Bill G's baclofen journal

[coalfire]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Ok so I have deleted my response to it.

[TracyA]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Okay, I deleted my turd head posts too.

I don't want you go anywhere either, Bill. Being here is too important for us all.

[tiptronic_ct]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Oh good. We're playing nice.

:goodjob:

:l:l:l

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Update and new drug

It's been an interesting weekend so far. I felt like absolute shit last night. I always feel like that on Fridays. I get this feeling of excitement, butterflies in my stomach and all, because the work week is over and it's time to have fun. Then at some point I remember that my life is a complete void. You'd think that after years and years of this, that my body would stop associating weekends with fun, but I guess not. It's hard to remember why I'm trying to get sober when I'm faced with that reality. Anyway...I didn't start drinking until 9, and I only had about 5. My usual on Fridays was at least 12. There were weeks where I prayed (figuratively) that I would be able to keep in under 10. So, progress!

Now, the important question. I got a few blister packs of a sedative/hypnotic/anxiolytic whose name is spelled Echo Tango India Zulu Oscar Lima Alpha Mike (I don't want searches for this drug to lead to this thread, so I'm not writing the name here). It's not a controlled substance in the States. Look it up. I figure if I'm doing the bac thing without a doctor, I might as well take care of any sleep or anxiety problems I have on my own too. Has anyone ever taken this drug? It's supposed to be like a benzo. Any idea about interactions with bac? I might be the guinea pig for this one. I plan to take a half milligram tonight before bed.

Also, that smell thing is blowing my mind. How can any drug actually increase one's olfactory sense? I went for a walk in the park and I was smelling people's deodorant from 30 feet away. I could smell lit cigarettes hundreds of feet away downwind. I could smell a charcoal grill, but there was no one grilling for at least a couple hundred yards in any direction. I checked. It must have some pretty profound effects on certain areas of the brain in order to do that.

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Just re-read my post, and I need to add two things. First, I'm aiming for 237.5 mg today, and I plan on 250 on Sunday. It's getting hard to hit my targets because of forgetting what I've taken, and the fact that I'm trying to take one in the middle of the night when I inevitably wake up. Second, I was standing downwind of the cigarettes, they weren't downwind of me. I'm not crazy. At least I don't think so.

[TracyA]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Hi Bill, regarding the med., I don't know. I know people here have been prescribed Xanax to help with the part of it that you are in (high dose/lack of sleep). But, AFAIK, they are supposed to wait until they are post-switch. Apparently, post-switch, there is little risk of abusing it. I doubt you are quite at switch if you had five beers, but CONGRATS on the progress.

I'm not great at retaining information at the moment, but after quickly looking it up: In some ways the med you are talking about is less safe then benzos, but because it has a short half-life, it doesn't leave people feeling groggy either. I don't know what to say. I realize you are probably pretty desperate for rest and relief from anxiety given the dose you are on. It is a drug that people party on, but so is Xanax. I'm sure someone else with more knowledge (and a sharper mind) will chime in.

Hang tough, Bill. I think are likely within spitting distance of your switch.

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Okay, I'm actually quite sleepy now, so I'm going to wait until I'm completely AF before I take any of said drug, and then only if I need it. Mainly, my sleep problem is waking up a couple hours after I fall asleep and not getting back to sleep. Maybe if I just try to remember to take my last pill as soon as I wake up in the middle of the night, I'll be able to sleep better.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Bill Gorton;1075428 wrote: Okay, I'm actually quite sleepy now, so I'm going to wait until I'm completely AF before I take any of said drug, and then only if I need it. Mainly, my sleep problem is waking up a couple hours after I fall asleep and not getting back to sleep. Maybe if I just try to remember to take my last pill as soon as I wake up in the middle of the night, I'll be able to sleep better.

Excellent choice, imho. I found that it was difficult to stay in bed and quiet my mind when the sleep disturbances first started. Now I, and others, rather enjoy it. But I ALWAYS stay in bed. When I don't I really regret it. Sleep returns, naturally and quickly when I do this. I was doing it pre-switch and while drinking.

Speaking of, congratulations on the decreased use of AL. It's definitely a precursor to finding indifference.
There is at least one (Birdie) who tied one on the night before she had a profound switch, but it was hell on her. I prefer the slow and steady method, thank you!

Also good thought to not spell stuff out if you don't want it found on google. (I hope there's not a real Bill Gorton out there somewhere! :H Or if he is, that you dislike him! ha!)

I'm very sorry for the void. That is a rather large obstacle, imho, in this journey. And common among the many of us that isolated. I hope you can find a solution. It was a HUGE help to me to come here and to rely on friends, and the mwo community. It filled the void. Maybe it will help you?
Either way, I'm glad you're chronicling. It's a benefit to all of us, trust me.

Best to you.
:ls
Ne

[redhead77]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Hi Bill,

I've been meaning to post here, but considering my own indisrections, I haven't. I want to tell you I have the same crazy smell thing. I smell everything. I posted this earlier, and many don't feel like this. I'll tell you I spray perfume on myself, so I can smell it. I've stopped being immune to my own perfume.

Other things, I know about the Friday nights. I have an aching need to do something that is most likely over indulging. I ache every Friday. I don't know why, but I am sure bac won't quench that exact feeling. It's most likely conditioning. I'm conditioned to drink on the weekends. As are you.

Hang in there Bill. You are not alone. Some of us, feel the exact same things, whether bac induced or alkie induced. xxoo.

Redhead

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Oh my. The smell thing? It's lovely in some ways. Onions are a bit onerous, but lemons are lovely.

My Saturdays are when I get the Pavlov's Dogs response to drinking.

Glad that there are others who feel the same way.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Maybe all things sensory? Taste, sound, touch, smell what's the last one???
Oh! the sight. It's definitely affected my eyesight even though I poo-pooed it when Murphy brought it up on his thread. Definitely affected my vision profoundly in the beginning.

wth? and wow.

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

redhead77;1076031 wrote: Hi Bill,

I've been meaning to post here, but considering my own indisrections, I haven't. I want to tell you I have the same crazy smell thing. I smell everything. I posted this earlier, and many don't feel like this. I'll tell you I spray perfume on myself, so I can smell it. I've stopped being immune to my own perfume.

Other things, I know about the Friday nights. I have an aching need to do something that is most likely over indulging. I ache every Friday. I don't know why, but I am sure bac won't quench that exact feeling. It's most likely conditioning. I'm conditioned to drink on the weekends. As are you.

Hang in there Bill. You are not alone. Some of us, feel the exact same things, whether bac induced or alkie induced. xxoo.

Redhead

About weekends. It's not so much a desire to drink. It's a desire to socialize, have fun, let loose, have sex--you know, the things normal young(ish) people want to do on the weekend. I couldn't do any of those things for many years due to crippling social anxiety. I didn't isolate because of alcohol; I was already doing it for several years before I turned 21. Since then, I've found that drinking heavily on weekends makes me not care that I have no social life. A typical Friday where I try not to drink usually involves 1) sobbing uncontrollably, 2) staring blankly for a half hour or so, 3) try to read MWO forums or some other distraction for a few minutes, 4) return to step 1 and repeat until I give in and start chugging booze. After a few drinks, I can't even remember what I was so upset about. God, this paragraph (and almost every post I make on MWO) makes me sound like a total wet blanket.

Now an update. I'm still at 250 mg/day. I think maybe I should stay here for a while. Last night was my first AF day in over a year, and I'm pretty sure I won't drink tonight. Before you congratulate me, I have been taking 1 mg of the benzo-like drug I mentioned earlier for the past few nights. That stuff knocks me out. I feel a little groggy in the morning, but once I wake up, I feel okay. Anyway, I don't want to get my hopes up because you know what tomorrow is.

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Ne/Neva Eva;1075957 wrote:
Also good thought to not spell stuff out if you don't want it found on google. (I hope there's not a real Bill Gorton out there somewhere! :H Or if he is, that you dislike him! ha!

I'm sure there is at least one real Bill Gorton out there, but I took the name of a minor, rather forgettable character from a book I liked. I'm not very literary, but I kind of like Hemingway.

By the way, I wouldn't say I've hit my switch yet. I've got a fridge full of beer, and the idea of chugging a couple of those before bed sounds pretty good. I just think I've got enough sedatives in me right now.

[TracyA]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Heck, Bill, it starts with one AF night! I won't say the "c" word:H, but it sounds like you are on your way. Yippee! :l

[redhead77]

Bill G's baclofen journal

I agree with Tracy regarding the one AF night. We all have a first. You don't sound like a wet blanket, but maybe a little depressed? Maybe situational depression with how hard all this crap is.

I know about that feeling and I am not young enough to act on it. Although, last weekend I did. I am not sure if you should stay on your same dose or not. I would think if you were experiencing changes then maybe stay the course for a few days. Maybe, someone with more experience can chime in here.