Daily dosing record - beatle

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

redhead77;1068188 wrote: That's funny Ne. Get a load of what I take:

Coenzyme Q 10-100mg
Alpha Lipoic Acid-200mg
Acetyl L Carnitine-500mg
Fish Oil-4 grams
Milk Thistle-175 mg x2
Multivitamin
B Complex
Niacin-250mg (flush form)
Borage Oil-1300 mg
Vitamin D3-2000 IUs
Resveratrol-250mg
SAM-e 1200 mg
Lecithin (when I think of it)
Vitamin C-1000 mg
Chromium and cinammon combo to help combat elevated insulin levels

I also have 5 HTP and phosphatidyl serine but haven't been taking them. I haven't been taking L glut because it gives me GI issues. I know it's supposed to be great for us but....you wouldn't want to be around me. My kids mention moving :H
I have both Prescription for Nutritional Healing and Seven Weeks. Good books. Also, I love, love Dr Perricone's stuff on antiaging. Glad to have met someone else who believes in this stuff.

I forgot about CoQ 10. I also take 100mg.

And I should have mentioned vit C. The Seven Weeks protocol includes something like 3,000 mg (or more)? per day. Larson believes it is one of the most important vites. It is water soluble so you can take as much as you decide to. The only side effect you might have is expensive pee.:H

I don't take SAMe because it is not supposed to be taken by OCD people (formerly known and manic-depressive). I have not been diagnosed officially with OCD, but doctors have hinted at it. It makes sense for me.

Ne, I make up a week's vitamins in pill boxes. It takes 2 minutes. It is my firm belief (also from experience) that supplementing plays a key role in recovery. From anything. It also makes it much easier for your body to deal with coming off alcohol. Alcohol greatly inhibits your body's ability to absorb nutrients (vitamins, etc.), and that means all alcoholic bodies are terribly lacking basic nutrients, many of which are stored, and your storages are depleted. If you try it for a month and then stop, you might notice a big difference. I certainly have. Not much effort for helping heal your body and making you feel better.

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle
I thought the new name for manic-depressive was bi-polar? Been doing a lot of googling recently trying to work out whats wrong with me!
Have you kept to your schedule for Bac and how's it going with the drinking?

[_serenity_]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I stumbled across a new supplement, Piracetam, which arrived yesterday. I started taking it last night and HIGHLY recommend it to offset the effects of Bac. I think Isolde recommended it originally? It REALLY helps with the foggy-headedness and forgetfulness that we Bacsters struggle with so much. I was able to concentrate today at work for the first time in...forever. A huge thumbs up for Piracetam!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

ignominious;1068280 wrote: Hi Beatle
I thought the new name for manic-depressive was bi-polar? Been doing a lot of googling recently trying to work out whats wrong with me!

Absolutely right Ig! (Bac brain is killing me.) A couple doctors have also hinted at OCD for me, but it never made sense, considering how messy I am. Bi-polar, on the other hand-- that's me, for sure (official diagnosis or not).

I've come up with a new disorder which describes my disorder perfectly: OID.

As you know, OCD = obsessive compulsive disorder (although with my BBD (bac-brain disorder), I might be wrong here.)

Anyway, OID is something I made up, but I do believe exists (at least in me). Obsessive Impulsive Disorder.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

and btw, it's bi-polar that is contraindicated with SAMe, not OCD.

Thanks for catching that Ig.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

ignominious;1068280 wrote:
Have you kept to your schedule for Bac and how's it going with the drinking?

Absolutely have kept to the schedule.

Drinking is steady, not trying to deal with it now. But it is so definitely decreasing. Very encouraging.

Another thing: I don't get much out of alcohol anymore. However, the SE of agitation (often extreme), compounded by other aspects of my psyche/mentality, and especially my life situation, compel me to drink every day. Throughout the day (when possible).

I don't know how to describe it. I feel a tight pain in my chest, and it gets ever more painful with the increase in agitation brought about by the increase in baclofen doses (compounded by other aspects of my psyche/mentality, and especially my life situation).

I have had this feeling throughout my life, in lesser and more extreme variants. Alcohol is the only antidote I have found to this feeling, which has plagued me for as long as I can remember (age 2/3?). But alcohol has been a good friend since I was 17. I got a lot out of it, I have to admit.

And now, it doesn't work. Very upsetting. And exhilarating.

Still, I drink.

[Isolde]

Daily dosing record - beatle

_serenity_;1068431 wrote: I stumbled across a new supplement, Piracetam, which arrived yesterday. I started taking it last night and HIGHLY recommend it to offset the effects of Bac. I think Isolde recommended it originally? It REALLY helps with the foggy-headedness and forgetfulness that we Bacsters struggle with so much. I was able to concentrate today at work for the first time in...forever. A huge thumbs up for Piracetam!

:goodjob:

So glad you're digging the piracetam!! Make sure you get some choline in your system at the same time - it helps the piracetam work. I got a big jar of cheap lecithin for that purpose.
I always take 2g in the morning. Sometimes I'll take it in the afternoon too, if it feels like my brain is starting to check out. When I was on my highest bac dose, I was taking 2 grams 3 times a day. It helped a lot! FTR, I worked my way up from 1g initially. But I've been taking it off and on for about a year now, so I'm pretty used to it and don't feel anything at all negative when I take more of it.

[_serenity_]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Thanks Isolde! :h After I read your recommendation, I researched it and was like, "Wow..this dovetails so well with Bac, and has virtually no side effects!" I ordered a HUGE bucket of pills (501 800mg pills, to be exact) from here: SNS Piracetam, 501 capsules and I couldn't be happier! Less than $50 for a huge stash! It makes the Bac SO much more tolerable. I've been taking two 800mg pills three times a day to start. I'll make sure to get some choline as well...didn't know about that stuff!

[redhead77]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I'm going to have to hook up on some of that stuff. Researched it, and it seems safe enough. What's a few more pills anyway? I figure it's good I resigned from my job, cause once I get to the high doses of bac, combined with my supps, it'll take up a good part of my day. When I combine it with posting on here, it looks like Ive found myself a full time job folks. Hahahaha. Sorry, I avoid posting much after 8pm. Not cause I'm drunk but I take so much bac at night, I act like a nut!!

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I'm going to have to try ordering some piracetam, but our postal service is terrible, things have a habit of just not arriving! I've looked everywhere, nobody here has ever heard of the stuff!

Beatle, it's great that you are managing to stick to your schedule. Results will soon follow.

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

No worries about the Bac-brain, plenty of thought police around here if you start drifting off to la la land!

So glad to hear you're still on track with the dose. As for the drinking, I think its right, even if ironic that you don't try to deal with it atm. The reduced consumption is encouraging for sure but not what we're aiming for.

Can't say much about about the pain in your chest except that it sounds very unpleasant, alarming and uncomfortable. Personally I think that the more Bac we have; frees our brains to work in ways that it hasn't done for many years, maybe to think the unthinkable. Possibly the SEs are too some extent psychosomatic. The more you're troubled the more you will have. I hope you have access to a therapist or at least someone you can talk with about your life.

I know that escape from some aspects of my life was the reason that I took alcohol/drugs - now I have to deal with that head on. Very difficult in my case when it is so undefinable. It is slowly coming into focus I think. A lot of time googling! No access to a shrink here I'm sorry to report. I love the OID diagnosis - can't say you strike me as being impulsive from where I'm sitting but 'que sera'. I've been taking a lot of online self diagnosis tests, trouble is that I get positive score indication on nearly all of them. I know I'm fucked up but come on give me a fucking break!!

Now just one last sentence left to add to your angst.

Are you imminently about to increase your dose?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

OID! that's a diagnosis that resonates!!!

I stand corrected. Maybe. It's not that I don't believe, Red. What's not to believe? I just found it hard enough to remember to take the bac, much less all the rest. And I'm such a newbie to the whole thing that when I started googling it I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed by the often contradictory info.
As an example, in this month's NutritionAction Mag there is an article about Vit C and how it may increase urinary difficulties in older men. But the study was only on men with problems peeing. So no bearing atm, but then my OID kicks in and I start to wonder about the ramifications for me. Those wheels will spin me right off the tracks!

What I have a hard time believing, I suppose, is that each thing we put into our bodies doesn't have an impact on all of the other things. And bac was my only NEED, you know? But you guys have a leg up, and I'm still learning, so thanks.

beatle, the rest is very encouraging. At a certain point everything has to take a backseat to managing bac and managing the day-to-day reality, right? Even managing the drinking? Anyway, can't wait to hear more!
:ls
EDIT: Redhead, what's this about resigning from your job? I take a night off and miss an entire month's worth of news!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I need another life to spend on MWO.

Just to be clear here, I am following many threads completely and thoroughly (mine included )

But I can barely keep up on reading those, let alone responding.

And I’ve very reluctantly and unfortunately opted out of following many threads, due to severe overindulgence here on MWO, leading to insolvency, both financially and personally.

I’ve sacrificed a lot by cutting out threads (Murphy’s, Bruunhilde's, Redhead’s journeys, Lady Lush, for example, and Grommit and Serenity before that (I don't mean to be exclusive here... I just picked random contributors), and the Moms thread recently (although I have written a few long posts for that… not posted, of course), and so many many many more. I know I’m missing out big time, and I’m not happy about it. But it has been a necessity.

As for my (this) thread, I am not only following it, but also reading and rereading the posts here. It’s amazing how the advice keeps seeming new as I progress – or maybe that’s just the memory problem. Have I mentioned that? Can’t remember.

So, I’m going to randomly go through some random things that I randomly remember. Rabble.

The main thing that I wanted to get down here is about the SEs.

I know I’ve been reticent and random (my word for the day) about documenting and explaining these. I’ve definitely and purposely been playing these down, worrying about turning newbies off (not an excuse, as Ne pointed out), including worrying about the reaction that reporting negative SEs would elicit from certain people, which I don’t want on my thread.

Many of the veterans here have urged me to share my experiences, good and bad, as I go forward. As Ne succinctly pointed out here, my experiences (and those of others) are important – more like vital, essential – to others following us. Point taken.

First, an update:

I have been holding steady with the plan and schedule, as outlined above. 255 +/- 10mg/day spread out in 35/25mg doses. (However, I got impatient last night and wanted to push it… was drinking, too, and ended up a mess. Lesson: keep to the schedule – and don’t bother your friends with drunken babble).

As for SEs in the past day or two: The pain in the chest has definitely abated (basically disappeared). I now realize this has always been an SE of increasing bac – even though I have suffered it on and off throughout my life, it is obvious that it does accompany increases in bac, as does increased anxiety at high-dose bac -- at least for many, I think.

Other SEs have also abated in the past two days. I’m sweating less profusely at night, the electric shocks are less shocking, and the hand jerks are less jerky.

I’m also less thirsty at night (while I’m in bed trying to sleep, I mean—the evenings otherwise are full of thirst ), and I don’t have to get up every hour at the call of my bladder. (Usually I’m awake anyway.)

One SE that hasn’t abated is the insomnia. Three or four hours of sleep a night is scary. Still, I’m functioning (sort of) during the day, but my body feels it and shows it. I have bloodshot eyes like a binge hangover (well, I am still drinking, so…), my skin is red and splotchy and in general, I am not presentable. As fortune would have it, I don’t need any presenting at the moment.

I’m assuming the insomnia, and accompanying unpresentableness (yes, it is a word), will dissipate at some point. At least the unpresentableness part.

Most distressing of all, however, is the memory and word recall – they keep getting worse. I’m holding out for the switch on these.

Current strategy:
My approach now is based on the many different experiences and opinions of all the people here – mostly those who have reached the switch, and, incredibly, continue (constantly) to help others out and along the way. I vow to do the same someday.

Lessons I have learned/am learning (many of you have said all this over and over in your own ways, but this is MY thread. ):

Titration should go faster than just what you feel your body can tolerate. (This is obviously a theme these days, and I’m jumping on it).

Flexibility is good, but only according to a plan… make a plan based on reason – experience from others and your own general reaction to meds – and tweak it as you go, responding to your own body. But always with the plan.

Make a plan and make a system to carry out the plan. A plan is not enough. I have never been planless (clueless, definitely). But just as important as the plan, is devising a means to carry out the plan. For me, it simply meant a chart and an alarm system (and much prodding by you know whos’s).

Hang on -- I’m getting way ahead of myself here – I’ll write it all up with my own experience one day… post switch.

SO

Beatle’s past (emphasis on past) SEs:

To be clear: I have probably suffered (probably, I said) worse SEs than any others who have not quit baclofen. I have shared these SEs in detail with a couple others here privately, but not so much publicly on the threads because of the above stated reasons. Plus, I feel like a freak.

And I think I have freaked some people out with them.

You will see why. (If you care to read this… I don’t recommend it, however.)
I am only posting this at the urging of others. This is a description of my SEs in the last few months of last year, up until I started titrating faster a few weeks ago.

Please remember, my experience is unique and my reactions extreme. And keep in mind that perhaps these reactions would have been far less if I understood that slower titration could lead to increased SEs. (Yeah, I know everyone is saying it now… but I don’t think they were a year ago.)

LOOOONG description of my SEs (over a year or so):

I can't remember things from one moment to the next, or from one week to the next, or one month to the next; I mix up my speech, putting words in the wrong order, switching the beginnings of words to other consonants from other words in the same sentence, switching the order of words, using completely wrong words -- all of which I notice (I think) right as I'm saying them or right after, but it's very disconcerting.
(Note, this has, in fact, improved. I just didn’t realize it until now, rereading this.)

I hallucinate sounds throughout the day and night. It sounds like a TV is on in the other room. Or a radio. (We live in a fairly remote place, so no possibility of mixing things up there.) Or I hear people talking. Nobody there. And blips, bleeps (the sound), boings, etc.

Sometimes I am jolted awake by sudden sounds – bangs or crashes, or whatnot. But there is no explanation for it. Sometimes I hear somebody calling my name, loud and clear (at night). Very jarring and distinct.

And at night, I hallucinate other, more bizarre and random things... like there's a video camera in the corner of my bedroom taping me while I sleep; there's a cat rubbing up against my back (when I'm in bed -- btw, we don't have a cat), I can feel it, but every time I try to reach around and pet it, it goes away.

Going from bad to worse:
I have no orientation at night of where I am or where my body is. I think I'm on one side of the bed, and then flip around to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, but the bathroom is on the other side. I wake up and look at the walls and the ceiling, desperately trying to figure out where I am. (I do travel a lot, so this is not so strange, I suppose). Sometimes I wake up with my head at the foot of the bed, or stretched across is lengthwise.

Another scary thing is that a few times I woke up and not only did I not know WHERE I was, I didn't know WHO I was. This is the scariest feeling I've ever had. (Note: have not had this for a few months)


More side effects: Going to the refrigerator to get dinner plates; putting things away in wrong places, missing things when I reach out for them, i.e. the refrigerator door handle (I try to close my hands too early and there's nothing there); dropping things when my hand does one of those twitch things (which are more like jerks than twitches); putting things down on the edge of tables, counters, etc. so they fall on the floor; inability to concentrate... can't finish even simple tasks (like writing a PM or a MWO post, or just answering an email, or cooking dinner or anything). I get distracted and start doing another thing, and before I can finish that, I get distracted again. And I forget all about what I was supposed to be doing. “Massive absentmindedness”, one MWO member commiserated.

And last, but not least: agitation! A feeling of panic and unease about 1/2 hour after a dose, sort of buzzing in an amphetamine way (that part’s not so bad ☺), and a burning, unpleasant period but also when I wake up in the middle of the night and in the morning ... churning, obsessive thoughts.

(I know, that last part would make you think it is more than the baclofen, and that I need some other medications... this is a conclusion I also came to, and I have, over the past few years, tried 6 different SSRIs, quite literally from a to z. Plus Wellbutrin, Abilify, Geodon -- I have such extreme reactions to all of these that I have had to stop after a few days -- basically the reactions are the same as many of the SEs from bac, but magnified beyond toleration.)

Then there are the physical side effects. Flabby, drooping skin, jowls; Weight gain (even though I'm eating a very low fat diet and exercising) -- this was good at first, since I was very underweight, but it is depressing now because all of my clothes are too small…

Yeah, pretty grim… but on the positive side, my SEs are much better now. And I am at a much higher dose. (I know, I know Lo0p, but you weren’t very forthcoming with it, and who would listen to an “anomaly” anyway?;-))

And, I have been reassured repeatedly by others who have forged the way, that these SEs go away. Hey, it’s like a long hangover, worse in some ways, better in others, and then at the end: no more hangover(s). Well, if it works like that, that is. I joined for the long haul.

To be continued…

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Wow beatle, quite a hectic summary!

Just so I don't get you wrong - that's a list of most of the SE's you have experienced along your journey, not a list of all the SE's you are experiencing now, all at one time? I think your head would fall off if you had all of those at once!

It's amazing that you have had the fortitude to keep going, you deserve a medal! And the switch! Which I'm sure will be yours, now that you are maintaining such a consistent dose.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

No, I wasn't very forthcoming. I couldn't be. I didn't know if I was right and TBH I still don't.

I still cringe at the thought of someone getting hurt trying to copy what I did.

But I've been watching these patterns and stories develop over the last 18 months. Especially with the all the newer people who are titrating more rapidly than most have in the past.

I don't want to elaborate much, because I'm just not sure I know what I am talking about.

I still think you need to go higher and faster...but damn...with the SE's you described to me in private, I don't want to be the one who killed Beatle. You saved my life in the fall of '09.