Daily dosing record - beatle

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hiya, Lo0p's mom! He helped me find freedom! He was my first inspiration and I'm happy to call him friend!

Lo0p, your mom rocks.

beatle, so do you. :H:H:H mwoaholic.

[Bruunhilde]

Daily dosing record - beatle

MWO ALkie right here with yose.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Lo0p's Mom;1087311 wrote: Hey beatle, I am visiting lo0p and I just wanted to pipe in.
I watched lo0p through all this as he did live with me when he got started. Yes, he made me very nervous but then when hasn't he. I do know he started with high doses and moved up quite rapidly. I listened and asked a lot of questions.
Well reading your posts brought back a lot of memories. This last fall he really was taking high doses but instead of drinking like you are he felt like taking more bac. What we did notice was he described a lot of the same things your saying so we suggested he get hold of a doctor for anxiety. He listened and got a prescription for xanax. After a couple of weeks, which I was not sure he was going to make it through we started seeing changes. Lo0p is definitely doing much better including sleeping for the first time in two years. Please look into this because your feelings sound soooo familiar.

Hi Lo0p's Mom!.

Thank you so much for dropping in and for reading my thread and giving me valuable advice.

I hadn't realized Lo0p had high levels of agitation issues such as I had been experiencing.. This is the first I heard about it. Maybe I missed something? Maybe he is too manly to whine about SEs? Anyway, I had no idea about the anxiety. He has only mentioned xanax recently (I think -- others here will attest to my lack of short-term memory), in response to my inability to focus. I didn't make the agitation connection, though.

In fact, agitation is my SE number one.

I do have some old lorazepam (ativan, temesta) from a prescription for anxiety (before my alcoholism was the major problem... or at least before I or anyone else realized it was), EDITED FROM HERE: which is basically the same as xanax (alprazolam). (Both are short-acting benzos.) I will look into using it for the anxiety. Despite alcohol and benzos being contraindicated, Dr. L recommends xanax, and apparently (based only on what I've read here) believes the risk of addiction is low because of the baclofen.

Thank you again, Lo0p's Mom... And keep on helping people!

-b

This was edited because another MWO member expressed alarm about my suggesting alcohol+benzo+bac... I think I may have created some confusion by how I referred to things, and also how I expressed myself. I hope this clears things up.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Lo0p here!

I just had the best leg workout of my entire life!! Then I alternated between swimming laps in the pool (with legs I could barely walk on) and jumping in the hot tub. I am higher than a freaking kite right now!!nfire::woot::wow: I'll briefly go over this but I'll have to revisit it soon because there isn't a shot or hit of the purest *whatthefuckever* that could make me feel like I do right now.

I have a lot to say about this. I had experienced extreme anxiety and agitation while taking baclofen AND before. I believe it has a lot to do with the reason I became an alcoholic. I never whined about it on the forums because I thought it was just me.

My mother has seen me suffer these episodes my entire life and I believe she thinks that baclofen may have increased the intensity (I think she's wrong but I often do before I realize she isn't).

Okay I'm done....sorry...lol. There's a lot to this and I can't do it justice right now.

I'll tell the full story from my perspective as soon as I can. :H

As far as my mom and family goes...yeah, there really aren't words to describe how lucky I am. :k

I will say that I've been trying to get her to read these forums for a very long time now. She has a little bit of difficulty putting her thoughts into written words and she is also very pressed for time. She is much more of a verbal communicator...and way too damn good at it for me sometimes. :blush:

Anyway, Beatle, you talked to her on the phone back in '09 when you saved my life and I've been talking to her about you ever since.

If she sees a parallel here between our experiences then I know I need to STOP and think about it because that means it isn't nothing. I'll fill you in on all the details as I recollect and discover them.

[Lo0p's Mom]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle, I am glad to know your still persevering with everything your going threw. You must realize your a very brave person. As are all of you who are trying to help yourselves. I know one of lo0ps biggest concerns was the addiction properties of benzos. Thats the beauty of bac. It stops the addiction so its not a problem. He was very worried about that. His doctor reassured him he'd be o.k. His logical mind knew that was true but he was in a state of panic so he had to get past this to do as the doctor said. It was his sister who said I think he's having anxiety attacks. I think it was a relief to him to have a name to it so he could get help. Still he was in such a panic til the zanax took hold. Wow! the changes have been huge. I do believe that anxiety is a problem for a lot of alcoholics so it makes sense that it would become a problem once the alcohol is no more (yea!). I know its not the same type of drug but he came home from the hospital with oxycontin and tossed it when he didn't need it anymore unbelievable! He's also only drinking by choice Unbelievable! I know everyones not having the same challenges but when I read your posts I felt like I could be reading something lo0p wrote.
Good luck to beatle & all Thanks for all the kind words

[susiesmum]

Daily dosing record - beatle

A Big, warm hello, LoOp's mom.
I'm so glad to see another mum here, joining in and sharing your valuable perspectives. It's great that you and LoOp can be 'here' together.
And I have learned much from LoOp's posts and passed it onto Susie, who started bac about 3 weeks ago. She was addicted to benzos (before alcohol), is weaning off them slowly now.

[Isolde]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Lo0p;1087751 wrote:
My mother has seen me suffer these episodes my entire life and I believe she thinks that baclofen may have increased the intensity (I think she's wrong but I often do before I realize she isn't).

She's not wrong.

After decreasing my anxiety at lower doses, bac absolutely ramped it right back up at higher doses, until I at times felt manic and sometimes like I was on the verge of a panic attack, which was not something I'd dealt with before, not even before bac.

IMHO, bac and xanax can go very well together, and I believe that Dr. L has said the same.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Lo0p and Lo0p’s Mom,

I’m overwhelmed.

I had written a post earlier, in response to Lo0p's Mom's first post, which I did not post (a familiar pattern with me) because I was worried about privacy issues.

Anyway, in that post, which I threw away, I recalled that conversation with Lo0p's Mom. What a caring and passionate person and mother she was (is). Before that incident, during which I spoke with her, she had already been telling people about bac, everyone she knew who had an alcohol problem or had someone close to them that had an alcohol problem. Reaching out everywhere and trying to find ways to get the message out there... and saving her son's life.

When she reached out to me on this thread, it felt like, how to put it… a loop . Like everything coming back around. Sort of like my giving help and getting help, but different help, and it all being related somehow…but not like a give-and-take, back-and-forth thing, more like a continuum. (Dang! I can’t wait to shed that loss-of-articulateness SE. I think it ranks number 2 after anxiety/agitation as my worse SE.)

Anyway, I think I sense what Lo0p’s Mom was getting at about seeing a parallel. I think she saw that I was going through something similar to what Lo0p had gone through, and meanwhile, lo0p had been talking about me (this alone is overwhelming) and it all looped back to me and here and now...

...and now, my job is to follow up on the 2 Lo0ps' advice, and get me some xanax. A call to Dr. L is long overdue.

(and then ramp it up?)

Oh yeah, and THANK YOU!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Isolde;1088212 wrote: She's not wrong.

After decreasing my anxiety at lower doses, bac absolutely ramped it right back up at higher doses, until I at times felt manic and sometimes like I was on the verge of a panic attack, which was not something I'd dealt with before, not even before bac.

IMHO, bac and xanax can go very well together, and I believe that Dr. L has said the same.

Exactly.

I think there are many others on this forum who have reported amazing relief from anxiety at lower levels and amazingly increased anxiety at higher levels.

It's the same with sleeping. Amazingly improved sleep at lower levels and amazing insomnia at higher levels.

Can somebody please extrapolate?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

p.s. on the Lo0p/Lo0p's Mom post:

Now that the privacy thing is out of the bag, I’d like to give lo0p’s dad some credit, too… he was a major part of the equation... hope I haven’t overstepped here.

[Cinders]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Wonderful posts.

It sounds like a great and caring loop to me.

Blessings to all.

Love,
Cindi

[tiptronic_ct]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1088222 wrote: Exactly.

I think there are many others on this forum who have reported amazing relief from anxiety at lower levels and amazingly increased anxiety at higher levels.

It's the same with sleeping. Amazingly improved sleep at lower levels and amazing insomnia at higher levels.

Can somebody please extrapolate?

Too much of a good thing?

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I'll fill you in on the whole story this weekend...maybe in private (dunno yet). It's just literally impossible today and probably tomorrow. There is someone who'll hold me accountable though so it will get done.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Who's holding you accountable, then?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Update, March 30, 2011

First of all, I have received SO many posts full of thoughtful thoughts (how's that for articulateness?) and caring advice. It has made all the difference, and I’m sorry I haven’t posted on my situation since then. and I am so glad I posted then at that time. (Ne, well, what can I say? Everything shall be illuminated.)

As you know, I was distraught and depressed and severely sleep-deprived. I felt I was getting conflicting advice and I was downright ornery. For that I apologize.

A bunch of caring souls told me to get some sleep. Quite obvious, and I was acutely aware of the need, but the acorn had hit my head and the sky was falling.

But then, probably in no small part because of the urgings here on this thread, I was under the comforter at 11.30pm, and stayed there until... 6.30pm (minus a few trips to the loo)

I woke up to birds singing and looked at the clock… 6.30…and then I got up and looked at myself in the mirror, and I was beautiful. (OK, much more beautiful than the day before, and the day before that, and the week before that, etc.).

And things started to look more beautiful, too. Or less ugly.

NOTE: I think the reasons I managed to sleep for that long were:
1) I went to bed as soon as I got tired (did not prolong it and hit my “second wind”, which is my usual routine).
2) I took 5mg zolpidem (Stillnocht/Ambien) when I went to sleep (didn’t wait until I awoke, as I so often do).

I started to reassess my plan and decided I would stay one more day at the +/– 260mg/day dose, and then go back up to 285 a couple days and then upwards pretty quickly… but not 350 all of a sudden, although I will never know if that’s what I should have done…

UPDATE (April 3):
That (the beautiful part) lasted one day. Back to 3-4 hours again now, I’m afraid. But even so, that 7-hour sleep night charged my batteries, and I’m still going on that revving up.

Current update coming…