Daily dosing record - beatle

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

oh, yes, and the drinking obsession came bac with a vengeance. I need to address the dosage again. But am off for a few hours. I'll be bac at you all later today/tonight.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I am wrong just as often as I am right. It bums me out. I would ask that you not tell Ed that I admitted that. He is kind enough, even now, especially now, to turn right when I am SURE that it is a right turn we should make, even though he knows we need to go left. He is not so kind as to ignore the opportunity to say "I told you so." Which is good, because I couldn't be married to a man who wasn't a little bit... well, like me. also, I would like to think I am always kind, but I can be a completely snarky bitch and you and everyone else around here knows it.

I was completely wrong for posting what I did, regardless of my intentions. I apologize. You were looking for support and you found it, and I should have known that and understood it. Again I'm sorry, beatle.

Let's just let it go, okay? gone. fini.

What you are completely right about is my unconditional support. Which you have, unconditionally, of course, because that is what that means.

Craving is understandable, I suppose, since I dropped by 40mg yesterday and felt the siren song. It seems to me that this is a really good place to bring that and get support for it. If there is one common bond among all MWO-ers it's that. Bac, no bac, days, months, years, we've all got that experience. It's a lousy common denominator, but that's what brought us here to find some help. (and friends.)

:l and :h
K

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Really like the song, reg. thanks.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1138906 wrote: sort of appropriate or inappropriate.. I know you are both women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaAxijKkd48&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - ‪Madness 'Sorry'‬‏

Apologies in advance if it really doesn't help anything.

Not sure what you are sorry for... oh, I get it -- for being an a**hole and removing your posts.

Love all your donations tho!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I didn't like the song so much, actually, because I couldn't see what he was sorry for.

Now I do.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ies-50781.html

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

reggie, you are so dear, really.

beatle, hi!!!!

what's striking me beautifully right now is the magnitude of friendship. yours and ne's. ours here in general at mwo. how could we possibly do this without each other?! and why would we, since we have the choice? i hope that most of the sufferers out there find solace either here, or in their own way wherever, so they can hobble up from crippled to the tall-walking biped they were meant to be. (if i sound corny, blame it on reg's nick cave song that plays as i write.) this is not a beast to slay all on one's own.

i had so much to say in response to previous posts (i've been occupied w meself lately, as you may know, so have not kept up outside of rudyworld). but i'll leave it at this for now, and hope you'll keep sayin so we can stay connected.

i'm thinking of you, and sending you high vibrations for your walk in life that will surely send your stride a-lifted, if not now at this moment, then very soon indeed. hold that vision.

love,
rudy

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1140657 wrote: Beatle in the spirit of forgiveness

A cheesy tune just a song actually

hope ya well

Reg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4kuXwcVOyY[/video]]YouTube - ‪Nick Cave - Are you the one that i've been waiting for‬‏

I don't get it. I don't get the message of the song and what "the spirit of forgiveness" is referring to.

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

gee, reggie, i surely don't know you very well. what's going on?! i loved the nick cave song, and thank you for reminding me of him; i once listend to him and loved him. and now he's back, thanks to you. i sure hope you don't mean what you just said.

for me you're like a woodsy spirit, popping in to say hello with only ever positive things to say. why would you ever ever deprive us of that? (i think beatle just didn't like the song; i've recommended songs plenty a time and rarely does anybody ever even comment on them. it's not personal.)

now I confused.

please stay. i like you.

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

in fact, now i'm gonna youtube nick cave. thank you again. i had forgotten about him.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1140754 wrote: Dont worry was a confused post I spose ....erased

I would appreciate it if you erased the quote.

i still don't know what you are talking about, or what you are saying here.

unless it is the AAsshole thing you did on the "How about stickies" thread. When you lashed out at me and then removed your post.

And if it is, can you come right out and say it?

And what does "I appreciate it if you erased the quote." mean?

I am not going to ever fucking erase another post ever again Reggie! You have fucked me up by doing it. I'm certainly not going to do it for you because you ask me to. I did it with Tracy, too (when she erased hers and asked me to erase mine), with terrible results.

Now I see you just added that you are done with this thread and MWO to your original post.

What does this mean?

It sounds like you are in a crisis situation, Reg. Not a good time to leave MWO.

Spill the beans. Tell us why you are lashing out now instead of piping in with positive vibes.

It's worrisome, at best.

Please let us know what is going on.

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

am listening to cave's 'into my arms'.

something about heaven's angels watching over you. '...but i believe in love. and i know that you do, too.'

that's all i've got. clearly there's a bunch of back story that i know notihing about. i'll bow out. just wanted to put in some positive vibes.

'keep the candle burning, make sure the journey is bright.'

thanks, nick.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

hi Rubes! Thanks for piping/pitching in. I am prone to falling out of the threads, partly because I am in a place with poor internet connection, and partly because I have been so self-involved. I hope to get back to more progress (or regress) reports soon.

yes, there are a lot of friendships and friendships in the makings going on here.We are all connected and connecting in different ways.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1140754 wrote:
Im done with this thread and MWO in general

wasting to much precious time

What is going on here, reg?

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

hi beatle! hiiii! good to hear you! yeah, i figured your internet thing was sketchy. you've said that before. drag. i NEED this place lately! it provides my connection to my favorite humanity.

i hope you're well. i'm thinking of you. i'm hoping you've given yourself SOME priority, which i know is hard to do when you have a family to take care of. sheesh!

i often feel that here i am making some of the most important friendships of my LIFE! ones that will last for a very long time. together we are all going through the most important transformation, perhaps, of our lifetimes. how much more intimate than that does it get?

speaking of music (previous posts), i just found out that my favorite group (jarabe de palo) is playing in nyc on tues and wed. i'd TRAVEL to see them! now, i get to go to my adult home town to celebrate my new life, which is so beautifully and indelibly marked by their presence. urr, so anyway, that is the latest exciting news in my life.

i always love to hear how goes it in yours.

big fat abrazos para ti!
xo xo rudy ru ruby dee

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

omg, Reggie, I wrote that post in jest, and it was a repeat of exactly what another person said to me and others, and I assumed you (and others) would get it.

That was wrong. But your reply indicated to me that you got it.

Then you removed your post without explaining it, and I didn't have a chance to explain mine.

It was truly a joke, and I meant it as a recreation of the other person's reaction. I can see now that if you didn't follow that other person's threads and outrageous posts, you would take it seriously. I am so sorry. I was being so humorous (I thought), and you took it literally.

Assuming you took it literally, I can see how awful it would make you feel, and I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that

But, to set the record straight, I wrote a long post (which remains undeleted or edited) about how and why there are no stickies and no moderators on MWO (in response to the stickies theme of the thread). I explained the developments in detail, and explained how it had changed the whole MWO site, as nasty people took over, alienating others, calling them names, etc. It's all there in the post on that thread. And I think it was VERY relevant and very useful information for others.

Reggie replied with a post (which I have copied and saved in a word document. (He has a habit of deleting posts, and although he claimed he wouldn't delete this one, he did, after all.) I feel it is unethical to come back with his post, that I saved, but I will sum it up:

His response was "well fuck me.." I won't use any more direct quotes from the post, but he basically said why are you winging about the past, you joined what 4 years ago, and you are still whining about the way things used to be...

It was offensive and hurt me personally. I also thought it quite obvious that my post put things in perspective for people who don't know the background of MWO and the so-called moderators. I wasn't whining so much as imparting valuable information. To be told i was whining, by Reggie, of all people, was indeed vey hurtful.

Instead of getting hurt, I decided to come back with what I thought was humorous, to ease the tenseness of the situation.

Backfired, obviously.

Profuse apologies for that.

I still don't understand why you would write that first post in response to my post, though. It was mean-spirited and hurtful. You were uncharacteristically blunt in a very derogatory way. It still hurts me when I go back and re-read it. It made feel sad and unworthy. Please re-read it yourself and try to think how it made me feel.

That's why I started worrying about you.