Bill, I can relate to a lot of what you've written.
There was a period of time when I had to check in with friends to make sure that I was behaving normally. Several periods of time, actually.
Mostly they just said I seemed a little out of it, a little distracted, but nothing serious or alarming.
But I felt as though I wasn't connecting, wasn't making sense all the time.
What I really related to was this:
When I was almost home today, I started feeling something strange. A tension in my neck and back, and a tingling in my face and head. My hands felt a little shaky. Was I about to have a seizure?
It was for that reason that I had an MRI. I also had two ER visits related to those symptoms. Turned out everything was normal! From blood pressure to oxygen to liver to heart to brain. All fine.
I can't offer you any suggestions, I just wanted you to know that I don't think I'm particularly nuts, and I experienced those things too.
I think a doctor would be a good idea, for sure. And if your doc knows about your drinking s/he probably won't be shocked about the rest of it. (meaning bac) My doctor didn't have any reaction when I told her about the bac, but that was loooong after all the tests, etc. I never told her that the two were related.
At the time I had those SEs I just plowed through it. (arranged my schedule so that I could do as little as humanly possible, treated myself as though I had the flu and was very, very gentle with myself. I used the excuse at work that I was having panic attacks and insomnia related to depression. That I was trying combinations of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds that seemed to be making things worse, but that my doctor wanted me to continue on for "at least a month." Those excuses are very valid, very acceptable.)
They didn't last long, and were exacerbated, I thought, by drinking and sleeplessness. Perhaps I was wrong though. Still, they didn't last.
Neither did the paranoia.
I hope it gets easier for you, and quickly. (I think it will!) I also hope that you can discuss it with your doc and that you find a receptive listener if you do go that route.
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