Daily dosing record - beatle

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Thanks for the update Beats. Rooting for you here and like to see how its going.

SEs can get to be alarming even to those of us that used to buy pharmaceuticals to hallucinate, sleep, stay awake. get brain dead. Don't worry. Ha!

On 02-28 you told us your dose was 255mg. Where are you at today?

Loop - You, er........... individual: tell us the strategy you employed and are employing. If it worked for you and if it didn't. I know that you took hugh quantities at a gulp. I think its worth letting newbies know and others. Information is information, the more the better, especially when there is so little to be found about high dose bac. When you started it there was next to none.
Oh. I almost forgot. Thanks for sharing the blame if beatle explodes!

[tiptronic_ct]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Yep: out with it, Lo0p...

Beatle: :l:l:l:l:l

[Bruunhilde]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hey beatle, hang in there, I know what you mean about having to cut down on threads, I'm cutting down on bac-only threads mostly, because I'm not on bac and can't contribute much as a result. So pardon the fact that I didn't read about your SEs, because I'm no longer in that pool of people dealing with them.

I do agree re the supps though, that alcoholics desperately need supplements to balance out what the AL did and also what caused the imbalance that helped lead to alcoholism in the first place. I've also read over and over, that despite enzymes etc, we mostly all have absorption issues, so all the supplements might be really good for the toilet water and not doing much for you. Everyone here should be taking huge doses of probiotics and by that I don't mean just eating yogurt. That is, IF you want to balance things out.

What free aminos do you take?

IMO. Anyways, hang in there b.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Well...I do have a story to tell, a long one. It is probably both cautionary and inspirational. I do have a lot of information to share, of the ilk that I've not seen around here. I think I've been places with baclofen where no one has ever gone before and Dr. L agrees.

I am okay. Eff, I'm waaaay better than okay. I've kept many secrets from all of you because I wasn't sure if it was safe to share. I think I'm ready now. But some of you know how I write. It could come tonight @ 3am in an hour or it could be weeks. Either way I think it's time for me to start my own thread. I'll do it when it happens. :nutso:

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I keep telling myself that I will shortly go and respond to each and every post (that warrants responding to) on this thread. And there are quite a few.

Instead, I respond to only those posts that demand attention (and this applies to the whole forum), or, mostly, to those posts where I feel I have something to contribute.

Bruunhilde;1069430 wrote:
What free aminos do you take?

I have been taking free-form amino complex capsules. I take all aminos with 6 grams (6,000mg) l-glut powder mixed in a glass of cold water -- this is actually delicious. In addition, I take Taurine (750-1,000mg), GABA (MWO) (750mg), acetyl carnitine 500mg, etc. Vitamins C and Bs are important to take together with the aminos.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

And this one certainly demands responding to:

Lo0p;1069672 wrote: Well...I do have a story to tell, a long one. It is probably both cautionary and inspirational. I do have a lot of information to share, of the ilk that I've not seen around here. I think I've been places with baclofen where no one has ever gone before and Dr. L agrees.

I am okay. Eff, I'm waaaay better than okay. I've kept many secrets from all of you because I wasn't sure if it was safe to share. I think I'm ready now. But some of you know how I write. It could come tonight @ 3am in an hour or it could be weeks. Either way I think it's time for me to start my own thread. I'll do it when it happens. :nutso:

Yes, about time you shared your story and whatever else you have to share about baclofen. If there are secrets (and you want to share them) -- well, what could be better than your own thread? Tonight @ 3am works better for me than weeks...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Morning, beatle. I hear you about the time constraints. And the SEs. ouch. I'm very glad you are sharing the journey. You already are contributing and encouraging, ftr. yay, you!

I woke up thinking about this:

beatle;1068449 wrote: I don't know how to describe it. I feel a tight pain in my chest, and it gets ever more painful with the increase in agitation brought about by the increase in baclofen doses (compounded by other aspects of my psyche/mentality, and especially my life situation).

I have had this feeling throughout my life, in lesser and more extreme variants. Alcohol is the only antidote I have found to this feeling, which has plagued me for as long as I can remember (age 2/3?). But alcohol has been a good friend since I was 17. I got a lot out of it, I have to admit.
And now, it doesn't work. Very upsetting. And exhilarating.
Still, I drink.

and wow. I have had three EKGs and even a stress test in the last couple of years because I was CONVINCED that the ache in my chest was physical. It WAS physical. It just wasn't a symptom of a physical problem, you know? The docs were pretty clear it wasn't my heart, because the pain was too consistent and other reasons. But it was often accompanied by nauseau, and other signs of heart-doom, so the tests were done. My ticker is happy and healthy, of course.

It's gone now, for the most part. It's happened a couple of times, maybe, since I've been able to go bac down. And I don't remember it distinctly when going up. I distinctly remember the anxiety though. ouch again.

I miss my friend, AL. She was a bitch, but I knew her well. She simply does not exist anymore. I'd have to try really, really, really hard to find solace from the bottle. I think it would take a while, and a lot less bac. But I like this world better, and have found new friends.
I love where you are, though I know it's probably pretty yucky for you. I was pretty frightened about going up!up!up! But it works and you're close. I've called the chorus, they're gathering at the bus stations. (not a lot of money in angel choruses and there's no rush)
:h, which I use frequently and with sincerity.
But also, love you. kttdp and reaching out! (ahem)

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

bleep;1069099 wrote: Wow beatle, quite a hectic summary!

Just so I don't get you wrong - that's a list of most of the SE's you have experienced along your journey, not a list of all the SE's you are experiencing now, all at one time? I think your head would fall off if you had all of those at once!

Yes. As I wrote: This is a description of my SEs in the last few months of last year (probably more like the last year), up until I started titrating faster a few weeks ago.

I know it was easy to get lost in the avalanche of SEs that followed, and I tried to make notes indicating SEs that had abated and/or disappeared.

When I experienced these SEs, many of them were at the same time. That is to say, in the daytime I would hear hallucinatory sounds (TV/radio, people talking in other room), also miss things I went to grab, put things/look for things in wrong places, have twitches and jerk of hands, oh, and I forgot -- very important, loss of balance, tripping on things, running into things. All of these would be at the same time during the day, just not necessarily at the exact same moment. And in periods of greater and lesser acuteness. All these SEs have decreased, or more like softened, some more than others, and memory and word loss accompanied all other SEs. I might be led to believe these SEs (memory/word loss) have abated, but I think it would be closer to the truth to say that they have become less pronounced because I have acclimated myself to them, and learned how to compensate for them.

At night, hallucinations would come and go. I wouldn't worry much about them. I had another one last night that I might, or might not, explain later in this thread. I'm used to them and they are not of the sort I suffered when withdrawing from alcohol cold turkey. I am a vegetarian, by the way, which could partially explain my extraordinary difficulties with this particular method of detox. Then again, the brutality on the body of suddenly removing a substance it has been regularly subjected to as a form of self medication for 10 years could also contribute to the difficulty I have with this particular oddly named detox method.

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

It's not clear to me if you have stopped drinking now or are you talking about past experience.

Whichever, I'm pleased that you appear to be sticking to your schedule. How are the cravings and what dose are you on today?

[Doggygirl]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle. Just stopping by for a wave and to say that I am rooting for you!!!!

DG

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Ne/Neva Eva;1069857 wrote: Morning, beatle. I hear you about the time constraints. And the SEs. ouch. I'm very glad you are sharing the journey. You already are contributing and encouraging, ftr. yay, you!
Thank you for that.

I never bought in to the idea that I could contribute much by having my own thread. The only thing my journey so far could contribute is as a "what not to do" thread, or a "do as I say, not as I do" sort of thread. I was contributing on other threads whenever I thought I had something to contribute (and I apparently had a high estimation of myself).

I only started this thread because I was pressured into it ()... Well, actually, a number of members here impressed upon me how important it would be in keeping me accountable. For the past year or so, this common sense fell on deaf ears, as most common sense tends to in beatle's case. In fact, beetles do not have ears.

Ne/Neva Eva;1069857 wrote: I have had three EKGs and even a stress test in the last couple of years because I was CONVINCED that the ache in my chest was physical. It WAS physical. It just wasn't a symptom of a physical problem, you know?
Yes, I know. It is

physical. Never even occurred to me it was anything else, or could be a symptom of anything else, other than my freakiness. Talk about self blame and internalizing (from the womb, more or less).

Actually, I hinted at it a couple of times as a child to an adult, but the reactions freaked out this little freak. I backed down and learned to live with it. Until I found a way to make it go away. And the rest is herstory.

Ne/Neva Eva;1069857 wrote: It's gone now, for the most part. It's happened a couple of times, maybe, since I've been able to go bac down.

My physical chest pain has escalated with each titration. I didn't realize this until recently, since it has been an on-again-off-again ailment throughout my life, with no correlation/cause connection, at least that I could fathom... I'm sure there actually was.

"Gone for the most part" sounds like something I can live with.

Ne/Neva Eva;1069857 wrote: I miss my friend, AL.... But I like this world better, and have found new friends.

That's the world I want to be in. Please reserve a spot for me.

(What am I saying? The spot is already reserved. I just have to get over there and take it. -- but thank you, all of you, for keeping it warm, inviting and irresistible.

Oh yeah, and I have already found new friends in that world.

:groupluv:

(You have no idea how hard it was for me to hit that emoticon button.)

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Thank you for all your support DG. You know how much it means to me.

[Doggygirl]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1070298 wrote: Thank you for all your support DG. You know how much it means to me.

Someday we will be gray haired and wrinkly sitting here at MWO in our rocking chairs talking about how it was getting sober when we were young, and how the upstarts don't know what they are talking about. When we've totally got sobriety locked and loaded and when we are older than dirt. That will be a long way off though, since we are 29. At least I am, and a lot of people around here are. I'm assuming you are 29 like the rest of us, yes????



:l

:h

DG

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I think I'm about 290 years old (in beatle years).

[ignominious]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle you are giving ambiguous information. I really would urge you to be more specific so that we can give you the best information we have available pertaining to your situation. As usual, its good to see that you appear to be on track and that hidden beneath your hard exterior there is humor lurking.

Again I ask you for detailed information to complete my analysis.

Specifically I would like to point out that:

Adult Drugstore beetles live for 18 days. The species name sounds appropriate but I doubt you are more than 9000 years old.
Some accounts of the Splendour beetle would put you at nearly 2 years old. I hope your computer has the appropriate filters turned on.

Slightly confused

Ig