Bill G's baclofen journal

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

First Friday AF in a loooooong time. Maybe seven or eight years. No tears either. Still took a sleeping pill around 1 am. I took between 275 and 300 mg of bac.

I'm thinking of taking a vacation overseas in a couple months. As I see it I have four options:

1. Tell my doctor baclofen has helped and see if she will prescribe. I'm almost positive she won't, not even a low dose. She didn't even want to prescribe naltrexone.
2. Titrate down to zero on baclofen, and try to get a legitimate prescription for a benzo. It's likely she won't prescribe these either given my history.
3. Titrate down to zero, and try to get by on willpower. I have a lot of anxiety about flying as it is, and combined with travel across an ocean to a foreign country, I'm worried about panic attacks.
4. Skip the vacation.

I don't see trying to travel with bac without a prescription as an option, because if they confiscate it while I'm at this dose, I'm screwed. I could die. Also, where I'm traveling alcohol is somewhat scarce, so even though alcohol is my last choice, I can't even count on that being available. I really want to go on this trip. I'm leaning toward option 2, and if that fails, 3. Any thoughts?

[coalfire]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Maybe you could print out something about the dangers of Baclofen withdrawal and have it ready for customs. Tell them that they will be responsible for your death if they take your drugs. I would say that the average customs officer would be too scared to touch it. They wouldnt risk the possible comeback if they were responsible for a customer having a seizure in their airport. Maybe have a medi alert bracelet on. "Drama" it up.

[RedThread12]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Hey, Bill Gorton: Where are you going? I live in the U.S. I've traveled all around this country, to India and to Mexico during the 17 months I've been taking baclofen. I carry a substantial stash in my carry-on, in case anything happens to my luggage, and whatever I need in my luggage. I've been gone for as long as 6 weeks at a time when I was taking a lot of baclofen every day.

I've never had anyone look at or ask me anything about the baclofen I was carrying. Not once. In any country. And most of that time I had no prescription, so the pills were in bottles marked "tylenol," or "senokot," or whatever empty bottles I had at the time.

I do understand your concern. I hope that anyone who has traveled with baclofen and had a problem posts about it. To date, (since Oct. '09) I've never read a post about anyone having any problems.

Just my experience.

[Cinders]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Happy Birthday, DG!!

Love,
Cindi

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

RT, thanks for your post. I'd rather not say where I'm planning to go, because I don't want to be too recognizable to anyone who knows me. To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll be going after all. I do admire your zen-like calm in taking bac through customs.

Okay. Until a few minutes ago, I thought I was about to have a panic attack. It's been building all day. I started writing up this long post about how I was freaking out, how I felt paranoid and out of control, and how I didn't trust myself. But now that I'm calmer, it looked like something someone else wrote. I am feeling very unstable today. I'm feeling like I really want a drink, and I don't know why I haven't poured one yet. I thought the point of baclofen was that you weren't always teetering on the edge like that.

What is wrong with me? Bi-polar? Schizophrenia? Panic disorder? Hypochondria?

What's the worst that could happen if I tell my doctor about my self-medicating with bac? Could she refuse to treat me? There are only so many doctors in my network, and I have to pay something like 50% of the consultation fee for docs outside the network. If this panic thing keeps happening, I'm going to need some kind of professional help.

[RedThread12]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Bill, buddy: You are completely anonymous. You could tell me that you're arriving at the airport where I live and I would be totally unable to identify you. Really. Fact.

How much bac are you taking? Are you regular with your dosage? Did you have these kinds of symptoms before taking bac?

Let's get those frontal lobes online and figure out what you really need to do. Just now.

Do you have enough bac for a week? If so, then you have plenty of time to talk to your doc if you need to. Or order some more, or PM me your address and I'll send you some.

There are always options. Ups and downs are always a part of it. The panic is just your mind on over-drive, trying to convince you that something bad is going to happen. Don't believe it. If yours is anything like mine, it's pretty unreliable. Especially when it comes to figuring out what's going to happen tomorrow. Or in a few days. Or any time but right now.

Are you okay right now? If not, what do you need in this moment?

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

RedThread12;1080915 wrote: Bill, buddy: You are completely anonymous. You could tell me that you're arriving at the airport where I live and I would be totally unable to identify you. Really. Fact.

How much bac are you taking? Are you regular with your dosage? Did you have these kinds of symptoms before taking bac?

Let's get those frontal lobes online and figure out what you really need to do. Just now.

Do you have enough bac for a week? If so, then you have plenty of time to talk to your doc if you need to. Or order some more, or PM me your address and I'll send you some.

There are always options. Ups and downs are always a part of it. The panic is just your mind on over-drive, trying to convince you that something bad is going to happen. Don't believe it. If yours is anything like mine, it's pretty unreliable. Especially when it comes to figuring out what's going to happen tomorrow. Or in a few days. Or any time but right now.

Are you okay right now? If not, what do you need in this moment?

I told some people where I was planning to go, so if they read this forum, they would easily be able to identify me. I just ready that a coalition involving the US was involved in an attack in a neighboring country, so maybe going there isn't such a good idea right now.

I'm doing fine right now. I have about 900 x 25mg baclofen on hand right now, so I'm in pretty good shape there. I'm not really sure why I wanted to tell my doc about baclofen, other than wanting to have a prescription bottle with my name on it. I just took 1.5 mg of e-t-i-[ignore this]z-o-l-a-m a half hour ago. (I still don't want search engines to link that drug to this forum. It's the bees knees among benzo-seekers because of it's short half-life and that it's not scheduled in many countries.) I already feel very foggy. I also had two drinks. I can't risk a panic attack. I better finish this post because my head is swimming.

I think I was going to say more, but I can't remember it right now.

[RedThread12]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Good to hear you're doing fine right now. And now, too, I hope.

Sounds as if you may be in a part of the world where travel has risks, baclofen or no. I'm a total believer in doing whatever it takes, including mixing meds (modestly) and adding a drink or two, so good-on-ya for figuring out what you needed. Sleep is always a good thing

Keep us posted. We're pulling for you!!!

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

I wanted to update now that I'm in a better state of mind today. I slept eight hours last night. I still don't know what happened yesterday. I don't think it was a reaction to bac. I have had a couple panic attacks when I was younger before I started to drink. I also suspected that I might be bipolar. When I started drinking daily at 21, that all went away. I do wonder if the alcohol might have been masking an underlying disorder. Or maybe it was just a delayed effect of quitting drinking. I'll just have to wait and see.

I'm feeling like I want to get back on the AF train. As far as the travel goes, it makes absolutely no sense for me to try to travel so far in my current condition. But I might do it anyway. Right now, I'm about to go to the gym for the first time in many months. Thanks, RT, for your input.

[GettingSerious]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Bill,

Seems to me like it is HIGHLY unlikely your pills would get confiscated if you put them in an old prescription bottle or an OTC medication bottle even if they DO go through the carry-on x-ray machine. Honestly, that's just about the most common thing other than jammies and toothbrushes they could see, right? But, maybe you're not comfortable with that, so....

I don't want to reveal my total disrespect for authority here, but my SO and I are always sneaking stuff through airport security. You may be too high anxiety for this, but here are my suggestions.

If you are certain you can get into an x-ray line (as opposed to a body scanner) you're golden. Remember the shoe bomber and the diaper bomber? It's sad but true - anything plastic instead of metal won't trigger it at all. You'll have the largest volume of pills on you at the start of your trip. You're also a guy, so you'll probably have looser fitting jeans/pants. Fill a plastic ziplock baggie with your pills and tuck it into the back waistband of your pants. Wear your shirt untucked. Unless you're wearing a super tight shirt, you should be all right. My SO and I routinely do this with a plastic bottle of Smirnoff without a problem - hey, that's why I'm here. If you have big pockets (think cargo shorts or pants) you can just put it in one of those. You can look online to see if the airports you will be visiting have body scanning technology and plan accordingly.

You can also opt for a pat-down and refuse to go through a body scanner - I do - although I probably wouldn't with a bottle of Smirnoff or bag of pills in my waistband. In that case, you could probably just put enough pills to titrate you down in a couple of plastic mints containers or two and keep them in your pocket. From what I recall, they do not make you empty your pockets when they pat you down. As long as you do not have an unsightly bulge there won't be an issue. The "mints" will not be examined and will not be put through an x-ray, if that's your concern. In the unlikely event that your main stash gets taken, you'll have enough to titrate you down.

Again, I think it's highly unlikely you'd have a problem. I've never seen anyone opening pill bottles at the airport. I sure as heck haven't seen anyone confiscating mints. I also suspect that if you're that worried, you may be too anxious to try the above. But just in case, wanted to share my wisdom.

[TracyA]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Bill, I'm kinda hoping you don't go. It sounds like there's good reasons not to go right now (not the airport security stuff, the other stuff).

Hang in there. We're with you.

[beatle]

Bill G's baclofen journal

I have to answer this quickly so no quotes things... too time-consuming.

Red thread writes "I've traveled all around this country, to India and to Mexico during the 17 months I've been taking baclofen. I carry a substantial stash in my carry-on, in case anything happens to my luggage, and whatever I need in my luggage. I've been gone for as long as 6 weeks at a time when I was taking a lot of baclofen every day.

I've never had anyone look at or ask me anything about the baclofen I was carrying. Not once. In any country."

I have had exactly the same experience. And my trips include Egypt and Asian countries, as well, plus several European countries. And I never even tried to conceal it in other pill bottles, although this sounds like a good idea.

Still, that doesn't mean you shouldn't worry at all. There's always a first. Plus, I understand you have put off the trip, which sounds like a good decision, but I want this to be on the record for anyone else worrying to extremes about this.

I like gettingserious's creative approach, but I don't think it is necessary for the bac (maybe for the vodka, though? -- why not pack a few small plastic shampoo bottles under 100ml and put them in your plastic bag along with your toothpaste and other innocent liquids?) And I can't see how a patdown would not discover the flask of vodka.

[beatle]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Bill Gorton;1080904 wrote:

What is wrong with me? Bi-polar? Schizophrenia? Panic disorder? Hypochondria?
I'm thinking what is "wrong" with you could probably be any of those (although schizophrenia?) or a combination. Bi-polar and Panic disorder are in my experience associated with alcohol abuse (for self medication). I definitely had panic disorder severely and have been told I am a bi-polar, without being officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Baclofen can be another way of self-medicating for these conditions, but not necs



Bill Gorton;1080904 wrote: What's the worst that could happen if I tell my doctor about my self-medicating with bac? Could she refuse to treat me? There are only so many doctors in my network, and I have to pay something like 50% of the consultation fee for docs outside the network. If this panic thing keeps happening, I'm going to need some kind of professional help.

I believe you need professional help asap. Is there any way you can get to see a psychdoctor? Even if it costs, it sounds like you can't afford not to go to professional help.

I told my psychdoctor that I was medicating myself with stuff bought from overseas and I would continue to do so if she would not give me a prescription. She prescribed up to 100mg/day, and I just had to supplement after that. She also prescribed for my bi-polar, but that stuff didn't work out. Maybe it will for you, though.

[Cinders]

Bill G's baclofen journal

Beatle,

May I ask what you were prescribed for bipolar that didn't work?

I am on Seroquel prn for the manic and anxiety periods and it does seem to help, although I have to cut the pills in half or I fall asleep on them.

Cindi

[Bill Gorton]

Bill G's baclofen journal

seeking help

I made an appointment with my doc today for tomorrow afternoon. As the reason, I gave "insomnia". I'm going to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor, whichever she thinks is appropriate. I'm going to tell her about the panic/anxiety last Saturday and today (more on that later), my recent drinking (she knows about my history), and about the mail-order sleeping pills. I thought about calling yesterday, but I chickened out.

I wasn't planning on telling her about the baclofen I've been taking. I was planning to mention reading about baclofen, and request that she consider prescribing after she had researched it, of course. That would give me my legal prescription.

Now...I don't know. At work today, my boss sat and talked to me for over half an hour in my office. Nothing special, just normal supervisor/subordinate chit chat. Or was it? I was half convinced he was there to assess whether I was on drugs. Someone else came and talked to me and I was half convinced he had the same motives. I felt paranoid, like I'd smoked a J in the parking lot before work. For the first few weeks after I started baclofen, it wasn't like this. I was definitely a little loopy. But, hell, there were days I came in so hung over I spent the whole day staring at a spreadsheet pretending to do work, and making the occasional trip to the bathroom to vomit. Being a little loopy shouldn't stand out.

It seems to me that my voice is lower and my face is saggier because of the muscle relaxation effects. I might be speaking slower, though I don't seem to have any trouble enunciating. I have this sneaking suspicion that I've been behaving erratically, and that's obvious to those around me, but I don't know it. It also seems obvious to me that I am very paranoid at times. I don't know how much of this is in my head and how much is real.

When I was almost home today, I started feeling something strange. A tension in my neck and back, and a tingling in my face and head. My hands felt a little shaky. Was I about to have a seizure? That really shook me, so I came home and had a few drinks and took 1 mg of my sleeping meds. I hadn't had a drink since Saturday. I skipped the sleeping pill on Monday because I was at the gym longer than I planned, but I only slept 1.5 hours. Last night, I got in maybe 4-5 hours.

I think I might come clean to my doc about the baclofen. I think there may be things going on with me that are beyond the experience of this forum, and maybe she needs all the info, even though she's probably not familiar with baclofen. Am I doing the right thing? Am I shooting myself in the foot here? I need some opinions other than the voices in my head.