Daily dosing record - beatle

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

i know you're busy and have a lot to do and maybe you don't want to share w me or w anyone, but i'm here not sleeping and working on my new disease: insanity, so i'd really appreaciate it if you'd please take the five seconds it takes to resend an email (which i am sure won't help w my new disease, but will keep me engaged while i work on it via not sleeping). or, as an alternative, take the next fifteen to pm yours truly w a lengthy explanation about why you don't want to anymore. winks. nudges. squeezes. kisses.

oops, i'd better watch it or some guys here might start to get itchy and start going on about their appendages.

hang in there, beatle. sounds like you're doing that. but we're antsy here for some details. obviously not just me.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Rudy I sent you an email. Two, actually, I think. One for sure. winks. nudges. (I don't do the squeezes. kisses. Not online or in writing, anyway. One of my many personality flaws, I guess.) Am sending you a new email now.

p.s. I don't want anyone reading this thread to feel they are not one of "us" and there is a big private behind-the-scenes network going on here. ftr, I cannot keep my PM box from filling up, so I have set up a separate email account for my MWO correspondence. I don't want to write the address here, where anyone in the whole wide world (www) can get access to it, so if you want my email address for any reason, just PM me with your email address, and I promise I will answer you there (if you pass my extremely strict vetting process, of course:H)

If my PM box is full and your PM gets bounced back, I will contact you anyway via PM, as I will get a notice that you have tried to PM me.

[redhead77]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1124247 wrote:
Today my "later" was truly because of the absence from my fifth appendage (the only one I have atm, but that was tmiuch

Been there, done that. Regularly. Listen, some of us get it, what being on high dose bac does to one who is single. I think it's more than high dose bac, though. I think this is a sign of the switch coming. At least it was for me. My libido shot straight up.

So where are we girl? Could we all reach a mental climax when we hear your news? No pressure, though. I don't ever expect you to help us reach fruition. I mean regarding your baclofen experience.

PS. Since were talking about emails. I believe I left the ball in your corner.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

redhead77;1124308 wrote: Been there, done that. Regularly. Listen, some of us get it, what being on high dose bac does to one who is single. I think it's more than high dose bac, though. I think this is a sign of the switch coming. At least it was for me. My libido shot straight up.

So where are we girl? Could we all reach a mental climax when we hear your news? No pressure, though. I don't ever expect you to help us reach fruition. I mean regarding your baclofen experience.

PS. Since were talking about emails. I believe I left the ball in your corner.

I still cannot do the multiple quote thing, and wtf, I live and breathe the internet. (Not on social networks, it's true, but 90% of my workday is computer and internet based) ... there must be some mental block, like I was cyberly abused by a chronic multiple quoter and I've blocked it and relegated it to my subconscious. I'll have to put on my list of items to discuss with my therapist.

Anyhoo, if lack of libido is a sign of the switch coming, then the switch, for me, has been coming for about a year. And in my personal life, it's the only thing that has been coming during that time, iykwim.

As soon as I reach bac fruition, all will know about it, and I doubt it will cause multiple mental orgasms, but I think I will keep the personal physical ones to myself. I've explained, both in the past and recently, about my reticence regarding self-revelation.

(I broke this credo but once and have regretted it ever since.)

[Murphyx]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I'm confused. There appear to be innuendo and double entendre and even some of that female thing that I really don't get: subtlety.

Are we talking about shagging?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

yes on all accounts.

Sum up:

1) I can't do the multiple quote thing, although everyone else can, rendering me an idiot (as if my self esteem were not low enough-- this part in the parentheses comes as additional information not part of the sum-up.)

2) My lack of libido should mean I'm coming to the switch but I've been coming to the switch for a year and I'm still not coming.

3) When I reach bac fruition I shall advertise it freely, but I'll keep other fruition successes to myself.

[Murphyx]

Daily dosing record - beatle

RE

1) I can't do the multi-quote thing either. But I don't care. I revel in my idiocy.
2) I'm not sure you can assume the experiences of others' necessarily apply to you.
3) I disagree. I think you should record your fruition experience and post it here.

BTW I totally agree with you regarding the supplements thing. As you have made sure the ones you take are unadulterated, you're left with only natural ingredients. When people advise you to drop them, they may as well be suggesting you stop eating a particular type of food. Having said that, dropping cucumbers may not be a bad idea at the moment.

What's your native language?

[redhead77]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle,

Umm, I 'm confused about the quote thing. Who seriously gives a shit about that? Glad I woke up to the rest. I never said lack of libido. I said, I had a serious gain of libido. That can be a a sign the switch is coming, at least for me. As far as the fruition talk. I'm not sure where you're going there. I was trying to be fun with it. That's all.

It comes to one thing. I'm hoping the best for you. And soon.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Murphyx;1124337 wrote: RE

1) I can't do the multi-quote thing either. But I don't care. I revel in my idiocy.
2) I'm not sure you can assume the experiences of others' necessarily apply to you.
3) I disagree. I think you should record your fruition experience and post it here.

BTW I totally agree with you regarding the supplements thing. As you have made sure the ones you take are unadulterated, you're left with only natural ingredients. When people advise you to drop them, they may as well be suggesting you stop eating a particular type of food. Having said that, dropping cucumbers may not be a bad idea at the moment.

What's your native language?

1) If you are an idiot, I'm proud to be in your company.
2) So you mean I am unique in not having reached bac furition in a year, nor any other fruition in the same period of time? That could very likely be true. But makes me wish the experiences of others did apply to me.
3) I don't know if that will be accepted on this forum. Unless, of course, I use innuendo and double entendre and even some of that female thing you really don't get: subtlety. And what fun would that be for you y-chromosomers?

Thank you for the support re: supps. I believe they are the only reason I am alive today. And if I ever get AF, they will make the healing go better. But I think bleep had a point, and I think the culprit is the other stuff in supplements. Hence the elimination of all the crap filler and stuffer stuff. (Never liked the idea of ingesting the liquid from cows' hooves, anyway, being a long-time vegetarian. It's only recently that vegcaps have been widely available, though)

Why drop cucumbers? seems to me they should be a mainstay.

Japanese

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

redhead77;1124342 wrote: beatle,

Umm, I 'm confused about the quote thing. Who seriously gives a shit about that? Glad I woke up to the rest. I never said lack of libido. I said, I had a serious gain of libido. That can be a a sign the switch is coming, at least for me. As far as the fruition talk. I'm not sure where you're going there. I was trying to be fun with it. That's all.

It comes to one thing. I'm hoping the best for you. And soon.
Sorry Red. I think I misunderstood, or perhaps I just didn't make it clear. you wrote:

redhead77;1124308 wrote: I think it's more than high dose bac, though. I think this is a sign of the switch coming. At least it was for me. My libido shot straight up.

I also didn't get the funny part. I guess it's too serious for me. Time to loosen up. In every way.

But, to set the record straight, from early on, my libido has always been there in copious amounts, and probably increased from the first bac dose. (I think we discussed this on the sexual side effects thread, or on bleep's thread, but, I might only have talked about it privately with other members, which I apologize for -- I mean assuming that other people knew that. I have always been vehemently against this kind of thing). Anyway, my libido never receded, only increased with the declining of fruition that accompanied the increasing of bac dosing. (I know I said that already.) In fact, my lack of fruition in the real-life sense has been missing for 10 years and 8 months minus 18 days (not that I'm measuring :H and not that it matters so much in the physical sense, since I've always been the independent sort). Again tmi; I'm losing all sense of personal boundaries.

How's that for innuendo and double entendre and even some of that female thing that males apparently really don't get: subtlety?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

ignominious;1124264 wrote: Gotta say, I was hoping for a bit more than that but it's good to see you looking well Beatle

Ig, thank you for that.

Basically, I slept 6/7 hours last night and the night before (punctuated by 2-hour wake-ups, instigated by who knows what?) That helps the mood a lot.

Then I woke up this morning with no desire to drink anything. (Usually my nights are so fraught with anxiety, circular thinking, self-flagellation, regret, self-hate, depression, etc., that I go to the al first thing upon waking (when I am away from home -- and don't have to take care of the kids... I never do that at home ftr).)

Then I had a GREAT day. It was like everything was falling into place. Without me doing much to make it happen. It felt like I was blessed. Really.

Today, I didn't drink all day and didn't miss it.

BUT I'm drinking a lot tonight -- without abandon, however. I'm disappointed in myself for drinking after such a wonderful day. You could say it's habit, but I know it's more than that when I really WANTED a drink after I came home (forgot about it temporarily, however, taking care of business, emails, phone calls, etc.). I ended up making myself a drink (very strong, mind you -- making up for lost time) an hour and a half after entering the door.

Before I made the drink, I tried to convince myself it was habit calling, and with a little willpower, I could resist. But it didn't work. Despite my best intentions, I really WANTED it; my body really wanted it, and I felt that oh-so-familiar nagging need to calm down. (As has been the case for the last 15 months.): al works to instantly mellow me out physically, and although I wouldn't call them cravings per s?, my body is in desperate need of chilling out. And baclofen increases the agitation/anxiety, increasing the need for al. Ironic and sad, but true.

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Near but not arrived!
Keep on keeping on Beatle and I'll see you in soberland soon!

[Murphyx]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1124346 wrote: Why drop cucumbers? seems to me they should be a mainstay
I could have sworn I remembered you saying you were in a GMT+1 zone (it's quite possible it was someone else completely and I'm mixing MWO people up...again). If you were in Central Europe you would be aware of the problem with e-coli in cucumbers causing dozens of fatalities at the moment. Well it's not actually the cucumbers but the way they're being prepared/packed. Anyhoo, probably all rather irrelevant.

beatle;1124355 wrote: Anyway, my libido never receded, only increased with the declining of fruition that accompanied the increasing of bac dosing. (I know I said that already.) In fact, my lack of fruition in the real-life sense has been missing for 10 years and 8 months minus 18 days (not that I'm measuring :H and not that it matters so much in the physical sense, since I've always been the independent sort). Again tmi; I'm losing all sense of personal boundaries.

How's that for innuendo and double entendre and even some of that female thing that males apparently really don't get: subtlety?

Not subtle at all, really quite brazen in fact. I wholly approve. :goodjob:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

It's so nice to have company in the middle of (my) night!

Go bac to sleep beatle. It's easy. Turn off the computer. Lay (lie?) down. close your eyes. When the bad voices come, count your breaths. Or something.

I also thought I was neva eva going to reach bac-fruition. Not so, obviously. Punishing though it was, it happened. I'm VERY excited that you went an entire day without booze. The craving (or whatever) subsided for that long! woop diddie woop, beatle! The end draws nigh. or something.

I'm going bac to bed, too.
sleep tight, peeps.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Why do I keep losing my posts? -- always seems to happen in the middle of the night. Just aggravates me more, takes more time and keeps me up longer. Anyway, it was about google and cucumbers and it's really scary. Seriously, not Murphily. Unfortunately.

More tomorrow.

p.s. I think I've now reversed my reputation for procrastination and reticence, as urged, and now I am once again sleep deprived.