Daily dosing record - beatle

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Okay, well that's a ridiculously loopy response. You gotta go up and go down with a reasonable plan. In moderation. (as if what we're talking about could EVER be called moderate...) at least relatively rationally.
I don't think I was having the same SEs as you are, or at least not as dramatically.
I'll look right now.
Are we in the same time zone? I called you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

HA! Not rude. At all. But if that's where we're headed, Bring it on sister! I'm here. xo

[Cinders]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle,

You are never rude. You are succint. There is a huge difference.

I am not going to give you advice because you have been able to do what I have only just decided to do, despite all my psychosomatic SEs. Baclofen to the switch, no matter what.

You are a brave soul and you are my example. (Sorry to say that, because I know you will hate it, but anything else for me is death, just like you.)

Decide what you need to do after reading all the answers and threads.

You are an extremely intelligent woman. You can and will decide well.

Love,
Cindi

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Two days after I found indifference:

Ne/Neva Eva;1055050 wrote: Edit: Much of this post is incorrect. I will edit it throughout.
That said, this is likely to be a depressing post.
I was much inspired by Reggie's post, and by the video otter posted (again). The decision to be made is long over-due, the addiction has to go. I've committed to AFreedom.
Recap of the last week:
Monday, 3 beers, not sure how much bac. 280-340. Vomited, though.
Tuesday, dunno whatever it was, the SEs were miserable. (not much booze, ftr. Can't drink much even when I want to).
Wednesday, no booze, 300mg/bac
Thursday, 1 beer, 280/mg bac?
Friday, effortlessly no AL, 320/mg bac
Saturday, 300mg/bac no beer, but with effort around the witching hour
Today. 40mg in. haven't decided if I'm going to take 280 or 300 today. No booze today for sure.
All this with my best effort, absolute best, to stay the course evenly and on a schedule. I check and recheck the pill baggies. Thank goodness for them. I didn't remember taking my 5pm dose yesterday and couldn't find the baggie. I almost gave up and went to fish 60mg more out of the pill bottle when I fortuitously found the empty baggie. EDIT: I didn't take the 60mg at 5pm. The empty bag I found was from the day before. I went to bed having taken no more than 240mg for the day. When at previous levels I was taking between 280mg/day and 320mg/day.

I feel terrible. Really, really terrible. My body aches. I almost passed out several times when I got up at 3am. Light shows, muscle twitches. Panic and despair. Ongoing obsessive thoughts about MWO. The mood swings are very profound. I started out yesterday with 'yeehaw' and within hours I was mired in profound depression. EDIT: Is this due to major fluctuations in baclofen ingestion? Drinking profoundly less? An underlying comorbidity? Time will tell.

Fickle's post about women taking bac reminds me what I've wondered for months. There are not really any accounts of pre-menopausal women who hit the switch. I can't think of one other than Birdy and she's been missing around here for months. And she had a terrible time of it, too. EDIT: Not sure this has any merit.

I'm mortified by this thread. Don't even want to bump it again. But I need you guys still and am apparently not done with it, still.
I'll clean it up soon, when I'm not feeling quite so despondent about my own contributions, or lack of them, to this forum.
The good news is that I'll probably be on top of the world in a few short hours. Or maybe not.
Truth is, I'm just confused in general. This is really, really lousy.
I have no choice at this point but to keep taking the pills. So I will. But 280mg/day seems to be what my body allows me to take and so I'll probably do that today.
Certainly no more than that this week. I have arranged a long weekend starting on Friday, to help stabilize this, hopefully. Though lack of structure certainly seems to contribute to weirder than normal sleeping patterns. Just as it contributed to drinking more than my maintenance level.
I think this post is all over the place and I should probably wait to send it, but it's where I am...

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I want to see you get some sleep too Beatle. I want to see you in a slightly more comfortable place than you are right now. Take it easy, take it down a notch. Get your head a lil's straighter and take a breather.

Then, when you are ready I want you to SHOCK your body with baclofen. I don't want to see any more of this titration crap. If you're at 250 then, I want you at 300 the next day. If you report back that you saw a giant-shrek like alien sucking on your big toe, but you still knew that it wasn't real then I want you at 325 the day after that (I'm tempted, VERY TEMPTED, to throw bigger numbers in there...please feel free to read it as though I did). How's 3** sound for the next day (and I don't mean 330)? I want you to stay there even if it hurts. I want you to get to that place where you can sleep right next to a bottle of your beloved vodka and fall asleep staring at it...sober!

I want you to have a goddamn spiritual experience (I'm not going to defend my use of that terminology to anyone, so I don't want to hear it).

Both you and I and everyone else here knows that I could be dead fucking wrong about this. On the flipside, I think both you and I and everyone else knows that regardless of the outcome (very positive or very negative), you will live and you will be okay.

Sure, this would have been more appropriate in a PM. I'm sorry but I don't really want to field any questions except from you Beatle (which I'll do anytime ).

[RedThread12]

Daily dosing record - beatle

On the other hand, you could be fucking dead if you weren't right about this, LoOp.

Not sayin' it's right for everyone, just sayin'.

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

As you say beatle, contradicting advice abounds. It is, unfortunately, the nature of the beast! NE said it best I think, but I don't want to quote her post in it's entirety, so read it again maybe.

Right now, I reckon a good nights sleep is the best thing you can do to your body and mind, so you need to do whatever it takes to get that. Haven't you got something in your box of tricks that will knock you out for 8 hours? Once you've had a proper sleep, or even a decent one over a couple of days, things will look brighter, I'm sure. If you have to reduce your baclofen to do that, I think it's worth it.

Then, I would be very tempted to follow Lo0p's advice...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Morning, beatle. You up yet?

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Isn't it 3 in the morning there??

In which case beatle is probably wide awake.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

It's 5am. Exactly my thought, bleep!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

glad you got some sleep, beatle.
(yes, I'm posting this to keep others from worrying too much! sorry!)
xo

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

No sorries. I planned to post it and all kinds of joys of getting 7 hours sleep, but got caught up in all kinds of other stuff.

I'm bumping this up so I won't forget to update it later today. It was on page 2, and I hadn't even read the past 6 posts (lo0p's being the last one I had seen until now.)

Will respond and update later... especially now that it's at the top (though it will probably be on page 2 again by the time I get back in a couple of hours. sigh.)

My problem is my compulsion to read other posts (from the top down... and then I never get to my own thread). Lame, I know. Also, I'm an addict.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

My name is beatle and I am a MWOaholic.

[Lo0p's Mom]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hey beatle, I am visiting lo0p and I just wanted to pipe in.
I watched lo0p through all this as he did live with me when he got started. Yes, he made me very nervous but then when hasn't he. I do know he started with high doses and moved up quite rapidly. I listened and asked a lot of questions.
Well reading your posts brought back a lot of memories. This last fall he really was taking high doses but instead of drinking like you are he felt like taking more bac. What we did notice was he described a lot of the same things your saying so we suggested he get hold of a doctor for anxiety. He listened and got a prescription for xanax. After a couple of weeks, which I was not sure he was going to make it through we started seeing changes. Lo0p is definitely doing much better including sleeping for the first time in two years. Please look into this because your feelings sound soooo familiar.

[tiptronic_ct]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hiya Lo0p's Mom :hallo: