Daily dosing record - beatle

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I meant to thank you tip, bleep, ig, Ne, Dg and all others for your votes of confidence and constant support.

You are all invited to the beatle success party when it happens... and the drinks are on me (nonalcoholic drinks are so cheap, after all ) !

[Bruunhilde]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hey beatle, not sure how I missed this thread being so active.

I wanted to let you know I feel empathy and wish there was something I could do to help. You've helped so many people with your comprehensive research and enthusiasm to disect the issues of everything scientific. Amazing, and considering the bac, super impressive.

For the record, I went from 1/2 liter of vodka or gin a night for weeks at a time interspersed with nights of a bottle of wine plus beer or more wine to nothing and had headaches but nothing like you're experiencing. The biggest change was the diarrhea stopped. I agree everyone's different but it doesn't seem likey you were experiencing detox from 3-5 beers/night.

Hang in there, I'm rooting for you. Please be careful.

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I think your idea of dropping back a bit and trying to get decent nights rest is a good one. Such long term insomnia must be debilitating in the extreme! A decent sleep, even one, will go a long way to helping you feel much better.

Also, take heart - 3 to 5 drinks a night is not really a huge consumption. Look how far you have come. This is very similar to what Ne was doing just before indifference, a couple of drinks a night. Is it habit, or compulsion that is making you drink those drinks?

As Bruun says beatle, you have helped so many, and we are rooting for you! Some of those fruit concoctions can get pricey, so don't think you're getting away with a meager bar bill just yet!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

ok, you're invited too, then.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Bruunhilde;1085579 wrote: Hey beatle, not sure how I missed this thread being so active. ..

I wanted to let you know I feel empathy and wish there was something I could do to help...

Hang in there, I'm rooting for you. Please be careful.

Ok, you're invited, too, then

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

bleep;1085614 wrote: I think your idea of dropping back a bit and trying to get decent nights rest is a good one. Such long term insomnia must be debilitating in the extreme! A decent sleep, even one, will go a long way to helping you feel much better.

Also, take heart - 3 to 5 drinks a night is not really a huge consumption. Look how far you have come. This is very similar to what Ne was doing just before indifference, a couple of drinks a night. Is it habit, or compulsion that is making you drink those drinks?

As Bruun says beatle, you have helped so many, and we are rooting for you! Some of those fruit concoctions can get pricey, so don't think you're getting away with a meager bar bill just yet!
Thanks bleep. I'm wondering if I should just tone down the night doses.. .and perhaps up the earliers? Will try it out tonight. Very falling asleep already, head hitting keyboard every 2 minutes. Getting up to fetch some chipolte hummus from the refrigerator. That should help...

Back now, with an ice cold beer to go with the chipolte stuff... I mean seriously, how can you eat chipolte hummus without an IPA by the side? :H ...

... which brings me to the drinking part of your post:

bleep;1085614 wrote: Is it habit, or compulsion that is making you drink those drinks?

Habit is something which beyond a doubt is playing a larger role than I'd care to admit.

However, high doses of bac during the day make me feel all tightened up with agitation like a spring. The last few minutes in the car towards home, I'm hopping out of my skin. Just the knowledge of the possibility that I will be able to get down to business as soon as I am in the door gets me through those moments of agitation.

Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the celebration, and I'm not worrying about the bar bill... where I come from, a teensy tiny g&t costs more than a huge smoothie. And really, how many huge smoothies can you down?:H

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Take 350 tomorrow. Just do it.

Okay I said it. Don't ask me to explain it. Imma go crawl back into my hole now.

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

https://www.mywayout.org/community/im...ew/applaud.gif

Don't look at me , he said it

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Jeesh, despite my earlier advice in this thread, I'm tempted to say go for it. It's only a day.

EDIT: I'm torn on this one, I can't decide whether or not this is good. Aaaargh.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

bleep;1085678 wrote: It's only a day.

Or 3

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1085635 wrote: I'm wondering if I should just tone down the night doses.. .and perhaps up the earliers? Will try it out tonight.
I tried that for a couple of days at some point. Bac before bed helps me sleep. Sleep without bac, especially when I got to the big numbers, was decidedly uncomfortable. My body/brain needs a more or less steady supply of bac...



beatle;1085635 wrote: Habit is something which beyond a doubt is playing a larger role than I'd care to admit.

However, high doses of bac during the day make me feel all tightened up with agitation like a spring. The last few minutes in the car towards home, I'm hopping out of my skin. Just the knowledge of the possibility that I will be able to get down to business as soon as I am in the door gets me through those moments of agitation.

Yes to the habit, maybe. Again, based on some words of wisdom from others, I just decided to not have a drink that fateful night. I had tried this on two occasions previously. It was hell the first two times. On Feb. 4th it was relatively effortless. Still, I removed all the booze from the house. By then, though, I was already forgetting to get wine/beer on my home. The white-hot-need was gone, mostly. Then it was just gone, period.
I am tempted to agree with the others about the dosage increase, but I hesitate given the circumstances... The experiment should be undertaken with some supervision, in a perfect world. After you've gotten some sleep. Insomnia messes with the brain/mind more than bac, imho. Some very clear lessons about this in some of the threads found here.
I would suggest you eat some meat, and look to the supplements, but since I eat meat and didn't take anything and it was still a very rocky road, maybe that's not a factor! Then again I'm not a welshman... Maybe that's the key? :H

You've got a good plan, beatle, imho.
:h

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Ne/Neva Eva;1085736 wrote: I tried that for a couple of days at some point. Bac before bed helps me sleep. Sleep without bac, especially when I got to the big numbers, was decidedly uncomfortable. My body/brain needs a more or less steady supply of bac...
This has not been my experience. (I mean about bac before bed helping.) Bac makes me agitated and twitch and sends electric shocks throughout my body, even more noticeably when I am lying down, away from outside stimuli/distractions. To me, these sensations are not sleep-conducive.

As for needing a steady supply of baclofen: I am quite concerned about this. It doesn't make sense to me to pump the bac in all day and then to let so many hours go by without the bac. I keep wondering -- wouldn't that be messing with the whole goal of keeping the bac in your body all the time? But is that constant flow of bac also hindering my sleep? And is my sleep deprivation hindering my ability to handle the SEs from bac? Can somebody answer me please? (nothing wishy-washy -- just a "do this, don't do that" will do nicely.)

Ne/Neva Eva;1085736 wrote: Yes to the habit, maybe. Again, based on some words of wisdom from others, I just decided to not have a drink that fateful night. I had tried this on two occasions previously. It was hell the first two times. On Feb. 4th it was relatively effortless. Still, I removed all the booze from the house. By then, though, I was already forgetting to get wine/beer on my home. The white-hot-need was gone, mostly. Then it was just gone, period.
My conclusion, based on the thousands of threads and 10,000s of posts I've read here, is that it makes the most sense for me to stop drinking altogether when it feels natural, when it is "relatively effortless". Although I may begin the day thinking today I will be AF, the intense fear of not having alcohol in the house "just in case", makes sure I don't forget to buy beer while I'm out.

It doesn't seem natural to me then "to remove all the booze from the house." It sounds scary, and certainly not "relatively effortless."

(And I've lived through that kind of scary too many times. I'm living through another kind of scary every day and especially every night so I won't have to live through that kind of scary ever again.)

And also, it baffles me to hear all this flippy-floppy advice: "don't worry about the drinking, just take the pills and let them do their work" to "you have to stop drinking to get the full benefits of bac" to "it's just a habit, why not try going AF?". And often the varying kinds of advice coming from the same people, at different times.

Anyway, as I said, I will stop drinking altogether when it feels natural, when it is "relatively effortless".

Ne/Neva Eva;1085736 wrote: I am tempted to agree with the others about the dosage increase, but I hesitate given the circumstances... The experiment should be undertaken with some supervision, in a perfect world. After you've gotten some sleep. Insomnia messes with the brain/mind more than bac, imho. Some very clear lessons about this in some of the threads found here.

Honestly? 350? From 270? Would you have done that?

Moot point here anyway, as there is no supervision possible here, or anywhere.

And yes, I need to get more sleep before I can evaluate what is doing what with my brain and body.

Ne/Neva Eva;1085736 wrote: I would suggest you eat some meat, and look to the supplements, but since I eat meat and didn't take anything and it was still a very rocky road, maybe that's not a factor! :H h

Of course you know I would die if I ate meat... but I'm assuming you meant that as a joke.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1086231 wrote: This has not been my experience. (I mean about bac before bed helping.) Bac makes me agitated and twitch and sends electric shocks throughout my body, even more noticeably when I am lying down, away from outside stimuli/distractions. To me, these sensations are not sleep-conducive.
Yes. You're right. That was what I was experiencing too. I can't remember when it stopped, honestly. Those nights sucked. The naps, even, were lousy. Some of them I could sort of enjoy, you know? I get it that you're not, though. I'll look back through my thread and other places to see what was going on for me at that point...

beatle;1086231 wrote: As for needing a steady supply of baclofen: I am quite concerned about this. It doesn't make sense to me to pump the bac in all day and then to let so many hours go by without the bac. I keep wondering -- wouldn't that be messing with the whole goal of keeping the bac in your body all the time? But is that constant flow of bac also hindering my sleep? And is my sleep deprivation hindering my ability to handle the SEs from bac? Can somebody answer me please? (nothing wishy-washy -- just a "do this, don't do that" will do nicely.)
Beatle, if we had these answers we wouldn't be suffering through this. No one, not one person here can say definitively what you should do about that. I asked a physician once why we didn't have to take antibiotics over night and she told me that the body isn't 'working' at night, so we don't need to have a continuous supply or something. I definitely found it counterproductive at EVERY step of the way to wake up and take bac. For many reasons. Otter would disagree. But I stand pretty firm on this one. Sleep outranks all...

beatle;1086231 wrote: My conclusion, based on the thousands of threads and 10,000s of posts I've read here, is that it makes the most sense for me to stop drinking altogether when it feels natural, when it is "relatively effortless". Although I may begin the day thinking today I will be AF, the intense fear of not having alcohol in the house "just in case", makes sure I don't forget to buy beer while I'm out.
Yep, I understand, but I think that's what I did.

beatle;1086231 wrote: It doesn't seem natural to me then "to remove all the booze from the house." It sounds scary, and certainly not "relatively effortless."

I don't know what to tell you. It's all fucking scary, beatle.

beatle;1086231 wrote: And also, it baffles me to hear all this flippy-floppy advice:

Guilty. It's hard. to give advice. to take advice.


beatle;1086231 wrote: Honestly? 350? From 270? Would you have done that?

That is exactly what I did. I was at 260, or 280 maybe? Went up to 340. I don't remember how long it took. Not long enough. Maybe. I'll look. I was supervised. I also answered my flippin' phone when someone called. just sayin

Here's concrete advice:
I'd like to see you go down. I want you to talk through the death-grip you have on the bottle. (I get it. TOTALLY get it. Wish I'd explored it a bit.) I want you to be able to sleep for more than a couple of sleepless hours. I don't care what you eat or whatever. (It was a joke.)
I may be skewered for this. I don't care. Lo0p might be right. But I'm... worried.

Bac works. Period. It just does. You're not an exception. Not an anomaly. You are not lacking in strength, determination or commitment. You're not anything that will keep you from finding indifference. You will find it and soon. I swear. It's true.

You are exhausted and alone. Time to take care of beatle. Bac is there. So are we.

Take a breather, beatle. You've earned it and frankly I think you may find what you're looking for when you don't have to medicate the SEs.
(this is what I would tell my husband, ftr. What I would have told myself.)
Love and endless support, my friend. No matter what you decide to do.
Ne/K

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Ne/Neva Eva;1086241 wrote:
...That is exactly what I did. I was at 260, or 280 maybe? Went up to 340. I don't remember how long it took. Not long enough. Maybe. I'll look. I was supervised. I also answered my flippin' phone when someone called. just sayin
Ne/K

Ok, but Lo0p said "take 350 tomorrow".

And bleep said it's only one day.

(and what does "I also answered my flippin' phone when someone called." mean?)

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

ps,

Ne, I'm trying to be focussed and to the point with my posts, to the point of being downright rude.

THANK YOU for all the empathy and support and advice, etc etc etc...

I'm sorry that I am such a contrarian.