Daily dosing record - beatle

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

And, p.s., looking back at your responses, reg, it really did look like you got the joke. Really. With the ignore button and all. As I said, I'm truly sorry for the hurt it appears to have imparted. It was not meant.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I am really sorry Reg, and I never would have written that response if I meant it, and I would have thought that you and others would know that that was so out of character of me that I couldn?t possibly mean it. I have NEVER written something like that before in seriousness. In fact, I don?t think I have ever written anything disparaging towards anyone EVER. You all should know that,for sure.

If you can find a post by me that even resembles that post I wrote in jest, I will swallow my words, but I know I never have. I just don?t do that sort of thing.

And also ftr, your post, Reggie, made me feel like leaving MWO. I wrote a long and considered post, poured my heart out, explained a situation that was extremely vexing to me, and a situation I thought would help explain to newbies what had happened in the past, and you responded with:

Fuck me ,,between you and Nea..I dont Know whether to run ..shit ..or go blind.... Beatle whats a newbie to make of this ..just wondering

there is too much retrospection and introspection FFS .. start a twitter thinggy ..


Notice I removed some words so as to avoid directly quoting a post in its entirety that was removed by another member. Some of the even more offensive words.

And now YOU are leaving my thread and MWO?

Seriously, after that response, Reg, I felt like leaving MWO.

Instead, I came back with what I thought was a humorous take on things. I wish some of you would chime in here and say that you knew what I was referring to and that it was quite obviously not meant to be mean, but repeating another member?s outrageous things she (Tracy A) said to me and others? Ne, for example? Otter? Tip? Bleep? To mention a few.

But instead, you let it stand, knowing full well what I meant, and knowing full well that I would NEVER EVER write a post like that if I wasn?t trying to be funny.

I?ve saved a number of her (Tracy A?s) quotes, and I was using her exact words? to make a joke out of it.

That anyone who knows me here could let that post stand, and let people believe that I really meant to be nasty and mean, implying that it was ok for people to believe I was nasty and mean? A little support guys?

You were all there. You all experienced her vitriol, surely you knew what I was referring to. A little support guys?

I should have gone with my first instinct and written that I felt like leaving MWO after a response like yours, Reg.

Would have been a little more appropriate response than trying to make humour out of a situation that was far from humourous.

Then you erased your post, making it look like my post came out of the blue. How?s that for ethics?

Yeah, I have a lot more to say about all of the support I?ve got here at MWO. How many times I?ve been abused by Tracy A and others without any members sticking up for me or any of the others. Making us look ridiculous, and making 3 others I know of to abandon the baclofen threads, and MWO altogether. And baclofen. But others thought it was fine and it would all blow over.

I practically left because of it. I couldn?t stand to be abused and to have others abused, driving people from the ONLY site on the internet with a long history of exchanging information and personal experience.

I was urged to start my own ?blog?, which I had resisted ever since the blog thingy took over the threads that until then had been exchanges of information, thoughts, experiences? When I finally did, I regretted it many times. But took solace in the fact that that the vitriol had never directly invaded my thread.
And then missy comes on with her mean and hateful words, abusive and directly insulting? well, why I didn?t leave then, is a wonder. I guess I wasn?t so vulnerable anymore. But many others are/were, and would leave seeing that kind of personal attack.

So, if pouring my heart out about those things, and then getting a response like Reggies wouldn?t make me want to lv MWO, well, it is because I am in a better place? albeit it not much better.

And if people could possibly believe I would write something so vitriolic, well, my 4 years here have obviously meant little. C?mon guys? Was that beatle? Have I ever done that (personally accosted someone)?

I could really use some support here.

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hmmm. All I have to add to this is that Nick Cave is absolutely brilliant. I think we should all agree on that and move on?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

SO glad you're bac, bleep.
Must have a listen to Nick Cave but knee deep in red, silver and blue glitter atm.
Smudging up the keys on my beloved Mac. pfffft.

Beatle, you know it's all good, right? It is. Reg is good. (very good. he actually *talks* in the other part of the forum. yer funny.)

and bleep's bac!

:l and and :h

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Listen to "The Boatman's Call" It's playing as I type this. "People they ain't no good..."

One of the best albums ever. Reg is good, Beatle's good, you're good, despite what Nick has to say...

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1140959 wrote: Beatle Please big huggs to you lets move on ....you got bigger fish to fry as the cliche goes ..I will always support you take care and am deeply sorry for causing this whole faracas ..its completely unnecessary .sorry take care.

Yes, it was completely unnecessary, I agree and I also apologize.

Anyway, I will go back and erase the post where I practically quote word for word a post you wrote and deleted. That was unfair and unethical and I will never do it again.

I would also like to delete a few other posts from here during this interchange because I don't want it to taint my journal of sorts. I'd like to just forget about it. This is my choice, but I don't want to do it without consulting you first, and allowing you to delete your posts, as well.

All the best between us now, Reg, and pls keep posting your songs. Can't tell you how much that video/song "Give it a little more time" meant to me. It really lifted me up (and still does).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zwn1QP9CIk[/video]]YouTube - ‪Lambchop - Give It‬‏

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I really, really like that song, too.
:l

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Lo0p;1138092 wrote: When you're on such a high dose, I honestly don't think the variance matters much at all. I can take 100 mgs less or more on any given day and sometimes not even notice it. But then again, we are very different.

I said this to you when you first got you're prescription, I'll say it again: .25 mg of xanax is nothing when stacked up next to the severity of your anxiety disorder. Isn't your script written for 4x that in a day? When it hits you that bad take .75 mg. What is the worst that could happen? You might fall asleep. Is that worse than feeling like you're crawling out of you're own skin? Shit, that might not even be enough.

You won't take my advice when it comes to baclofen. You won't take my advice when it comes to xanax. I'm at a loss as to why I'm even typing this other than because I owe you my life and want nothing more than for you to feel the way I do now.

Order some fucking naltrexone.

I know i've said this before, but don't know why you said this, Lo0p.

I have taken your advice into consideration all the time. As many here will attest, your own experience regarding baclofen is, to put it mildly, extraordinary.

I always have to take this into consideration.

Plus, you are a what... 30-year-old male? in great condition... whereas I am a perimenopausal woman in terrible physical shape, and I have two kids entirely dependent on me to take care of them morning and night. Our situations are a tad different.

As I've said on previous occasions, I took your xanax advice and with good results. I am eternally grateful for that. And I apologize for not expressing that to you.

I'm looking into NAL, as I have been since day one on bac (almost 2 years ago). I know no psyche or doctor I have any relationship with who will prescribe it to me, given my past history. And I have no insurance. Still looking into it, tho.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

update

btw, holding steady at 300 mg/day, spread in even doses of 50mg/ every 3 hours, plus xanax .25mg, 8.30. .125 17.30 and .25 23.30 (last bac dose), plus .125 prn, which is about once, sometimes twice, a day.

Almost all SEs are gone or greatly diminished.

Drinking is somewhat diminished with some effort.

Motivation is considerably diminished, but functionality significantly restored, which is paramount atm.

I now attribute all my panic attacks to real-world panic-inducing panics, and not baclofen, which may well have exacerbated them, but not caused them. Same goes for Al.

And I have slept in exactly 8 different places in the past 2 months, so I also attribute most of my disorientation to that, and not bac.

I will return when and if there is a change in status quo.

[RudyB]

Daily dosing record - beatle

great about the se's beatle! there's some hope. i hold out hope for you on the al, too.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

And reg, when will you stop deleting posts? I wish I never suggested it in terms of our tit-for-tat, I really do. We should have let it stand for what it was. You were a mean ass and so was I. But then again, it went over two different threads, and you would have just deleted your posts, and had already, and would let me stand out as the one mean ass.

Anyway, the latest post you wrote, and then deleted, was a great one for its song recommendation. Why delete? Maybe you posted it before? If so, so what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G6wy2wzzbs&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - ‪Lambchop - This Corrosion (The Sisters of Mercy Cover)‬‏

A great cover, one of those few that are better than, or an entirely new interpretation of, the original.

I was actually about to post my own favorite cover of one of my favorite songs that was speaking my feelings about confusion atm...

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Land of Confusion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN2nHnPA_F0[/video]]YouTube - ‪Katzenjammer cover Genesis Land Of Confusion‬‏

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Sorry Reg. I will be out of internet touch until Tuesday. Arghh grrr... don't know how I can live without it.

Anyway, I look forward to listening to your songs when I get back to civilization.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1144793 wrote:

what ever i like you beatle god knows why?

Why not?

I like you too.. Reg Always have. Your "give it" song bonded us forever, y'know. (For now,anyway.:H)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

:H:H:H
omg. Is anyone else enjoying this musical parade? I love "I'm an asshole" (Better than I'm a d***! :H)

glad you guys are making happy, but I hope it doesn't stop the music. 'cause that makes me happy.