you let us know anything about ams that you find out? i'm pretty concerned about it. i wonder what all this bac is doing to my brain. sometimes -as expressed at length on my thread- i think i'm wackadoodle. but most times i'm elated that i'm not a drunk anymore, so for now it's worth every 20 mg!

                        xo ru

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                          This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                          OMg, Red. 2 more posts and you're a senior member. I'll notify the AARP, and make reservations at Old Country Buffet.
                          Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                          George Santayana

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                            This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                            Oh, and that's how the iPhone autocorrects "omg." I think Steve Jobs was an atheist.
                            Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                            George Santayana

                            Comment


                              This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                              SlipperyPete;1198038 wrote: OMg, Red.
                              It's oooohhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm. God.

                              Yeah, HDB... sorry Red. How are you? You can just type words. Even just emotis... :H

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                                This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

                                That's an enormous number for you, Red. I'm not surprised you can barely write. Stay strong.:l
                                "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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