my sweet, sweet switch

[Bruunhilde]

my sweet, sweet switch

Hey Rusty,
Let me know if you come up with something good. I've done some volunteering but find it difficult to find something that actually helps both parties, meaning me too. I did pet shelter volunteering, fostering kittens (alone at home) and going in and helping at the shelter with the dogs and adoption events (mostly alone there too). I have done the 'buy groceries for elderly neighbors weekly', that's lonely too. I've spent time with shut-ins, and ... that's lonely too. Meals on Wheels, same thing. The only thing I think would be less lonely is soup kitchen type stuff, but I don't really want to drive 90 miles round trip to the closest soup kitchen around.

I just don't know. And I'm not in any kind of good physical shape to do Habitat for Humanity, although that does interest me. Maybe after I'm moderating for a while and able to get stronger... except I'm a klutz and would likely nail my own hand to the house.
:crap:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

my sweet, sweet switch

I was seriously missing you, Sere. I figured that was what was going on.

I just don't get why you would think you shouldn't share the burden with us? I know it feels ridiculous being tied to the computer, but we're here. We're going through, or looking to go through, (! YAY!) the same thing. You know?

Lots of empty space on the other side when opting out isn't an option. And sister, I've got fancy tv, with all the bells and whistles. Can't stand it. (Except Modern Family, which cracks me up.) Can't really read yet either. Or don't want to. Still reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest.

I keep returning to OA and Tom Venuto. Neither of which does anything atm but make my mind spin. Ditto the food thing. (I kept wondering why I was so damn hungry at night. I was worried, because I was eating, eating, eating. Then I realized that is what sober people do! They eat their calories in the evenings. Who knew? :H)

Sorry I haven't kept up. I was seriously missing you. Please don't do that again. (For a minute I thought that you didn't want to be my doppelganger anymore. Then I remembered that it is not always ALL about me. Again, who knew???)
How's the new j.o.b by the way?
K

[_serenity_]

my sweet, sweet switch

Hi all!

I'm short on time (have to call my dad, which I sort of dread) but I wanted to give you all a shout-out:

bleep, thanks! I'm trying to figure it all out, and trying not to get myself into a deep slump.

Bruun and Rusty, thank you so much for your input. We definitely share the same problems. I have too much time on my hands, too little to do. I don't have much energy for reading, so I surf the net or watch TV. Both of which have me bored to tears. I do feel your pain, and I'll definitely let you know if/when I find better outlets!

Neva, thank you so much. I do have the tendency to withdraw instead of reaching out for help. It definitely has nothing to do with anyone on the forum, it's just a (very bad) old coping mechanism. I eat all the time too. I've been craving candy like whoa...very specific types of candy, at that. Who the fuck craves sour cherry balls? I don't think I've ever bought them or craved them before, but lately I've found myself driving to the store on a mission for those things. Positive it's my body seeking a substitute for the AL. But it certainly doesn't help with my mood (or my weight, for that matter).

The job is busy busy busy, often very stressful, but nothing I can't handle. I'm glad to have the income! (And CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW JOB, by the way! :goodjob

I promise to reach out more. At least with sobriety I can't really hide in my isolation as much...I am acutely aware of what it's doing to me. There are so many things I need to work on now that the AL is out of the picture. And is it ever "out." It isn't even a consideration anymore. So strange!

[_serenity_]

my sweet, sweet switch

Hello all! I haven't updated this thread in a while, mostly because I haven't had a whole lot to report.

TODAY I HAVE FOUR WEEKS OF COMPLETE, EFFORTLESS SOBRIETY THANKS TO BAC! I can't believe how easy this has been for me. I still have two beers sitting in my fridge, and I never even consider them. When I see them, I just think "yuck" and move on to the food or tea that's sitting in there.

I don't think I'm still depressed, but I do feel a sense of loneliness in the evenings. What's different about sobriety is that it motivates me to do more stuff with my evenings. I used to hold that time *sacred* because I needed that time alone to nurse my AL. Now I'm clear-eyed and wildly aware of being alone. However, the spring weather is beckoning! Today I ran three miles with one dog, came home, switched dogs, and walked my other (lazy) dog around the neighborhood. I'm re-joining Crossfit tomorrow night, and also going to try to lose about 15 or so pesky pounds that have been nagging at me for too long.

I see a huge future in store for me. I already got my new tattoo, one that symbolizes "new beginnings." I've lost my chronic anxiety and my alcoholism, & started the first professional job that I've had in years. That's just a start for this year! I also plan on losing the aforementioned poundage, getting in shape, taking my dogs to obedience classes, stopping smoking (I only smoke @10 or so cigs a day, but it sucks)...I'm also planning my first trip abroad in 5 years. I used to be a chronic traveler, but the last few years have destroyed my finances and life to the extent that my journeys have been put on hold. Not anymore!

This summer I do want to rejoin society, so to speak. I will be going back to bars and barbecues and the like, if only for brief periods. The AL doesn't threaten me anymore. I don't even consider it. I'm going to my first concert in YEARS this week (lady gaga, don't hate) with a friend. Looking forward to being a silly 42 year old girly girl.

I was speaking with Dr. L once a week or so for psychotherapy, but it sort of fizzled out on its own. I really don't feel the need to go to therapy. Most of my old problems can be worked out on their own; I just need time.

I never thought I'd be able to escape AL's allure. Ever. Bac has been such a miracle for me. I not only got away from the AL, I got away from it in such a clear-cut way, and so effortlessly! It's absolutely unbelievable.

Huge hugs to you all! I haven't been posting as much lately, and I steer clear of drama, but I have been following everyone's progress with interest. :l :h

[redhead77]

my sweet, sweet switch

Holy cow Serenity. You are really doing tons. Talk about flourishing. I'm not a hater. Lady Gaga will be an interesting show for sure. Even if you don't care for her music, she is an art form. I don't blame you for steering clear of the drama, and there is a lot of it. Thanks for updating us. You go girl! Hey, are you going to come to the meet in greet, in the Chi in October?

[Bruunhilde]

my sweet, sweet switch

Serenity, I've been wondering how you were, it's just so busy here I can't keep up with everyone's threads. It's a second job, but the job I enjoy most. I am proud of you, you have a great attitude, are you on any supplements to bolster that? I can't recall if you're a supp-junkie like some of us. I'd like to see Gaga just for the show of her. I hated that meat dress, thought it was a waste of precious life. talk about wearing something only once, I think she should be made to wear it again, with nothing underneath, a year from now. HA.

Have fun at the concert and good for you getting out. I got out to the grocery tonight.

[_serenity_]

my sweet, sweet switch

Hey Bruun! Thank you so much!

Re: supplements, I take a lot of piracetam. I need to stock back up on l-glut as well, since my candy cravings are OUT OF CONTROL. I sometimes get completely overtaken by sugar cravings, very similar to my old AL cravings; it's like a powerful force is making me drive to the grocery store for a bag of jelly beans, which get inhaled by the bagful. When I remember, I will also take a multivitamin and fish oil capsules. I have 7 Weeks to Sobriety, but damn if that supplement list doesn't get looooong and expensive!

[LadyLush]

my sweet, sweet switch

Serene,

So VERY good to hear from you! You have been an inspiration for Red and I.
or me??? Where is Bleep?

Thanks from the bottom of my heart!


Lady

[_serenity_]

my sweet, sweet switch

Lady--

Thank you so much! :h And you're welcome! You have such a great attitude about the Bac. I think that having a positive attitude about it really makes the ride that much easier. How long have you been on it now? And how much are you taking at this point? I can't wait to read about your own switch--can't be long! :l

[gratitude]

my sweet, sweet switch

serenity,
so happy you are now kickin' ass. maybe you should take up skydiving? it's a rush. maybe it would get replace those candy cravings. hahaha.
seriously, the cravings will go away at some point as your body and mind adjust. I've read some studies that said running 4 times a week alters the brain in the same way as antidepressants. so you've got a good start there.
I ended up working the night shifts so I could have my days free for skiing or training on the bike. did some races this last summer. yeeehaw. andi only have to worry about two nights a week. I live in a small ski town. not much to do at night besides go to the bars or the one gym in town. summers are unbelievable though.
anyway, just wanted to say hello. man, it really does get better and better. but it does. seem like more work sometimes. be well. gratitude.
p.s. what part of the country do you live in? maybe I can give you some ideas. stay positive.

[Bruunhilde]

my sweet, sweet switch

Ser, you know the MWO protocol was in part due to the author's wish to dumb down those supplements, which is why she researched and determined (and I think has since customized) ALL-ONE to be the vitamin-amino regimen in place of all that stuff in Seven Weeks, in Depression Free, in Diet Cure, in Mood Cure, and every other great book trying to help our asses?

Check out the holistic thread. If nothing else try taking the ALL-ONE or something similar (its hard to compare all that labeling tho) and the rest, it's not that hard, vs the books hourly protocol which really needs a lab rat not working to deal with the dosing regimen.

[Murphyx]

my sweet, sweet switch

Fantastic Serenity! I nominate you as the baclofen poster child.

[TracyA]

my sweet, sweet switch

_serenity_;1077977 wrote:
I never thought I'd be able to escape AL's allure. Ever. Bac has been such a miracle for me. I not only got away from the AL, I got away from it in such a clear-cut way, and so effortlessly! It's absolutely unbelievable.

Wow, that's just extraordinary. I get that is what bac is supposed to do, but it still seems in the realm of "miracle." Congrats on all the wonderful changes in your life.

[bleep]

my sweet, sweet switch

Serenity, I love reading your updates. Congratulations again.

[_serenity_]

my sweet, sweet switch

gratitude;1078010 wrote: serenity,
so happy you are now kickin' ass. maybe you should take up skydiving? it's a rush. maybe it would get replace those candy cravings. hahaha.
seriously, the cravings will go away at some point as your body and mind adjust. I've read some studies that said running 4 times a week alters the brain in the same way as antidepressants. so you've got a good start there.
I ended up working the night shifts so I could have my days free for skiing or training on the bike. did some races this last summer. yeeehaw. andi only have to worry about two nights a week. I live in a small ski town. not much to do at night besides go to the bars or the one gym in town. summers are unbelievable though.
anyway, just wanted to say hello. man, it really does get better and better. but it does. seem like more work sometimes. be well. gratitude.
p.s. what part of the country do you live in? maybe I can give you some ideas. stay positive.
Thank you, gratitude!

Funny you mentioned skydiving. I've been pricing it in the last couple of weeks & plan on doing it this summer. It's always been on my bucket list.

I appreciate your thoughts so much. I'm pretty much smack dab in the middle of the country, in the Midwest. :l

Bruunhilde;1078017 wrote: Ser, you know the MWO protocol was in part due to the author's wish to dumb down those supplements, which is why she researched and determined (and I think has since customized) ALL-ONE to be the vitamin-amino regimen in place of all that stuff in Seven Weeks, in Depression Free, in Diet Cure, in Mood Cure, and every other great book trying to help our asses?

Check out the holistic thread. If nothing else try taking the ALL-ONE or something similar (its hard to compare all that labeling tho) and the rest, it's not that hard, vs the books hourly protocol which really needs a lab rat not working to deal with the dosing regimen.

I didn't know that, Bruun! Goes to show how much I pay to the rest of the site, haha. I came here because of Baclofen and have pretty much stuck with the Bac stuff because of that. I think I'll order the All-in-One and see if that helps at all. I need to get off the sugar ASAP! (I've also got copies of The Diet Cure and The Mood Cure, lol)

Murphyx;1078114 wrote: Fantastic Serenity! I nominate you as the baclofen poster child.

Thanks, Murph! Sounds like you're doing quite well yourself, so don't sell yourself short!

I don't think I'm a poster child for anything, just someone with a low threshold for boredom and loneliness. I HAVE to find a way out of it or I'll just sink into a slump, you know?

TracyA;1078353 wrote: Wow, that's just extraordinary. I get that is what bac is supposed to do, but it still seems in the realm of "miracle." Congrats on all the wonderful changes in your life.

Thanks Tracy! I can't help but see Bac as a miracle. I'm convinced that it saved my life. My liver couldn't have taken much more abuse. I should have died in 2007, and for some reason I'm still here. And not an alcoholic anymore. It's a freaking miracle, and an unbelievable blessing.

I know you'll find your switch as well; you're smart, determined, and focused. I can't wait to read about your success with Bac! :l

bleep;1078470 wrote: Serenity, I love reading your updates. Congratulations again.

Thank you so very much, bleep! Your switch was so inspiring for me; it really kept me going!

I appreciate all of your comments more than I can say. :h